Disclaimer: All treknology, all characters and so on, belong to their rightful owners. I'm just borrowing them for the purpose of writing this story (and others like it). I own nothing and I'm not making any profit from the writing of all this.
A/N: I haven't marked the POV switches especially, but it should be obvious nonetheless. It's a pretty fluffy story interspersed with some smut, that will be more than 10 chapters long. The M rating is for adult themes and acts.
Getting to know Kathryn Janeway was by no means an easy goal to accomplish. Chakotay had accepted that long ago and had learned to appreciate the captain's withdrawn manner when it came to personal matters. When they had set out on this unparalleled mission together, he'd had to earn her trust, but as the years passed, Chakotay and Janeway had grown to rely and depend on each other's company and counsel. And ever since New Earth, he'd been able to get a glimpse beneath her mask every now and then. Still, though, finding out her likes and dislikes was mostly a game of trial and error, Chakotay mused as he watched her take her first bite of terranut soufflé.
This recipe seemed like a success, for the captain's face lit up instantly. She let out a small moan and then met Chakotay's eye, a slightly embarrassed grin playing around her lips. The commander felt himself smile as well. He loved bringing her joy and making her smile, and ever since their stint on that planet a few years ago, he'd made it one of his duties. There was so little in this part of space that was enjoyable. Hirogen hunting parties, Malon freighters, the Borg, and Species 8472 had made these past months a test of all of their mettle. At least these weekly dinners were helping him reassert his friendship with Kathryn. He had caught himself using her first name more and more often lately, and he just hoped that there was enough of a Starfleet officer still in him to keep him from calling her Kathryn in front of the crew.
If he was being honest, though, he was beginning to feel that just being friends wasn't enough for him anymore. He blamed the New Earth incident, like he so often did, for the way he felt about his commanding officer. Back then, Kathryn had been forced to relinquish command of Voyager to Tuvok, because she and Chakotay had contracted an alien virus. They had spent months isolated on that beautiful planet and Chakotay had quickly begun to accept their fate and had tried to build a home for the two of them. After a storm that had wrecked their research equipment, Kathryn had finally come around to his way of thinking, and they had become increasingly familiar with one another. At several times during their stay, Chakotay had wanted to confess his attraction, but when he had finally mustered up the courage to tell her in the form of a story, Voyager had contacted them with a cure shortly after, and Kathryn's mask had slipped back into place. They'd never had time to take things further than a talk. Chakotay still sometimes dreamed of that moment, conjuring up a slightly different scenario, where, upon hearing his confession, she looked into his eyes with that expression of compassion and affection, and kissed him.
Thinking about those dreams now, Chakotay felt his throat tighten at the lost opportunity, and coughed slightly to get rid of the feeling. He longed to build that kind of intimacy between them again, and recent developments had made him once again hopeful. When they had pulled that data stream off the Hirogen array, Kathryn had received word that her fiancé Mark had married another woman. Chakotay had felt decidedly guilty when she had told him, and distinctly remembered the excitement burning in his belly when she had said that her safety net for avoiding intimate relations was gone now. The spark of hope had sustained him, but it had also grown into a fire by now that was urging him to push the issue. Kathryn had looked up when he had cleared his throat, and was still regarding him from half-lidded eyes. She was clearly comfortable in his presence. Should he really jeopardise that by admitting that he still had feelings for her?
He decided against it for now, not wanting to destroy her sugar high. Instead, he got up and poured some more wine.
That night's dream was new. He was thrown in halfway through a heated session of lovemaking. He knew that he was dreaming as soon as he spotted Earth's moon reflected in Kathryn's eyes, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it while it lasted. Chakotay just let the dream unfold, revelling in his pleasure, until he was woken rather abruptly by the Doctor's voice coming from the computer interface that stood open on his desk.
"Rise and shine, Commander. I hope I'm not interrupting any pleasant dreams."
Chakotay quickly pulled the blankets up to cover the evidence of just how pleasant his dream had been, and sat up. "What is it, Doctor?" He asked, trying to banish the annoyed edge from his voice, and failing miserably. In the dream, Chakotay had just been about to climax, so he felt extremely grumpy at being woken.
The Doctor raised one holographic eyebrow at his tone, but let it slide. "I'd appreciate it if you could stop by Sickbay on your way to the bridge. I need to conduct a routine exam, and you have the good fortune of being one of the first in both rank and the alphabet." The hologram's air of entitlement made him promise to head right down. He waited until the call had been ended before he got up and padded over to the sonic shower. He was still painfully hard, though, so he allowed himself an indulgence that Tom Paris might have referred to as 'waxing the Buick'. Not that he had any intention of ever bringing up such a topic in Tom's presence. He found that thinking about Tom didn't exactly help him 'get there', so he turned his mind onto much more pleasant things. Like the kiss that never was, or the way Kathryn had felt against his naked body. It might have been a dream, but Chakotay had the fortune of having exceedingly vivid dreams, and so it didn't take him long to finish, breathing Kathryn's name as he came.
He kept his eyes closed for a minute, hoping to see how his dream counterpart and its lover would behave post-coitally, but the vision vanished, leaving him back in his bathroom, leaning heavily against the shower wall and feeling rather cold. Chakotay sighed. "Computer, activate sonic shower."
Chakotay decided not to keep the Doctor waiting any longer and left his quarters a mere ten minutes later with his jacket over his arm. The turbolift took him safely to deck five, and he was just zipping up his uniform jacket as the Sickbay doors hissed open, and the captain hurried out into the corridor. Chakotay was surprised. Usually, the Doctor had to drag her in for her check-ups. She didn't appear to notice him, however, and headed off in the opposite direction. Chakotay was relieved, because he could already feel an uncharacteristic blush creeping into his cheeks. The thought of his actions in the shower was still very fresh in his mind, making it difficult to rein in his emotions.
The first officer tried to clear his head and entered Sickbay, finding it empty apart from the Doc. The hologram was waiting, tricorder in hand. "Well, I think I should try my hand at inventing some new procedures today. The captain AND the first officer are summoned for an examination and actually show up. It's a minor miracle." The Doctor's dry wit and the beeping of the medical tricorder took Chakotay's mind off carnal pleasures and infatuations. At least for a while.
"I say, Commander, you must be feeling wonderful this morning. I'm detecting above average levels of oxytocin and prolactin, as well as elevated endorphin levels."
The blush returned, much more pronounced this time. He was trying to think of something to say that would explain the Doctor's findings.
"Don't be embarrassed, Commander. There is no shame in auto-eroticism. In fact -"
Chakotay hurried to excuse himself before he'd have to hear about the EMH's sexual experiences. "Thanks, Doc. I'd really better get going. I'm due on the bridge."
Chakotay reached the bridge almost before he knew it and sat down next to the captain. She turned in her seat and leaned over to him. She looked slightly annoyed. "I always say that the day can only get worse if it starts in Sickbay."
Chakotay grinned. "The Doctor's at it again. He won't rest until he's got every molecule on board catalogued. Although I have to admit that I'm curious about his report."
Kathryn gave him a playful slap, sending a pleasant tingle through his body. "I wouldn't have taken you for a peeping tom." She said it jokingly, but in light of his latest dream, it elicited a pang of guilt in the Indian man. It must have shown, because Kathryn gripped his thigh and said: "I'm joking, Chakotay! Now, let's get exploring, shall we?"
Chakotay unconsciously put his hand on hers, and managed a smile. He couldn't quite decipher the look on Kathryn's face, but she didn't look as though she minded.
Suddenly feeling watched, Chakotay retrieved his hand and sat up straight in his chair. "Harry, anything on sensors?"
Harry jabbed at his controls. "Not much, Commander. I've got a pulsar about fifteen light years away, and I picked up an O9 supergiant in a nebula not far from there. There is also some localised neutron radiation, but it's well within tolerance."
Kathryn had gotten up and stridden over to Harry's station, checking his controls. "Should be worth a look. Helm, set a course!"
Most of their duty shift on the bridge passed uneventfully at high warp. At about 1600 hours, however, a crewman in a science uniform showed up to deliver a padd to the captain. Kathryn took it and scanned the heading. "Looks like the Doctor sped things up today. Care to join me in my ready room?" She asked Chakotay, her voice lowered seductively. Chakotay swallowed against his suddenly dry mouth and nodded. "Tuvok, you have the bridge."
With that, they withdrew to the comfortable ready room off the side of the bridge. Kathryn headed straight for the replicator and ordered two cups of coffee, handing one to Chakotay. He found himself admiring the gracefulness of her movements, and the way her hair kept falling into her eyes. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and brushed it back behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek. They stared into each other's eyes for a minute, before he cleared his throat and stepped away, gesturing toward the padd that hung forgotten at Kathryn's side. "So, what's the verdict? Are we a disease-riddled ship or what?"
Kathryn was still staring at him, however, not responding. Chakotay was just about to make some excuse to leave, when his combadge chirped. "Torres to Chakotay?"
He tapped the device dutifully. "Chakotay here."
"Could you come to the mess hall, please?"
Chakotay looked at Kathryn, silently asking her permission. The captain had turned away, and nodded very slightly. "Dismissed." It was barely more than a whisper.