NOTE: This was made with the song Celmisia by Kanon Wakeshima, and centers around an altered reality of Sakura's experience when Sasuke leaves the village. This will not be SasuSaku, although it will be mentioned briefly - it is GaaSaku. With that in mind, please enjoy.

I stayed close to you, always. I changed myself, tried to make myself more appealing to the cold, distant you. I broke apart relationships and spurned new opportunities, all for the slight chance at winning the game - the game for your unreachable heart. I hated myself, when given small moments of clarity, for what my affection would have me do. And all for someone who didn't care a whit, for a person who left us all behind on a foolish pursuit of vengeance.

I ran after you. I begged, I pleaded, I spilled my soul in the rain to you. You didn't care. I was childish, immature. I offered myself to you. You told me no, and laid me, unconscious, on a bench. Yet, I still remained loyal, pathetically attached to you, who didn't care.

Now, who am I to be?

I've always chased after you, the unattainable, appealing goal, the impossible reward for a long journey. Now that I've been denied, what am I to do? Am I still even myself, or a mere imposter chained to a stone heart?

"You are looking especially ugly today, Sakura." I am left with an emotionless imitation that further breaks my thoroughly-shattered esteem, a sensei giving perverted advice, and a friend chasing after Hinata while remaining an idiot.

I will be honest today, I have decided. "Thanks, Sai." I will not punch him - I haven't the heart to do so, not when I feel ugly inside and out. I merely sigh and sit in our little group. I pay no attention to Kakashi's disappearing eyebrows, or the way Naruto chokes on whatever he planned to say previously. Sai seems faintly surprised for a second before mumbling and jotting down notes in his ever-growing collection. I simply put my head in my hands and resist the urge to cry and embarrass myself further.

I barely hear Kakashi-sensei announce today's mission - reconnaissance with Sand. I cannot find it in myself to care. I am still caught between the absent you, and the current, pathetic me that you left behind. I hide my face and bite my lip to stem the tears building pressure behind my eyes.

We set out immediately, jumping through trees, and as my feet touch each branch with precision, I let a few tears fall. They drop to the ground, unnoticed and unmissed, as we race on.

A/N - Hello again, everyone. I apologize for my absence. To (hopefully) make up for some of my disappearance, I come bearing an angsty hurt/comfort romance fic. Please accept my humble offering - this will be a multi-chapter fic. I'll be dividing my work-free time between this fanfic and the others I've neglected. Thank you for reading, and for staying with me despite my inconsistencies.