Title: Protocols
Author: Brendan Storm
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Uh… (You know the drill, yadda yadda Don't own,
yadda yadda)
Archiving: Oh heck yes.
Badum Cha warning… This fic is played specifically for effect,
how it affects you is entirely dependant on how much Caffeine you've ingested
in a half hour period.
"Tim?" The cop uniform and the mask meant that
either Dick was late or tired. "What's
Zed Zed Triple Three?"
"Where'd
you get that"
"Bruce
had a little downtime and was defragging the crays, and we found a protocol
folder we'd never heard of. Care to
explain, little bro?"
"Uh…"
"Aw
come on, he had you input and memorize about twenty or thirty sets of
protocols. If I remember, Zed series is
apocalyptic stuff."
"Uh…"
"You're
being too quiet over there, Timbo."
"Uh…"
"Robin,"
the quiet growl of Batman's command voice echoed through the chamber. "Explain."
"What,"
Dick quipped, "did he go catatonic?"
Robin took over Tim's instincts, activating a connection to Oracle in
answer to Bruce's command.
"This
is Oracle, Go ahead."
"Zed
Zed Triple Three." Robin's voice
sounded a little hoarse.
"Oh
crap." Barbara Gordon's face appeared
on the main screen; Dick snickered at her bed head. "Bruce, I can explain everything."
"I
know all my protocols, Oracle, including the ones dealing with apocalyptic
situations. This one is not on the
list."
"I
know. Tim and I, we needed a training
protocol to run through the system."
She was almost apologetic. "Have
you read it?"
"No,
I was about to."
"Uh…"
Tim said.
"Ok,
this has to be good." Grayson finally
looked like the rookie officer Dick Grayson.
"Spill it, kid."
"Well,"
Tim said quietly. "We had to have
something to test the new system with, something that would require a test of
everything."
"Myxy?"
"No,
that's Zed Tango Oh Nine." Babs said.
"Killer
telepathic Poodles?" Dick asked helpfully.
Bruce
looked a little uncomfortable and said, "Zed T P D 190." Dick just stared at him.
"Ok, Dinah dating Ra's Al Ghul, then."
"Never
happen," Babs deadpanned.
"I
give. Spill already."
"Uh…"
Tim continued.
"Tim,
" Barbara had an evil glint in her eye.
"It's ok, you can tell him."
"Oh…
All right. We figured that the perfect
opportunity to completely test everything the computer can do is... well... is... if you ever took the night off
and relaxed."
"And,
the apocalyptic part is?" Dick asked,
fishing for the punch line.
"Well,
Hell would have to freeze, again, wouldn't it." Dick and Babs both began to snicker and Tim looked up at his
mentor with the most pitiful eyes.
Bruce took it in calmly.
"Noted."
End
