DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight.
A/N: I know I have been sketchy at updating in the past, but I hope to be quicker now that I am writing shorter chapters.
SUMMARY: Bella does not like Edward's Edwardian attitude about sex, and wants him to act like a normal teenage boy. Can she and Alice do it? Can they make Edward lose control? With the help of the Sex diary Renee made Bella write, what plans will Alice concoct?
It was Friday night once again, and I was frustrated. You know that myth about all teenage boys being obsessed with sex? That one all of us girls believe must be true because we've never seen or heard of an exception to that rule existing before in our lives? Yeah, that rumor, is actually a myth.
This I contemplated very deeply while scowling into my now almost empty closet. Edward wanted to take me out to dinner at some sort of frilly french restaurant, never even mind the fact that he can't eat. He's not even considering that I might not want to play tea party with him.
In some ways, he is very much like Alice.
"He can't be that unwilling, Bella. Even without my visions I could tell you that for sure." Alice said from the other side of my room. She was perched on the bed, where over 9/10ths of my closet currently sat on display for her appraisal. Alice may have been fulfilling her BFF duties of listening to me whine about Edward's prudishness, but she also had an annoying tendency to figure out my motives and deceptions when I least wanted her to.
Yes, Alice and Edward have something in common there too. Annoyingly good observers, vampires.
I scowled and muttered a bunch of garbled complaints to myself about a certain frigid vampire who was making me doubt that he wasn't literally his age as far as his sex drive went. I must have mumbled something to this effect out loud, as Alice chose that moment to fall off the bed laughing at my ridiculous choice of spurning Edwards propriety because of his "advanced years". Okay, maybe I did actually say that, but it was not intentional. Maybe it was. Alice doesn't know which.
"You know, Bella," Alice said between her unnecessary gasps of laughter, "Maybe if you asked him if that was the reason, you would have more luck getting him to act like an adolescent male!" She then burst into another round of squealing laughter.
I just rolled my eyes.
Once Alice got her laughter under control, she got back up onto the bed, smiling as if she had just figured out the most obvious answer in the world to my current problem.
"I know you just think I'm being insecure, but Alice, that has got to be one of the most ridiculous suggestions I have ever heard. Maybe I should be asking Jessica and Lauren for advice on this if you're going to give ridiculous suggestions like that."
I walked back over to the bed next to where she was sitting and threw myself onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling hopelessly.
"Famous last words, Bella. I'm going to go shopping to get your dress for Friday." She flounced over to the door, but before leaving, she turned back and said, "if what I see you doing next doesn't work, I have a last resort. No Pressure! Bye!" And then she just ran out. Boy was I in trouble.
I should have the next chapter up soon, especially since I already know what's going to happen next. Serenissime to you all!