Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Kenny Chesney's "Guitars and Tiki Bars"

AN: Got this idea from an RP.

Roy stared at his strangely merry friend, exasperated at him. They have been LOST behind ENEMY LINES.

Does this man not fear death or something?!


"Come on Roy sing along!"

"No. they'll find us and we'll get shot."

"You're just shy"

"No, I just don't want to get shot. We've only killed thousands; I can't imagine why they'd kill us as soon as they'd hear us!"

"It'll make you feel better…"

"No Maes…"

They had been trekking the sandy Ishballan lands, for days. Somehow the two managed to get lost. It was a rookie move but then that's what they were: rookies. Roy had never been in a very happy mood since day one but this man who was his age seemed uncomfortably comfortable walking around a battlefield and singing.

"….Sixth gear with nowhere to steer
When enough is enough
It's guitars, tiki bars and a whole lotta love"

"Maes!"

"It's a good song! Sing it!"

"I don't care if you sing every song in the karaoke bar back in Amestris. Sing here we'll be shot!"

"Only if you can't carry a note."

Roy sighed, wanting to get back to base A.S.A.P.

"Tired of my beeper, tired of my phone
Tired of this tired ol' tie I got on
Sick of this traffic jam that I'm in
We all get sick of it all now and then"

"I'm sick of your singing for one" Roy added.

"Haven't been shot yet."

"Yet…"

"When I've had it up to here
I go down there
To guitars, tiki bars and a whole lotta love"

Roy had to laugh at this. He just had to. Now, he wish he didn't because it encouraged the singing target…..

"I knew it come on, join in. if they haven't shot us now they won't be."

"Where'd you hear that song anyway?"

"Mangoes and Marley, you know, fit me like a glove
Sixth gear with nowhere to steer
When enough is enough
It's guitars, tiki bars and a whole lotta love"

Roy rolled his eyes and added his own verse

"Fires and flame attacks, you know, are why I have these gloves.

Out here there's plenty to fear

Maes, enough is enough
Guitars, tiki bars and a whole lotta love"

"you know, in that sea of sarcasm, I think I heard the real lyrics"

"No you didn't, you're delusional. The heat must be getting to you."

"tryyyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiit….I feel like a fish jerked out of the sea
Or a bird in a cage that's never seen a key Sick of this grind and I think that I ought
To bring this grind to a grinding halt"

Hughes looked back as Roy started mumbling the words correctly.

A few minutes later though, they were singing together in a cheery tone

"To guitars, tiki bars and a whole lotta love
Mangoes and Marley, you know, fit me like a glove
Sixth gear with nowhere to steer
When enough is enough
It's guitars, tiki bars and a whole lotta love
Now I've had it up to here
Let's go down there
To guitars, tiki bars and a whole lotta love
Mangoes and Marley, you know, fit me like a glove
Sixth gear with nowhere to steer
When enough is enough
It's guitars, tiki bars and a whole lotta love!"

A gun went off.

"Shit get down!" Hughes yelled

"Told you!" Roy cried

Hughes looked up. Basque Gran was holding the gun and looking angry.

"What are you two idiots doing? Get back in your tents! This is a war!"

"Yes sir!"

Both 18-year-olds ran ahead to the camp.

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That night, Hughes and Roy looked at each other for a moment before laughing about their time being lost in the dessert. The whole incident became an inside joke, making the two more friends than fellow soldiers.