Disclaimer: I in no way, shape or form own Fallout 3, nor do I make any profit off of it. This particular character, and his game and two add on packs worth of adventures, on the on the other hand, is mine.
While the threat of nuclear war should always be taken seriously, most of the things in this collection should not. Enjoy.
"…and here it is. On behalf of the treeminders, who tend and cater to His will, and the Great One Himself, I welcome you to Oasis."
The Lone Wanderer, who also went by the name Kirikkale Velestra (or simply Kiri) scarcely heard him. For all he cared, Tree Father Birch could have been pontificating on the delicate art of teaching molerats to play Euchre on hand drawn cards; it couldn't have mattered less.
It was a place of utmost beauty, green canopies throwing spindly shadows onto spongy, soft ground that could be trodden on without the barest trace of radiated dust being kicked up. The air was fresh, clean, oxygenated, and even the pools of water that scent his Geiger counter ticking were crystalline. More than anything, there was a quiet peace to the grove that said it was seldom touched by raider gunfire, if not completely free from it.
Falling on the senses of someone who had witnessed little but bloodshed and lifeless earth since stepping out of the vault and into the sun, it was almost medicinal. That being the case, no one could truly fault Kiri for being awestruck.
Gaping with his jaw half open, on the other hand...
"My God. Three Dog was right. You've got real trees here!"
Birch cleared his throat awkwardly, with the slightest trace of impatience. "Yes…you've said that several times already. But Outsider, the issue at hand…"
"Issue…oh." The blue-eyed, sandy haired young man in the Regulator duster finally snapped to attention, shifting on his wooden seat as he nodded. "Right. Right."
"And your decision?"
Kiri blinked. A few seconds ticked by.
Birch closed his eyes, as if seeking patience from the deity he had mentioned one too many times since the wanderer appeared at the gates.
Somewhere close by, a bird chirped.
"But…sorry, what was that again?"
"The Great One," Birch repeated in a strained sort of voice, taking pains to enunciate his words. "A living, breathing tree. He has expressed a specific desire to meet you. Will you consent?"
"Oh," said Kiri for the second time. "Of course. Yeah, definitely."
"Wonderful." The relief in Birch's tone was evident, and comparable only to merchants who had finally succeeded in hauling especially stubborn Brahmin in out of the hills to be sheltered. "Now, before you can meet with Him, you must undergo the ritual of Purification. You will drink from this basin—" he indicated said basin, sitting to their left—"which will cleanse your body of any impurities that may do Him harm."
Kiri glanced at the thick, viscous liquid, which it would seem had small bits of wood and plant material still floating in it. At the words "cleanse" and "impurities", he couldn't help but be reminded bitterly of the detox treatments he had taken for his occasional buffout addictions—long, long nights spent bent camped out on the bathroom floor, trying not to guess which orifice the impurities in question would choose to exit out of and sweating profusely in between.
"Do I have to?"
"Yes," said Birch. "You have to." Perhaps he picked up on the skepticism in Kiri's eyes, for he went on, "I promise it will not harm you."
After a moment of indecision, Kiri nodded. "All right."
"Excellent. Make yourself comfortable, and I'll go gather the other treeminders for the ritual. I'll only be a minute."
After the old man had left, the wanderer reached down near his feet and patted the head of a scraggly gray dog which had been sleeping unobtrusively until this point. It groaned, but gave a single thump of its tail. He spoke softly to it, enthusiasm apparent in his voice even with the unknown ritual looming just around the corner.
"Isn't this place amazing, Blood?"
The dog (renamed since the day Kiri had found him in the scrap yard with a tag reading "Dogmeat" around his neck and promptly declared the name "stupid") snorted in response.
"I know you don't trust people, Blood. But these people seem pretty friendly, and they can't be all bad if they manage to…stop growling at me! Yes, I remember Andale, but…no, I don't need you to look after me!"
The dog closed his eyes again, huffing a snorty sigh of irritation. Kiri was considering whether or not to press the point with him, as well as the possibility of getting up and briefly exploring some, when Tree Father Birch returned with a group of similarly dressed folks—treeminders, he guessed. They formed a circle around the sap basin and the wanderer that was not at all comforting. Blood raised his head from his paws, ears pulled back just the slightest.
"If you'll just drink deeply of the sap, the ritual can begin."
Kiri stared down into the murky goo and noticed for the first time that there was a small wooden ladle hanging off the side of the basin. Taking a deep breath, he dipped it into the sap, which came away in great, sticky strands, and drank. He had to fight it down his throat, worrying at it with his tongue to stop it from sticking to his teeth, until every drop had made its way to his stomach.
The moment it was there, he realized this was no detox injection.
A warm buzzing sensation was spreading out from his stomach into his limbs, up into his head, making his vision shimmer and shine around the edges. His legs felt so thick and heavy that he worried he would stumble, leaning forward onto the rim of the basin for support. Somewhere around him, he could hear the Treeminders speaking, each word perfectly clear in his ears, while at the same time sliding over his entire body like a lick from a vast, invisible tongue, and underneath it all he could hear the sound of Blood growling.
He wasn't sure if it was frightening or pleasant, if his senses were being heightened or slowed down. Through dilated eyes he looked frantically from one treeminder to the next, head swimming with each small motion of turning it, time rolling out slowly, like a boiling kettle. Kiri barely even realized when they were finished, only that he was suddenly aware of Birch's voice coming at him.
"Soon, Outsider, you will pass peacefully into sleep. And when you awaken, you will behold his glory."
"No…"
But he was already shutting down. He brought his hand up to lay against his own forehead, an act that seemed to take up simultaneously all his strength and several years. Aware of his knees hitting the ground, the world went white—and then Birch's words proved truthful. Kirikkale passed into a more peaceful sleep than he could ever remember.
**************************
Something was digging painfully into his cheek.
He felt warm. Amazingly pleasant, actually…like he used to back in his bed, wrapped up in two blankets, at home in the vault; like he did when Veyers stopped in during his travels and could be persuaded to spend the night.
But he was not in the vault, his house, or any bed to speak of. Even before he opened his eyes, it was painfully clear that he was on the ground. The sound of Blood whimpering came from the area just above his head, which meant…
The light assaulted his eyes as he forced them open, and his weary body protested his next action of sitting up. He wiped his cheek and spat—he had been breathing in dirt. The dog licked his cheek.
"Blood? What happened?"
Another whimper. Kiri looked around, finding himself not in Oasis but the middle of the wasteland. The sun beat down on him harshly; it was amazing he hadn't been found by Radscorpions. Shaking his head to clear his mind of the drug, the wanderer patted his dog, finding a sense of normalcy there.
"I'm fine, buddy. But I still don't…oh…oh no, come on…"
He patted down his pockets, his supply sack. The groan he gave echoed throughout the empty wasteland.
"Awwww, they robbed me!"
A/N: This scenario was the first thing to come to my mind after the "ritual" in the Oasis quest, and refused to leave me alone until I'd written it.
Me being an utter asshole, I would have put it in the game too, if I'd had any power over it. Be glad I don't.