There comes a time in your life when you have an epiphany or a moment of introspection of some kind. Of course, when you do, it's usually after some deep thinking where you ask the big questions. It's never the same for everyone, always different but not always unique. Varying from thoughts on the universe to the affairs of the heart, it was all different. Everyone had some point in their life where they truly thought about something sentimental or deep, even animals.
A certain silver feathered penguin in New York was going through it right now.
Amber hadn't had much sleep in the last week, an annoying insomnia she was vexed with. Each night she snuck out of the hidden headquarters to watch the city and think. Her thoughts had been clouded for a while, successfully fogging up her mind and messing with her judgment. Her thoughts might have been on a lot things but, in fact, it was only on one thing at that one thing alone.
Skipper, the leader of an elite force of commando penguins that was the best in the U.S.A.
She was the leader of her own team and it was her responsibility to be aware of everything that went on between them and outside. It was difficult as of recently though…because of Skipper. She had been thinking about her past experiences, many involving fake romance, and the connections it had to Skipper. So many distractions.
Amber watched the moon from the clock tower, lightly kicking her feet. What was she getting herself into? Love… She was attempting to give it another shot for pity sake. She was actually…afraid of it. Some of her fears were just stupid and childish, something you didn't even need to think, much less be worried, about. Being scared of love, death and even crying. She would never cry in front of her teammates, at least on the outside.
Death was understandable but it just wasn't with her own death. It was with everyone else's. What would she do if one of her girls died in her flippers? She would crack and be vulnerable like she truly was. There was a hard wall that surrounded her but once you broke through, it was a soft and vulnerable spot that would be death of her. Amber was afraid of making herself vulnerable. Love was one of those things that could do that, and Skipper had broken through that wall she tried so hard to keep up. He was her sickness. The experience was...bittersweet, for lack of a better word.
Her life had always been difficult, even when she was just a hatchling. She was starting to get tired of it all, honestly. It's one of those things that you're just sick of but the point was that she was sick of everything. Everything always seemed to betray her in some way. Each time it always left a scar, though not always visible. It would be in her heart. It was painful and always left a stinging feeling.
Amber sighed and closed her eyes, allowing the cold wind of the night to lazily swirl around her and ruffle her feathers. "What am I doing?" she asked herself in a whisper. The silver feathered penguin rubbed her temple and sighed to herself once more. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at the lit up city. 'Why did Skipper do this to me?'
Amber looked at the ground below and noticed right then that she had let a few strand tears fall down on her chest. 'Stupid emotions,' she thought bitterly and glared at her tear soaked chest. She didn't make a move to stop them from falling though, and attempted to calm herself down instead.
At least no one would see her cry from up here. She couldn't let them think she was going soft. Amber sighed again to herself and a determined expression rose up on her features. Her tears continued its slow descent, splattering on the concrete and on her chest.
"I'm so tired of being here…" Amber started singing lowly. She wiped away her tears off of her cheeks before continuing. "Suppressed by all my…childish fears. And if you have to leave…I wish that you would just leave…"
Skipper eyes snapped open out of reflex from a sound he could just barely hear. Was that singing? He looked across the room and noticed Amber wasn't in her bunk. 'What the deuce?' Skipper thought and gave everything another skeptical look. He nimbly jumped out of his bunk and landed on the ground with a soft thump. He listened carefully, but he couldn't hear this strange singing anymore.
The flat headed leader jumped over to the ladder and climbed up it as fast as possible. He poked his head out from the hatch, feet resting on one of the rungs, and looked around suspiciously. His gaze came to the clock tower, where he could see a single figure sitting next to the bell. Skipper whipped out a pair of binoculars and looked through them with a furrowed brow. He raised an eye ridge in interest when he realized it was Amber.
"What is she doing?" he asked himself quietly with an edge of suspicion. "One way to find out," he muttered. Skipper tossed the binoculars aside and started sliding towards the clock tower.
He reached the tower and started to bounce against the walls to get to the top. The stealthy commando did it as silently as possible and, once he reached the very top, he hid behind the bell with his back firmly pressed against the cold metal. He drew his head out from the corner and studied Amber carefully, seeing her stone still with her head bowed. He watched as she moved slightly and was faintly surprised to hear her singing.
"Because your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone…" Amber shook her head. "These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real…There's just too much that time cannot erase."
Skipper knew this song. Madison had played it on her recorder whenever she was depressed, and he occasionally heard Amber singing along with it but never with this much feeling. He blinked his eyes, frowned, stepped out from his hiding place and slowly waddled up to her.
Amber jumped when she heard his footsteps but relaxed, seeing it was only him.
His frown deepened when he saw a couple of tears fall across her face. Skipper finally reached her and tipped her head to his by placing his flipper under her beak. He gently wiped away her tears and sang quietly, "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears."
"What are you doing here?" Amber inquired, ignoring the fact that he actually sang for her.
Skipper settled down beside her and answered, "I didn't see you in your bunk, so I did a little investigating."
"Well, I'm fine." The silver bird eyed him carefully. "So…how long were you watching me anyway?"
"Long enough to know you need a comforting flipper," Skipper replied calmly with a shrug. "Besides, you never know when a giant space squid will come out and suck you up!" The commanding officer waved his flippers around in a circular motion ominously. With a wink, he added, "So of course a macho man like myself has to protect you."
Amber smirked at him. "Cute," she chuckled, "But you're too paranoid for your own good."
"Hey!" Skipper pointed a flipper at her face, a glint in his eye. "It can happen. I've seen a space squid before."
Amber shivered at the thought of it actually happening. She was NOT a fan of squids but the idea seemed too out there to be real. It only made her laugh. "Now I've heard of everything." She rolled her eyes, clearly amused.
"That was a nice song you were singing…what is it?"
"It's called 'My Immortal' by Evanescence," Amber informed. "I like to sing that sometimes…" she trailed off and looked at the city, its light reflecting on her amber eyes, giving them a glossy look.
Skipper leaned forward and searched her eyes, finding desperation in them. For a moment, he kept silent, pondering on what to do and if music would help. The flat headed commando sighed, complying with his inner wishes. "When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears," he sang to her gently and wrapped a flipper around her shoulders. "And I've held your hand through all of these years but you still have...all of me."
Amber smiled a bit and decided to go along with it. "You used to captivate me," she sang, drawling out the words pleasantly but hauntingly. "By your resonating light, but now I'm bound by the life you left behind," she sang. "Your face, it haunts...my once pleasant dreams. Your voice, it chased away...all the sanity in me." Amber chuckled half-heartedly as she said, "Then again, I believe I lost my sanity quite a while ago."
"Sanity is a waste of someone's time." Skipper shook his head.
Amber stared at him and let out a breath of air. He was different no doubt. She appreciated who he was and how he acted, especially compared to everyone she ever met, but she was afraid to take the chance of love. It had hurt so badly before. It would only hurt worse and worse. She couldn't think of what would happen if she had one last heart break.
Amber's body shook slightly. "These wounds won't seem to heal," she sang, tears threatening to come pouring from her eyes. "This pain is just too real…There's just too much that time cannot erase."
Skipper watched her carefully as she sang. He could see the truth of the lyrics in her eyes. "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears." Skipper tilted her head towards him again and wiped away the tears that finally sprung from her eyes. "When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears…" He brought her closer to him and gently nuzzled her neck. "And I've held your hand through all of these years."
He put his flipper on top of hers and they both stared at her eyes, singing, "But you still have all of me."
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone." Amber looked away as she sang this. "But though you're still with me." She brought her gaze back to him, her amber eyes flickering in the night. "I've been alone all along!"
Skipper shook his head. "As long as I'm here, you won't be alone. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."
Amber let a faint smile creep up on her beak, but it was wiped away as she started singing again. The silver female's voice grew louder and stronger, more passionate. "These wounds won't seem to heal! This pain is just too real! There's just too much that time cannot erase…"
Concern washed over the commando but a new fire was relit inside of Skipper and his voice showed the fiery passion he had for her. "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears!" He hugged the silver penguin closer to his body. "When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears!"
Amber buried her beak into his back, savoring the smell of fish and chlorine on his feathers.
"And I've held your hand through all of these years!" Skipper pulled away and, to her surprise, rubbed their beaks together into a gentle nuzzle that she returned hesitantly. They pulled away and slowly sang together, "But you still have...all of me."
Amber began to smile again. "Thanks for…coming up here, Skipper," she chuckled awkwardly.
"No problem." Skipper smirked and made a move to get up. "Now let's go back to our old HQ."
Amber shook her head, putting a flipper on his shoulder and trailing it down to the end of his flipper, tugging on it slightly. "No, I want to stay here."
Skipper fell back down and quirked a nonexistent eyebrow, silently asking 'why?'
"The city." Amber pointed to the lit up city that illuminated the night air. "It's nice to watch it. Plus I have been meaning to do some night recon for you guys anyway."
"Hope I won't be a distraction then." Skipper placed his flipper around her shoulders. "Because I'm going to stay here for tonight."
"Just tonight?" Amber raised a brow, leaning in to his touch.
The commanding officer pondered this for a minute before saying, "I wouldn't mind doing this every night. I have been meaning to give the boys a break from recon."
"You're a good penguin Skipper." The silver bird smiled.
Skipper gave her a genuine smile back and looked over at the city with her.
Amber glanced at the penguin she loved once more before turning her gaze onto the lit up city, lights flickering around at the night from neon signs and car headlights. 'He's not so bad. No more depressing over my past. As my dad use to say: Don't dwell on the past, focus on the future, but don't be afraid to be paranoid about it.'
She looked at Skipper and kissed the side of his beak, which caused the normal calm and confident penguin to grow red with a dazed expression on his face. He looked at her with his beak hanging slightly agape. Amber chuckled and used her flipper to close his beak. "You'll catch flies that way." She laughed heartedly and scooted closer to him.
He let his shock melt away and smirked at her. "I didn't expect that," he admitted. "Then again you have to expect the unexpected."
"Words to live by." Amber watched as the lights flickered around through the foggy atmosphere. For once in that whole week, she felt tired. She closed her eyes and rested her head on Skipper's shoulder, allowing the penguin she cared deeply about to place his head on her own. It was warm and comfortable. She decided right then that love, with Skipper, would be worth it.
"Goodnight," Skipper whispered to her with his breath caressing her face. That's the last thing she heard before she fell asleep with a large smile on her beak.
'You're my own immortal...'