A/N: A tribute to our very own Ryoga! I love you okay. Your epicness is beyond belief. Sometime I just want to like every single one of your posts, but it would be damn creepy and awkward if you saw a Kaidoh or Sengoku creeping on your blog, right?

WARNING/S: I'm not gay. Sengoku is straight okay? He's Straight Bros with Jackal forevah. Oh, not this kind of warning Okay, swearing, and randomness of shit.

DISLCAIMER: I'm not your boyfriend! Oh, and this fandom is not mine.

I'M ON A BOAT

By ThroughTheMonsoon

When Ryoga was a kid, he liked playing make-believe. But he always, always got disturbed by his Chibisuke Ryoma, so he made one rule that the younger brother had to follow whenever he said the sentence.

"Nii-chan, nii-chan, help me peel this orange," little Ryoma said one afternoon while his older brother was playing.

"Go away, can't you see I'm on a boat?"

And Ryoma couldn't do anything but go away because if he didn't, bad things would happen to him.

Bad things.

As Ryoga got older, he started wandering off and playing by himself.

But he was a famous (not to mention handsome) kid ever since, so no one took a chance of not talking to him.

"R-Ryoga-kun…would you go out with me?" A girl from his class said as Ryoga played make-believe on the jungle gym area of the playground one second-grade afternoon.

"I'm on a boat."

And the girl ran away crying, wondering how a boat was more important to Ryoga than someone asking him out. Besides, bad things happen on cue once you didn't go away.

Bad things.

And then Ryoga's wish came true. Finally, he was on a cruise ship, a real boat.

One time, his fellow stowaway shipmate friend thingy had to remind him of some errands he had to do.

"Oi, Echizen! You have to tell the captain to refuel soon!"

"I'm on a boat."

"We're all on a boat. And besides, this is important!"

"I'm. On. A. Boat."

And the young man scampered away. Because surely, bad things would occur in the next minute.

Bad things.

And when he went home once for a little visit, he maintained the law everytime.

One time, he was taking a bubble bath, and his Chibisuke called him to dinner.

"Oi, aniki, dinner's ready," the younger Echizen knocked.

And natural, Ryoga replied, "I'm on a boat!"

"No, you're not. You're on land!"

"I'm. On. A. Boat."

"Baka aniki! You're in the bathtub!"

"I'm on a motherfucking boat!"

"You're playing with your rubber ducky and toy ship, aren't you?"

Silence.

And Ryoga could just hear Ryoma smirking from the other side of the door.

"Mada mada dane, aniki."

"Shut up."

"Hurry up, dinner's ready."

"I'm Echizen Ryoga."

Ryoma's eyebrow took the elevator to his hairline. "So?"

"Echizen Ryoga does what he wants."

"You're just a fugitive."

"I'm not a fugitive. And I'm on a boat."

"That doesn't work on me anymore."

"I'm Echizen Ryoga."

"And?"

"Echizen Ryoga does what he wants!" Ryoga sloshed water all around, screaming like a brat.

Ryoma knew he had to back away.

Thus a newly-established law was born in the bathtub, which surely would cause bad things to happen if not obeyed.

Bad things.

Here we go again.