Twice, but not again.

Authoress: Cattsy (Catness)

Word count: 1631 words

Pinned in place by two delicate, but manicured hands. I mentally sighed as I stared into his deep golden eyes; it was the second time in two days that he'd kicked me out of bed. I'm sure that he didn't mean to, but I have a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, telling me that he did. It sort of fits, kind of ironic in fact, that he's pushing me away. I'm not surprised; we've been steadily slipping away from each other for a while now. I know that he's gently easing into a relationship with Haruhi as well. He likes her smile and gentleness and I'm absolutely sure that he enjoys her physical attributes as well. I mentally smile at the thought. I'm glad that he doesn't realize yet, but I'm sure that when he does realize; he'll try and get us to go further together. We've done physical things together, which are not what I meant by go further, but I'm sure he'd expect me to run away or something. My brother is just so idealistic, I don't want to be offensive to him or anything, but I just think that he doesn't realize what happens in the world. I'm sure that this sort of situation happens to a hundred or more people each day. I just hope that we get some luck with our situation.

Pain. However, not the pain I felt yesterday morning. Yesterday's pain was filled with a sensation of betrayal. However, today I feel the unending torment of hatred. I have so many things to feel bad about at the moment, but since I bottle my emotions so much, I don't think I have anywhere to store it in my brain. I don't want it to go to my heart; I don't want to be like that. When people put hate and bad feelings into their hearts, they generally tend to start hating people; turning against their loved ones. I don't want to be hated; for the majority of my life people have thought that Hikaru and I were cute, adorable even. Especially when we played together, people would say how cute it was. When we got older, though, people found it more and more unusual. People think that we should go our separate ways. They call it wrong if we hold hands or touch each other in public. Sure, there are the Host Club girls who think our relationship is cute. I've heard them speaking in private, though.

One specific day was a couple of months ago; Hikaru had to stay in class to speak with a teacher. Hikaru had asked me to wait by the water fountain. I knew it would be a little while until Hikaru would be finished, so I decided to take a longer route than necessary. I came to the second floor stairs and was about to walk down when I noticed a pair of girls sitting about half way down. I overheard a few words; they were talking about the Host Club.

"So, Kari," muttered one girl, "what do you think about Tamaki? Isn't he gorgeous?" The girl positively squealed with desire and lust. It sort of revolted me to hear her say it; Hikaru and I have always laughed at how bad Tamaki acted with girls. The way he acted was cliché and boring, which is where Hikaru and I got the idea for our act from. Hikaru and I always watch Tamaki try and seduce his girls, and then Hikaru uses those same methods on me. Tamaki always gets mad at us, but I think he gets the ideas from soap operas anyway.

"Tamaki is cute," the girl named Kari said, "however, I prefer to designate the Forbidden Romance type; Hikaru and Kaoru are so sweet together. It's a nice couple. Linna, do you think that they really do love each other?" Kari was obviously shy, but she seemed to have a genuine interest with Hikaru and I. I smiled as I sat down quietly behind them; I doubt that they realized that I was there.

"I, honestly," the one named Linna muttered in reply, "think that it's disgusting." Linna had a look on her face that made it clear to me, Kari too. I frowned, wondering what she could possibly find wrong about two people who love each other. She brushed back a bit of hair and opened her mouth to say something more before Kari interrupted.

"What's wrong with their act?" Kari inquired. A blush had spread across her face and her last question was somewhat tentative. I could tell that she was embarrassed now. It was obvious that she cared about what Linna thought and I'm sure that she wasn't willing to defy her friend to defend her beliefs.

"Well, they're related, for one thing," Linna said airily. "It's incest. It's disgusting. People might have married their cousins in the past, but we're in the 21st century and there are several billion people in the world, we don't have to inbreed anymore. They're brothers and that's just wrong. I'm actually surprised that the head master has allowed their act to continue so long, I've a good mind to complain."

Kari drew back uncomfortably, obviously embarrassed. However, I don't think that Linna realized that she was lecturing Kari about the rights and wrongs of relationships. I stood up quietly and disgusted. Linna busied herself with searching through her bag for something; however Kari turned her head and saw me. She looked afraid, for a moment, that I would hurt her. However, her look of fear changed to one of apology and she mouthed the words, I'm sorry.

I clenched my fists and narrowed my eyes. Love may be insane, but I know that I love Hikaru. I turned and walked away, deciding to go and wait outside the classroom for Hikaru instead. Who was Linna to think that Hikaru and I shouldn't love each other? She obviously doesn't know what it's like to be in love, real love- not lust or a simple crush.

I nearly bumped into Hikaru as we both turned a corner; we both drew back for a moment and then realized who the other was. He smiled and reached for a hug, I drew back and looked away. "I decided that I would wait outside the classroom instead," I muttered, not looking directly at him. "I thought you would be with the teacher longer."

"No," Hikaru muttered with a charming voice as he took my hand and led me to sit down in the corridor next to him. "The teacher only wanted to speak about my score on the last test." I turn my head to look at him; he's got a bemused smile on his face. "Are you okay, Kaoru?" he asked, concerned. I mentally sigh and tell him what I had heard. He thinks for a moment before leaning forward quickly, kissing me. He pulled away after a moment and his expression changes into a serious look. "Kaoru, please do not take what she said seriously, she just doesn't understand about love…" He said seriously. "What matters is that I love you."

He pressed his lips against mine again, but didn't pull away; instead I pulled back as he pressed his hand against my chest. "I do not think we should kiss at school, Hikaru." I said, sternly. He rubbed his hand against my nipple, letting it harden under his touch. I push his hand away from my body and move away slightly.

"Kaoru, do you not love me as well?" Hikaru said with a slightly tentative voice that I'm sure he was only putting on because he wanted to kiss.

I winced as he asked the question. Of course I love him, but I resent the way he's trying to manipulate me. "Of course, Hikaru," I say, "but I do not want to kiss at school." I say with a slightly growl. I sigh and close my eyes, god I love him. I don't want to hurt him either, what if he decides to leave me if I say no? I don't want him to hate me. I sigh and press my lips against his, knowing that someone would probably find us. Thankfully no-one did.

I mentally return to the present when I realize that Hikaru is unbuttoning my night shirt. I push his hands away. "Hikaru," I sigh, "I do not want to do that this morning." I stare into his eyes, he knows that I do not want to, but I sense that he's going to try and manipulate me. It always happens, and somehow, when he says that he loves me I can't help but melt into his words and give into him. I don't think I should, though. I let him walk all over me and he never gives me any respect. I think that I give into my brother far too often; he won't learn any respect if I don't say no every so often.

It annoys me that he won't respect me. How can I make sure he respects me? I think I need to enforce it when I say no. I think I should really tell him to stop. I watch as his hands brush my fringe away… "No," I tell him firmly. He pulls back, slightly, shocked. It might be my imagination, but it looks as if he was going to continue. For a second, I ponder whether I should let him continue, but then I quickly get up and get dressed.

Before leaving the room, I turn to Hikaru and say firmly, "Please don't kick me out of bed again," I turn, but then, almost as an afterthought, I turn a smile, "twice, but not again."

The End…

Authoress notes: Originally, I wanted to write another story about how Hikaru pushes Kaoru out of bed that morning. Please note, however, that this story is not a continuation of "The only reason". In the story I wanted to note how forceful and selfish I've noticed that Hikaru can seem at some points.

Cattsy…