I found this particular fanfiction while cleaning out some of my old files on my computer. After reading through it I thought it would be fun to sort of replicate it. So, I'd just like to say before I start this that the concept is not mine, and actually, the concept isn't the person's who I'm sort of copying it from. Apparently it belongs to someone that goes by the name "TheresaGreen" and their LOTR fanfiction. So…yeah…but anyway, what this other person did was for Death Note, but I think it'll work just as well for Hetalia…hopefully it hasn't been done yet…actually, I honestly think it hasn't, but if it has then I apologize and I'll remove it.
On another note, I'm not one hundred percent sure if it counts as a fanfic…so if it doesn't then I apologize for that as well v.v, but I think it'll be fun and hopefully won't go against the TOS. If it does, then I will gladly remove it and just keep it for my own personal kicks and giggles :3.
So on a final note, I don't really own anything…I don't own Hetalia, I don't really own the original concept, but the idea of putting Hetalia and this concept together I suppose I can accept…sort of…yeah…
Enjoy =3=…
Alfred F. Jones (America): The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Hello! Allies Incorporated is proud to present to you the newly remodeled AMERICA unit. This manual was created to insure you top performance from your favorite self proclaimed hero. There are several easily accessible and user friendly sections in this manual including FAQ and Troubleshooting, which are located at the end. It is highly recommended that you read everything word for word, especially if you don't want your personal hero to run rampant.
Technical Specifications:
Name: Alfred F. Jones; however he also answers to: Alfred, Hero, Mr. Awesome, and Defender of Justice
Birthdate: July 4th (differs from DoM)
Lifespan (starting from activation): Indefinite
Height:
Weight:
Length: Super sized :D
Date of Manufacture (DoM): Today
Place of Manufacture: Hero-Mart, Hetalia Incorporated
Note: The AMERICA unit, like all of Hetalia Incorporated units, will grow into a mature country once activated, or until they decided to rebel and demand independence. If you wish to remove this feature, simply feed them one of the ENGLAND unit's scones. All software pertaining to growth will deteriorate, as will it shorten their lifespan.
Your AMERICA unit Comes with the Following Items:
Bomber jacket
Tan military issue officer's uniform
Pair of black military issue boots
Pair of black military issue officers shoes
Pair of glasses
Revolutionary War uniform
Revolutionary War issued rifle
Dress suit
Cowboy outfit
X50 Hamburgers
X50 French fries
X50 Milkshakes
X50 Ice creams
X50 Bottles of cola
When first opening the box, you may find that the AMERICA unit is highly depended on you. You needn't worry, simply leave him alone for long periods of time and he will grow out of it.
Programming:
The AMERICA unit comes with several different functions and modes. Below are the few occupations he has an aptitude for:
Colony: AMERICA's first occupation
Rebel: AMERICA units are HIGHLY independent and as such excel at doing things their own way. It is usually best not to get in an AMERICA unit's way when in this stage. The likely hood of them declaring war and independence on you are increased by about eighty percent.
Soldier: AMERICA units are very strong and have a tendency to try and fight other people's battles. While this is a nice feature for those who suffer from constant bullying at school, it can get rather annoying after a while, despite the AMERICA unit's good intentions.
Cowboy: A rather short lived feature, but handy none the less…and good for those special fangirls who want to see the hero in a pair of sexy cowhide chaps.
Center of Attention: AMERICA unit's love attention, they strive for attention, they live for attention. Hosting a party? It's a guarantee that it'll be a smash if your AMERICA unit is in plain sight.
Hero: This coincides with the Soldier occupation, AMERICA units are very adept to protecting those close to them and as such make very good bodyguards. It also helps that they love the thrill of coming to the rescue. However, one must be wary, they have a tendency on showing up at the very last minute for a "flashy" entrance…
Your AMERICA unit Comes in the Following Modes:
Hero (default)
Hungry
Over Achiever
Inventor (locked)
Diet (locked)
Out of Character – OOC (locked)
There is often confusion between the AMERICA unit's default, Hero Mode from Over Achiever Mode, however, here are some distinctions between the two.
Over Achiever Mode, while very easily activated, usually only happens when the AMERICA unit is given a specific task that interests him. Some examples of this would be introducing him to a RUSSIA unit, ultimately the two will strike up a rivalry and constantly try to out do the other. This mode can also unlock the Inventor Mode.
Inventor Mode is usually very interesting when first activated. The AMERICA unit will start creating either a well known product or something completely new. This mode will grow very old very quickly however, seeing as this mode is usually only activated when in Over Achiever Mode, the AMERICA unit will make mass quantities of said product, this making them impossible to sell for profit…in fact, there will be so many that you won't even be able to give them away, thus resulting in a stock market crash.
Also, this will make relations with other unit's very shaky, save for the RUSSIA unit who is unaffected either way.
Unlike other Hetalia Incorporated units, AMERICA units can consume vast amounts of calories without gaining any weight. Especially when the AMERICA unit is in Hungry Mode, which has proven to be a set back to most buyers due to the fact that McDonalds can get very expensive when it's demanded for every meal for several weeks on end. If your AMERICA unit consumes over 25,000 calories in a day and then disappears into the bathroom for several hours, the AMERICA unit has unlocked the Diet Mode.
When your AMERICA unit unlocks Diet Mode, he will spend every waking moment trying different forms of losing weight while frequenting the bathroom to stand on the scale. This mode is probably the most amusing due to the fact that he doesn't know he has a fast metabolism and the weight he's gained is all muscle. Though it is not recommended calling him fat…
To unlock the AMERICA unit's OOC Mode, you simply have to introduce him to either an ENGLAND unit in Drunk Mode or a CANADA unit in Rage Mode. It also helps if the AMERICA unit is in Diet Mode, since both the ENGLAND and CANADA unit's will most likely call him fat when they're in those modes.
For the yaoi fangirls out there, if you want your AMERICA unit to have a relationship with any other unit of the opposite sex, first make sure that your AMERICA unit is in its default Hero Mode. Then, depending on which unit you want him to have a relationship with, have him do something heroic.
One example would be, if an ENGLAND unit is in Waiter Mode, have your AMERICA unit defend him if say a FRANCE unit tries to molest him. This will then unlock both of their OOC Mode's, from there you simply need to have your AMERICA unit be unwittingly charming. The ENGLAND unit will be reluctant at first, but will soon grow to love your AMERICA unit.
Unit's that are capable of having intimate relationships with AMERICA unit's are; ENGLAND, RUSSIA, CANADA, BELARUS, JAPAN, SEYCHELLES, and FRANCE.
Relations With Other Units:
ENGLAND: ENGLAND units and AMERICA units are actually very close to begin with. While the two very rarely get along with each other, the AMERICA unit still holds a certain level of respect for ENGLAND units and ENGLAND units hold a sort of fatherly/brotherly bond with AMERICA units.
CANADA: Which unit is this again?
RUSSIA: RUSSIA units are the AMERICA unit's arch rival. They often throw insults at one another and try to out do each other on several occasions. However, both RUSSIA and AMERICA units hold a certain level of understanding for each other and in the end probably won't try to kill each other.
JAPAN: One of the only units AMERICA units can honestly call a friend, after ENGLAND units that is. While the two started off friendly, there was a moment where they were not, but in the end they became friends again…AMERICA units often borrow things from JAPAN units and have a tendency to forget to return them…
FRANCE: While AMERICA and FRANCE units were once allies, now AMERICA units believe that it is a FRANCE units sole purpose to oppose any suggestion he makes.
CUBA: AMERICA units and CUBA units don't get along…
Note: AMERICA units are very, if not too, charismatic and as such, believe they have more friends than they really do.
Cleaning:
AMERICA units are often too busy being Hero's to remember to bathe on a regular basis. However, AMERICA units can pull of the rugged manly smell surprisingly well. If that is not your cup of tea or ENGLAND units start sending threatening letters insisting that he bathe, it is recommended that you bribe your AMERICA unit with hamburgers. If that doesn't work, simply tell him that you have ice cream. Your AMERICA unit will then go into a fit of happiness (Hungry Mode), run at you, slip on a strategically placed fruit peel, break his leg and get a concussion. While he will be a little peeved that you tricked him, he will at least have his ice cream and you'll be able to give him a sponge bath in the hospital. Either that, or watch him get a sponge bath, or watch him get a sponge bath from an ENGLAND unit. In the end, he will be clean …
Feeding and Rest:
AMERICA units are more than capable in feeding themselves, however, getting them to sleep is a job in itself. This will take about as much thought as trying to get them to take a bath; but, once you have successfully gotten them to go to sleep, it's darn near impossible to get them to wake back up again.
Note: Doing the ice cream thing again is usually the recommended way to wake him up…either that or find either a FRANCE unit in Amore Mode or an ENGLAND unit in Drunk Mode to molest him in his sleep…he'll wake up eventually but then at least you'll have scandalous photo's to blackmail him with later.
Disposal:
Simple, hand him over to rabid yaoi fangirls with RUSSIA units…your former AMERICA unit probably won't like you after that though…but chances of seeing him again are slim to none.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ):
Question: My AMERICA unit isn't growing, is he defective?
Answer: No, you're simply giving him too much love and attention…we know he's cute, but if you want him to mature, you have to leave him alone. We recommend locking him in a closet for a few days…
Q: What happens if my AMERICA unit has a strange love for pancakes?
A: You have a CANADA unit… CA-NA-DA!
Q: A few days after my AMERICA unit matured, he started staying out late at night and one time he came back with a tattoo saying "F-CK YEAH!" on his butt. Is that normal?
A: That's normal...we think……..on his butt you say? Are there pictures? (cough)
Q: There are tons of ENGLAND units out on my lawn, they all look very angry. What should I do?!
A: Your AMERICA unit probably either insulted their cooking or their eyebrows, it is recommended that you throw your AMERICA unit's baby clothes out the window. This will make the ENGLAND units go into Memory Lane Mode…in which case, they may go away to reminisce or they may stay on your lawn with misty eyes muttering things about "the old days".
Q: Now there are yaoi fangirls on my lawn…but my AMERICA unit can't read the atmosphere and thinks it's a party. What should I do?
A: Tell him it's a party….
Q: I tried dressing up like a hamburger to see if my AMERICA unit would eat me…he just stared at me with this sort of vacant look on his face. What's up with that?
A: You may have broken his brain, AMERICA units are not stupid…not really…but you should try getting either a CANADA or an ENGLAND unit to do that. You'll get interesting results. Note: AMERICA unit's OOC Mode can be unlocked this way as well.
Trouble Shooting:
Problem: You come home to find your AMERICA unit huddled in a corner, lying in a fetal position, crying.
Solution: Your or someone else's CANADA unit came over to visit while in Rage Mode. Console by placing a hamburger on his head.
Problem: You buy an ENGLAND unit in order to unlock your AMERICA unit's many locked features. However, nothing happens when they are first put together.
Solution: Get your new ENGLAND unit drunk…
Final Note:
With proper guidance and care, your AMERICA unit will become a great hero! His warranty is good until death (yours or his), and may be voided if he gets captured by a RUSSIA unit.
Thank you for buying this product.
Have a wonderful day :D
That was rather fun…I think I may do another one! 8D
Oh yes, and I found out who it was that made the Death Note one, it was someone by the name of TAXI unit. I think that's their name…I'm not one hundred percent sure…
Well anyway…yeah…I sort of figured that if they were fine doing one for Death Note as long as proper credit was given, then I figured that my doing one for Hetalia is fine. I am giving credit to the two who started this idea. At least I'm assuming they started it…I don't know OTL.
I just hope you guys enjoy this DX