Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, LOTR, or Artemis Fowl. Neither does my close friend Nienna Sherwood.

Author's Note: I just thought of the idea last night. Nienna Sherwood will be known by me as "Sherwood" and I will be known as "Finder" otherwise she will be known as "Nienna" by we authoresses.

The Golden Trio were holidaying in Ireland, thanks to the Boy Wonder himself. (We all know he's filthy rich. Why deny it?) They had seen all the sights, kissed the Blarney Stone, seen all the architecture, and eaten all the original Irish food. Hermione was absorbing herself in the history and facts while Harry and Ron were researching Quidditch. Ah, yes, it would be promising.

"We are FINALLY here!" exclaimed Nienna, lugging her ginormous bag of clothes and notebooks.

"I hear ya," said a disgruntled Finder as she carried three equally ginormous bags full of clothes, make-up, notebooks, CDs and books. She dropped her bags and screamed at the top of her voice.

"YO! CAN A GIRL GET A LITTLE SERVICE AROUND HERE, YA LAZY SLOBS!"

Nienna sighed. She knew she should've knocked her out.

"Finder, chill. Just kindly ask for, oh, gee, I don't know, a trolley, maybe?"

Finder scowled deeply. Then, just to be a prat...

"Nope. I will NOT get a trolley. I will lug this myself, no thanks to ANYONE IN THE AIR-O-PORT!" she said. Nienna rolled her eyes. It was going to be a long vacation.

"Artemis, this won't work," said Holly, leaning on his desk. Artemis pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Holly, yes it will, I've told you this. Now all I need to do is press enter and-"

"Artemis, no, it will not. If you press that button the data will be lost and-"

Artemis pressed enter. As usual, Artemis's theory was correct and the data was NOT lost and his plot was NOT ruined. He looked at Holly, a smug look on his face.

"Don't EVEN say a word, Artemis. Not a single word," Holly warned. Artemis shrugged. Butler smiled at his friends, constantly bickering. Ah, the perks of being a Fowl body guard...

"I DON'T WANNA GO!" shrieked Frodo. Elrond sighed and massaged his temples.

"Frodo, you've been bored recently. You and the Fellowship have been bored. You need something to do. So you all are going to Ireland on Earth! WON'T THAT BE FUN!" he asked with forced enthusiasm. Frodo began sobbing. He didn't want to leave the Shire again. Oh well, Elrond clapped his fingers and the eight members were gone. He left for Arwen's room to try on the pretty dresses.

"I hate this food," complained Finder, poking at he freakish ham and noodles. Nienna sighed.

"You haven't even tried it," she pleaded. Finder pushed the food away from her.

"I wonder if they serve pizza," she mumbled. Nienna rolled her eyes when Finder leaned toward her.

"Ya know, Sherwood, we could have a whole lot o' fun here."

"You mean give Ireland a little taste of havoc?" asked Nienna in a hushed voice, suddenly understanding. Finder grinned and nodded, extracting what looked like floor plans. Nienna rubbed her hands together.

"Now we're in business," she exclaimed. Finder nodded and smoothed out her "floor plans."

"Harry, did you know that St. Patrick wasn't even Irish?" asked Hermione. Ron rolled his eyes.

"Hermione, we don't care," he said for the zillionth time that day. Hermione glared at him.

"Harry cares, don't you, Harry?" said Hermione. Harry shook his head.

"Nope."

Hermione scowled.

"Well, I find it all very interesting," she said indignantly.

Artemis stared at the computer screen, reading his e-mail.

And, Arty, remember to have Butler check the system. We don't want intruders while we're gone. Oh, and your father and I will be in Naples for another two weeks. Be safe!

With love,

Mom.

Artemis sighed. He hated when his mother signed her e-mails "Mom." he never called her that. It sounded so infantile. As much as her cared for his mother, she needed to accept him for who he was. A prodigy. Artemis smiled at the thought.

"Pompous, are we?" said the voice of Holly. Artemis sighed. He did say "whenever you wish to visit" didn't he.

"Holly, what is it? I'm very busy."

"You are not. You're reading e-mail from your mother."

"What is it?" demanded Artemis. Holly made herself comfortable on a lounge chair.

"Your data got lost, like I said it would," she explained, popping a grape in her mouth. Artemis grinned at her.

"Very funny. Now why are you really here?"

"To laugh in your face when you realize I'm not kidding."

Artemis's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, like that." Holly started laughing.

"It can't be! How!"

"I'm not exactly sure, but I think it has to do with interception. I had Foaly try and trace it, but he couldn't. It was destroyed. Bummer, huh?" said Holly through a mouthful of grapes.

"Are you going to a convention or something?" asked someone from a nearby car.

"Excuse me?" said Arogorn.

"A convention. You know, for Lord of the Rings. You look just like that guy. Arogorn, you know," said the person.

"I am Arogorn."

The person laughed and drove away.

"That wasn't funny," commented Legolas. Arogorn scowled.

"No. Really it wasn't," he agreed. The eight walked along the highway, taking in all of the new technology.

"TERRORISTS!" shouted a random person.

"Huh?" said Pippin intelligently. The eight were tackled to the ground by random people.

A/N: Chapter one is sadly done. But now reviews are available! YAY! It will be great! oh, and we won't update, so you will not know what Finder and Nienna's plan is. That would suck.

REVIEW!