This is my first Naruto fanfiction.
Set in AU where the Fourth Great Shinobi War lasted longer and ended in even more death.
Read, review, enjoy! x
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It's raining again in Konohagakure. It's a month into the wet season and Sakura can't remember anything but the rain. It's befitting that the rain started when it did; Konoha must cry for its fallen hero.
Standing in front of the obelisk monument, Sakura decides she hates the word 'hero'. She hates everything it stands for, because it seems to her that it only means death. She hates that the heroes are always the ones on the front line, throwing their lives away for the greater good, when more often than not they are throwing themselves at death. She hates that the heroes, the ones who deserve to live, always die first.
Haruno Sakura is a survivor, not a hero.
She stares at the names on the monument and decides she knows too many of them. She's still young, barely an adult, and she's seen death too many times to count. She's failed in her duty as a medic too many times to count, watching her comrades fall one by one around her feet. She's still young, but her heart is crooked, pieced back together mess.
She knows she will endure this latest tragedy to the ever-growing list. She has to.
"You stupid idiot," Sakura chokes out as the rain batters down on her fragile frame. Her shoulders are shaking as she clasps her hands to her chest. She has never looked smaller in her entire life.
Sakura traces the latest craved name and forces herself to acknowledge the truth. Uzumaki Naruto is dead.
He's been dead since the end of the war and only now can Sakura bring herself to stand before the monument, before him.
There isn't even a fucking body.
He died a hero, like everyone else on that damned monument. Sakura wants to smash her chakra-powered fist through the stupid obelisk. Uzumaki Naruto should not be dead. Of course, he was hailed a hero because he defeated the last of the Akatsuki. And of course, since he is a hero, he is dead.
It all seems horribly unfair to Sakura.
"You fucking idiot. You were supposed to become the Rokudaime Hokage." Sakura whispers, admitting to herself that Uzumaki Naruto will never become Hokage, will never achieve his lifelong dream. It hurts Sakura to admit that she never believed in Konoha's knucklehead ninja until it was too late.
It's far too late now. It's far too late to tell Naruto that he deserved so much better than he got. It's too late to tell him how thankful she is that he had always believed in her, even back in their genin days when she had been weak and afraid.
She was told that he had died with a smile on his face, because he had saved Konoha, his home. Even in death, the bastard had the nerve to smile his stupid grin. She knew it meant he was entrusting the village to her and the other survivors. She knew it meant that, even in death, he believed in Konoha's strength.
She can't help but wish everyone thought like her teammate. He had loved Konoha and its people with his entire being. He trusted his comrades, his friends, to take care of the place he loved. He dreamed of being Hokage - of bringing peace to a hateful world.
Now it's too late to tell him she believes in him and his dreams. It's too late to tell him not to be so reckless, hoping he'd listen to her for once. It's too late to tell him all the things she had never said but intended to, believing that there would be a thousand more days.
But there isn't. Instead, there would be more days for her to live.
Naruto died for Konoha. Now Sakura must muster up the courage to live for it.
That is the duty of a survivor.
She visits the monument every day after her hospital shift. She silently tells her fallen comrades stories from her day and reassures them that Konoha is in an era of peace and prosperity (thanks to them). She reminisces on all the memories and wishes for all the "should haves", "could haves" and "would haves" that break her heart a little.
There are so many fallen comrades. She traces all their names one by one. There is Yamanaka Ino, the first tragedy of the war, dying to give Konoha invaluable intel. There are Aburame Shino and Inuzuka Kiba, who saved the Sensory Division with their deaths. There is Rock Lee, who died with the words of youth and strength on his lips. There is Hyuuga Neji, who died to protect his clansmen. Worse of all is Uzumaki Naruto. He shouldered the burdens of the shinobi world, defeating its greatest evil.
There are many other names she recognises: chunin and jounin she knew in passing who gave their lives during the war.
She vows that she will continue living for all her friends who died. She will continue living for them, because she is one of few who will remember their dreams and hopes and legacies. She will keep them alive in her memory.
She was friends with so many heroes who thought the cost of their own lives for the village they loved was a small price to pay. They thought their sacrifice was worth it and even though a part of her hates them for making that decision, she understands. She understands that given the choice again they would still choose sacrifice. She understands because she has come to love this place just as much as they did.
Today, she's in the middle of telling Naruto a story about Ichiraku Ramen when she notices a silver-haired jounin walk up. He's become ANBU since the end of war and she rarely sees him nowadays. But she knows that he visits the obelisk like her too, except they've never crossed paths before because she has never known what to say. After all, he is older than her both in mind and years and he has seen more death than she has. Hatake Kakashi wore his survivor's guilt like armor, having outlasted two wars and too many battles in between.
They stand in silence for a long time, neither willing to talk. Sakura can't remember the last time they spent time together. Her former teacher is constantly on classified missions and she's a jounin who no longer needs the constant counsel of a former teacher. Sakura ends up forgetting he is there and fades back into her own thoughts of ramen dinners with Naruto and squabbles with Ino and all the missions with the Konoha 11.
He breaks the silence, "How long have you been coming here?"
"How long have you been coming here?" Sakura counters.
"A long time," Kakashi admits, staring at the obelisk, willing the names to fade, "Since my friends' names have been on the stone."
Sakura nods, "Since the war ended." Since I realised I am survivor and my friends are heroes.
"Does it help?" Kakashi asks.
"It helps me remember," Sakura hesitates, because no, it will never help that her friends are dead. It will never let her forget those that she's lost.
Sakura bends down and closes her eyes, tracing Uzumaki Naruto's name carved into the stone.
Both have been through hell and both are not sure whether they truly made it out okay.
"Godaime-sama wants to retire," Kakashi tells Sakura suddenly.
"Tsunade-sama is old. The war aged her more," Sakura agrees, "Who will succeed her?"
"Naruto." is Kakashi's response.
Sakura closes her eyes, "Does it get easier, sensei?" Because she knows he's been a survivor since he was a little boy and now he's a man. She wants to believe it will get better.
"You survive," Kakashi's voice is bitter.
Sakura stands abruptly, fiercely, "I'm going to survive for all of them. I will not let their precious Konoha and their precious lives go to waste."
Kakashi watches his former student. He thinks that maybe she will be a better survivor than him. The death of everyone he loved made him a killer. But he sees that as bitter as Sakura is, she is determined to continue the hopes and dreams of her dead comrades.
They have left the largest imprint on her heart. Naruto, especially, who always promised to shoulder the hatred of this world, who died to protect Konoha. Then again, Sakura's generation was always exceptional. They all died to protect Konoha, after all.
Hidden Villages raise fine shinobi, but it takes a place like Konoha to raise camaraderie like what the Konoha 11 shared.
Kakashi can see in Sakura's fiery but calm eyes that she will make sure her comrades' dreams of happiness and peace come true. Every day, she becomes more determined.
Naruto's nindo was to never give up. He is a fallen hero now, leaving Sakura to take up the mantle of his legacy.
Kakashi understands then that although Sakura is not heroic, she will do all she can to protect Konoha.
After all, the heroes have entrusted the survivors with their hopes.
fin.