And now, the G-Man on Godzilla vs. Megalon.
Jesus, did you see this filth? If you did, I apologize, I really do. I had very little to do with the script—honestly, [my agent] Takahuro thought it would be a good PR thing, a nice family film to do with a kid, his robot, and his "family."
The "family" turns out to be these two dudes who are probably pedophiles, and the robot was a pussy that I had to bail out more times than I can think of. The one time he was good for something—that one time he lifted me out of the ring of fire thing that I could've easily walked through anyway, but it saved me the effort—I can tell you, his left hand wasn't on my tail. What kind of name is "Jet Jaguar" anyway? Jeez, and the pedophiles! What's up with them?! There's a reason I said I'd never work with Roman Polanski—fuck. Needless to say, there's also a reason I fired Takahuro after I got done filming this.
I heard later that I wasn't even in the script. I can believe that. Seemed to me I was just there to give that Jet Jaguar bastard a big star as a launch platform for his career. I guess things didn't work out for him—last I heard, he was flipping burgers in a Cleveland McDonald's.
And hell, Megalon wasn't even a good bad monster, if that makes any sense. Dude had drills on the end of his arms—looked like a reject for Edward Scissorhands. Couldn't even kick very hard—if the director hadn't told me to take those falls, I wouldn't have.
There was one good thing that came of this movie, though: I did enjoy working with Gigan again. He's great fun, I'll tell you. The only monster beside Destroyah that made me bleed—and hell, Destroyah killed me, and I him, so really, that doesn't count. But Gigan, he's a hoot. Great prankster. Me and him found out that Angilas is over on Okinawa, filming an independent blue film, so we go over and surprise him right after he films a scene with, ahem, abundant leather, shall we say. Funniest damn thing, and then you know who shows up? Gidorah, that ol' three-headed bastard, and the four of us hit the town. I tell ya, that was a night to remember.
By the way, sorry if you were one of four million Japanese who lost power that week. Didn't mean to roll over that substation. Actually, I admit it . . . I was drunk.
This has been the G-Man on Godzilla vs. Megalon.