"Hello?"
"Bray?"
"Hi Lex."
"Yeah, hi."
Pause.
Lex turned onto his side on the bed, one ear pressed to the pillow. He clutched his phone in both hands, protecting it in his grasp as he held it hard against his ear.
"You okay?" He pulled he knees up to his stomach.
"Yeah, yeah, great."
"Good. What did you do today?"
"Um." He thought over the day, focusing on it from the logical mind the school was teaching him to use for maths. Looking at his day any other way would be disastrous. He breathed out a shaky sigh with his hand over the receiver, then cleared his throat quietly. "I had art and uh…" he couldn't remember the other one.
"How was it?"
"It was great." He injected some of the happiness he felt during that subject.
"Well great! What did you do?"
"Just some more drawing and stuff, pencils."
"You love that subject don't you." Lex nodded against the phone. He missed Bray like he never thought he could miss someone. A stinging formed behind his eyes.
"Yeah."
"How are you?"
"Goodyou?" he always said it so quickly, and wondered if Bray noticed. "How are you?"
"Yeah I'm fine, got off work early because it was empty in the place." Lex smiled
"Oh cool, wish they'd do that in the lessons." He snorted to hedge the effect "I bet Jack didn't like that, he's obsessed with the place."
"Still there now with Steve and Paula and that." Bray snorted. Lex nodded again against the phone. He knew who all these people were, though he'd never met them. The number of phone-calls added up to hours of summaries of Bray's life, and Lex lost himself in the characters of Bray's happy life.
"You're the only sensible one, Bray." Lex sighed gently. The stinging became more persistent "What else is going on?"
"Uh…actually we're about to watch a movie."
Lex closed his eyes slowly and let the first tear fall. The apology in the voice, the world of suggestions and meanings behind it that told him he would have to return to his own world. Bray had to go and live his life, come back and tell Lex about it later. He knew he should accept that he had to get off the phone…but…
"Oh right? What movie?" he swallowed heavily.
"Uh I dunno, we're about to sit down and choose."
"Oh, got popcorn?"
"Nah we ran out. There's some nachos and that though."
"Oh good…yeah."
"I gotta go now Lex." Tears were welling up more rapidly. It was too soon, he'd barely been on the phone 2 minutes. He had expected it, had known Bray, unlike himself, didn't want to stay on the phone for hours, just talking about anything, nothing, and yet every time Bray left it hurt.
"Oh, yeah, course."
"See you later, okay."
"Yeah, definitely…yeah."
"Bye."
"Yeah, bye." He listened to the sound of Bray sighing aloud as he hung up, then the dull rejecting tone. He held the phone to his ear for minutes after Bray had left, like he was clinging to the last, dull sounds of Bray's life. He sniffed . It seemed ritual now – the joy of talking to Bray, the devastation of ending the conversation.
He shook himself out of it, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. He couldn't fall apart every time he called Bray. He should be happy to have this time with him. He stood up and pulled off his t-shirt, replacing it with a looser one to sleep in. he glanced at his clock – nine thirty. Bray wouldn't be going to bed for a few hours yet – he had no reason to. Lex had roommates that would be thundering in later, and he planned to be asleep by then. He pulled the curtain across the doorway to his little section of the room, and flicked off his lamp.