The Sky Is Orange

by switmikan74

Takao Kazunari was anything but a believer in love because his father was a victim of the pain that it leaves in its wake. But because they stood under an orange sky where everything seems in a standstill, he falls in too deep with a man who can never love him back. Maybe, history did repeat itself.

Title: The Sky Is Orange

Pairing: MidoTaka

Genre: Romance/Angst

OoOoO

Your dad has been living under an orange sky ever since you knew him though he tried to hide it away with that big toothy grin you inherited from him. Your dad had been dead, so painfully dead inside.

To be honest, the moment you opened your eyes and got a glimpse of the man with the same pair of eyes as yours; you saw a walking corpse who tried to blend in with the living.

You always wonder why, as curious Takao Kazunari that you are, but you never really tried prying.

Because the first time you did, you saw regrets coming alive within those pools of his; the shadows clang to him tighter than ever and dragged him down even more.

Sometimes, you wondered if you killed your father that day.

So, you tried avoiding it as much. Youkeep a blind eye every time your father sat on that little corner that overlooks an old, old house and covers your ears the moment you saw a tear slide down your father's cheeks because the little tear sounds louder than the quiet sob your father was holding back.

One day, when you thought you were all alone in your house, you stumbled upon the greatest treasure you could imagine. The stash of cd that contains video file up the room you accidentally entered and so do the thousands of pictures of the woman who by any means, not your mom.

The videos were of your father's younger years, the history that Mr Takao Saeki desperately hid from your eyes.

"Ah," The cheerful voice of your father seemed strained at places and you jumped at the sudden intrusion of the privacy that you, yourself, had breached. "You finally found them."

He walks in front of you and turns the television off and sat beside you, dear Takao looks away and tried thinking of an excuse but Saeki-san brought you to a sudden hug that brought the world to a standstill.

"I'm sorry, Kazu, I'm so sorry." He whispered in your ears, soft and broken and so unlike the man who brought you up on his own.

"Papa?" You tilted your head before hugging him back, God knows how much the man needed comfort.

"Kazu," He looks at you and saw the reflection of your innocence in his jaded orbs, he smiled at you gently, "Never fall in love with your best friend."

'Because life can do cruel things' rang silently amongst the noises made by a twisting and hurting heart.

You never really thought much about it because seeing him like that makes you sceptical over the thought of love. Maybe, deep within your heart just like the mother you never gotten a chance to know, you realized that love never really last.

OoOoO

You met your own best friend at the age of eight.

He was a silent boy, often cope within his house and never seem to smile as much as you do. But you were fascinated over him, he got such long lashes and his eyes were a pair of brilliant green that you just can't get enough of teasing him.

Midorima Shintarou entered your highly guarded heart.

Shin-chan, you fondly christened him, Shin-chan is your best friend in the whole wide world and you love him so; the way a boy loves his favourite toy, the way a child loves his home, the way a young kid loves his favourite shirt.

And, your Shin-chan never really showed it but deep down, he really does care for you too because the way he hid a small smile behind the various quirky toy he always seem to carry around with him and how he bits his lips a little too much just to stifle a laugh from your own silliness shows that he treasures you as much.

But your papa always kneeled down to you every time you came home and brushes the stray dirt that had clung to you and held your cheeks as fatherly as he could before telling you time and time again,

"Son," He started with a voice that seems so worn out from covering his pain too much, "Never fall in love with your best friend."

"Shin-chan is a boy, papa." You would counter, eyes looking oddly at your father.

But your father only smiled at you and hugged you close to him as if trying to protect you from any harm and pain that might come after you, "Life can do awful things, Kazu."

But you only shook your head and beamed him a smile and trying so hard to scare your papa's pain away with the brightness you put in that little quirk of your lips.

"Don't worry, papa, Shin-chan would never steal my heart!"

OoOoO

But he did.

He did steal your heart at the age of thirteen when he was going off to a prestigious middle school called Teiko. The very school that might as well had ruined your friendship with him.

You grew starry eyed every time he made a shoot and the crowd went wild because of him but the only noise you could make out is the beating of your heart.

Little Shin-chan with the various quirky toys made you fall in love without you noticing.

Because the Takao Kazunari that you knew was a sceptic when it comes to love, so you never really noticed it until you were in too deep and you were passed the point of no return.

How did it happen? You like to ask yourself. Why did it happen?

But as you opened the door of your house and saw the faded smile of your kind father, you wondered if history could really repeat itself.

But why did he have to fall for a boy? Why Shin-chan? Why did it have to be his best friend?

The silence that follows your questions drags your steps heavily down, and you grew even more wary of life and love.

The two were terrible; you told yourself time and time again, the two can do terrible, terrible things.

"Son," Your father's voice was softer than you remember and he brought you to his arms once more, "It's okay, don't worry about it. Everything will pass soon."

You wonder if he knew how you fall in too deep with your Shin-chan.

You heaved a shaky breath and hugged him back and painted your lips with the grin that you always willed to scare the darkness away from your dad, "I'm so sorry, papa."

Your father nodded and understood and still spared you a kind smile that melts nightmares away.

You wished that you can be as strong as your father.

OoOoO

At fourteen, you decided to join your school's basketball team and buried yourself at the pressure of getting stronger and stronger to defeat the so called Generation of Miracles.

You decided that love can go die and rot in hell because the only thing you should be focusing is your study and your sad father because God knows how much the man needed an anchor in life.

And for a while, you had forgotten that there was a time in your life where you knew a Midorima Shintarou. And for the time being, you had forgotten that you even once loved a Shin-chan.

Well, just a few short tick of the clock.

But since your best friend lived just beside you, it is quite inevitable that you would see each other again.

You smiled at him and even waved cheerfully before walking quickly away from him. If you had stayed for another long second, you might have seen his relieve small smile that displays how happy he is that you still considered him as your precious Shin-chan.

But you didn't. You didn't stay and therefore adds more rips and tears that wear your friendship down even further.

You wonder when will be the time you truly give up on him.

OoOoO

You graduated middle school with the happiest of grin, so proud of yourself of making your dear papa proud. Though you failed defeating Midorima and his team, just having the chance of going against them keeps you going with your newfound dream.

Never in your wildest dream that you ever thought of going in the same school with a Miracle, even more so with your Shin-chan.

You cover the ache that grabs hold of your heart when you two met each other at school with the brightest smile you could muster before jumping him because the Takao Kazunari that your Shin-chan knew is a crazily affectionate boy with the quirkiest of personality.

You played with him in your school's basketball team and was surprised that you two blended so well together in the court.

You always paused to wonder if you could be as compatible in life as you are in court before snorting and trying to kill the poison coursing through your blood that any hormonal teen might called love.

Your father chuckled at you one day when you moodily throw your things in your living room and almost breaking the remote with the force you are giving it, "It's not going to go away just by ignoring it, Kazu. Trust me."

And you did because the man had experienced the damn thing before, years of knowing the pain made him a wiser man and even more as a father.

You wished you could just ignore it forever.

OoOoO

But forever isn't a real thing. No matter who says otherwise, it's not. Nothing lasted for everything has an end to it, that's why you seem so cynical when it comes to the crazy thing you called love.

The notion of it makes your heart swell and your mind vomit, your soul nonchalant and your body eager.

Love makes you sick in both the good and bad way.

You sighed and waited for the rush of feelings to just disappear. But they didn't.

One day, on your junior year in Shutoku, a weird thing happened. An odd phenomenon that leaves you aching and hurting and so wistfully heartbroken.

Little Shin-chanwho wasn't as little anymore but still carry peculiar objects with him everywhere he goes got himself a girlfriend with a grin as bright as yours and a personality as eccentric as your persona.

Sometimes, you wonder if Shin-chan loves you too for picking a woman who might as well be your female counterpart.

But you shook your head when you saw in the corner of your eyes Shin-chan gingerly intertwining his bandaged hands with the small ones of the sweet girl. You lived through high school teasing your Shin-chan about his relationship while willing it to end as soon as possible.

The relationship lasted throughout your stay in Shutoku and you might as well be as dead as your father is.

When you entered your silent home, you saw your father sitting at that corner again with his eyes glazed with the bygones he lives for.

"Kazu," His voice was warm with nostalgia, you approached him and he smiled at you and patted your head softly as if you're still that little kid from years ago.

"Hai?" You responded, eyes following the line of sight of your father.

"That old house in front of us used to be the home of the woman I loved." He began lightly, "Beside it was your mother's. We had been all childhood friends and we grew up together."

Your eyes looked directly at the distracted pair of your melancholic papa.

"But the thing is, I loved her ever since we were young. And it hurts to know she could never love me back the same way I love her or the same way your mother loves me." His voice grew softer and softer, falling even more back to the past that was supposed to be buried long ago. "She loves him more than me… and I love her more than your mother."

"Who is this woman, papa?" The woman in the picture so long ago was not as vivid as they are back when you were six but she was quite familiar as if you knew her for quite some time now.

"To tell you the truth, I had never loved your mother, Kazu." He ignored your question and you should have been offended by his words but you aren't, "I married her because of a drunken accident that ended up with us both naked in bed and you in her stomach. Out of obligation, I told her and she understood and maybe that's why after the day you were born, she left and never came back with the divorce paper as her only final decision."

"I never did sign the papers," He shook his head at his own ridiculousness, "But I was really guilty for not trying. Maybe, that's why I shower you with the love that I could have shared with your mother. But it's not as easy as they seem. Because even now, I still love the woman who used to live across us."

"She lives besides us now though and has her own family." He smiled lightly at you and looked you in the eye, "So, son, please stop falling in love with your best friend."

History did repeat itself.

OoOoO

College didn't separate the two of you but you wish it did.

The heavy burden of knowing that your best friend's mother was the woman that your father can't get over with leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

You were studying to become a lawyer since you discovered that you had a knack with words. The university you attended holds the medical department that Shin-chan wanted to go to.

Fate is a cruel thing, isn't it?

Because the woman who replaced you in Shin-chan's heart goes there as well to become a teacher herself.

You wonder if it's too late to transfer but you swallowed the fear you felt and tried to get over him and move on with your life.

Tried to, at least.

OoOoO

Three years into college, you were surprise to open your door to see Shin-chan dripping wet and holding a bag in his arms.

He and Haruka got into a fight and broke up, you squashed your glee promptly the moment you notice the redness of his eyes.

You let the silent man into not only your apartment but your life as well. You wished he'll fall in love with you instead.

But the fighting didn't last because the next thing you knew, your Shin-chan is willingly walking out of your life again to the cheerful woman's open arms.

Maybe it was stress or maybe their bond is just really breakable, because it became a familiar occurrence for you to see Shin-chan at your doorstep carrying a bag and running away from the cruelty of love.

Time and time again, you see his back turns to you and you wonder if you had said you love him; would he come back to you.

Because God knows how you love him first, love him more than anyone else, love him more than his Haruka could, and love him more than his Haruka would.

God knows how many sacrifices you would do just for him to love you too.

OoOoO

One day, you snapped.

When he came to you and he was wearing a tight frown upon his delicate face, you kissed him just because.

He recoiled back and throws you a confused stare.

"What are you doing?" He said, voice edgy and sharp.

"Helping you through your broken heart phase." You shrug, covering the desperation that tried to leak out of your voice.

It was silent for a while before you felt a pair of lips landed in your own and you wondered if this was a dream. Because the kiss was so soft and gentle that you thought your Shin-chan loves you as much as you do to him.

A single tear slid down your cheek when you two reached the door of your bedroom and you fell to your bed and things happen so fast that you could have sworn it was surreal.

You woke up the next day with a note beside your bed.

'Haruka called. I'm on my way to her.'

You put your face on your arms and cried because it hurt so much to be used, it hurt so much to know that the only man you ever love could never love you back.

You cradled yourself and tried to hide away from the loneliness that your apartment seems to bask in before you showered and scrub yourself clean until the skin was painfully red.

You wanted to rid yourself of the humiliation you put yourself into.

OoOoO

The next time it happened, you were just minding your own business when he barged into your sanctuary and asked you for comfort.

You should have said no. You should have vehemently refused. You should have told him that the first time was a mistake.

But as you two fall into bed again, you realized that you succumb to your weakness again.

And you always wake up with no one besides you leading you to ask yourself if everything was just your imagination but when the pain grew ten times worse and you found yourself heaving in disgust of yourself, you knew how harsh reality really is.

You hate yourself for being a third wheel.

But that wasn't the last time that the two of you did it. There were many more occasions throughout college and because of that, you found yourself so lost in your misery.

You visited your father for comfort and found him sitting again on a Saturday evening when he was not at school for work.

"Papa?" You called out and he offered you his usual kind smile, that quirk of the lips that was heavily wounded of reality but stayed strong through the ordeal of it.

"Kazu," He started before looking out the window, "If it hurts, let go. If you cannot let go then it will keep hurting. But if you love him too much, make him realize that it was you who loves him first."

You always wonder if your father was a psychic because he seems to always know the cracks of your heart even though you tried to hide it with the millions of layers of happiness you seem to have forgotten of how it really taste.

You tilted your head up and beamed him a smile, always wondering if you ever succeeded in scaring your precious papa's pain away.

OoOoO

At the age of twenty eight, you confronted him when he tried to kiss you again and you found your resolve and refused him of a night of comfort for the very first time.

"Shin-chan," You looked him in the eyes, "Do you love me?"

He was silent for a while and you heard your heart shattering so loudly, you almost thought that he heard it breaking.

A tight frown answered your question and you gave him a smile, one that is utterly jaded and worn down by the harshness of reality, the one that your father always wore at home where everyone can't see him cry and break.

"Because I love you." You said even though you knew you couldn't convince him to stay anymore, "Shin-chan, I love you ever since we were in middle school. Stop breaking my heart for Haruka, I love you first so why can't you love me too?"

The words rang heavy in the confinement of your heart and even heavier when it came out of your own mouth.

"It was always me who was there for you. I was always there through your best and especially through your worst, why can't I be the one you fall in love with? Why can't I be the one who stole your heart? Because Shin-chan, you stole mine…"

The tears that you were holding on for far too long burst out from your eyes like a river on rainy days.

"I'm sorry." Your Shin-chan's words made you close your eyes from the sheer agony it caused you, your heart was at the edge of dying and it felt so good that he told you the truth himself.

The silent rejection echoed loudly in your ears, it leaves you breathless and exhausted. The tightness of your lungs made your voice shaky but you looked him in the eye and smiled.

"I'm sorry too…"

OoOoO

You were invited to Midorima's wedding at age thirty-one—you stop calling him Shin-chan, it's not right to call him that, you told yourself—and you wonder if the man was being utterly cruel to you when he choose you as his best man.

He could have chosen Kise or any of his former teammate back in Teiko but he chose you knowing that you love him so much.

But when you look him in his brilliant green eyes that you were so fascinated with since you were young, you saw the regret that clouds his eyes along with the determination of mending your friendship with him.

You cover the ache with a happy nod and a bright smile, hiding away from the realm of the unkind and the hopeless.

The wedding was small and the only people there was the Generation of Miracles and their date and the former Shutoku team and the parents of the bride and groom.

Your smile wavered a bit when they announced that Midorima Haruka was two months pregnant. You keep on smiling and told them how pleasantly happy you are for them, how they should name their child after you since you're so awesome, how you were so glad to know that 'Shin-chan'—you gritted your teeth to force that out—was going to be a father soon.

You lied, simple as that.

And drunk the night away at a bar to forget the world and your pain and the throbbing memories that 'Shin-chan' left you with.

OoOoO

At thirty-two, you packed your bags and move to a faraway town; just enough distance so that your heart won't hurt so badly.

At thirty-two, your father died. And for the first time since forever, you felt so alone in the world.

Your kind father left you a fortune but it was not enough to ease your sadness; your life is falling apart in front of your eyes and you don't know what to do anymore.

You saw your mother for the first time in your life at his funeral. She was a very beautiful woman, you told yourself, even more beautiful than the woman beside her. The woman that your father loved so much talked with her for a while and you felt like a child when you looked at her in your little corner.

Your mother got jet-black hair, the one that you inherited and doll-like face that most would fall in love with and you wonder what your father didn't see in her.

Midorima's mother pale in comparison or you were just being a kid when comparing her to anyone else.

"You had grown up so fine, Kazu." Her voice was smooth and distant, treading on pins and needles.

You should have been angry at her for leaving you, for giving up too easily but you didn't. Instead you hugged her and cried your heart out, let all the shadows that crawled in your heart fade away.

You let everything go when she hugged you back like a mother should to a son and it was so ridiculous to be crying in the arms of your mother at this age, you told yourself, but it was so comforting and so right.

She visited you more often now and you were not as alone as you think you are.

OoOoO

You sat at the corner where your father used to sat and observed the old home in front of yours and decided to buy the house one day.

You bought it not two days later.

OoOoO

A woman approached you with a little toddler in her arms when thirty-three seasons of your life had passed by.

The girl was the result of your drunken night two years ago, you gulped down your pride and took her in.

When you asked if the woman wanted to get married, she only smiled lightly.

"We'll get married then divorced. I don't want Yuka to grow up as an illegitimate child."

So, they did. They were married for a year and nobody knows it up until the time they applied for divorce. You thought how silly it is really.

But Yuka was yours to keep because her green eyes reminded you of the man you used to love.

OoOoO

The sun was going down when you saw him once more got down from the car with his family, his wife was really pretty—you admitted—and his son was quite the handsome kid.

The house they bought was the house your mother used to live in and then you smiled to yourself thinking how ironic it is that this little neighbourhood in this big town was the starting point of it all.

So, you brushed the jet-black locks of your daughter and kneeled in front of her as your father did to you when you were six.

"My little princess," You started, hands cupping gently her cheeks, "Never fall in love with your best friend."

"Eh?" She tilted her head and you saw the innocence that your father saw in you once. And it breaks your heart when you stood up and brought the lone picture frame that holds the photo of you and one Midorima Shintarou back in high school down to meet the wooden surface of your table and remember how much it really hurts.

How much it still hurts.

"Because, dearest Yuka," Your eyes met the curious green eyes of your neighbour and you cracked a smile before slightly waving at the little boy, "Life can really be a terrible, terrible thing."

Fin…

Err, review?

Heh, I was listening to Mayday Parade's Terrible Things and got a stroke of inspiration. XD, I don't know why I wrote it like that! Please don't sue me!

*shrugs*, anywho, I am very much in love with Loveless right now. XD, oh yeah. I'm watching it again!

Hmmm, so I was wondering what it felt like the first time you all stepped in to college? Because I am really scared right now of what may happen to me in this new horizon called university/college life! Any advice there for a newbie like me? :D

And to all my wonderful reviewers and readers and followers and err, favouriter of my silly story, The Absolute Courting of Akashi Seijuurou, I am proud to say that I had gotten back my muse and is now ready to continue it! :D