Captain Underpants 3: The Invasion Of The Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies From Outer Space (And The Subsequent Assault Of The Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds)
by: Brockster550
No copyright intended, the fanfic is all I own
Ch. 1
George, Harold and Emily
This is George Beard, Harold Hutchins and Emily Krupp. George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flat top. Harold is the one on the right with the t-shirt and the bad haircut. Emily is the only girl in the middle with shoulder-length blonde hair kept straight, a polka dot blouse and a red overall skirt. Remember that now.
If you were looking for a few words to describe George, Harold and Em (Emily's nickname George and Harold picked), you might come up with funny, kind, smart, deep and determined. Just ask their principal, Mr. Krupp (who is also Emily's uncle). He'll say that George and Harold are kinda funny looking smart alecks who are determined to drive everybody off the deep end, and he'll say that George and Harold have brainwashed Em (or Emily is his preference), his sweet little niece and brought her into their trouble making world. But don't listen to him. George, Harold and Em are actually very clever and good hearted kids. Their only problem is that they're fourth graders. And at George, Harold and Em's school, fourth graders are expected to sit still and pay attention for seven hours a day. George, Harold and Em are just not very good at that.
The only thing George, Harold and Em are good at is being silly. Unfortunately, their silliness gets them into trouble every now and then. Sometimes, it would get them into BIG trouble. And one time, it got them into SO MUCH trouble that it almost caused the entire Earth to be destroyed by an army of evil giant zombie nerds. But before I can tell you that story. I have to tell you this story.
Ch. 2
The Evil Space Guys
One dark and clear night in Piqua, Ohio, a flaming object was seen streaking across the quiet midnight sky. It shone brightly for a second or two, and then fizzled out just above Jerome Horwitz Elementary School. Nobody gave it a second thought.
The next day, everything seemed pretty normal. Nobody noticed anything different about the school. Nobody paid attention to the roof. And, of course, nobody even looked up and said, "Hey, what's that big spaceship thingy doing on the roof of our school?"
Perhaps if they had, the whole ordeal that followed might never have happened, and you wouldn't be sitting here reading about it right now. But they didn't, it did, and, well, here we are. As we can all plainly see, there was a spaceship on top of the building. And inside the spaceship were three of the most evil, hideous, and merciless spacemen ever to set foot on the roof of a small midwestern school. Their names were Zorx, Klax, and Jennifer. Their mission? To take over planet Earth.
"First," said Zorx. "We must find a way to infiltrate the school."
"Then," said Klax. "We will turn all the children into giant, super powered, evil zombie nerds!"
"Finally," said Jennifer. "We will use them to take over the world!"
Zorx and Klax laughed.
"SILENCE, you FOOLS!" barked Jennifer. "If our plan is to work, we must wait until it is narratively convenient. In the meantime, we will watch their every move on our trinocloscope!"
Ch. 3
Fun With Science
Early that same morning, George, Harold and Em were sitting in their 10:15 a.m. science class, making funny noises. Their science teacher is Mr. Fyde, who (unlike most of the teachers and staff at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School) isn't a mean teacher and doesn't resort to yelling.
"Meeeoooowwwww!" Em mewed softly, without moving her lips.
"Rrrr-rrr-rrrr!" growled Harold, without opening his mouth.
"Mmm-mmmm-mmmmm!" mooed George, without moving his lips.
"There it is again," exclaimed Mr. Fyde. "I distinctly heard a cat, a dog and a cow in here!"
"We didn't hear anything!" the other children said, while trying not to laugh.
"I-I must be hearing things again!" Mr. Fyde worried.
"Maybe you should leave and go see a doctor." said George with concern.
"I can't," explained Mr. Fyde. "Today is the day of the big volcano experiment."
All the children groaned. Mr. Fyde's science experiments were usually the most idiotic things on earth. They almost never worked, and were always boring. But today's experiment was different. Mr. Fyde brought in a large, fake volcano made out of papier-mache. He filled the volcano with a box of ordinary baking soda.
"Baking soda is also called 'sodium bicarbonate.'" explained Mr. Fyde.
"Meeeeooooowwwww!"
"Um..." said Mr. Fyde. "Did any of you children just hear... um, never mind." Then he opened a bottle of clear liquid.
"Now watch what happens when I pour vinegar into the baking soda." he said.
The children watched as the volcano started to rumble. Soon, a large glob spurted out from the top. The goop poured out over the desk, and dripped onto the floor, creating a huge mess.
"Oops," said Mr. Fyde in surprise. "I guess I used too much baking soda."
George, Harold and Em were stunned, finally seeing an experiment that was worthwhile.
"How did you do that?" asked Harold.
"Well," said Mr. Fyde. "The vinegar acts as a liberating agent. The two ingredients don't mix, so the vinegar releases the gaseous carbonate radical element of the sodium bicarbo..."
"Meeeeoooowwwwww!"
"Umm...uh!" paused Mr. Fyde. "Uh, e-excuse me, children. I-I've got to go see a doctor."
Mr. Fyde put on his coat and hurried out the door. George, Harold and Em got up and studied the messy volcano experiment with great interest. The bell rang, so the three walked out to head to the gym, since they have gym class next. Then they looked at one another.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked George.
"I think I'm thinking what you're thinking," said Harold. "How about you Em?"
"I think I'm thinking what you two are thinking." said Em, giggling.
The three kids continued laughing on their way to the gym.
Ch. 4
The Setup
The school day was finally over for the day, so George, Harold and Em skateboarded over to George's house to get down to business. When the three kids got to George's house, Harold and Em headed to the treehouse, while George walked into his house to get three drinking glasses. Inside the treehouse, Harold got a milk carton out of their small refrigerator and a package of chocolate chip cookies from the junk food cupboard, while Em got out some white construction paper, a pair of scissors, a box of crayons and a few pencils from their padlocked crate. Once George made it up to the treehouse, he, Harold and Em sat down on their respective fluffy chairs at their drawing table and began creating a bogus cupcake recipe. The three couldn't help but laugh while they were working.
"We'll just add a box of baking soda and a bottle of vinegar to the recipe." said George. "And whoever makes these cupcakes will get a big surprise!"
"Let's add two boxes of baking soda and two bottles of vinegar. That way they'll get an even bigger surprise!" suggested Harold.
"Great idea." Em giggled.
The three continued laughing as they worked.
Ch. 5
Mr. Krupp's Crispy Krupcakes
The next morning at school, George, Harold and Em strolled into the cafeteria and taped a festive-looking card to the kitchen door. About five to ten minutes later, the lunch ladies arrived, noticed the card, opened it, and pulled the contents out.
"Oh, look!" said Miss Creant, the head lunch lady. "Today is Mr. Krupp's birthday, and he'd like us to make a batch of cupcakes just for him! Isn't that cute?"
"I've got an idea," said the cook, Mrs. DePoint. "Why don't we surprise him and make cupcakes for the whole school!"
"Good thinking." said Miss Entry, the food server.
Miss Creant looked over the ingredient list.
"Well, the recipe serves 10 for one batch," she explained. "And we have about 1,000 people in this school, so we'll need: 100 eggs, 150 cups of flour, 200 boxes of baking soda, 7 quarts of green food coloring, 50 sticks of butter, 150 cups of sugar, and... let's see... oh yes, 200 bottles of vinegar."
So the lunch ladies scurried around the kitchen, gathering everything that was needed. They dumped the eggs, food coloring, milk, baking soda, sugar and flour into a large vat, and began mixing it thoroughly. Then Miss Entry started to pour the vinegar in...
Ch. 6
Here Comes The Green Goop!
As you might've guessed, the green goop exploded, crashing through the kitchen doors, and spilling out into the hallways, where it swallowed up everything in it's path. There was nothing that could stand in it's way. The lunch ladies weren't very thrilled about the whole mess that just happened. They were mad that they fell for the bogus cupcake recipe, they realized that they should've known that baking soda and vinegar didn't mix. It wasn't long before the green goop started spilling into the classrooms.
"Uh-oh," said George. "Something tells me the lunch ladies made more than just one batch of Mr. Krupp's Crispy Krupcakes."
"But-but that was their idea, not ours." said Harold.
"Well, I have an idea." said Em.
"What?" asked Harold.
"RUN!" cried Em as the three started running to avoid the green goop.
After the last of the goop stopped moving, George, Harold and Em walked out into the hallway (which was sticky) for a minute.
"This was the lunch ladies fault," stated George. "This wasn't expected to happen!"
"Yeah," agreed Harold. "Since mixing a large amount was their idea, they are responsible for this!"
"That's right," said Em. "We have no involvement with this disaster!"
Ch. 7
The Wrath Of The Cafeteria Ladies
The school was such a green, goopy mess that an early dismissal had to be called in, so the cleaning crew can get the school cleaned up. It wasn't easy, since it required more than just doing it by hand, several cleaning machines were brought in to try to tackle the job. By the next morning, the school was still a bit sticky, but cleaned enough for school to resume. By that afternoon, as the cleaning crew continued cleaning the sticky green classrooms and sticky green hallways, the lunch ladies had a meeting with Mr. Krupp in his sticky green office.
"But it wasn't even my birthday!" cried Mr. Krupp.
"We know you had nothing to do with it. We think the ones responsible are those three awful kids: George, Harold and Emily!" said Miss Creant through gritted teeth.
She and the other two lunch ladies refused to accept that they were the ones responsible for the mess (since it was their idea, after all).
"Well Duh!" said Mr. Krupp, rolling his eyes. "Of course it was George and Harold, who are also ruining my niece's mind! But do you have any proof?"
"PROOF?" shouted the lunch ladies with rage.
"Why, George, Harold and Emily are always playing tricks on us!" yelled an outraged Miss Creant. "Every day they change the letters around on the lunch sign, they put pepper into our napkin dispensers, they unscrew the caps off the saltshakers, they start food fights, they go sledding on our lunch trays, they make everybody laugh so milk squirts out of their noses, and THEY ARE CONSTANTLY CREATING THESE AWFUL COMIC BOOKS ABOUT US!"
The comic book Miss Creant showed Mr. Krupp was called: Captain Underpants And The Night Of The Living Lunch Ladies.
The lunch ladies have never had so much anger inside of them. The fact that they were the ones really responsible for the green goop flooding the school yesterday just somehow didn't get through to them.
"We're fed up with those kids!" cried Miss Creant. "They're always making fun of our cooking!"
"Yeah, our food isn't that bad. In fact, it's actually very good!" said Mrs. DePoint.
"Yeah," agreed Miss Entry. "I ate here once and didn't really get sick at all!"
"Well, I can't punish them if we don't have any proof!" stated Mr. Krupp.
"Fine," said the lunch ladies with anger. "Then we quit!"
"Ladies, ladies, be reasonable! You can't quit on such short notice." cried Mr. Krupp.
But the lunch ladies didn't care. They marched right out of Mr. Krupp's sticky green office, and that was the end of that.
"Rats!" cried Mr. Krupp. "Now where am I gonna find three new lunch ladies by tomorrow morning?"
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Three very large women wearing lots of makeup walked into the office.
"Hello," said the first woman. "My name is Zorxette. And these are my sisters, Klaxette and Jenniferette. We've come to apply for the job as cafeteria ladies!"
"Wow," said a surprised Mr. Krupp, realizing that that was quick. "Do you have any experience?"
"No." said Klaxette. "We don't!"
"Do you have any credentials?" asked Mr. Krupp.
"No." said Zorxette. "None of that either!"
"Do you have any references?" asked Mr. Krupp.
"No." said Jenniferette. "Not a one!"
"You're hired!" said Mr. Krupp.
"Wonderful," said Jenniferette. "Now, our plan to take over... uh, I mean our plan to feed the children healthy, nutritional meals is now underway!"
The three new lunch ladies left the office laughing while they walked to the cafeteria to get prepared.
"Well, now that was easy. Now to take care of George, Harold and Emily!" said Mr. Krupp with an evil smile.
Ch. 8
Busted
George, Harold and Em were in study hall when they heard the dreaded announcement over the intercom: "George Beard, Harold Hutchins and Emily Krupp, please report to Mr. Krupp's office immediately."
"Oh no!" gasped Harold.
"We're busted!" cried Em.
"No way!" said George. "Remember, the lunch ladies were at fault for yesterday's disaster. We didn't do it, it was an accident!"
The three entered Mr. Krupp's office hoping to sort it all out, but Mr. Krupp was not as understanding.
"I can't prove it," he said to George and Harold. "But I know you two are responsible for yesterday's disaster, and for tricking Emily into joining your scheme!"
Em shook her head (as if to say that they weren't involved with the disaster), which her uncle ignored.
"So," Mr. Krupp continued, now also facing Em. "I'm punishing you three by taking away your cafeteria privileges for the rest of the school year. No more cafeteria food for you three!"
"No more cafeteria food?" whispered Harold. "I thought he said he was gonna punish us."
"Yeah," said George. "Maybe if we're really bad, he'll take away our homework privileges, too."
"I HEARD THAT!" screamed Mr. Krupp. "From now on, for the rest of the school year, the three of you will have to pack your own lunches and eat in my office, so I can keep an eye on you three!"
Em shook her head again, again Mr. Krupp ignored it.
"Rats!" said Harold.
"But it wasn't our fault!" George protested. "IT WASN'T OUR FAULT!"
"Too bad bub," said Mr. Krupp.
Then the three kids left Mr. Krupp's office. The principal continued glaring at George and Harold behind their backs.
"Wow," said Em, surprised. "This is the first time we got in trouble for something that we didn't do!"
"Unless you count all the times we didn't do our homework." said Harold.
"Oh yeah, about that!" said George jokingly.
Ch. 9
Brown Baggin' It
The next day at lunch, the three kids brought their own sandwiches. George had a peanut butter and gummy worm sandwich, Harold had a tuna salad with chocolate chips and miniature marshmallows sandwich, while Em brought a strawberries with broccoli in mustard sandwich. Then they each traded half of their respective sandwiches, with Harold getting George's half, Em getting Harold's half, and George getting Em's half.
"This is delicious," said Em. "Hey George, do you have anything I can dip my sandwich into?"
"I have some barbecue sauce, and ranch dressing." said George, pulling tubs of the respective sauces out.
"Barbecue sauce will do." said Em.
"I'd like the ranch dressing please." said Harold as George handed the barbecue sauce and ranch dressing to Em and Harold respectively.
"You kids have weird taste buds!" screeched Mr. Krupp, who was eating a banana.
Later on, George, Harold and Em started eating potato chips topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. Em even brought out some hard boiled eggs with chocolate syrup and skittles.
"This must be dessert, then." said George.
"Yeah George," said Em. "I even brought some ketchup and some extra mustard as well, just in case."
"Tasty!" said Harold. "Could you hand me some of that ketchup, Em?"
"Here you go, Harold." said Em as she handed it to him.
This caused Mr. Krupp to turn green, he can't stand the smell of hard boiled eggs, but those dipped in other sauces of any kind made it worse for him.
"AAAUUUUGGGHHHHH!" screamed Mr. Krupp, whose gag reflex was starting to fail him. "I can't take it anymore!"
So he got up and stumbled out the door for some fresh air.
"You know," said Harold. "Now that Mr. Krupp is gone, we can go to the cafeteria and change the letters around on the lunch sign."
"Great idea." said George.
So he, Harold and Em sneaked to the cafeteria. But when they read the lunch sign, they were confused.
"What's going on here?" asked George.
"Maybe somebody already changed the sign." said Em.
"Forget the sign," said Harold, pointing with his finger. "Look at everybody, they've changed!"
It was true. All the students and teachers were entering the cafeteria looking normal. But they were leaving the cafeteria looking quite different.
"Look," said George. "They are all wearing broken eyeglasses held together with masking tape."
"Yikes!" gasped Em. "They even have vinyl pocket protectors!"
"They even have gray and clammy skin!" noticed Harold.
"This means that they've turned into... ZOMBIE NERDS!" Em gasped again.
"I'm afraid so, Em." said George.
"I wonder if they're friendly!" said Harold.
"I've never heard of friendly zombie nerds." stated George.
"Well, I'm afraid." said Harold.
"Well, there's no time for that!" explained George.
"We have to get to the bottom of this!" Em explained seriously.
"That's what I'm afraid of." said Harold.
Ch. 10
The Bottom Of This
George, Harold and Em sneaked into the kitchen after crawling through the cafeteria. They hid behind a table, eavesdropping in on the space aliens plans to take over the world.
"Look at all those puny earthlings!" laughed Zorx. "They're all drinking Zombie Nerd Milkshakes and transforming before our eyes!"
"It won't be long now," said Klax. "Tomorrow, we'll feed them Super Evil Rapid-Growth Juice! Then they will grow to the size of Xleqxisfp trees."
"Exactly," sneered Jennifer. "Then we will unleash our giant evil zombie nerds upon the earth, and soon the planet will be OURS!"
The three evil space guys threw back their heads and laughed hysterically.
"We've got to tell my uncle about this!" insisted Em.
"Right." agreed George while Harold reached up and pulled the juice carton off the table.
"Let's pour the juice out the window first." said Harold.
"Good idea," said George. "That way, it won't do any damage."
While the naughty cafeteria ladies continued laughing over their apparent victory, George quietly emptied the carton of Super Evil Rapid-Growth Juice out the window (unaware that he did so on a dandelion). Then he, Harold and Em sneaked out quietly while the aliens continued laughing, then the three went to their respective lockers to get their backpacks, just in case they were needed. Then they started heading back to the principal's office.
"Mr. Krupp is never gonna believe that the cafeteria ladies are really space aliens, and that they turned everybody into zombie nerds!" said Harold.
"Sure he'll believe us," said George. "He has to believe us! I hope he believes us."
Ch. 11
He Doesn't Believe Them
As soon as George, Harold and Em told Mr. Krupp what happened, he just laughed as if it was a joke.
"That's the most ridiculous story I ever heard!" he chuckled.
"But it's true, uncle!" cried Em.
"Yeah," said George. "Everybody has been turned into an evil zombie nerd. The students, teachers... EVERYBODY!"
"All right," said Mr. Krupp. "I'll prove it to you." So he pressed the button on the intercom and called for his secretary.
Soon, Miss Anthrope entered the room. She was dressed in a polka dot polyester dress, with orthopedic knee high stockings and ugly brown arch support loafers.
"See?" said Harold. "She's dressed like a nerd."
"She always dresses like that!" snapped Mr. Krupp.
"But she's gray and clammy and reeks of zombified death!" cried George.
"She always smells like that," argued Mr. Krupp. "And she's always gray and clammy, too."
George, Harold and Em had to admit that school secretaries were not good subjects to compare and contrast with evil zombie nerds. Then, with little warning, Miss Anthrope leaned over and took a huge bite out of Mr. Krupp's desk, much to Mr. Krupp's shock.
"Must destroy Earth!" moaned Miss Anthrope as she took another bite.
Mr. Krupp finally realized that Miss Anthrope was acting a bit more evil than usual. So George, Harold and Em took Mr. Krupp to the cafeteria to confront the space aliens dressed as lunch ladies. Then, out of the shadows stepped the evil Zorx.
"GOTCHA!" he cried as he grabbed Harold's shoulders.
"AAAUUUUUUGGHHHH!" Harold screamed as he squirmed away, pulling Zorx's gloves off in the process, revealing two green slimy tentacles.
"See uncle," said Em, pointing one of her fingers at the tentacles. "We told you they were space aliens!" A stunned Mr. Krupp gave his niece apologetic eyes.
"YOU FOOLS!" yelled Zorx. "YOU have blown our cover, and now we'll destroy you!"
So he pointed a tentacle at the four and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, Mr. Krupp began to change. A heroic grin had spread across Mr. Krupp's face. He threw out his chest and placed his fists firmly at his sides, looking quite triumphant.
"Oh, no," said George. "That space guy just snapped his fingers, and now Mr. Krupp is changing into you-know-who!"
"Wait, hold on a second," said Harold. "Tentacles don't have fingers, you can't snap a tentacle!"
"This is no time to argue the physical impossibilities," said Em. "We need to stop my uncle from changing into Captain Underpants before it's too late!"
Unfortunately, it was too late. Captain Underpants turned around and dashed to Mr. Krupp's office. His clothes flew off behind him (with Em collecting her uncle's clothes and toupee and stuffing them into her backpack) and the hallways echoed with jubilant proclamations about the superiority of underwear. Before George, Harold and Em could leave the kitchen, Zorx, Klax and Jennifer blocked their way so they couldn't escape.
"You wanna get out of this kitchen," mocked the evil Jennifer. "You will have to get through us!"
George grabbed a rolling pin, Harold grabbed a cast iron frying pan and Em grabbed a meat tenderizer.
"I sure hope we don't have to resort to incredibly graphic violence!" said Em.
"Me, too." said George.
"Same here." said Harold.
Ch. 12
The Assault Of The Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds
George, Harold and Em managed to knock the aliens out with their respective utensils. They had barely caught their breath when Captain Underpants finally showed up.
"Tra-la-laaaa," he said. "I'm here to fight for Truth, Justice, and all that is Pre-Shrunk and Cottony!"
"Where were you back at the end of chapter 11 when we needed you?" asked George irritably.
"I was at the shoe store, ordering a cheeseburger!" said Captain Underpants.
While the four heroes were talking, the three space aliens slithered away. The wounded aliens approached the lunchroom loudspeakers and called for their zombie nerds.
"Zombie Nerds," instructed Jennifer. "Destroy Captain Underpants and his little friends, too!"
So all the zombie nerds in the school put down their Omni magazines and headed for the cafeteria.
"Must destroy Underpants!" They moaned. "Must destroy Underpants!"
The four heroes were suddenly surrounded by the evil vicious zombie nerds as they came closer and closer.
"Now, what?" asked Em.
"To the Underwear Cave!" said Captain Underpants.
"There is no Underwear Cave!" said Harold.
"Really?" said Captain Underpants. "Well let's just climb up this ladder instead."
George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants scurried up the ladder, and soon they were all on the roof.
"Well, we're safe now." said George.
"Yep, that's for sure." said Harold. It didn't take long before the four heroes looked behind them.
"Hey," said Em. "What's that big spaceship thingy doing on the roof of the school?"
"And where did that super evil rapidly growing dandelion come from?" asked Captain Underpants, as he looked out the corner of his eye and got a better look.
George, Harold and Em gasped. They looked at one another with the sudden panicked realization that only children who have accidentally created a giant mutated garden nuisance would know.
"Ehhh..." stammered George. "I have no idea how that happened."
"Er... yeah!" said Harold. "Absolutely no idea at all."
"Th-th-that's r-r-right!" said Em nervously. "E-e-even I have no idea e-e-either!"
At that moment, Jennifer poked his evil head out and shouted, "We've got you now!"
With nowhere left to run, the four heroes ran up the ladder into the spaceship thingy and closed the door behind them.
Ch. 13
Space Slaves
Inside the spaceship, George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants discovered a refrigerator full of strange juice cartons.
"Hey," said George. "A carton of Anti Evil Zombie Nerd Juice. How convenient."
"Wow," said Harold. "A carton of Ultra Nasty Self-Destruct Juice. This could come in handy."
"Look what I found," said Captain Underpants. "A carton of Extra Strength Super Power Juice!"
"Hey, gimme that!" snapped Em, who took the carton away from Captain Underpants.
Suddenly, the door opened, and in walked Zorx, Klax and Jennifer.
"Step away from that refrigerator!" ordered Jennifer. "And get into that jail cell!"
George, Harold and Em hid the juice cartons behind their backs, then the four heroes stepped into the jail cell. Zorx started up the engines and the spaceship rose a few hundred feet.
"You four puny earthlings are very fortunate," said Jennifer in a no nonsense voice, facing the four heroes in their cell. "You will get to witness the destruction of your planet from the safety of your jail cell. Afterwards, you will have the honor of being our obedient space slaves!"
The four heroes were terrified, Jennifer then turned to Klax.
"Quick Klax," instructed Jennifer. "Get me a carton of Super Evil Rapid-Growth Juice from the refrigerator. We'll pour it into the spray gun and shower it upon our zombie nerds!"
Ch. 14
The Big Switcheroo
Klax got out a carton of Super Evil Rapid-Growth Juice, and placed it on the control panel.
"SOON, Earth will be ours!" Jennifer declared.
The three aliens threw back their heads and started laughing. George suddenly got an idea. He whispered to Harold and Em about his plan for a few seconds. Then, as quietly as possible, he reached through the bars of the jail cell and swiped the carton of Super Evil Rapid-Growth Juice while the aliens continued the laugh over their apparent victory. Harold then pulled the labels of the Super Evil Rapid Growth Juice and Ultra Nasty Self-Destruct Juice off and placed them on opposite cartons. Em then reached through the bars and switched the labels of Spray Gun and Fuel Tank around. Finally, George reached through the bars and placed the carton of Ultra Nasty Self-Destruct Juice (which now read Super Evil Rapid-Growth Juice) on the control panel.
"I don't get it," whispered Captain Underpants. "The spray gun now reads fuel tank and the fuel tank now reads spray gun, and the rapid growth juice has been replaced with self destruct juice...What's that supposed to mean?"
"You'll find out." said Harold sadly.
After the aliens finished laughing triumphantly over their apparent victory, Jennifer reached for the carton that read Super Evil Rapid-Growth Juice and poured it into the nozzle that read Spray Gun.
"Oh, I get it now," said Captain Underpants. "The space guy didn't pour growth juice into the spray gun, he poured self destruct juice into the fuel tank."
"That's right." Em said sadly.
"And that means this spaceship thingy is going to explode into millions of pieces!" said Harold gloomily.
The spaceship began to sputter and shake as smoke billowed out of the control panels. Soon sparks were flying and ceiling tiles were falling. Captain Underpants smiled proudly because he figured out George's plan, but it didn't last long.
"HEY!" he cried, "WE'RE in the spaceship thingy. What's gonna happen to us?"
"We had to sacrifice ourselves in order to save the world," said George. "I'm afraid we're not going to make it."
"Of course we'll make it," cried Captain Underpants. "I've got Wedgie Power by our side!"
Ch. 15
The Great Escape
Captain Underpants grabbed a roll of toilet paper from the jail cell lavatory.
"We can swing to safety on this!" he said.
"We can't swing on toilet paper!" said Em.
"Sure I can, I just did it in my last comic book!" said Captain Underpants.
He then opened the window and tossed the toilet paper into a tall tree below.
"Come on everyone," said Captain Underpants. "Let's get out of here before this spaceship explodes."
"That toilet paper won't hold you," said George. "it's not strong enough."
"Sure it is," said Captain Underpants. "It's two-ply!"
George, Harold and Em grabbed onto Captain Underpants' cape. "Don't jump!" they cried.
But Captain Underpants didn't listen. He jumped out the window with George, Harold and Em still clinging onto his cape.
"AAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed as they fell to the ground and were killed instantly.
Just kidding. Of course the toilet paper couldn't support the weight of our four heroes. For a moment it looked like they were gonna be doomed. All of a sudden, Captain Underpants' red polyester cape opened up like a parachute... PHOOOOOOP! George, Harold and Em were floating down to safety with Captain Underpants with their two remaining juice cartons as the spaceship above them exploded, KA-BOOM!
"Hooray!" cried Em.
"Hallelujah!" yelled Harold. "We're not gonna die, we're not gonna die!"
"Or," said George, looking down at the Dandelion Of Doom below them. "Maybe we are!"
Ch. 16
The Deliriously Dangerous Death-Defying Dandelion of Doom
George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants floated downward, into the waiting jaws of the Dandelion of Doom.
"Aw, man!" cried Harold. "We could've been blown up in a cool exploding spaceship, but now we're gonna get eaten by a dandelion. How humiliating!"
"Yeah!" moaned George.
"People will be giggling at our funerals!" said Em in a worried voice.
The dandelion munched Captain Underpants and swung George, Harold and Em like rag dolls. The three kids flew off and landed on the roof of the school.
"HELP MEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEEE!" Captain Underpants screamed desperately as the dandelion swung him back and forth.
"What should we do?" asked Harold.
"I do have an idea," said George. "It's a bad idea. I know I'm gonna regret doing this, but we don't have any other choice."
"Yeah," said Em. "The fate of the entire planet is on our hands."
The next time the dandelion lurched forward with Captain Underpants, George poured some Extra Strength Super Power Juice into Captain Underpants' mouth.
"What do you think will happen?" asked Em.
"I don't know," said George. "But I have a feeling that it's gonna involve incredibly graphic violence."
Ch. 17
Harold's Famous Root Beer
Captain Underpants managed to defeat the Dandelion of Doom (with the help of his newly developed super powers), now all that was left were the zombie nerds.
"How are we gonna conquer those zombie nerds?" asked Em.
"Well, we could try this Anti-Evil-Zombie-Nerd Juice." suggested Harold, holding the carton up.
George rolled his eyes. "I was hoping for something more dramatic," he said. "But since we're running out of pages, let's use the juice!"
So Harold mixed up a batch of root beer laced with the Anti-Evil-Zombie-Nerd Juice, while George turned on the loudspeakers in the cafeteria and ordered the zombie nerds to line up with mugs for root beer.
"Must drink root beer," moaned the zombie nerds. "Must drink root beer."
As George and Harold were busy serving the root beer, Em pulled her uncle's clothes and toupee out of her backpack and ordered Captain Underpants to get dressed back up like Mr. Krupp.
"But I'll lose my superpowers if I put on clothing," said Captain Underpants. "The power of underwear must be..."
"Just put some clothes on, bub!" Em instructed.
Captain Underpants did as he was told. George then poured water over the hero's head. Mr. Krupp was now back and waiting while all the zombie nerds were getting ready to revert back to normal.
"Well, I sure hope everybody returns to normal." said Harold.
"Me, too." said Em.
"Same here." said George.
They did.
Ch. 18
Back To Normal?
"Hooray," said Harold. "It's great to have everybody back to normal."
"Yep." said George.
"That's for sure." said Em.
"Emily," said Mr. Krupp. "You, George and Harold have your cafeteria privileges reinstated. If it wasn't for the three of you, we also could've been turned into those zombies, and the planet would've been overrun by aliens."
"Oh, thank you uncle!" said Em, who hugged her uncle, and he hugged her back.
"Wow," said George and Harold. "Thanks alot Mr. Krupp."
"Don't mention it!" said Mr. Krupp as he left to go back to his office.
Although "back to normal" wasn't exactly the best choice of words. For while the students and faculty remained the same, something had definitely changed about Mr. Krupp. Because from that day on, whenever he hears the sounds of fingers snapping (as shown when a girl wearing some headphones was snapping hers, much to George, Harold and Em's horror), Mr. Krupp not only turned back into you-know-who, but he also has Extra Strength Super Powers. If that wasn't hard enough for George, Harold and Em to keep up with him, it is now. As the three grabbed onto Captain Underpants' cape, Em gasped.
"Oh, no!" screamed George.
"Here we go again!" screamed Harold.
"Tra-la-laaa!" sang Captain Underpants as he flew away.