Draco Malfoy was covered in bile. Both of his sex ed teachers were dead, and Mrs. Norris and Flitwick were massaging their mangled, bloody remains. Draco left the staffroom, leaving all of the teachers and nuns behind. Then he saw Horace's sexily saggy corpse and he cummed from the hole Cornileus made earlier that day so hard he had a stroke and died...
Earlier that day, Minerva McGonogall had sat down for a pleasant cup of herb and cum tea. She plumped a cushion (decorated with a silly diagram of Dumbledore's cock) and placed it gently on one of the 3 sofas in the staffroom. Just as she had taken a sip of the hot brew, she heard a knock on the door.
"Come in," said Minerva. The door swung open to reveal a young, handsome blonde boy. Draco's hair was slicked back, which made her inner elbow wet and excited. "You said you wanted to see me, professor?" Sang Draco as he positioned himself in a more seductive manner.
"Ah, yes. Um, Draco..." stammered his teacher, her arms drenched in tea scented sweat now. The awkward silence didn't help either.
"Professor?" inquired Draco. As Draco moved closer, Minerva tried to hide the pools of poo toothpaste mixing with her sweat.
Just as Draco was about to pounce, a naked caretaker came rushing through the open doorway. "WHERE'S MY FUNKY CAT YOU JAZZ ARTISTS OF NEGRO DESCENDANCE!?" At this point, Draco's 'mayonaise' had spilt all over the floor. "Argus!" said Minerva in a disappointed manner. "But Argus! You haven't any clothes on!"
"I am aware of my bare-bodiedness. That's why I'm looking for my cat, you canker blossom!" For Draco, the scene's sexual tension was too much, so he quickly removed Mcgonogall teacher's robes, and reached his fist into her saggy fanny. In her womb, he grabbed her internal penis and frantically started wiggling it about, causing precum to coat her insides and his hand, inside of her. As it became successfully dislodged, he pulled hard and it climbed joyfully out.
The zip on top of the now external lady-penis glistened in the candlelight. It resembled a Diglett. Draco's eyes met with McGonagall's. They were both thinking exactly the same thing...
Argus watched as Draco fiddled with shaky hands at the tip of her pinnessa. Eventually, though it was wet with oozing pus, he managed to get his octopus tenticle like fingers around the metal zipper. The skin dropped of sloppily in a seductive manner, allowing all of the congealed piss to dribble down her rigid body.
However, before it could reach the ground, Filch swoosed smoothly and sexily across the sweaty saturated floor and scooped the soup into his cat.
After slipping and sliding on the flooding staffroom for a few minutes: ripping clothes off cats; whipping gooches with panties; yanking nipples off of McGonagall...
"Proffessor?" Questioned Draco, his fingers filling the orifices created by the absence of Minerva's nipples. "Yes, Draco, my little mouth-boy?"
"Why did you want to see me tonight, Minny?"
"Ah yes," remembered Minerva, with now all of Draco's fingers enclosed within her nipple-holes. "I have decided to tutor you in the art of Sexual Education, to stop you from being so silly in my class. That is why-"
A loud bang was produced by the cupboard and a man with greasy black hair and a hooked nose walked out. "What's going on here? You sexy bastards, 10 points from Griffindoor, unless you manage to convince me otherwise..." Snape bursted out, whilst crawling out from in the cupboard.
Filch was sat in a corner, drinking Minerva McGonagll's Kinky Konkocktion (TM), though he managed to spill quite a fair bit on the floor. After Snape had reached the surface of the bodily fluids, he waded towards one of the sources of the stream (Minerva's woman-wang).
By this point, only Draco's feet sticking out of her breasts were visable if one were to project one's vision in Malfonagalls' general direction. This was the trigger for the magical dumble-cushion (the crocheted cushion with a silly diagram of the headmaster's willy) which started to cum animatedly.
Ignoring the kinky kushion, Snape started to justify his presence. "Minerva has appointed me as your secondary Sexual Education Tutor. You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of moist pleasure," Draco stopped struggling inside McGonagall's chest, and Snape carried on, "If you possess the pre-disposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the cock and ensnare your victims; I can tell you how to brew foetuses, bottle jizz, and even put a stopper in pregnancy."
No one knew whether McGonagall was alive or not, because she wasn't moving. This was probably something to do with the fact that Draco was fully inside her stomach, absorbing gallons of bile into his flesh. Snape's temper was rising, and so he threw Mrs. Norris' STD infused body into Minerva.
It turns out that she was in fact alive (partially) as she shrieked, "Perhaps I would get less STDs if I were to transfigurate Mr. Filch and yourself into a pair of condoms!"
"Minerva!" Replied Snape, "Let's not forget why we're here!"
I
Before Minerva could do anything, she died of internal bleeding.
Draco knew when enough was enough, and so stopped diffusing bodily fluids into himself. Before Snape could continue their class-
"Ministry buissness, here to inspect you privates," interrupted a voice from outside the window. This confused Filch, Draco and Snape, as the flooding staffroom was the highest room of the tallest tower in Hogwarts.
"Go on, make way, make way..." grunted Filch on his way to the window, from his wanking corner. He opened the window to find Horace Slughorn, with a nude Minister for magic in his couldren. "Ah very good," sneered Snape in Draco's ear, "New victims..."
"Ah! Draco, m'boy! Good to see you Milfboy!" Belbied Slughorn, climbing through the window. He waddled past Filch, and turned to Snape. "I'm just showing the minister here around!" Babbled Slughorn, indicating the couldron dangling in his hand. Snape looked seductively at Draco.
Snape made the signal, and Draco whipped out his wand and stunned Slughorn. Snape jumped into the couldron, and Draco cast Engorgio on it. As it enlarged, it knocked Slughorn out the window. Meanwhile, Snape was lubricating the couldron with his juices. Cornelius was very scared, as he had no intention of $€×ų / îńťėřćøúřßĕ (AKA doing the sexies). He got so scared, in fact, that he bit a new jizz hole out of Draco's ear.
Slughorn was also scared, as he was falling to his death. He died.
Draco was also knocked back, but Snape was horrified when he started to crawl into the couldron. Draco hadn't noticed that the spell had removed his clothes, so he accidentally put his willy in the Minister's eyes, blinding him momentarily. The Minister was not best pleased. "Draco, you silly boy! You've already disabled our guest!" Belted Snape. He hit him hard, and apologised to Fudge for Draco.
Filch wanted to see some punishment, so he expressed his opinion in a short shouting rant, "I want to see some PUNISHMENT!". He then pulled from his vagina a sledge hammer of a dislexic quality, and raised it above his head. He slammed it down hard on Snape's head, and it exploded. Snape then suffered an orgasm endused cardiac arrest and died.
Argus then realised that he had punished the wrong person, so started chasing Draco around the room. Cornelius watched in awe, (his blindness had cured in time to watch Snape's death) as Draco ran across the pool of Snape's head fluids and brain, and out of the couldron. His bare feet were wet with blood, and so it was hard to escape Filch's man-fanny.
He ran to the door and when it opened, a tidal wave of sex fluids evacuated themselves from the room. Just as he reached the corridoor, he was lucky to find charms teacher Proffessor Flitwick. He speedily grabbed him, and hurled him at Filch to slow him down. He did not, however, anticipate Filch to dive in fear out the window. "Oh dear we are in trouble..." mumbled Filch as he fell.
Several passing nuns followed Flitwick, then had a gangbang and died. Flitwick was in shock, as he found the two most qualified Sex Ed teachers lying dead in the staffroom. He tried to comfort them by massaging their corpses, though it was not as effective as he would've hoped. He hardly noticed that Mrs. Norris had done the same, out of mourning for her caretaker.
Draco left the room, and thought to himself, "What an educreational experience".