An Untold Story
By CallxMexSenseixSenpaixSama
A short one long chapter story.
I've noticed how Yuki's Dad never comes up in the story so I decided to use that. And tell the story of Yuki's mother. : )
It's totally all made up by me but I just want to umm put a better light on his mom?
Time keeps moving even when you're in the worst state. The world continues living when we are in the saddest situation. The only thing left to do is to move on.
I turned around and watched Yuki's back moving further and further away. He's escaped. Or rather, he is freed. I wonder. I wonder everyday. After all the things I've done to him, how is it that he can still forgive me. How is it that he can still call me mother? I can only imagine the chaotic turmoil inside of him his whole life. Many don't know, but I watched him. When he cried and reached out for me. His fear showing when he came upon the room. The hopeless look and the lifeless eyes as he sat there, by himself. Saying sorry isn't enough. Repenting isn't enough. I hate myself for ruining him. I can't be seen as a mother. How selfish I am. How low I crawl.
This is my story.
Face down, I shamefully entered into the house. A disgrace they called me. I never thought this would be how my life turned out. I never thought that one mistake could lead to this shameful day. Fists clenched, I kneeled down in front of the head of the servants.
"How dare you step foot into our household! What were you thinking? Toying with one of our inner house family members! Did you think that after your horrible act, we would help you? Did you think that he really loved you? Did you --!" Her chest heaved up and down with her furious breathing. "Did you think that we would take you in? A stranger caught in a situation she put herself in? A whore?!"
I bit my lip to stop it from trembling. Where am I? Why am I here? What was I thinking? I heard the door slide open and a pair of feet approached me.
"Is this the girl I heard about?"
"Yes, sir."
The man who entered the room lowered down until I could see his face. A quick gasp escaped from my mouth. A beautiful yet frail person. He smiled genuinely at me.
"You are welcome here." He made a quick nod to the servant. Although she had a disapproving expression on her face, she left without a word. "My name is Sohma Akira. I heard about you. I am deeply sorry for the problem we've given you. I will see to it that you will be taken care of." He bowed once. Before he could leave the room, I bowed down to him.
"Thank you. Thank you." I whispered. With a wistful smile, he disappeared. I sat there, not knowing what to do. But I did notice how magnificent this room was, and it was not even an important one. Feeling so weak and helpless, I longed to have never met him. I longed to never have slept with him. Thrown out of my house... Why must I seek help from the man who pretended to not know me... ? A shadow outline swiftly moved across the paper walls. It stopped and the doors opened again. It was him.
"You... I can't believe you actually came here... where I live.. But Akira-sama has made his judgement. He's asked me to provide you with a room here." He moved in closer. "You've brought in the dirt that I step on outside. Thankfully, it's not as much damage given to me than it is to you." He grabbed my arm and pulled me up. "To obey Akira-sama's orders, I will give you the job of manager of one of my branch stores. I know you have the tendency to work hard, so don't ruin me." Down the hallway, he went, showing me the parts of their household that I needed to know. He stopped in front of a door. "This is your room. It's quite well-furnished and perhaps more suitable than you would deserve." He paused for a moment. "Work your hardest and you might achieve what you want." With that, he left. A single tear fell from me. The last tear.
I must be strong. I will rise in status, doing whatever it takes.
Over the following days, they had me doing the jobs that a maid would be doing. I worked full time as manager and cleaned the rooms at night. Mopping the floors, washing the bedsheets, the windows, everything. Not once were they impressed. Even when it was only weeks before the due date, I worked nonstop.
My child... How I hated my child. He was the ruin of me. Yet, I loved him none the less. Frustrating emotions rising up inside of me. I wanted to escape. Run away. Move to a place where I could start anew. This child. He is the hell I'm in, but the happiness I get.
Finally, I made a success and business started to boom. Promoted to a high rank in the company, I was given the treatment that a CEO executive would be given. Finally eyes were not seeing useless trash. This family was coming to notice the me in a better light. How I worked day and night for this, sweating blood and tears. But something even more important came to me.
As soon as the baby was put into my arms, it was not a human child anymore. This... this... snake. A monster child. I almost collapsed into tears. After all I've done and gone through, my first child was a monster. The servants rushed in and gazed in awe at me. How I wanted to scream at them. But all I did was shake furiously. Make one mistake now and all would be lost. Then, Akira-sama came into the room. I wasn't expecting this. The light he brought with him mysteriously made me stop shaking. My heartbeat became steady. Breathing calmly, I watched him walk up to my bed.
"And you are the last to give birth in this miracle year." He said serenely. "The third one, and he is a snake. As you may not know, the Jyuunishi are special. These Jyuunishi, however, are the most special of them all. For their most awaited God will meet them." Breathlessly, I watched his face. What is he saying? He took my hand. "Your eyes are troubled. You must be lonely, being an outlander in our clan. No one here to love you. To listen to you. But today, I will do what I can to honor you and your son. You will be given a house in the inner circle and servants to tend to your needs. You must love your child."
The first thought that came into my mind was, If this child can move me to the inner circle, what more can he do? Despicable. Horrible. How mean can I be for my own good. I began hating myself at that moment.
"What will you be naming him, miss?"
So beautiful he was. The astonishing silvery hair. What will I be naming him... my favorite flower.
"Ayame."
"That is a perfect name, miss."
They began calling me miss from that day. I've moved up.
I couldn't take care of Ayame. With my full-time job, it was impossible. The only time I saw him was at night. As years passed by, my status became impressive and at the top in the house. However, Ayame began looking over me. He didn't see me as a real mother. Usually out with the other 2 Jyuunishi, school, and everything else that would keep him from the house. The way he acted with me. As if I was just a person there to play the role of mother while he's still a child. Was this the punishment for not taking care of him? Was this the child that I gave birth to? Is it because I wasn't there when he was conscious to show him love? To become so careless like that. To show that he doesn't care about me... My own child... Why must I put up with more of this... ? Irritation took over me whenever I was with him. But never did I touch him.
News reached my ears that the Akito, Akira-sama's daughter was born. The God. Is she really a God?
A few years later, Akira-sama died. I hadn't seen him again for all these years. I felt like I owed him something. He was the only one there to help me in my time of need. But what... ? My grief and mourning for him didn't last long. My personal emotions were locked away.
Then, that night came. He (Yuki's dad) came to see me in the middle of the night. Without showing any resistance, I laid there, emotionless, as he made love to me. A few days later, as I expected, I showed signs of pregnancy again.
I named my second son after what I've become. Snow or Yuki. I can't raise him like I did with Ayame. Taking maternity leave, someone else filled in for me at work and I stayed at home. I chose everything he would do. His clothes, his food, his belongings. Everything. I had this monstrosity of an obsession to make him my dream child. But it wasn't working.
He was obedient, yes, but so empty. There was not much life to him. All he did was silently watch me, follow me, obey me. He was another beauty of a child. Almost exactly like Ayame. How much I wanted him to be different though.
One day, the head servant came to my house.
"Your second son, Yuki, is the most special of the Jyuunishi. For he is the closest to God. Akito demands to meet him and to be his playmate."
The closest to God, she said. Another opportunity to rise in family status. Also, I could pay back my debt to Akira-sama. So, I began sending Yuki everyday to Akito.
How cruel I was becoming, for I was aware of how cruel I was. I eventually began to wish I was never born. That I never came here. That Yuki wouldn't have to have suffered the traumatizing childhood I gave him. I knew I gave him his sense of security as all mothers do. But I betrayed him. Again and again. The anger I had against myself was let loose on him. I didn't want to be called his mother. He deserved better than me.
I noticed the fear everytime I sent him to that room. I couldn't control myself. When he pleaded with me for the first time, I was shocked by my harshness. Threatening to hit him if he cried anymore. The frustration, the closed box of emotions, the hate for myself. I couldn't stand it. I wanted to run away time and time again. Sending him there and bringing him back were my most feared times of the day.
Eventually, I began to refuse to see him as it caused me pain to do so. I chose the best school in the district for him. For a time, he was happy. I was glad that he could communicate with other children and make friends after all the pain I've caused him. But that only lasted for a short period of time. He relapsed into his fearful, traumatized state again. Because I hated myself, I avoided seeing him. Because I avoided seeing him, I hated myself.
When I see his lifeless body sitting in the corner of the room, anger would keep rising. Why couldn't he be more like Ayame, who's so full of life? I knew it was because of the things I did, but I kept lying to myself and blamed Yuki.
In his whole life, he never once laughed genuinely in front of me. That is the greatest sadness and regret I ever experienced.
When he told me that he was going to a public high school and staying with Shigure, I didn't know what to say. It had come to the point where he wanted to leave me. Leave me. His mother. The emotional scars left in him would follow him for life. I felt a bit glad for he decided to do something on his own and that I was seen as the bad mother I was. But I was also enraged. I let him go coldly.
That night, all the tears that I had held in since I first came here let loose. Bawling and screaming into my pillow.
Over the months, I occasionally saw Yuki on the streets as I drove by. But he was different. He was actually laughing. Laughing. With this girl who must've been his classmate.
As you can see, he was happier without me.
Until his senior year, I never heard from him again. How much he must hate me.
When I came home from work late at night, the servants told me that Yuki came to visit me. I was surprised. Why would he come here? A bubble of hope rose up. When he came back again, the bubble burst. And so did my anger. He had only come back to ask me to come to his meeting at school about his future, as was required. I consented to coming, but I was filled with anger. At myself. At him. At the world.
The day of the meeting, I shook myself dozens of times. I wanted to change myself. Show him that I really did care about him and do what I can to support his future. But the wrong words came out. The angrier I became, the worse the situation got. I didn't let Yuki say a word. I insulted him. I insulted the school. I couldn't stop myself. Until Ayame came again. I was so highstrung that I screamed at Ayame and stormed out of the room. Was everything against me? I didn't expect Yuki to come chase after though.
This was his declaration of freedom. That I didn't have to relate myself to him anymore. His forgiveness for my sins. This whole time, I was doing wrong and I never meant to. But in the end... Yuki did turn out to be the perfect son.
"Yu.. Yuki." He turned around. "Don't... Don't overwork yourself."
Those were the first caring words that I ever said to him. I heard his footsteps leave. My first good act. My first step into a new beginning. And so I smiled my first real smile as I stepped into my home. Tears overflowing, I thanked God again and again. I wished both my sons to be happy. I wished them to find their inner peace. I wanted them to forget all their bad memories of me if it caused them pain. But at the same time I wanted them to overcome that pain and be able to see me... as their mother.