Prologue

"We don't know who we are until we're connected to someone else. We're just better human beings when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave. I belong here."

He never knew he could be in this much pain, of course he has had his fair share but nothing compared to this. Not even the death of his father or brother. When they died he felt the loneliness that came after but with Opie and his mother helping him through it he got better. But this.. This was something else entirely. Jax felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest and stomped on repeatedly and all that was left was a gaping hole. The love that was once there now just a bitter memory and it had only been one hour. One hour since the love of his life told him she was leaving Charming because she couldn't end up just being an old lady, she had bigger plans. He knew it was coming she had been begging him to go with her but he couldn't. This life is all he knew and he was destined to sit at the head of that table and three years ago he thought he would rule alone but now he couldn't see his future without her in it.

Sitting outside the clubhouse he lifted the bottle of Jack to his lips and took a long swig. The warm liquid burning as it slid down his throat. He was numb, he felt nothing.

"You alright brother?" He heard Opie's deep voice from behind him.

Jax shook his head fighting back tears, he knew Ope wouldn't give him shit for crying like a bitch over some girl but his other brothers would and he wasn't about to give them the satisfaction. Looking over at his best friend. "She left." Saying those words broke him down even more, it was all becoming a reality and he didn't know if he could handle it. Without saying a word opie walked over and took a seat next to him on the table placing a comforting hand on his back. He knew what he was talking about without having to say anything. Jax had told him about Tara asking him to leave with her and he didn't understand why she needed to get out so badly but she actually did it and he wasn't sure how Jax was going to handle it. Probably drown himself in weed, booze, and pussy till…that he wasn't sure of.

"Anything broken?" Opie asked, looking at his busted knuckles and the blood that was still running down his arm pooling in to a small puddle below.

Jax chuckled as he looked at his hand and for the first time noticed how bad it was bleeding, he flexed his hand and felt the pain shoot up his arm but he did not wince. "I'll be fine." He lifted the bottle to his lips once again. Opie pulled out a smoke and put it to his lip as he lit it. They sat there in silence as they watched the sun set. He knew that Jax needed to deal with this shit on his own and he would be there when he needed to talk it out but Opie wasn't sure what he could say. He had no idea how he felt. How do you deal when the person you love more than anything leaves? If Donna did that he didn't know what he would do.

Finishing off the bottle he gets up from the table. "I need to get the fuck out of here." Without saying anything else to his friend, he grabs the second bottle he had brought out with him and walks off towards the main entrance. He had to get away from that place, the place where his heart broke only three hours ago.

3 Hours Earlier

Tara sat on the edge of her bed staring at the acceptance letter from UCSD, it was finally time for her to get out like she always wanted. When she thought about this day freshman year she thought she would be happy, hell she thought the minute she got the letter she would be out the door and away from her drunk father.

But then Jax happened.

Falling in love with Jax was something she never saw coming. Tara was never the type to have a serious relationship, she never had any relationships she went out on a few dates but it never went anywhere she never felt a connection and she never trusted anyone. Guess that was something that happens when you lose your mother at a young age and have to basically raise yourself because well technically she lost both parents, because when her mom died something in her dad died to and he has never been the same.

Jax had changed that, he made her feel safe and protected. She let him in where no one else had been before. She gave him everything, all of her.

Now here she was about to leave him to go to San Diego. She had to get out, she couldn't be trapped here like her mother was. She had to do something and she wanted Jax to go with her but he kept saying he couldn't. The club was all he knew, all he was destined for. But to her it was all bullshit he was capable of so much more. He was better than being an outlaw.

Tears drops fell on to the paper and she quickly wiped them away. Today was supposed to be a happy day, the best day of her life but she knew it was going to be her worst. Standing up from her bed she walked in to her bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked paler than usual and her eyes were rimmed red and puffy from crying. She knew there was no way she would be able to hide that from Jax, she took a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom grabbing the letter from the bed stuffing it in to her shoulder bag before throwing it over herself and then grabbed the suit cases that laid on her bed before heading it out towards her car.

After loading everything in she said her goodbyes to her dad who didn't seem all that sad before getting in to her car and heading to the last place she knew she needed to go.

As she pulled in to the lot she quickly found his bike, she pulled off to the side and parked. She felt the tears coming but she held them back. She needed to control herself, she couldn't lose it in front of everyone. Getting out of the car she made her way in to the clubhouse, she heard a few members say hey as they smiled nicely at her and then nodded their heads back to the dorm room indicating that was where Jax was. Her eyes met with Opie's and she smiled slightly and continued making her way back to the dorm room. Opening the door and stepping inside she looked around not seeing him, she saw his clothes tossed around the room and she suddenly felt a panic rise in her chest as she thought that maybe he wasn't alone. She quickly pushed those thoughts away knowing that Jax wouldn't do that to her. Sure he used to be the biggest whore of Charming High but since they got together he always reassured her that he was faithful and she believed him.

"Jax?" She asked and then the door from the bathroom opened and he stepped out fully dressed, but his hair was damp. Oh, he was in the shower. She thought feeling like a bitch for thinking he was with another girl. His face brightened as he looked at her, a smile forming on his face.

"Hey Babe." He said as he walked over to her with familiar swag, placing a hand on her hip he leaned in and kissed her lips gently. The feeling of his lips on her almost made her break down right then. She couldn't do it, she couldn't leave him. NO! you have to! She told herself. He pulled back and looked at her, he saw the paleness of her skin and her red rimmed puffy eyes. She had been crying. "You okay?" He said starting to get angry thinking that her father hurt her again. He truly hated that man.

Tara pulled from his embrace and walked around him to the other side of the room, she stood with her back away from him closing her eyes trying to figure out how she was going to break her own heart. Turning around to face him she avoided looking directly in to his eyes because if she did she would never be able to do this.

"I'm Leaving Jax."

"What do you mean?" He said as his brows furrowed together in confusion, He didn't remember her saying she was going anywhere.

"Charming. I'm leaving Charming and going to San Diego."

"I thought we were going to talk about this before you made a decision."

Tara sighed. "I've tried to talk to you and you change the subject, so I'm done talking."

Jax shakes his head looking away from her. How could she do this? How could she really leave? "So that's it. Your just gonna leave like the last three years didn't mean shit. Like our relationship didn't mean shit."

"Don't fucking do that." She said raising her voice a little as the tears began to fall once more. "You know exactly how I feel about you. You think I want to leave you?"

He shrugged his shoulders in a gesture that was basically telling her obviously. "What am I supposed to think? You show up here saying you're leaving and I have no say in the matter."

Tara closed the distance between them grabbing ahold of his hands. "Come with me. We can start over somewhere else. Please baby I don't want to be without you." She finally met his eyes as tears still stained her cheeks.

He could see the truth in her eyes and it broke his heart. He wanted to tell her yes so badly that it hurt. But he knew he could never leave he couldn't do that to his club, his brothers, or his mother. But Tara was his everything his true north and he knew he couldn't be without her either. He needed her as much as she needed him. He was nothing without her.

"You know I can't Tara. This is my life, my destiny and I want you by my side. I need you by my side."

There was her answer, the same one he had been giving her since she first brought UCSD up a month ago. She knew he would say no before she had even asked but she had hoped that maybe she was wrong, that the pull this club had over him wasn't stronger than there love but she was wrong. Letting go of his hands she brought them up to his cheeks, stroking them with her thumbs. She kissed him gently, squeezing her eyes shut as more tears fell.

"I love you." She said as she pulled away. She looked at him one last time before stepping away from him and walking out of the room.

Jax stood there not really sure what had just happened and what he was supposed to do. He felt the anger rage through his body as he turned and swung his fist connecting it with mirror above his dresser multiple times, it shattering to pieces.

Tara sat in her car for what felt like forever. It had been one hour since she left Jax and told him she was leaving but she was still there. Well half way gone, she had passed the Welcome to Charming sign a few miles back but she couldn't control her tears and had to pull over and she was still sitting there. She knew she needed something more with her life but she couldn't figure out why that something was outside of Charming. Why she had to leave Jax. She didn't give a shit about what her father thought or what Gemma thought, she just cared about Jax and what he thought.

The tears no longer ran down her face but the stains were still there, she knew she needed to choose. So she took a deep breath, started her car and headed towards her future.

He walked for what felt like hours, he was feeling the full effects of the liquor he had consumed. The second bottle was nearly empty and he had started to stumble a bit. It wasn't until he realized where he was that he stopped walking. He walked the spot, there spot. It overlooked Charming and from there it looked beautiful were Tara's words. Tara. He wished he never met Tara Knowles, she turned his shit upside down he let her in gave his heart to her and she stepped all over it. Fuck her he told himself.

Feeling himself getting angry he threw the bottle at the ground with so much force it shattered. He felt the tears run down his cheeks before he realized he had been crying. He was crying over a girl like a pussy whipped bitch. But that's what he was, so completely pussy whipped and he had loved every minute until now. Taking a seat on the ground he looked out at Charming as his mind began to drift back to the day, the day Tara Knowles changed his life.

AN: Okay so i'm back a lot sooner than I thought lol. I just had to get this out and see what you guys thought to see if I should continue. The next few chapter are going to be flashbacks and then it will go to present day. So please R&R I enjoy feedback!