Let's start by saying that I ship St. Berry so hard, it hurts. Let's proceed.
At first, Jesse was just a distraction from Finn. Just a way to prove that she was pretty, hot, desirable, to prove that someone could want her. She needed Finn, the glee club, the whole student body to know that she wasn't just 'Manhands', and that someone did appreciate her for exactly as she was.
At first.
Slowly she began to notice how b e a u t i f u l it was when he smiled, how his eyes sparkled and his face lit up whenever he looked at her, how he sounded so much better than Finn when he sang quietly to her when they were alone (how she thought Finn would ever be able to keep up with her vocally was ludicrous). She loved how his hands felt on her stomach when he would wrap his arms around her from behind and plant a kiss on her neck.
s l o w ly she began to fall in love with him.
She pretended not to hear what her team-mates were saying...spy...traitor...liar...dick. Ok, only Noah said the last one, but they still affected her.
So when he showed up at her Glee club and announced to everyone that he was in love with her all she could do was sit there grinning from ear to ear, her cheeks aching. She didn't even notice Finn watching them jealously, all she could do was lean her head onto his shoulder and breathe in his scent, that Jesse scent that made everything alright.
Eventually, she realized that she knew practically everything about him. She knew his favourite colour was royal blue, he loved it when her cheeks flamed red, when the birds where chirping outside her window he would watch them flit around the sky. She knew the way he breathed when he slept. When she woke up in the morning and tried to get out of his embrace he would refuse and hold on tightly. She wasn't in love with Jesse St. James, ex Vocal Adrenaline lead, she was in love with Jesse, the 'boy who was crazy about her'.
So when she triple casts him in that stupidstupidstupid video, she knows she's made a big mistake. She doesn't even need to look at him, she can feel his body tense up as he processes it. And even though Finn's looking at her with those disappointed eyes, and Noah's shouting, the only thing that's really, truly hurting her, is the fact that Jesse just won't look at her.
When he transfers back to Carmel, she pretends it doesn't her, she laughs it off. When Finn tells her he loves her, she can't say it back. Because even though he cracked an egg on her head ('break it like you broke my heart'), he whispered those 3 words just loud enough for her to hear. And she knows he meant them.
But Vocal Adrenaline win Regionals, and Jesse goes to UCLA, and she gets together with Finn, and she's happy (even though sometimes she longs for bright blue eyes and smooth curly hair and a voice that sounds like heaven) because, after all, Jesse was just a distraction from Finn, right?
This is so bad, but reviews are always nice!(: