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The Transfer Student

Sometimes I feel like I'm going mad. I dreamed about him again. Blue eyes. Spiky, brown hair. And to make it even weirder he's got these animal friends. Cantankerous duck. Dopey dog. That's how I know I've really lost it. Why do I keep dreaming about him? How many other fifteen-year-old boys have recurring dreams about some cute guy and his furry friends? I want to know why it keeps happening. Why me? It's hard enough being a short, scruffy kid at high school. It's hard when you look like a boy but everyone treats you like you should be a man already. What is it I should be? A guy like me should get a girlfriend and defend his honour in the struggles...right? Well, I know which of those I can do.

I just keep dreaming about him. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about him. I like to imagine how cute he looks when he is sleeping...ugh. Why did it have to be a boy? Why me?

Mom and Dad took off before I could even say goodbye. They're on business so much, I even wonder if I would recognise them when they come back. Would they recognise me? It's funny. I'm not even sure I care. I live in this apartment with them, but it's not really a home where I feel like I belong.

The last day of school was supposed to be a smooth one. Just one day before summer vacation when I could hang out with the gang and skateboard full time. It got off to a shaky start when teach' announced a new transfer student. I mean, seriously? Who transfers on the last day of the semester?

So this transfer student sits two desks away from me. She has bright, blue eyes, white-blonde hair, and spends the whole, fucking afternoon staring at me like I got a rash on my face or something. Seifer was chucking paper airplanes at my head, but that's normal; It's his way of reminding me he's still a jerk. I was in the process of launching my own paper fighter jet back when I noticed Hayner passing a note to Olette.

A blush spread across Hayner's tanned cheeks. Trust me, in all the years I've known the guy, I've never seen him blush before.

Olette's face screwed up as she held the note in hand. Her hand shot up. 'Ma'am, I need the bathroom.' And she zoomed out, ponytail swinging behind her.

Seifer's white jacket flapped about as he snatched up the note. Hayner tried to grab it but missed.

Seifer cleared his throat and read loudly to the class: 'Dear Olette. I think about you every day. Would you meet me after class for a date?' Seifer burst out laughing. He started chanting: 'Hayner's got a cru-ush. Hayner's got a crush!'

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

Hayner frowned at me. 'I'll admit it, 'kay! I like Olette,' he said. 'At least I got the balls to say it!'

Hayner leaned back in his chair and shoved his arms behind his head. He always wore muscle vests in summer. He certainly wasn't a bodybuilder, but his shoulders and upper-arms were well-defined for a teenaged guy. Hayner caught me looking at said muscles. I looked away. Looked back. Hayner gave me this wry smile. Look away, dammit! I scolded myself.

Then I caught a glimpse of miss transfer student looking at me. What was her name again? Naminé, that was it. She handed me a note of her own. Was it a special day for passing notes?

I hesitated before taking it from her. On any other day, teach' wouldn't have stood for this much disruption, but with it being the last day I think she had already taken off in search of a VHS player to make us all shut up.

Naminé's bright blue eyes pierced their way across the classroom. Tentatively I unfolded the note and read her impeccable handwriting:

I want to get you know you better, Roxas. Will you meet me after school? Behind the bike sheds.

I coughed. Behind the bike sheds? What was up with this girl? Day one and she wants a romantic rendezvous in the place all the kids go to kiss and smoke cigarettes. Naminé watched me carefully. I stole a glance around the rest of the room, which had gone quiet, oddly quiet. In fact, everyone was perfectly still.

My chair scraped across the floor as I stood up. All of my classmates were frozen stiff, mid-writing, mid-conversation, mid-airplane-making.

Naminé was sat there blinking at me. Her eyes were wide like lanterns. 'I wanted to meet you at least once, Roxas.'

I thought I might be going insane. I felt for my wristband. I squeezed myself hard. 'What's going on? Am I dreaming?'

'No, but I can't hold the data for long. Will you meet me later?'

I stuffed my hands into my pockets. 'Don't wanna.'

Her face fell. In fact I was sure her eyes started to glisten.

'Look, it's nothing personal.' I looked around at my classmates, all frozen or trapped or whatever. I know it sounds fucking crazy, but I just sort of accepted it. Go with the flow and all. Naminé looked to me. She seemed to almost look inside of me. It was the first day we had met, but somehow I felt like I had met her before. I felt like she knew me. It was a relief, to be honest. I sighed heavily and decided to level with her. 'Look Naminé. The thing is I'm not ever gonna meet with you like that.'

'No, Roxas. You don't understand.'

'I do understand.' There was a flicker of movement. Like the whole world twitched. 'I'm into guys. I'm gay.'

The world lurched into motion. The whole class turned to stare as my admission reverberated round the room. 'I'm gay.'

Naminé noticed the disturbance. 'That's not how I wanted this to go.' She put her head in her hands. Her voice was strained, desperate. 'You're heartless, Roxas. You're a nobody.'

Laughter. I looked around and all my classmates were laughing at me.

I looked back to Naminé. 'Hey, that's not fair. I told you I was gay, I didn't ask for your damn opinion.'

She pulled at her hair. 'You don't understand!'

And then she vanished. She literally disappeared. Olette was sat in her place, pen in hand, looking up at me from the desk. She played with her dark fringe. 'Sorry, Roxas. I didn't know.'

I blinked at her. 'I thought you went to the bathroom.'

Seifer's laughter was obnoxiously loud. 'Little Roxas, the little faggot, who'dve thought it?'

I looked him right in the eye under that stupid beanie hat he wore. 'Shut it.'

To my saving grace teach' came back at that moment with one of those TV sets on wheels and the class quietened down. We watched the Lion King in the dark. I wanted to enjoy the movie but I was worrying about the consequences of my secret being out. How likely was I to get beaten up on my way home? I looked around at where Naminé had been sat - where Olette was now. I caught Hayner's eye in the hope of getting some reassurance but he looked away immediately. Some best friend he was.