A/N

As of Dec 2018.

Let it be known, I hate this story. It has literally become everything I despise about Dramione Fanfiction, and yet I will leave it up because I hate when author's take down a fanfic just because they don't like it.

Enjoy this rubbish piece of writing.

Hermione was lecturing me again. We had just come back from the Christmas holidays, I had gone home which had been a very stupid mistake, I even had the scars to prove it.

"Are you even listening to me?" her voice breaking through my revere.

"Hm?" I made it a question by raising an eyebrow.

"Ugg, I don't know how you were chosen to become head boy. You're such a git, don't you care about anyone but yourself?"

"Ha-ha, not anymore," I said with a humorless laugh. Of course, I didn't care about anyone, I lost the one person I cared about in the war, my mother. There was no one else I cared about, sure I mean I shagged a few girls now and then, but that did not mean I cared about anyone. Caring hurt too much.

She huffed and stormed off up to her room. Really being head-boy wasn't so bad, good accommodations, special privileges and lots of privacy. As for the reason of me being selected, I had a suspicion they were trying to make Slytherins and Gryffindors get along more by trying and failing to get Hermione and I to be friends.

Not that I didn't like Granger, she was smart, albeit annoying sometimes, she was very beautiful and she didn't actually hate me like most people did, and she had a better understanding than most about what I went through during the war, but old habits die hard.

I heard her door slam, prodding me enough to get up off the couch and pull out my homework. We were about the only 7th years who decided to come back for an 8th one. I didn't really have too, but I did want to complete my education despite what people thought. I had the choice of either doing 300 hours of community service (for my part in the war) or returning to Hogwarts for the offered final year. It was a no-brainer really. A couple of us had returned but not a lot, Hermione and I, of course, Luna, Blaise and a Hufflepuff that I didn't know.

Potter and Weasel had taken jobs at the ministry, and whilst she could have easily gotten a job too, Granger like him had chosen to come back. They had some classes but not a lot, well that depended on whether you chose extra classes, like I know a certain Gryffindor did, or not.

Night fell and I was just finishing up my potions homework when Hermione came back down from her room. I looked up at her still figure as I finished off the last sentence, she was watching me as I packed up my things.

"May I help you with something?" I asked in a neutral tone. I didn't want to be snarky, yet I couldn't find it in myself to be nice just yet, though I think I was slowly getting better, it did help that she wasn't so stuck up all the time these days either.

"Well, I..." she stuttered apparently not prepared for direct confrontation "I was just wondering if you would like to come down to dinner with me? It's a long walk by one's self and,"

"Sure," I cut her off before she could start blubbering on about why walking was so boring, "I was about to head down myself actually," I said before getting up. Giving me a small smile she led the way out and down to the feast. It was odd for Granger to be stuttering, I wonder what she was thinking about before I talked to her?

We didn't have to sit together, but there was a table just for the head boy and girl and not really having any other friends or people we wanted to talk to, we sat together off to the side of the hall. It was quite a nice spot actually, next to the fire in winter and next to a window in summer.

We talked as we ate, the dishes in front of us changing all the time, we did have a small table so they couldn't just fit them all at once.

We talked about everyday things, the weather, school, at one point she even asked me about Quidditch, which was surprising I was pretty sure she didn't care much for the sport. While a lot of things about Hogwarts had changed the décor hadn't, and in the candlelight, Granger seemed to glow. I did notice that she seemed to look a lot better this year like she was either putting a lot more effort into her appearance or she had found a new way to tame her hair. It looked good though, not that I was about to tell her.

As we were walking back to our dorm I decided to actually ask how she was doing, it was a subject that we had avoided all night, we had discussed how everyone else was, but not so much ourselves.

"How are you handling everything?" I asked after she finished telling me what happened to her parents. I surprised look came across her face, and honestly how could I blame her? I wasn't really the sentimental type, at least not the way she knew me.

"Well, normally I would say I'm fine, that while it's difficult I'm doing okay and that you shouldn't worry about me." She said, which did confuse me at first but then she continued, "but you aren't a friend that I need to reassure, and you aren't about to worry about me, so honestly? Not very well."

I was curious, she seemed okay, on the outside, but then again, so did the rest of us, so I guess that wasn't exactly something to go off.

"I can barely sleep, and when I do it's filled with nightmares. I don't think I've smiled in a long time, Ron and I blew apart and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. The only thing going right is that my grades are still consistent." She blew out a breath and looked away, I was almost sure that I saw a tear.

"Yeah, sounds about right." I said, thinking of my own problems, "You look fine on the outside, but on the inside, where it counts, it's completely messed up."

She looked at me, apparently astounded that I could actually understand her problems, and not really knowing what to do I shrugged and entered the common room that we had reached while talking.