Title: Store Room
Author: Quick-demon
Disclaimer: Christmas wish list: Life size blow up doll of Jak, a life size cut out of Daxter and a Crocadog of my own! Imagine the possibilities...
Rating: PG-13
Genre: General, Humor
Game: Jak II. Early in the game. The weapon in the fortress blow up mission.
Summery: Jak and Dax get stuck inside a closet while on a mission... hmm... some heroes they are. How are they going to get through an old style door? Door knobs can prove more of a challenge than buttons! Read on!
Author's note: I got this idea from a challenge in another fandom but I thought it would be funny to apply it to Jak and Dax fandom. No one's ever heard Jak and Dax getting trapped in store rooms right? So I thought why not give this a try. After all no one's ever done this before!
My deepest thanks to Seraphsaiyan for beta-ering this fic.
The fortress is large and holds the entire military outlook on situations and events. It was the main training area for Krimzon Guards and doubles as a nifty prison. Right now a man with bright blond-green hair, blue tunic and white pants with brown boots crept along its empty halls. On his shoulder was a small furry animal, which had a sour look on his face, was orange and scrawny. They both had goggle caps; perhaps they're best friends...
"Why do we have to blow up some stupid weapons anyway?" the orange creature complained
"Because, Daxter" the blond long eared man sighed as he had been repeating it all along, "It'll really nab the Baron in his plans"
"Please explain this revenge of yours Jak" the creature, Daxter, asked
The man Jak just glared and said sarcastically, "Why do you think I want to tear him to shreds?"
"Because you're a hotdog maker and you want to be promoted to ice-cream man?"
"What?"
"I dunno. Just passing a stupid comment"
"Come on! You're not that thick!"
"No I'm not Jak but do you have to be so... hell-bent?"
"How would you like it if someone puts you through unspeakable pain for two years for no reason?"
"Um you have a point but still..."
"Dax its no walk in the park! I'm not over reacting on this if that's what you're thinking"
"Ok fine but if we get blown up-"
"Shhh!"
Daxter halted his words and his mouth was open like a chocking fish. Jak had his fingers to his lips warning for silence. Their ears were adjusted to the silence so they heard it was broken by the clatter of boots. Krimzon Guard boots.
"Shit" Daxter swore under his breath
They were in a hall, with no turn off to hide behind. Jak looked around quickly for a means of escape. The guards could come around the corner at any minute and see them. The alarm would be raised and they'd be captured of killed before you could say 'For Mar's sake!'.
"Jaaak! Hiding would be good... right about now!" Daxter whined
Jak saw a closed door. It was the same colour as the grey halls so he didn't notice it earlier. Jak darted over to the door, opened it, heaved himself inside and shut the door. He didn't dare to breathe, as the marching boots grew louder. Daxter followed his example.
Both of them could of suffocated since it seemed like forever for the noise to pass. But when it did they both let out a breath of relief. Jak went to open the door but he found it was locked. He turned the knob and pushed against it but it was no use.
"Um Jak..." Daxter interrupted
"I know! I know!" Jak growled
Daxter jumped down and kicked the door. He howled in pain.
"Oww!"
Jak frowned in confusion, "Why did you do that for?"
"I thought it would have made me feel better. Stupid cheep old style door! It has a knob! Look Jak the door has a knob!"
"Daxter!"
"And you turned, yanked and pushed it! Ha ha ha!"
"You're sick you know that?" Jak growled
"No it's just that this room must be a real insignificant if this door has a knob for a handle. Its not automated like all the cool swishy doors! It reminds me of all the slum doors. They have door knobs," Daxter observed
"Can we get off the subject of knobs? I wonder what room is this?"
"I dunno. Maybe turning on the light might help" Daxter suggested sarcastically
Jak fumbled around and felt his way for a light switch. When he found one he flicked it. Instantly the room brightened and it revealed a small closet. It was full of brown boxes and dust. The light had even a light bulb that hung from the ceiling.
"Talk about out of date!" Daxter muttered
"There has to be something here to help us open the door"
"Well I can lock pick"
"Since when?"
"Since Keira kept a diary"
"You picked the lock on Keira's diary?"
"Yep. Wow you should see some of the juicy stuff in there Jak! Especially about you! She filled most of the pages about you and your eyes. If you ask me it's disgusting. Its a wonder she never asked you out"
"Can we get back on track?'" Jak shifted the subject being uncomfortable with the current, "What do you need for lock picking?"
"Something that is thin and metal. Something that can fit in the hole and I can fiddle easy"
"I told you to stop with the dirty jokes"
"I wasn't being dirty!" Daxter exclaimed innocently, "You're the one with the dirty mind"
"Ok ok! Lets look in these boxes"
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"No one looks in here... not for a long time! Look at this dust!"
"If this was Samos's house he'll make me clean it until it was squeaky clean. I'm glad I'm never seeing that windbag ever again!"
"AAACHHHOOO!" Jak sneezed
"Bless you"
"Thanks"
"I'm glad I don't have allergies"
"This box it filled with papers... half eaten"
"My box is filled with... toilet paper?" Daxter sounded surprised
"Toilet paper?" Jak repeated
"Well if you need to go... you can go..."
"That's disgusting"
"Maybe we can use it to dust some things here?"
"Up for spring cleaning are you? I thought you hate cleaning, especially for Samos" Jak teased
"No. I was suggesting it because with your sneezing you're going to give me a cold!" Daxter scowled
"Lets look in the other boxes"
"I feel stupid" Daxter muttered
"Why?"
"We're suppose to be blowing up weapons and where here looking through some dusty old boxes"
"Well if you want to get out of here..."
"I do! It's just a bit... ironic"
"Look lets find the stupid piece of metal and lets get out of here ok?"
"Fine"
"Wow more papers" Jak feigned his excitement, "Looks like its been breeding some cockroaches"
"Ewww! Ooh! A Baron doll!"
"A what?"
"A Baron doll, look!"
Daxter held up a figure in his hand that looked like Baron Praxis. He squeezed it and it squeaked and moved it arms, "Looks like it might have been a promotion toy when the Baron came into power"
"What?"
"What?"
"Are you a historian now?" Jak asked
"No. I just relaying some stories I've heard" Daxter said casually
"Where exactly have you been doing this past two years?"
"If you tell me yours I'll tell you mine!"
"Oh wow! Look more cockroach infested boxes..."
"Hey Jak look! Peanuts!"
"Peanuts?"
"Peanuts!"
"Wow how many are in that box?"
"I dunno but if we're stuck in here for a long time at least we won't starve"
"Great Dax, go get us some water and I'll set up the campfire using the toilet paper..."
"What?"
"I was being sarcastic"
"I know"
"Dax! Just look for you're freaking lock picking stuff ok?"
"Yes sir!" Daxter mock saluted
Jak groaned and opened another box.
"Great more papers! Why do I open dumb boxes and you get to open the more exciting ones?" Jak complained setting the box aside
"Junk... junk... junk... more junk" Daxter chucked stuff out of the box
"Bingo!" Jak exclaimed
"Was his name-o"
"What?"
"I was repeating a song. You know? Bingo? B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O. Bingo was his name-o..." Daxter trailed under Jak's glare
"I found your stuff" Jak pushed a box towards his friend
Daxter jumped up and rubbed his hands at the sight. He buried himself in the box chucking odds and ends out. Jak had to duck a few times to dodge a few airborne missiles of metal. It looked like old bits of junk like Zoomer or gun parts.
"Ahh! This should do!" Daxter pulled out a thin piece of metal that was held between his thumb and index finger.
"Good let's get out of here. I'm hungry"
"There are peanuts"
"I don't want peanuts! They're probably passed their use by date!"
"Whatever"
Daxter inserted the metal into the keyhole. He fiddled and jiggled it about, sticking his tongue out in concentration.
"All day Dax" Jak reminded him how long he was taking
"We've been together a few days and you're already sounding like me"
"So Mar help me"
More fiddling and five minutes passed by.
"I think Torn already sent someone else to blow up the weapons"
"Ok! Hold your freaking horses"
"Horses? What are horses?"
"You know... ah forget it! I almost got it.... uh oh"
"What do you mean 'uh oh'?"
"The metal broke"
"It broke?"
"It broke"
"Can't you fix it?"
"Half of it is inside the hole. I think the lock has rusted"
"So we're trapped in here"
"I'm afraid so"
"Just great"
"At least we have peanuts for food"
"Dax, if you think I'm staying here..."
"Just looking on the bright side of things Jak because you're the regular Mr. Sunshine..."
"So what now?"
"I dunno. You're the hero. You think of something!"
"Ok then. If this is such an old style door it should work on hinges. We can unscrew the hinges"
"Riiight but one problem Jak"
"What?"
"We have no screwdriver"
"Well there has to be one in here"
"Sure, you start in that cockroach infested box and I start off with the toilet paper"
"Daxter! Now look who's being pessimistic!"
"Fine. Lets keep looking through the boxes"
They rumbled through some more boxes in search for a screwdriver.
"Wow clothing!" Daxter exclaimed
"They're too old!"
"Shoe..." Daxter tossed it, "Glove... grey tunic..."
"I don't think there would be a screwdriver in there Dax"
Ignoring Jak and throwing things in turn, "Sock... eww, another glove, glasses... pants! A bit big but it I wash it and put if through the dryer it might shrink..."
"Daxter you're not serious?" Jak asked over hearing Daxter's musings
"I am actually"
"Daxter those clothing are musty and moth eaten! Come on we can get yours custom made!"
Daxter sighed and tossed the item, "I guess... Nothing interesting in there then"
"I could have told you that!"
"Hey! One man's junk is another Ottsel's treasure!"
"Whatever"
"Oh wow Jak! A limited edition Exploding Erol! How cool!"
"Exploding Erol?"
"Yeah. Some guy hated Erol so much he made an Exploding Erol doll. No ones heard from him since. Like he disappeared from the face of the planet!"
Jak took the replica off Daxter and inspected it, "How does it work?"
"Pull the string"
Jak pulled the string at the back.
The recording of Erol's voice echoed in the small room, "I Erol am the best of the Elite Krimzon Guard and promise to protect our leader Baron Praxis and protect the citizens of Haven City. Under the oath of Mar, founder of Haven City I swear this..."
Suddenly the head exploded making Jak jump. The both looked at the smoking black hole of the neck where the head use to be.
Jak smirked, "I see why people want the head to explode"
"Yeah it was recorded when Erol was promoted to Supreme Commander. All Supreme Commanders have to make that vow," Daxter informed
"He broke it" Jak muttered bitterly and threw it away
"Why do you think the head explodes?"
Jak smiled, "Lets keep going"
"Hey there's a screwdriver in the metal junk pile"
"Give it here"
Daxter gave Jak the screwdriver. Jak went over the door.
"Oh shit!"
"What?"
"Damn it!"
"What?!"
"Stupid cheep old doors!"
"What is it Jak!" Daxter growled growing impatient
"The hinges are on the outside"
"The hinges are ON THE OUTSIDE?!"
"Yeah"
Daxter swore colourfully.
"We're trapped in here! Forever! This is all your fault Jak!"
"My fault?"
"Yeah your fault! If you didn't decide to hide in here in the first place then we would be out there blowing stuff up!" Daxter ranted
"Its not my fault that the stupid Krimzon Guard were coming!" Jak said defensively
"Oh soooo sorry!" Daxter growled mockingly, "Lets blame it all on the Krimzon Guards!"
"Daxter you're not helping!"
"Neither are you!"
"Hey! I suggested the screwdriver!"
"It would have helped it the hinges were on the INSIDE!"
"It's not my fault that they don't know how to attach a door properly!" Jak growled defensively, "Anyway I wouldn't have to suggest it if you actually picked the lock!"
"Hey! The lock was rusty! It's not my fault it didn't work! So don't change the subject on me Jak. You're the one who got us in here in the first place!"
"You're so childish sometimes Dax"
"So what if I am?"
"So stop acting like a freaking child and get a attitude adjustment! I'm not a miracle worker! I can't pull something from my ass and make it work!"
Daxter who stared at Jak backed down, "Fine!"
Jak turned from the door and Daxter and tried to keep his anger in check. Last thing he wanted was his dark side to pop out and slash a hello. To bad he couldn't slash the door down. Metal isn't the easiest for claws. Jak glared at the headless Erol doll and kicked it.
Suddenly an idea came to him. Claws might go through but he knew what would.
Jak rushed to the box Daxter was occupying before and shifted through the junk. Daxter looked on in mild curiosity but still sulked in this corner. Jak pulled out what he was looking for.
"Ha ha! Come Dax we're going to get out of here" Jak hurried to the door
Daxter perked up in interest and saw Jak stuff something in between the door and the doorframe where the lock was suppose to be. It was an Exploding Erol doll. Daxter stared to smile as he caught on to what his friend was getting at.
Jak pulled the string and they both moved away from the door.
"I Erol am the best of the Elite Krimzon Guard and promise to protect our leader Baron Praxis and protect the citizens of Haven City. Under the oath of Mar, founder of Haven City I swear this..."
BOOM!
The headless doll fell to the floor. The lock shuddered. Jak sprang forward and turned the handle with ease. The door opened without troubles.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but... I owe Erol one" Jak shook his head
Daxter snorted, "Well I don't think Erol is going to take you up on that favor"
"Me neither. Come on! We've got some weapons to blow up!"
Daxter jumped on Jak's shoulder as Jak started to run down the hall to complete the mission.
The End
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Er, anyway you like it? Hate it? Just review it! Tell me what you think of this story! I always love to hear peoples opinion. It what makes us a free country...