So, this one's really dirty. No actual sex, but it comes pretty darn close. You have been warned.

I'm not writing this from beyond the grave. I can't really think of where to go next with Duel Masters - Tournament, so I'm writing this. Go ahead and jerk off to this, if I did it right.

Calem opened his eyes and was greeted by a horribly colored sight. He was in a bedroom with rainbow-and-neon splattered paint walls. The room was quite big and had many luxuries. It took him a few seconds to look up and see who was lying over him.

"Hello, Calem. Welcome to the castle."

Serena was on top of Calem, in a black bra and panties.

"WHAT THE FU-MMMMM!" Calem screamed before having Serena's hand clapped over his mouth.

"Shh. I love you, Calem. Do you love me?" Serena asked Calem seductively.

"I like you as a friend, okay? Nothing more," Calem replied assertively.

"How do you like this as a friend?"

Serena then attacked his face and tried to make out with him before Calem rolled away and sped for the door. Serena chased after him, tackled him, and dragged Calem back onto the bed.

"I'm keeping you here until you love me. Make yourself comfortable, you're gonna be here awhile at this rate."

"I hate you!" Calem dove under the neon green covers and started to sob.

"Calem! I have something for you!" Serena said.

"Unless it's food, I don't want it!" Calem yelled.

"It is food. It's chocolate cake al á mode." His captor replied smartly.

"Hmm. I think I'll have a tr-WHOA!" Calem shouted upon seeing Serena's clothing. She was completely nude except for a G-string thong that just barely covered her genitalia.

"What? Do you have a problem with this outfit?"

"I know that you're in love with me but isn't that a bit extreme?" Calem asked nervously.

"I could be completely nude, if you wanted me to," Serena replied, pulling on the G-string.

"No! No thank you."

"Here comes the airplane, love!"

"Oh! I almost forgot."

Calem opened his mouth but instead of getting chocolate cake in his mouth, he got a hand on his chest.

RRRRRIIIPPP!

His undershirt flew off and landed beside the bed. He was now just in his jeans.

"Before you can have chocolate cake, you must give me some sugar. Make-out time, please?"

Before Calem could decline he felt Serena's lips upon his and went along with the program. Kiss after kiss after kiss. Serena was feeling his body and he was feeling hers. Calem could feel his penis throbbing and growing straighter.

Serena stopped for a second, grabbed the shaft and looked up at Calem.

"Not yet, love. The time will come."

After a few minutes of ardent passion, Serena unmerged her face with Calem and realized he had fainted when Serena had touched him in the crotch for the fourth time. Calem was rushed to the castle's ER.

Serena ran off to get a costume to wake him up in. It was a sexy nurse's costume obviously.

Calem came to a few hours later, and saw Serena in a sexy nurse's outfit. Calem sighed and got out of the bed. He didn't pay attention to Serena's outfit and walked straight past her and into the gardens.

How could he not notice me?

Calem went back to his room. Along the way through the gardens he noticed a pool.

"Well, I guess I should try it," he sighed.

Serena surprisingly brought all of his clothes with him when he was being brought to the island. He put on a pair of swim trunks and wandered back into the gardens to the pool.

Calem was just dangling his feet in the blue water and was thinking about how the heck he got here.

Maybe I was gassed and whisked away when I was asleep? What person would help Serena do that? The only person I can think of is Clemont. Even though he doesn't usually deal with gases, he could've invented a gassing machine. I don't remember what I was doing before I was here…

WHOOSH!

He felt his chest bare again. He looked behind him and there was Serena, wearing a electric blue string bikini.

"How do you like it? The bikini?" Serena asked flirtatiously.

"Um...sure, I like it." Calem responded.

"Here we go."

Next thing he knew he was on a chaise longue, Serena touching and kissing his body and brown hair all over.

"How did I get here?"

Serena didn't respond. She was kissing Calem's neck lustfully before moving her area more toward Calem's waist and moving her hand on his chest in a circular motion.

"Um...Serena?"

Serena stopped rubbing her hand in a circular motion and pressed her body even closer to Calem's body. She giggled and swept her hand up and down Calem's torso and abs repeatedly.

"SERENA! HOW DID I GET HERE?!"

Serena bit his ear, giggled again and continued moving her hand up and down Calem's body.

"SERENA! HOW! DID! I! GET! HERE?!"

She stopped moving, giggled, and explained, "I had Clemont create a sleep gas machine and had him use it on you after you had your 10th shot of whiskey. You were too drunk to even notice."

"Really? That's what happened?"

"Yup."

SMACK!

Serena had smacked Calem on his butt.

"Like that?"

"Yes...that felt...a bit...nice?" Calem responded.

"Good, now let me on top. Make-out."

"Wait, what?"

Serena lifted herself over Calem and ran her hand down Calem's upper body, before leaning in for the kill.

Serena's lips met Calem's, and they were lost in the moment. Serena lowered her scantily clad body nearer toward Calem, and delved deeper. Her dirty blond hair fell over Calem's body. Calem's tongue met Serena's. Calem pushed his hand back toward the pool chair, and continued the French kiss.

Mmph. Mmm-mmph.

Serena then completely dropped herself onto Calem's body. She then paused.

"Do you think an erect penis is sharp enough to pierce this tiny bikini?" Serena asked Calem seductively while running her finger across his chest.

"Wow. Is is really that straight and erect? Then again, how thick is the bikini?"

"As thick as 15 sheets of printer paper. Double then again, this bikini is made with the usual materials, just a little bit thinner. Let's continue."

They continued to French kiss and move their hands all over each other's beautiful bodies.

"I'm really hot. I'm sweating," commented Calem.

"Me, too. I guess that really only means one thing," Serena started to take off her bikini.

"NONONONO. Not yet, I'm not ready," Calem said, stopping her.

"Aw."

So there it is. Please review. Tell me what I should do with Duel Masters Tournament.