Disclaimer: Don't own them.

Warning: Language. And slight-Cameron bashing, though I totally didn't intend to.

What Could Have Been

2x03 Humpty Dumpty

Can you help me? I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together.

Lisa Cuddy began packing up her things to head home from her office. It'd been a long day.

Alfredo would be fine, she kept telling herself. The hospital would lose a lot of money, but it wouldn't go to waste.

She just wished that Alfredo had time to fix that damn roof before falling off of it. Now, she'd have to think of him every time she saw it. And, it was already raining.

She stacked her papers neatly on her desk, getting ready to slide them into her briefcase.

The clunk! of wood on wood caught her attention. House stood at her doorway.

She wrinkled her forehead. "How long have you been standing there?" Usually, she heard him from down the hall...

"Long enough to catch Chase leaving with a hard-on. I think he likes you." He hobbled forward. "Still feeling guilty?"

"No." She smiled, trying her hardest to seem truthful.

"Even after my incredibly motivating speech?" He placed a hand to his heart, pretending to be shocked. "You realize I actually said you were good at your job?"

"That doesn't help Alfredo," She shook her head, promising herself that she would visit him at least once a month. "Maybe I should make them dinner sometimes," she thought out loud.

"Seriously, Cuddy." House collapsed on her couch. "You don't even have time to cook dinner for yourself."

"I'll make time." She zipped her briefcase up and let it lean against her desk. "What do you want?" He'd already yelled at her, made her feel like crap, and then semi-apologized. What else was there to do?

He patted down on the seat next to him. "Pop a squat."

That was weird. Maybe he actually wanted to talk. She doubted it, but sat down anyway. "What?"

He put an arm around her, and let the fingertips on his other hands graze her thigh. "I was wondering..."

Crap. What was he doing? Surely, he wasn't asking her out. Maybe Cameron hadn't been so off base the other day at Alfredo's house. She swallowed loudly.

"...what kind of underwear you were wearing." He grinned at her.

That smacked the curious expression off her face. "Excuse me?" She took a deep breath, scared and amazed. The thing was, she wasn't wearing any underwear. She hadn't had time to go back to her house and change. She had a spare outfit at work, just in case, but no underwear. And the other pair she'd been wearing before had started to smell.

"You heard me," he said. "I just wanted to check, because I know you have a pair of red panties. I wanted to show Chase and Foreman today, but they weren't in your drawer. Or your laundry. Or your other drawer. So you must have them on, right?"

Oh, that entire story was complete bullshit and he knew it. She played along, not allowing him to trick her. "Oh, no. I'm currently wearing the crotchless white lacy panties. But I think I left my red thong in Wilson's office. He probably still has it, if you really want a look."

"Not funny." He frowned, and his fingers tightened around her shoulder. She'd forgotten that he was still touching her. "You know those are my favorites. How dare you share them with someone else?"

"They're not yours." She hit his chest playfully, unconsciously turning more fully towards him. "They're my panties."

He grumbled for a second, and then removed his arm from her.

She missed it and shifted towards him so their legs could touch. She liked touching him. Despite his injury, he was still strong and masculine to her. Just smelling his scent, so close, she wanted to run her lips over the lengthy stubble on his jaw.

His eyes lit up. "Hey." He angled his body toward her. "Do you want to win a million dollars?"

"Can I give it to the hospital?" Stupid question. He wasn't actually going to give her a million dollars no matter what.

"I don't care." He laughed. "I'll give you a million dollars if you never wear panties again."

She looked down and wondered if he could see through her skirt. "Do you have some kind of x-ray vision, or do you just sense it?" She asked him, honestly.

House shook his head, a bit of a smile giving him away. "I have no idea what you are talking about. How does that pertain to the million dollars?"

"It doesn't." She stood, turning around in front of him. "I don't want it."

"You're tricky," he observed. "How about a million dollars if you take off those crotchless tighty-whitey's right now?"

Cuddy gritted her teeth. He obviously knew she was lying. "Don't want to. I'm on my period. It's not pretty."

"No, you're not." He rolled his eyes. "I'd be able to smell you." With that, he grabbed the back of her thighs and pulled her forward. His nose buried into her crotch and he inhaled deeply. "Nope. Nothing but the sweet scent of arousal."

Damn it. Being in a skirt without panties was almost just as revealing of arousal as tight jeans on men. "Well, Chase did just go down on me, so...I'm still pretty hot." She fanned herself.

"He would and you most certainly are." House was still enjoying the view, his fingers occasionally clenching against the skin of her legs. "Chase and Wilson? All in one day? You're a busy girl."

"Jealous?" She hinted.

"Yes." He looked up at her. "Unless you're meeting Cameron later tonight. That's be okay with me."

"Wait a minute." She backed away and his hands dropped from her legs. "Did you say something to her?"

"About you two possibly hooking up?" His mouth dropped open and his eyes danced in excitement. "No, but I will!"

She sat down again. "No, about us. In Michigan. She was way too curious today."

He leaned back, moving his face closer to hers. "Why? What did she say?"

Was he actually worried? Cuddy frowned at the possibility of House and Cameron being more than co-workers. Cameron had seemed a little envious, and Cuddy knew something had happened between the two of them. But Cameron wasn't even close to House's type- which was Stacy. "She just asked why I haven't fired you. And then implied that it was because I had feelings for you."

"Interesting." House stroked his chin.

That was not the reaction she expected. He should be sticking his tongue at her, mocking her "feelings".

She waited and he raised an eyebrow. "Did she say feelings? Or did she say 'screwing'?"

Cuddy hadn't really thought about it at the time, instead focusing on denying it with everything she had in her. "I don't know. Both." When it came to House, Cuddy herself wasn't really sure where to draw the line either.

"I talked to Chase today. He preferred the term, 'nasty'. Although his reasoning was a little bit different." House stared at the corner of her room, thinking.

"What did he say?" She sat up on her knees, clawing at his shoulder. If the hospital was gossiping about her, she wanted to know it.

House's eyes traveled to her fingers on his shirt. "He said that we're too awful to each other not to be fucking our brains out."

Something about the way he spoke made her breath hitch, and her grip softened on him. "I don't think we're awful to each other."

"Yeah," House drawled sarcastically. "Don't know where he got that idea. We never yell or make each other's job ten times harder than it should be."

"Sorry." She dropped away from him, crossing her arms bitterly.

"Not that I don't like it." He said, almost instantly, causing her to look back up. "Maybe we should be completely nice to each other, and throw everyone off."

She laughed. "That would be hilarious. I don't think we could do it."

"Yeah." House folded his hands and shook his head.

Cuddy swung her legs back up on the couch, bending them at the knee. "What else did Chase say?"

"Nothing," He paused. "Actually, he was excited at the prospect of you having a shrine dedicated to him in your underwear drawer."

"I don't even want to know." Cuddy wondered how the fellows would even come up with the idea of House and her together. It was even stranger that they asked about it at the same time. Cuddy and House hadn't been extra flirtarious lately, or even extra angry. "Do you think Wilson planted this idea in their heads?"

"Probably." He placed a hand on her knee suggestively. "I suppose they can't identify your special smell as well as I can, after all these years of practice."

"I bet they notice the hard-on's." She smirked.

"No, those are just for Cameron," he blurted out.

She shrugged away from his hand. "So, you two...?" She looked up at him.

"That was just-" He tried to explain.

"It's okay." She hated that every time they got close to having an actual conversation about their relationship, they blew it. Bad timing on both their parts. But it was probably just an idealistic situation that she used to make herself feel better about her lack of social life outside the hospital. "I know you went out on a date before. You just don't talk about her like that."

He was quiet, for once, and it frightened Cuddy. Had she struck a nerve? "I mean, you don't talk to me. We're friends, right?" To be fair, she didn't really mention any of her dates to him, but she was sort of nervous of what he'd do. If he was with Cameron, she would try to act the same. No special treatment.

"I don't put labels on relationships," he said. "I guess you could say that I occasionally seek out your companionship, more often than not, your permission, and never your medical advice." He smiled.

It made her smile too, but he was avoiding the question. "Are you sleeping with her?"

He held his arms out and shrugged. "Why does it matter?"

Oh, God. He was. She needed to leave.

Just as she looked towards her briefcase, he spoke again. "You don't like my answer."

"That wasn't an answer," she snapped. So much for acting the same.

"I'm not sleeping with her." He admitted, before she could cry or yell or hit him again. "So don't get your panties all in a bunch. Oh, wait. You're not wearing any!"

"I knew it!" She pointed at him, relief flooding to her face. It made her so happy that she could just kiss him. She held back, though.

"Damn. I ruined it. I was going to make you show me." He placed his hand between her legs at the edge of her skirt. "You still can, if you want to."

"Sure thing. As soon as you tell me why this Cameron thing has your panties all in a bunch." She hoped that he couldn't feel the heat radiating from her, and placed her hand under his, kind of holding it and shielding her privates at the same time.

He pressed against her. "I will. If you let me ask you a question in return, no matter how insanely appropriate. And you have to answer truthfully."

"Okay." She'd already heard all of this inappropriate questions. She'd never really done anything she'd been embarrassed about, sexually. So there would be no blackmail information swap tonight. Not that she'd tell anyone what he said to her. She really wanted to be friends with him, if nothing else.

His long fingers inched up her thigh as he spoke. "Cameron likes me. In a love kind of way. We went on a date. It was nice. No sex," he assured. At the end of every short sentence, he pressed a little further. She didn't seem to notice, her eyes widened at what he was sharing. "I like her, as a person. Wouldn't kick her out of bed, either."

Cuddy's skirt had ridden up so far that her fingers were nearly touching herself, still blocking House's hand. She realized this. "Stop," she said.

House ignored her. "But I'm not going to see her again. Not unless I'm sixty and she's twenty and we're still not married." He smiled at his joke as his fingers swiped against hers, wanting to actually feel her liquid heat, rather than just the steam coming off her body.

"Why not?" Cuddy asked, thinking she had total control of her body.

"I'm not exactly good at that sort of thing, Cuddy." He said, partly to explain, partly to warn Cuddy herself. "I don't want to lose a perfectly good fellow just because I'm an asshole."

She knew that he cared. "So, if you had the choice, you'd want to be with her?" She was an idiot, asking these questions. But she needed to make sure before she let herself feel for him.

He clenched his teeth, and stared at her, hard and lustful. "My hand is up your skirt, you're insanely wet, and I'm halfway hard. I'm not talking about Cameron anymore."

"Okay." She moved her hand, allowing him to cup her, and pulled his face down to hers. She fused their lips together urgently and slid a leg around his hip.

"Careful," he said against her lips.

"Sorry." She moved her feet so her the heel of her shoe wasn't digging into his bad thigh.

He reached into his pocket and swallowed a couple Vicodin.

It gave her time to think properly. In between breaths, she asked, "What was your question?"

"I wanted to know if you recently told Wilson about what happened at Michigan. It's not really relevant anymore..." He bent over to kiss him again.

She sucked on his upper lip and then broke away. "Why not?"

"Because we're having sex in your office."

She pushed back. He really shouldn't have said it out loud. "Oh, crap. I can't do this. Not in my office." All the blinds were shut, but the door was wide open. Though it was late, and no one expected her to be here, anyone could have walked in. "Not professional."

"Fucking tease," he called her, only slightly joking.

"Hey!" She snapped at him. "Why did you want to know if I told Wilson?"

He laced his fingers behind her back, not letting her move away. "Because I did," he whispered into her ear. "I didn't think he'd actually believe me."

This was not a disaster, she reminded herself. "We'll just have to deny everything." She looked down at his shirt. Just the top button was opened, showing the tiniest bit of chest hair. Not really self-conscious anymore, she kissed that little bit of skin, licking it and biting it all she wanted.

"So it's okay for me to fuck Cameron, but not you?" He asked, offended. "You can't be embarrassed," he said out of self-protection. "I'm the hottest stud in the county."

"Yeah, but you're also a jackass who can't follow orders," she defended. "Right now, I can tell everyone I hired you because you're the best doctor I know. But if they knew we were sleeping together, I'd be accused of favoring those who can bring me to multiple orgasms."

"Oh, you know it, babe."

They both made a face.

"Don't ever call me that again," she requested of him.

"Wasn't going to."

She stood up, and stared at him. Though she'd felt his erection before, it was much more blantantly obvious without her on his lap. "I have-"

Cuddy was interrupted by a curious voice outside her door. "Why is the light...?" Stacy walked in. "Oh. Cuddy. House." Her voice sounded suspicious. Her eyes trailed down to House's crotch. "HOUSE. What are you..." She regained control and hid her surprise. "Oh, Cuddy. You poor thing. I told you to file those sexual harassment complaints."

"Stace." House joked. "You know I don't get big and hard for just anyone."

"Yes, you do." She rolled her eyes. "How are the hookers these days? Is that one on fourth and main still your favorite?"

Cuddy crossed her arms, not wanting to get involved in the power battle between Stacy and House. Maybe it was a good thing that Stacy came in and stopped them. Stacy's presence brought her back to reality. She'd almost forgotten about all the hookers.

House saw Cuddy thinking, and was not happy about it. "Cuddy!" He pointed to pants, not stretching so tightly anymore. "Look what she did. Get back over here."

She walked back to him, ignoring the stunned look on Stacy's face.

House grabbed her ass under her skirt, though Stacy couldn't really tell otherwise. His eyes shut and he moaned. "That's better."

"Really, Cuddy?"

Cuddy had to look at her now.

Stacy's stare was awful, condescending. It was weird, for someone that Cuddy called a friend. Cuddy supposed she broke "girl code", fooling around with Stacy's ex, but she reasoned that Stacy was already married, so girl code didn't apply. "You know what he does. He'll make you feel like you've saved him, and then he'll go right back, plunging back down to the depths of despair. Which includes other women."

"Yeah, I know." She ran her fingers through House's hair. "I don't want to leave, though." Like Stacy did, but Cuddy didn't have the courage to say that out loud. Stacy was right, but she was also missing the most important part about love: accepting each other in spite of their faults. Cuddy wasn't going to change House, but she wanted to make him happy.

"Wilson was right." Stacy couldn't take her eyes off the two of them, and it was making Cuddy kind of mad.

House squeezed her leg extra hard. "We knew it was Wilson!" He turned his head and spoke to Cuddy, "He was always trying to fix us up."

"I'll be sure to thank him," Stacy looked down.

House's hand dropped. Cuddy spoke for the both of them, "We don't want to hurt you. But you're married."

"We are going to have a long talk about this," Stacy addressed Cuddy. "And Greg, I know we're never going to talk about this. So I'm just going to say that you're going to hurt her and she doesn't deserve that."

House hesitated. "You know what, Stacy? I'd rather come on Cuddy's couch than in my pants, so could you just leave?"

Stacy always got to him, Cuddy knew. And he had to say something smart-alecky back.

Stacy stepped out the door, but not without a last word. "Don't put your mouth on it, Cuddy. You don't know where that thing's been."

Cuddy almost shouted after her, telling her that they weren't actually going to have sex in her office. But Stacy was already gone and she didn't feel like yelling that into the hallway full of night-shift nurses. She shut the door behind her and sighed.

House was massaging his leg with one hand, his dick with the other. "She just makes me so-"

"Please don't say horny," Cuddy prayed out loud.

House stood up, crossing over to her in a few steps. "Say horny again."

"No," her cheeks reddened.

"Say, 'House, you make me so horny,'" he begged of her, being sure to press into her hip.

Cuddy blushed harder. "No!"

"It's so sexy." She knew he was really aroused, from his darkened eyes and rigid stance. "Everyone was asking about us having sex today. All day long. It was all I thought about."

She found herself thinking about him more than usual too. But... "I can't have sex here."

"Too bad." He wasn't giving up.

"Wait." She pushed on his chest. "I was saying earlier, before we were interrupted, that I have a leaky roof at home. If you could come over and 'check it out' for me, that would be fantastic."

"I don't know..." He teased. "Is the leaky roof making you- I mean, your house- really, really wet?"

"Shut up, House."

A/N: I said I was going to write it, and I did. RECORD TIME too.

Oh boy, I am really high right now. On Vicodin, ironically. It's prescription. Don't worry. I had my wisdom teeth taken out and I don't feel annnything.

But, weirdly enough, my fingers move really fast. Although I am seeing double right now.

That is why this chapter is a little bit on drugs. I just re-read it and I know some things don't make sense. Especially at the end, where innuendos are coming out of nowhere and everyone is hot for each other. It's like: sexxxxx!

Hopefully next chapter will be different. I should be a little more sober. Maybe not because I feel FANTASTIC. I highly recommend this to everyone.

If I made no spelling mistakes while high, I rock. Review, please. I'll write more 'cause this was hella fun.