Chapter 1
Bella POV
Time passed with an unchanging character after the night I was found laying lifeless on the forest floor. Was it hours, days or weeks since that fateful day? I didn't know and to be honest I really didn't care. The only evidence that time was passing was the steady cycle of the sun rising and falling out my bay window. I stayed in my bed unresponsive to the world around me. I liked it here. I felt blissfully numb. I didn't want to feel right now because I knew it would tear me apart. Renee "woke" me from my trance as she literally packed my bags for Florida. I threw a tantrum that would put any two-year old to shame. I was staying in Forks!
After Renee's "visit", I knew I had to get out of bed and try to have something of a normal life. I had to make an effort. If I didn't Renee and Charlie were probably going to me put in a hospital. People already thought that I had gone off the deep end and I didn't need to add any proof to their rumors. So, I got up and took a shower for the first time since that night. The following day was the beginning of my act of normalcy. I got up, went to school, went to work, came home, made dinner, did my homework and went to sleep. Each month faded into another. September turned to October and before long I realized Thanksgiving and Christmas had come and gone. I had become a robot surviving on autopilot. I know I should have tried better, but at the time it was the best I could do. I was literally heartbroken. It felt like Ed… he took my heart when he left. Sometimes when an unexpected reminder of him snuck past my robotic defense, I would literally have to hold myself together. The pain would start at the whole in my chest and radiate outward to consume and devour my whole body. Soon I realized my opinion of a normal life was still upsetting Charlie. After a particular vivid nightmare that had me screaming in my sleep, Charlie tried his best to talk to me.
"Bells, honey wake up" Charlie said as he shook me awake from my awful dream. I woke up gasping and sobbing at the same time.
"You ok?" He asked with so much concern in his voice that it almost made me break down and sob harder. It took me a minute to collect myself enough to answer him.
"Yea Ch…dad" I lied.
"Bells this isn't working. It's been months." He said. "Maybe if you…" I cut him off.
"No dad… I'm fine. I don't want to go to Florida." I said defensively. He didn't say anything right away but I could tell he wanted to say something else. I knew I probably wouldn't like what he had to say.
"You know he's not coming back." He delicately said. I knew he wasn't coming back, he had told me so, but it still hurt hearing someone say it outloud.
"I know." I said with tears in eyes and a whimper in my voice.
After Charlie knew I was ok, he silently excused himself. I had been so deep in thought over his words that I didn't even realize he had moved from his knelled position by my bed. The click of my bedroom door was what caught my attention. I was glad Charlie didn't linger. I needed time think… really think. I don't know how long I sat up in my bed staring out my window, the very window that he would come through at night to watch me sleep. I realized that I really needed to get on with my life. This was hurting Charlie to watch me waste away from this heartbreak and become a lifeless form of his once happy daughter. I knew I would always love Ed… Edward (sigh) and there would be reminders of him throughout my life, but I didn't need to let it consume me. I thought to some of his last words he said to me. It will be as if I never existed. Huh…yea right! My window was a perfect example to prove him wrong. Thinking of him wasn't pleasant and caused a great deal of pain, but this was a step that I needed to take to move forward. What is the saying everyone says… "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade". I needed to do something with my life, turn off the auto pilot and take the wheel. I turned to look at my bedside where my alarm clock sat. It was 6:27am on Saturday morning. I knew actually what I needed to do.