It was a dark and stormy night the day the hippopotamus fell from the sky. At first I didn't know how to react for I am only a middle school girl from a SHAFT anime, so I simply cocked my head as if compelled by some other worldly forces, most likely a writer or something stupid. Anyway, after he appeared and he began to rampage through the streets so I decided to call my home girl Rebecca Black. I was like
"Yo, It's Homura Akemi, the super intense yandere from the party last week."
She replied in a sarcastic tone, "Oh that Homura, the other one way too busy making out with a chandelier…"
"Oh yeah that Homura." I blushed at the fact that I was able to to trick her before deciding to bring up the issue that was occupying my attention. "Anyway there's a hippopotamus destroying the town and stuff. I decided to not tell her that I was secretly a magic cat maid, because I didn't want her to get too excited.
"Oh a hippo, huh?" was her reply.
"Yeah" I said.
She said, "Well I have just the thing for this situation. Let me call up my friend Shinji, he finally got a car he calls an Eva or something. Not bad for a 14 year old."
I blinked in surprise, Shinji was the ridiculously hot guy I read about on the internet.
Within moments he appeared, and stepped out of the car. It was then that I noticed he wasn't wearing any clothes. I tried to avert my eyes but his nipples were glowing so excellently I had to stare. He decided to whip out his screw driver. He pointed it at the hippo and also put on some sunglasses. I can only venture to guess where he pulled it from. In fact…hmmm
He said, "Nudist Beach Jerk" and blew it up.