Light knew it would be an unusual day when he woke up to find L snuggling next to him, snoring softly in his ear. Apart from his immediate abhorrence to any form of physical human contact (filthy things!), he was startled by his 24-7 tenacious-as-a-guard-dog nemesis actually… not being so 24-7 anymore? Curiosity getting the better of him, he nudged L, who didn't respond, so Light gave him a rather sharp jab in the ribs. Waking up with a snort, L looked at Light as if he had gone mad.

"10% Kira now," he growled, warningly.

"Shove it up your ass, you freak! What's all this about?" retorted Light. With the pressure of finding the real Kira while being handcuffed to his worst critic for life, it was just too early in the morning for crap like this.

"What does it look like? I'm sleeping, Yagami-kun… it's a normal human function," came the cool reply.

"My point exactly," growled Light, angry at the front. "Why are YOU doing a normal human function? Since when do you sleep?"

L stared at him, shocked. "What an odd question…" he mused, thumbing his lower lip. Light gritted his teeth at the lack of information. Ryuzaki could be so infuriating sometimes.

Their staring standoff was interrupted by a knock at the door. L rose to open it. For a split-second, Light was surprised – there was something different about Ryuzaki… like he was taller? Then he realised – L was walking with absolutely perfect posture. He was startled out of his thoughts as the handcuff chain became taut, causing him to stumble in the general direction of the door.

"Good morning, Ryuzaki," said Watari courteously, and he moved to place the breakfast on the side table. Having a grimace on his face not aimed at anything in particular, Light looked at Watari, who seemed unfazed, and then at the food, mentally preparing himself to watch L stuff various sickly sweet foods into the black hole that was his mouth. He gasped as he realised there was carrot juice along with salad minus the dressing on the plate. L and Watari both looked at him with curiosity. Light glared at them, angry and distrustful, but their eyes widened. L and Watari glanced at each other, and then back at him. They really did look very… confused?

Watari cleared his throat. "I have prepared a new route for you today, Ryuzaki. Unfortunately, Misa will not be able to join both of you, as she has a prior commitment that she must attend, else she will appear on the 'missing persons' list."

"Thank you, Watari," replied L emotionlessly. Light choked. Since when did L appear so polite to his subordinates, no matter how much he actually respected them? Both L and Watari looked like they were trying to be polite by hiding their curiosity at this outburst.

Watari gave a slight bow. "If I can be of assistance, to EITHER of you, please don't hesitate to ask," he said, looking directly at Light, who returned the gaze with annoyance yet caution. Frowning at no object in particular, he waited while L slurped and crunched through his healthy breakfast (at least his messy eating habits hadn't changed).

Smacking his lips, L asked "Are you ready for our morning jog, Yagami-kun?" and then got up and walked to the door without waiting for an answer. Chuffing, Light rose and followed him, determined to annoy L regardless of what was happening.

They both greeted the other members of the team as they walked through the computer room where they discussed and had their meetings. "See you soon," said Light offhandedly, waving his hand and dismissing the others. Matsuda started giggling. Surprised, Light turned and stared at him. Seeing Light's confusion, Matsuda said "That's a good one, Light – 'soon'" and started laughing loudly. Not taking this as a good omen, Light followed L outside. They were all acting so normal, even though his world had been turned upside down! Was he really going insane? Snapping back to the present, he heard L smoothing out a map that Watari had given him. The entire city was on it, and there was a damn long line drawn on it which basically connected every major building in it. "Watari's done a good route today," observed L appreciatively. "Let's go!" With that, he took off in a sprint, giving Light only a second to dash after him if he wanted his arm still attached to his body.

"Stop, Ryuzaki," panted Light as he leaned on a wall on one of the busy streets. They had been running at full sprint for almost an hour now.

"You'll never maintain fitness with that attitude, Yagami-kun" reprimanded L, even though it looked like he was also close to his limit. Not wanting to waste precious oxygen by retorting verbally, Light just glared at him. At the moment, running at that speed and handcuffed to someone, he was surprised if someone DIDN'T stare at him. It took more energy and skill than it should, trying to follow L's path without slicing a hapless passer-by in half with the chain.

"Yagami-kun, shouldn't you be used to our jogs by now?"

"What do you mean?" spat out Light. "We've never gone for a jog before."

L stared at him, then chuckled. "I get it – you're joking. Yagami-kun is quite humourous." When Light's glare said that he WASN'T joking, L stared at him curiously. "Maybe Yagami-kun isn't feeling well."

Light growled in response. He had had enough of this. He was feeling light-headed from the jogging and heck, he could be as insane as he felt, if everyone involved in the Kira investigation was acting normally.

The nearby traffic lights changed, and they were suddenly immersed in a sea of people. Someone put something in Light's hand. In surprise, he looked up, but could only see a black-haired girl with a hat and sunglasses walking quickly away. In the confusion, he looked at his hand to see a note –

'My Dear Light, on L's request, the Kira team are acting strangely in order to get you to doubt your sanity and prompt a confession. I wouldn't go along with it, so they sent me away for the day. Love, Misa'

Light scrunched up the paper in his hand with a gleam of revenge in his eye.

"You're right, Ryuzaki – I need to push myself. Let's go!" With that, he took off, leaving L to do the difficult task of following whilst maintaining speed and also ensuring that no one's limbs get amputated.

After half an hour of strenuous sprinting, Light suggested that they stop in a nearby health food shop. L didn't refuse.

"What'll it be, hon?" said the smiling waitress. "I'll have a large bowl of salad, no dressing, and my friend here will have two large salads, a tall glass of wheatgrass juice, and whatever soup you have today. He needs to put on weight," said Light laughingly, noticing her surprise at the large order.

"Right you are, hon!" said the waitress, winking at L.

L was silent, in observation mode. Light contentedly surveyed the place, then noticed that the waitress was having trouble fitting the three large salads on her tray, so he got up to help retrieve them.

L looked at his salad suspiciously. "If I were to die, Light, there are enough people who would be able to connect it to you, even in this busy area."

Light laughed as if L had told a great joke. "Please. If I were Kira, I'd probably kill you through manipulating you into incapacitating someone who is protected by a third party you don't know about - not through some salad which actually makes you live longer."

Emotionlessly taking that in, L now gingerly picked up his fork. Both of them munched on the fare in front of them – Light ate at a moderate pace, but L liked to carefully inspect each leaf for bugs. Now finished with his meal, Light tried to content himself with hearing the chatter of the people around him. Unfortunately, they were mostly talking about fashion, boys and who was cheating on who. Disgusted, he turned his attention back to L who was steadily munching through his fare. From boredom and also the natural boyish competitiveness between them, he signaled the waitress over.

"I'll have the dishes to equal what my friend is eating here," he said. L looked up, observing him, still munching away in his finicky way.

"Sure thing, hon," she replied, smiling.

On the outside, the two boys looked like long-time companions who shared the same tastes, but on closer inspection, the competitive gleams in their eyes said otherwise. They both forced down the last few bites of their meal, neither one wanting to show their discomfort.

"Let's jog back now, Yagami-kun," said L coolly.

"Sure, let's go!" replied Light with faux humour.

It soon became apparent that the large amount of undigested food in his stomach was quite an inhibition. Queasy and tired, Light came to rest inside a deserted alley. With one large wave of nausea, Light emptied the contents of his stomach into a dustbin, realising only a split-second later that L was doing the same. After dry-heaving for a bit, Light wiped his mouth and came upright again. L was giving him an annoyed, knowing look, accepting that the jig was up.

"I threw up more than you did, Yagami-kun."

"Shut up."

END

A/N: My entry for die-l-die (on deviantART) fanfiction contest - make L suffer in some way! Originally published 2008.

(I think Light is OOC - he wouldn't resort to profanity (as well as L) but some wise person said - OOCiness is the spice of fanfiction life

Death Note (c) Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata