Don't tell Sirius!
Disclaimer: I do not own any writes to the Harry Potter characters, places or idea's….but god if I did I'd be rich!
Summary: Harry's a girl and this is just some random idea that popped into my head at two o'clock in the morning.
Lucius.is.a.sex.god.and.i.wanna.jump.on.him.but.he's.not.real.so.i'm.fucked.actualy.no.i'm.not.thats.the.problem!
Sirius Black was having a good day. The sun was shinning, the birds were singing and it was a beautiful morning. He smiled as he walked down the corridor in Hogwarts to his god-daughters room. After she had defeated Voldemort two years ago at the final battle she had gone travelling around the world and then returned a few weeks ago and decided to stay at Hogwarts. Albus had been so happy to finally have her back he'd given her a private suit even though she was only 17 to try and encourage her to visit more often. He decided to drop by and give her a surprise by waking her up at the crack of dawn to go looking for Oxyplaits with him. That was always soooo much fun. Maybe once they found some he could sick one of the pink fluffy things on Snapey. He he he he he he.
He reached the door and innocently let himself in. He wasn't going to prank his god-daughter! Never. Yeah right! He quietly walked into her bedroom only to stop dead and stare in shock……what……the…….hell……….. is what went through his mind before he snapped out of it and calmly grabbed hold of the end of the duvet and giving a mighty PULL. The two male occupants in the bed went rolling of each end. Landing with a thud. The figure in the middle of the bed flew upright and stopped dead to stare at her godfather in horror. Oh no. This was so not good. She idly thought about resurrecting old snake face so she'd have an excuse to run away. Two heads appeared on either side of the bed. One dark and to the mans shoulders the other long and blond.
"Oh fuck!" the dark haired one exclaimed "What the bloody hell are you doing here!?!" Snape all but snarled but the effect was kinda ruined by the fact that he was currently naked. Sirius looked at him "About to castrate the resident potions master…right…about…NOW!!!" he said before lunging at Snape and attacking the man. How dare he lay his snarky hands on innocent little Harriet? The fact that the young woman was in bed with two men at the same time and was defiantly not innocent didn't even factor into his thoughts. Which at the time were filled with kill and Snape quickly followed by kill and Malfoy.
This was how the entire residents of the great hall were shocked to find their feared potions master come smashing through the doors in only his sleep pants closely followed by an equally dressed Lucius Malfoy, an enraged Sirius Black and lastly Harry Potter who was wearing a red silk dressing gown and trying to calm Black.
Dumbledore stood up after a few minutes of watching Sirius beat the crap into Snape and Malfoy. Ah the joys of youth! He cleared his throat "ahem…GENTLEMEN!" he shouted. The three fighting men stopped and looked at him. "What is going on here?" he asked. Sirius chose the opportunity to answer. "These two bloody bats took advantage of my sweet innocent Harry! At the same time!!" Well that was unexpected.
Somewhere a cricket chirped in the silence. Everyone looked at the men and then at Harry before bursting into whispers. "Oh my god!!" "Professor Snape?? How? Harry Potter is like the sexiest girl alive she's even in playwizard!" was the male response and the female was "That has got to be the luckiest girl in the entire world!" "Oh my god How? She's sooo lucky" "It's just not bloody fare! She gets Malfoy and Snape and all I get is Dennis Creavy!"
"Hey!"
"Sorry Dennis"
"Gentlemen could you please keep your private business private. Might I remind you that this is a school!!!" Minerva said appalled at what the children were hearing. Everyone settled back down while the three lovers snook out of the room. Sirius went to go after them but was ambushed by fangirls. The end.