Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Mondo Media does.
Note: This is where my OC is formally introduced. It also is a little bit Flippy/Flaky, so if you don't like this couple, don't read it! Or pretend like it's not happening! While I think the couple is cute, there is NO WAY IN HELL it would work, but it doesn't hurt to dream. XD
On A Hot Tin Roof
Starring: Flippy, Flaky, and ??? ???
Featuring: The Mole, Lumpy, Russell, Handy, Lifty, Shifty, Cuddles, Toothy, Nutty, Giggles, Disco Bear, Cro-Marmot, Sniffles, Splendid, Mime, Pop, Cub, and Petunia
It was a sunny day in the Happy Tree City as a taxi pulled up to a sidewalk. Inside, Cuddles happily placed the taxi in park and looked back at his passenger for his pay. He smiled as he held out his hand to receive money.
The passenger, dressed in a black zoot suit (complete with felt hat and watch chain), only looked at Cuddles's hand and replied with a "Humph." He then raised his right hand, and extended claws on his fingers. He then sliced at Cuddles's smiling face.
Cuddles's face now slid off in several parts, each like a pancake, and each landed in his awaiting hand.
The passenger purred in satisfaction, grabbed his briefcase, and stepped out of the vehicle. As he walked by several Generic Tree Friends, he took out a photograph from his right pocket. A tear welled up in his eye as he looked at an old picture of himself and his beloved uncle, the late Tiger General (Anyone whose seen Flippy's Ka-Pow episode will know who this is).
Replacing the picture in his pocket, he took out another one, this one was a picture of a green bear in a military beret. The gray tabby cat grew angry at the photograph, and ripped it in two.
In his mind, The Cat recalled a memory of his uncle from long ago. His uncle trained him in the use of firearms and hand-to-hand combat daily. The Cat embraced all of his training, it hardened him into someone who didn't care who lived and who died. Things were happy with his uncle, until that fateful day that Flippy fought the Tiger General to the death. All the while, The Cat was nearby, (his uncle sent him to get a pizza), and watched as Flippy killed the General. After that, The Cat turned to a life of denial and self-inflicted pain. As more memories flashed through his head, he smiled evilly while dwelling on his paid assassin days after his denial stage. The Cat would kill anyone he saw fit. He instantly remembered one job in particular, where he entered in on a nice beaver family eating dinner. Since the father had not paid a mob, that mob hired The Cat to take care of the family.
The Cat licked his lips as he remembered tearing off the father's arms and shoving them down his throat, splashing blood all over The Cat's face. He then stabbed the mother through the chest with a common kitchen knife. He then used his claws and sliced open her stomach, spilling her innards. He then tortured their young child to death by slowly carving her face off with his claws. After the job was done, he placed an explosive in the house to cover up the crime, and left, licking himself clean of the blood.
Back in the present, The Cat smiled evilly as he still remembered the succulent screams of each of his victims over the years, some killed in more conventional ways, (he had killed many patrons in a bar with two machine guns; or when he killed an old homeless badger with a flamethrower) others in stranger ways (such as the beaver family). Being an overpaid assassin was satisfying work, although all The Cat killed could not bring back his uncle. Until one day, passing a certain news stand, he noticed a familiar picture of a green bear on the cover of a newspaper and he immediately grew angry with vengeance. After discovering where his nemesis lived, The Cat now came closer to his ultimate goal.
"Mmmmmroaw" The Cat purred as he walked down the street towards Flippy's house.
Inside Flippy's house, Flippy was happily watching TV. As he watched, he accidently hit the remote sitting next to him, changing the channel to a war movie. Flippy began to hyperventilate as he heard the guns firing and saw the soldiers on the movie dying. Flippy started to flip out, but was brought out of his trance by the ringing of his doorbell. Flippy quickly turned off the TV and opened the front door.
Standing at his front door was Petunia in a girl scout uniform, selling cookies. Before she could say anything, Flippy smiled as he waved in the background to Flaky, who was nervously delivering papers on her bicycle. Flaky tried to wave back, but lost control of her bike and plowed into Flippy's mailbox, knocking it over.
Flippy and Petunia ran over to see if she was okay. Flaky was helped on her feet by Flippy, and she shook her head to wear off any whoozyness.
"Aw," Flaky said as she saw her bike was now trashed.
Now approaching Flippy's house, The Cat spied his target near a mailbox. He laughed quietly as he pressed a button on the side of his briefcase and out popped a flat throwing knife. Drawing it and taking aim, The Cat threw his weapon.
Back at the mailbox, Flippy bent over to put his mailbox back up, narrowly missing the throwing knife. He came back up and placed the mailbox back in its spot. Next to him, Flaky gasped and screamed.
Flippy looked behind him to see that the knife intended for him had pierced Petunia between the eyes. She fell on the ground, dead, as Flaky covered her face in fear. Flippy looked around to see where the weapon could have come from. He spied a cat in a zoot suit nearby, arm out as if he'd thrown something.
The Cat growled in anger at his failure and decided to switch to more conventional methods. Opening his briefcase, he withdrew a Sten submachine gun, cocked it, and aimed directly at Flippy.
Flippy gasped, grabbed Flaky's arm, and drug her into his house, narrowly avoiding the machine gun fire. The Cat slowly began to follow them, only stopping at Petunia's dead body, where he withdrew his knife and licked it clean of blood.
Inside, Flippy knew he had to change into Evil Flippy to beat this madman, so he quickly turned on the TV to see scenes from the war movie. Flippy was ready, but only said, "Huh?" as he saw the closing credits of the movie were playing. He gasped as his door rattled from The Cat trying to break in. Flaky screamed again as Flippy covered her mouth and told her, "Shh!" He then ushered her to follow him.
Outside, The Cat checked his ammo and got ready to enter the house. Waiting until the time was right, he kicked the door in and sprayed bullets throughout the room. The Cat stopped firing and entered with a confident smile that he had defeated his enemy. Looking around, he didn't see Flippy's body anywhere and asked out loud, "Mow?" He then heard an engine revving and ran back outside. From inside the garage, Flippy's humvee broke out and revved away. In an attempt to stop them, The Cat once again fired his Sten to no avail.
Growling again, The Cat saw another vehicle headed towards him. Pointing his gun at the driver, Toothy, he got in the passenger seat and pointed at the humvee with a "Meow!" Toothy drove after Flippy and Flaky, while The Cat looked through his supplies in his briefcase.
"Mow MOW!" yelled The Cat, commanding Toothy to drive alongside the humvee. He then rolled down the window and stuck himself out.
Inside the humvee, Flaky screamed as she saw The Cat peek himself out of the car window. Flippy quickly gasped as he opened his car door, smacking The Cat in the face, which in turn caused the Sten to fire randomly into the air. Sniffles, sitting on a bench, watched the speeding vehicles pass him. However, some of the stray bullets found their way onto a billboard above Sniffles. As the support cracked and broke, Sniffles tried to run away, but was crushed by the falling billboard.
Up ahead, Mime was on his unicycle entertaining Pop and Cub, performing a juggling routine. As Cub giggled, Pop smiled and said, "Mmmm-hmm" and deposited a coin in a hat for Mime. Mime smiled and continued balancing on his unicycle. Suddenly, Flippy's speeding humvee plowed into Mime, spraying the windsheild with blood. Pop gasped as Cub continued giggling, oblivious to Mime's death. Nearby, officer Lumpy sat on a motorcycle and saw the whole incident occur. He spoke nonsense into a walkie-talkie, turned his siren on, and chased after the speeding vehicles.
Back in the humvee, Flaky shielded her eyes as she quickly turned the wipers on to clean off Mime's blood. Flippy still was using the door to block The Cat from shooting. Tired of it, The Cat went back inside Toothy's car and decided to fire from there. He smiled as he pulled the trigger, only for the gun to jam. The Cat threw the gun in the backseat in anger and searched his briefcase again.
Ahead of the two vehicles, Handy hummed to himself as he (somehow) drove his towtruck. He then asked, "Huh?" as he saw the two vehicles coming, side-by-side straight towards him. Inside the humvee, Flaky screamed, causing Flippy to look ahead and swerve the humvee to the right. Toothy also noticed the towtruck and swerved to the left, with both vehicles narrowly avoiding Handy. Handy gave a "Phew" in relief and looked back at the two speeding vehicles. As he brought his gaze back to the front, he gasped as he saw Lumpy narrowly avoiding him. In response to this, Handy accidently bumped into a button which released the hook on the back of his truck. Lumpy drove around Handy, but still ended up with the now detached hook in the right side of his neck.
As the hook embedded itself deeper into his neck, Lumpy screamed louder and louder. Not knowing that Lumpy was attached to it, Handy attempted to retract the hook. As the hook retracted, the hook tore the screaming Lumpy's head clean off, causing it to land in the back of Handy's truck. The now-headless Lumpy still drove on after the two vehicles.
After swerving, the two vehicles rejoined each other as The Cat now held a grappling hook attached to a rope in his hands. The Cat then kicked the passenger door off and swung the hook. He threw the hook, which embedded itself in the roof of the humvee. The Cat started to tug on the rope, which started to pull the roof off the humvee like a banana. Flaky screamed as she tried to grab onto the roof to prevent it from being torn off. The Cat, thinking Flaky was Flippy's girlfriend, pulled out a pistol and fired a single shot.
Flippy noticed this and quickly grabbed Flaky seconds before she was shot. Oblivious to the chase, Giggles and Nutty sat on a bench and licked lollipops. The bullet that nearly killed Flaky whizzed through Nutty's lollipop, shattering it to pieces. Staring in disbelief, Nutty screamed, but his eyes then spied Giggles's lollipop.
"Ooooo!" Nutty yelled in awe. As he reached out with his left hand, he flung his right hand (with his old lollipop stick in his hand) to his right. Surprisingly, Nutty easily took the lollipop and started to lick it. This easy retrieval was due to the fact that Nutty accidentally stuck his old lollipop stick into Giggles's throat. In desperation, she let go of her lollipop and tried to take the stick out. She finally succeeded, only for blood to start pouring out of the open wound. She gasped and tried to get Nutty's attention. Nutty, however, was too focused on his lollipop, and Giggles fell onto the ground, already dead in a pile of her own blood.
The chase continued as The Cat continued to pull the roof off the humvee. However, Toothy, noticing Cro-Marmot's ice cream truck moving slowly up ahead, slammed on the brakes, causing The Cat to fly into the windshield. This did, however, succeed in tearing off the roof of the humvee, which fell onto the road as it sped away.
The Cat bared his teeth and angrily asked, "MOW MOW?!" Toothy quickly pointed at the ice cream truck ahead of them. The Cat growled and told Toothy, "Meow!", and he obeyed by driving around Cro-Marmot. As Toothy sped up to catch up to the humvee, The Cat broke the rear windshield, reached into his briefcase, and threw an incendiary grenade at the ice cream truck. Toothy nervously watched the rear view mirror as the ice cream truck exploded into flames and drove off the side of the road. Toothy now began to worry for his life as he sped up even further.
Flippy, knowing that the chase would continue unless he brought Evil Flippy into it, tried to flip out, but the harder he tried, the less it seemed that he would flip out. Several pistol shots rang out as Flippy turned his head to see that The Cat was indeed catching up faster than expected. Since the roof had been taken out, The Cat now ordered Toothy to pull up next to the vehicle so he could go inside the humvee from the now open roof. Grinning evilly, The Cat stuck his body outside the passenger side and used the butt of his gun to break Flippy's window
Thinking quickly, Flippy opened his car door again, knocking the pistol out of The Cat's hands. The Cat growled, as Flippy turned his head and their eyes met as both growled at each other.
Up ahead, Disco Bear snapped his fingers as he walked across a crosswalk. He heard the two speeding vehicles come zoom towards him at lightning speed, and as such, he didn't move out of the way.
Both Toothy and Flaky screamed as they both saw Disco Bear was directly in front of them. Hearing the screams, The Cat and Flippy now looked forward, and gasped. Both vehicles tried to part, but only parted couple feet when they hit Disco Bear. Disco Bear, wedged between the two vehicles, attempted to free himself as the vehicles continued to part. He grabbed onto Flippy's broken window with his hands, and he tried to plant his feet onto Toothy's car floor. Grinning with an idea, The Cat withdrew two knives from his briefcase and stabbed Disco Bear in the back of his heels, trapping his feet on Toothy's floor. Disco Bear screamed at the immense pain now in his heels. Grinning madly, The Cat withdrew his claws, and started slicing at Disco Bear's midsection. At first, Disco Bear felt nothing, but as Toothy pulled away from the humvee further, he started screaming as his lower body became separated from his upper body, with only his intestines keeping the two halves together.
Having made himself a makeshift bridge with Disco Bear's innards, The Cat drew another knife and proceeded to tight rope walk across the screaming Disco Bear.
Up ahead, Russell attempted to cross the street like Disco Bear had minutes earlier. As he crossed, he heard the revving motors and turned to see the speeding vehicles. He was puzzled and asked "Yar?" before the vehicles passed right beside him on either side, himself being spared of any injury although his hat was knocked off by Disco Bear's innards. Russell bent down to pick up his hat when the speeding, headless Lumpy plowed into him, killing Russell on impact, and continued on after the vehicles.
The Cat still tried to cross the screaming Disco Bear as the screaming was heard overhead by none other than Splendid. Splendid finally noticed the situation and hummed his heoric theme as he decended to settle the matter. The Cat, grinning madly was several feet from the humvee when he saw Splendid decend from the corner of his eye. Not thinking properly, he threw his knife at Splendid, creating a hole in the hero's cape. Splendid gasped at the hole, and then grew angry. He flew over and used his lazer beam eyes to slice Toothy's vehicle in half. The half with Toothy in it diverged to the left down a separate road, while the other half continued on with the chase. Splendid stopped his pursuit and flew off to his house to fix the hole in his cape.
With Splendid's departure, The Cat grinned madly once again, and activated his claws. With a growl and a "MEEEEEEOOOOOOWWW!" he lept forward, grabbing the side of the humvee. Using Disco Bear's head he climbed onto the destroyed roof, and landed inside the back seat of the humvee. Weakened from the ordeal, Disco Bear let go of the humvee and his upper body flew to the left like a spring. This forced the half of Toothy's vehicle with his legs nailed down off the road to plow into a tree, swinging the screaming upper body of Disco Bear around in the air. Disco Bear screamed as his upper body began to wrap itself around the tree trunk, and, as his spinning body came closer to the tree, his head collided with a branch, which decapitated him, and caused his head to land in a nest on another tree.
Meanwhile, Toothy screamed as his half of car went downhill towards Lifty and Shifty's van. Inside, the two raccoons laughed as they viewed their cargo: stolen torture devices. When they looked back on the road; however, they noticed Toothy heading straight for them, and they screamed. The two vehicles collided, and flung Toothy forward, and caused himself, Lifty, and Shifty to fling back towards the torture devices in the back of the van. Lifty screamed as he landed inside of an iron maiden, which closed, and fell onto the floor, sealing his fate. Shifty hit the back of the van and fell over, right onto a guillotine rack which closed up on him. He tried to free himself, but could not before the blade dropped. Toothy landed into a chair, which strapped his hands down, and started drilling into the back of his head. Toothy screamed in pain as the two drills went through his brain, and eventually, his eye sockets.
Flippy now let go of the wheel, and attempted to grab The Cat's hands before he could start clawing anything. Flaky was frightened, but helped her friend out to restrain the mad cat. They each grabbed an arm as The Cat growled in anger before noticing that the humvee was heading straight for a railing. He screamed as Flippy and Flaky looked forward and started screaming as well. The humvee plowed through the railing, tipped, and rolled several times before finally stopping onto the sand.
Flippy groaned in pain as he slowly got up, having been thrown from the vehicle as it rolled, and noticed that they were on the beach now. He looked around for Flaky, but could not find her. What he did hear was heavy breathing coming from behind him. He slowly turned around to see The Cat, teeth bared, and holding his claws at Flaky's throat. Flippy gasped as he tried his best to flip out, but still could not.
"Mow," said The Cat, as he pricked Flaky in the arm with one of his claws. Flippy shook his head, sighed, and asked "Why?"
The Cat said nothing in reply, only taking from his pocket the picture of his beloved uncle, showing it to Flippy. Flippy, noticing right away who it was, gasped and started to hyperventilate. Seeing the Tiger General's picture made Flippy remember his fallen comrades and the fight with the General. His hyperventilating turned into growling as he bared his teeth and his eyes changed color. Evil Flippy was finally unleashed.
Seeing now he was ready for a fight, The Cat let go of Flaky, slapped her across the face, and took stance against Flippy. Flippy drew a knife and lunged at The Cat. The Cat caught the knife and sliced with his claws, cutting up Flippy's left arm. Growling in pain at his wound, Flippy again started slicing at The Cat, finally slicing him across the chest. The Cat only wiped up some of his blood with his hand, and licked it clean as he lunged again at Flippy. He jabbed his claws into Flippy's chest who in turn stabbed The Cat in the left shoulder with his knife. They both backed away from each other, each wounded. The Cat lunged at Flippy, attempting to slice his face with his left claws. Flippy sliced seconds before he was cut. The Cat backed away again and howled in pain as he looked at his left hand, which was now missing three fingers. Deciding to end things now, The Cat withdrew another pistol from his outfit and took aim at Flippy's face. Flippy stared with anger at his enemy as The Cat grinned again, and slowly began to pull the trigger.
Suddenly, The Cat screamed in pain, dropped the gun, and doubled over. He now stared at the quill that was sticking through his right thigh. He turned around to see a visibly shaken up Flaky, who had used one of her own quills to injure him. Capitalizing on his rival's pain, Evil Flippy lept forward and stabbed his knife straight into The Cat's vile heart. Then, he placed a grenade in The Cat's right hand and pulled the pin. The Cat gasped and prepared to throw the grenade back at Flippy when Flaky used another of her quills to impale The Cat's right hand, causing him to drop the grenade. As Flippy and Flaky ran for cover, The Cat quickly reached down to pick up the grenade with his injured left hand when the grenade exploded.
Seeing the explosion, Flippy returned to reality, and looked over at the visibly shaken Flaky, who was still horrified that she had done what she had done. Attempting to reconcile her, Flippy hugged her, a hug which Flaky eventually returned. But as they hugged, they didn't hear or see the sight two feet beside them. Pointed at the couple was a pistol, belonging to The Cat, who was now seriously injured, and breathing very heavily. The grenade explosion had blown off his left arm and his legs, but still The Cat had drug himself to his pistol and now proceeded to do away with his enemy. As he attempted to pull the trigger, however; a sharp point entered the back of his head, and The Cat started to scream and howl in pain. Hearing the agony, Flippy and Flaky turned to see the sight. As The Cat howled one last time, the point withdrew from his head, taking his brain with it. The sharp point was none other than The Mole's cane. The Mole, thinking that his cane was caught on something, unknowinly saved the day. Flippy and Flaky stared at each other and smiled, then started walking along the beach hand-in-hand, followed closely by The Mole (who still had The Cat's brain on the end of his cane).
Finally reaching his house, Handy opened his truck door after some time, and hopped up on the back. Peering inside, he gasped "Huh?!" as he stared at Lumpy's decapitated head in the back of his towtruck.
Back on the beach, the headless Lumpy placed a handcuff around his own arm, and the other end on the attached arm of The Cat's body. After that, Lumpy finally fell backwards onto the ground, dead, followed by an iris out.
Moral: Curiosity killed the cat.