HIT & RUN
"Must it ever be thus-that the source of our happiness must also be the fountain of our misery? The full and ardent sentiment which animated my heart with the love of nature, overwhelming me with a torrent of delight, and which brought all paradise before me, has now become an insupportable torment, a demon which perpetually pursues and harrasses me."
It was a saturday morning like any other.
"Let's hope we won't see each other again until Monday." Rossi had laughed like every Friday evening when we left the office.
Will was getting ready for work and Henry was dancing around somewhere, too, when my alarm went off for the 3rd time. I turned it off quickly and murmured "5 more minutes." But Will had a different idea and threw Henry on the bed.
"Denied" I concluded.
"Mommy, wake up! It's time play" Henry chanted. I chuckled.
"I'm late for work and you promised!" Will reminded me, closing his watch.
"Ok, buddy, go get your shoes. Go on" I tousled his hair as he cheered and ran to the hallway.
"When will a day off ever actually be a day off?" I surrendered.
"In about 14 years, come on" Will moved the blanket aside, pulled me out of the bed and kissed me softly. He was about to go and look for Henry when I pulled his lips to mine again.
I put my Ugg boots on and threw over a black cardigan, since I hadn't planned anything for the morning, apart from playing soccer with Henry, who was so fidgety that I didn't even have time for a cup of coffee before he dragged me outside.
"Oh, so remember we have the play date with Cameron, so you're on your own for dinner." I reminded Will, squeezing his shoulders, walking down the steps to our yard behind him.
"Ouh, I think I'll manage somehow." He turned around to kiss me goodbye.
"I love you." He told me like he did every time one of us left.
"I love you, too." He kissed me one last time.
"I love you three." Henry sang as he jumped on Will's arms.
"I love you four." Will laughed, kissing his cheek and giving him to me. "Be a good boy for your momma, ok?"
"Ok" I agreed, putting him down. "Are we gonna play soccer?"
"Yeah."
I stood up and kicked the ball in his direction, waving goodbye to Will before he got in the car next to his partner, Madeleine.
"Alright, kick it to mommy! Kick it! Whoa, score." I screamed. "Say bye, daddy."
"Bye daddy."
"All right, kick it again."
10 minutes later my legs were tired and I was a little dizzy after so much action so early in the morning.
"How about we have some breakfast?" I suggested.
"Daddy already made breakfast." Henry said disappointed. I had no idea where he took all this energy from.
"Well, can mommy take a break anyway?"
"Ok." He looked down at his hands and followed me inside.
"We'll play some more after I ate something. I promise. What do you think, shall we make some pancakes?"
"Yeah." He got on his tiptoes to open the door and tripped inside. No matter how much he ate for breakfast, he was never full.
I threw the chocolate pancake on Henry's plate when the phone went off. I poured some maple syrup on it and stroked his hair on my way to pick it up.
"Jareau."
"Meet me at the office." Hotch said monotonously.
"I have Henry-" I wanted to protest but he added something that would change everything.
"JJ, Will's involved."
"Give me 20 minutes." I hung up. It didn't matter why he was there. He was and that meant I had to be there, too.
"Hey, sweetie." I ate the piece of pancake he offered me. "Mommy has to go to work but you can stay with Sarah and play!" I picked him up.
"Daddy coming?" He asked in his sweetest voice.
"No, I'm sorry, honey. But we'll be back soon and then we can play some more" I carried him up the stairs and knocked on our neighbor's door.
Kate was our rock, she was a stay-home mother and always took Henry when we both had to leave spontaneously.
"I thought you had the day off" She asked, opening her door.
"Me too but it seems like something got in the way." I made a pleading face, signalizing that I was in a hurry.
"Hey, buddy" She took Henry out of my arms. "Do you wanna go look for Sarah?" He nodded and waved goodbye as he ran off.
"I'm really sorry."
"Don't worry, we love having him. Take any time you need."
I thanked her and rushed back to my apartment, looking for some pants and shoes and grabbing my car keys.
Hotch called me as soon as I'd gotten into the car.
"We're already on our way to the scene, can you meet us at the bank?"
"What bank?" I asked, having no idea what he was talking about or what the case was.
"The colonial liberty bank"
"5 minutes" I turned the steering wheel and headed in the opposite direction.
I hadn't even really gotten out of the car when someone already handed me a bulletproof vest and led the direction to the SUV that would bring me to the others. I put it on as we drove and spotted the rest of the team standing next to Will. So he was ok.
I headed straight towards him and embraced him quickly. "Are you ok?" I asked, just to be sure.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He reassured me.
Hotch filled me in on details on our way to a trailer where we'd look over the camera footage of the robbery.
3 masked people were holding hostages in there and had already shot someone. A cop. Will's partner.
"Tell me exactly what happened" I demanded.
"We got called in because someone had called 911 about a bank robbery. When we got there, Madeline was about to step out of the car when they appeared at the side door and started shooting. They hit her forehead, she was dead in an instant. I walked around the car, shot back, hit his brother, got in the car and told the station to call an ambulance."
I held my breath. Will and Madeleine weren't even supposed to work that day, they took over someone else's shift. He could have died, I thought. Little did I know, the day was gonna get a whole lot worse.
Hotch assigned us to go back to the office and look at past robberies. I reached for Will's hand, squeezed it lightly and left.
We were called back after only an hour at the office, even though we hadn't really found anything useful.
"He wants Will" Hotch said, walking us to the trailer.
"Absolutely not" I protested. Of course Will would consider it. But there was not a chance I would let him go in there.
How many times had he accused me of risking more for other people's children than for my own? Now it was his turn to be the responsible parent that put his son first, that didn't think about the men in there who's sons would grow up without a father. Now it was time to make a selfish decision like staying away from that goddamn bank robber in order for his son to grow up with one.
Will was already sitting in the trailer when Hotch held the door open for me.
"No. No, forget it!" I didn't even say hello.
"JJ, if it means we can end this."
"What makes you think he won't shoot you the minute you walk inside?" I pointed in the bank's direction.
"Look, he wants out of there as much as we want him out."
"It's not happening. Forget it."
"There's no guarantee he won't retaliate the death of his brother." Hotch agreed.
"I know you'd do it if you were me." Will turned to Morgan.
I looked up at the ceiling, trying to breathe evenly. Morgan had nothing to lose besides his life and I felt terrible for thinking that, but I would have even encouraged him to go if he were asked for because it was the most probable way to end this. But I wasn't going to sacrifice Will for that. Never.
"Will, I get what you're feeling. But you are too close to this case to make that call." Morgan said.
"You're damn right I'm close." Will nodded. "Four people are dead because I shot his brother. And no one else needs to die 'cause of what I did."
"This isn't about you."
"Risking your life won't bring them back." I tried to sound calm.
"I'm sorry, Will." Hotch left the trailer to tell the others what we decided.
"You don't have to play the hero." I tried to keep my voice down but Morgan seemed to be able to hear me anyway even though he pretended to be reading something.
"JJ, this isn't about me."
I angrily stretched my hand out for him. "You gave me a ring and I gave you my word. That I would always remember that I have someone waiting for me at home. That I would always come home safely. This isn't your decision anymore."
He just looked at me, he didn't say anything. Hotch came back in, followed by Emily.
"He's threatening to shoot more hostages unless he has Will." She announced.
"Screw this, I'm going in." He got up.
"No you're not. We are." Hotch stopped him.
We stood behind a police car to go over the plan again while the SWAT team got in place to guard us when I suddenly noticed Will walking through the empty entrance.
"What is he doing?" I asked rather to myself although I already knew the answer. He was betraying me. He was leaving me. That's what he was doing. "No. No, no, no." I moved forward to run after him but Morgan held me back. "Morgan?" I struggled to get out of his grip but he was too strong.
"No."
"Let me go. Please!" I begged desperately.
"I can't do that." I felt Emily's hands on my waist as well. But they didn't understand. They had no idea what it felt like to watch him go in there and not go in there with him.
"Will! Will!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, kicking and punching Morgan, who didn't seem to be bothered. Will didn't turn around, his gaze was focused on the door in front of him, the people waiting in there, ready to shoot.
I felt like I had already forgotten what he looked like, how the colour of his eyes always reminded me of the ocean, how his smile never missed a chance to cheer me up.
He held his hands up and stepped right into the lion's den.
A woman and two children came out right after he had entered.
There was a moment where everyone in the lot went completely silent, followed by two shots. I saw a shadow of Will's body fall to the ground and felt my knees give in. It's not a cliché, you know, that you feel the pain your partner is in. They could have shot me too and it wouldn't have hurt any more, perhaps even less. I covered my mouth, gasped for air and just wished someone would tell me that I was dreaming, that I hadn't fallen in love with the obviously dumbest man ever.
"Oh hell." Emily sighed and put her arms around me, steering me in the trailer's direction. My feet moved but my eyes were empty. I felt like I was only a shell of myself.
Penelope tried to embrace me when I came up the stairs but I walked right by her and leaned at the counter. Again, everyone was completely silent, staring at me while I tried not to fall apart. Emily nervously chewed on her nails.
"Did you see where he was shot?" I asked. Nobody answered. "Is he alive or dead Garcia." I broke a little more saying the words.
"I don't know." She was close to crying, too.
"He was wearing a vest! He might be ok." Emily tried to reassure me and obviously failed.
"Might be." I swallowed.
"They're not answering." Rossi came in.
"All right, we need to get inside." I got up.
"JJ, it's too risky." Morgan stopped me again. "We don't have eyes in there anymore.
"Aaron." I gave him the look that he couldn't resist. My teary eyes, my pleading tone. Of all people, he knew exactly how I felt. He dealt with the consequences of this job every goddamn day, he understood me better than anyone and despite his cold appearance he had a big heart, one that suffered so much but still did everything to prevent others from having to feel like this.
"Let's go in." He said and I could tell he didn't like making this decision.
And because this situation didn't already suck enough and I wasn't already in enough pain and worry, the bank exploded the minute we wanted to go in.
I felt a flash of heat in my face as the flames smashed the windows and fell to the ground. My gun was still in my hand, my face lay in a puddle of glass splinters, I heard a loud ringing noise in my ear.
"JJ, are you alright?" I heard Morgan's damp voice, checking if I was ok. I nodded absently.
"Where's Will?" I pushed him out of the way. "Did he get out of there?" I looked around me, I didn't see any of them.
"Where's Emily?" Morgan asked.
I ran in the bank, he followed me, screaming my name.
I stepped over the ashes and remains, calling Will's name. I noticed stains of blood on the floor at the exact same spot where he had stood when he was shot. I felt like I was gonna throw up. But I had to pull myself together. This was my job, for crying out loud, and I had to act professionally, even though most people would have probably understood if I just fell to the ground and never got up again. I had to be strong, I had to find him and go home, pretending like nothing happened.
We found Emily sitting next to an old couple.
"Just let me stay with him, please." The woman requested.
"I can't find Will, have you seen him?"
"He might be down below." Might be turned out to be my least favorite expression of the day. I had to leave. Not only did I have to look for Will but I couldn't stand the sight of those two people anymore, the woman unwilling to leave his side.
Of course Will wasn't downstairs either.
"We'll split up." Morgan proposed.
"Unless it's a trick."
"Well then we're screwed." Ha. As if I could get any more screwed than that.
The tunnels led to an exit about a block away from the bank. There was nobody when we got out but I found Will's wallet on the floor.
"What have you got?"
"Will always says, if you can, leave a breadcrumb." Henry had always been amazed by Hansel's and Gretel's geniality.
"Ok, so he was here, and clearheaded enough to leave us a clue." Morgan looked around him.
I flipped it open to find a picture of us and one of Henry alone. It felt like a thousand daggers were slicing me up, slowly, painfully, but all at once.
"They shot him, Morgan, why would they take him?" I said angrily.
"JJ, I don't know, but we didn't see any blood down there and he's not here. Both are good signs."
"Yeah, but they have him, God only knows where or why. How's that good?" I ran off to get back to the others, hoping they had found out something new.
"Will's with them. I found his wallet." I cleaned up my dusty earpiece.
"It benefits them to keep him alive." Hotch confirmed.
"They must have a safe house set up." Morgan pointed out.
"Whoever their outside man is, that's where they're heading now." Emily said.
"But where? What's their end game?"
"There's no logical reason. They want to create panic." Rossi told us.
Well, they've succeeded, I thought.
Strauss turned around to take a call. "I will send two agents to look at the scene." She agreed and hung up. She turned to us again.
"They found another dead body, a medic that seemed to have helped Will."
Without a word, I left the trailer and left it to them to decide who else was coming.
A man at the scene handed me an evidence bag with Will's bloody shirt in it and showed me the security footage. They gave him new clothes and then shot the medic. For one second Will looks right into the camera, right at me and I felt a tear run down my cheek. I wiped it away before anyone could notice how weak I was. I took the bag to show it to Rossi. I wondered if it would be the last thing of him I'd ever hold.
"Will's definitely with them and it looks like be can move without a problem."
"Hey, at least Will's ok."
"Yeah, for now." I muttered.
"Did they leave in the same vehicle?"
"Yes, but it's been an hour since the explosion. Why haven't they left the city?" Things started to make less and less sense, we lost more control of the situation with every minute that passed.
"Maybe the next attack is here." Rossi mumbled and I could swear he said 'you'...
It's impossible to describe! There are no words for what you feel when the person you love is taken hostage by a team of serial killers. For a moment the past was there, so close I felt like I could grab and hold on to it. The day I first saw Will, my shaky hands on my first trip to New Orleans, the taste of our first kiss, our first vacation, his hands touching our baby through my skin, every glance, every touch we'd shared. Memories from the previous night flooded my mind. There was a minute when I saw my whole future. I imagined what it was going to be like. The nights I would fall asleep next to nothing on the empty side of the bed. My son never knowing how to throw a ball 'cause nobody would be around to teach him. I even wondered what I'd make him wear for the funeral...
Rossi was actively involved on the phone with the rest of the team while I kept on staring at the pictures in Will's wallet. Back in the days, when everything was good. When nobody believed that our lives could be shattered in just one moment.
"What's wrong?" Rossi asked me after noticing my panicky gestures because I couldn't find the piece of plastic with the stupid picture of which I had always made fun of on it.
"Will's license is gone. They know where we live." I concluded and abruptly our story took another turn.
Rossi jerked the steering wheel violently, pushed down the gas pedal and headed straight to my house. I wondered what happened if we were too late.
I wasn't like Hotch, I couldn't just go on, even with Henry, and I definitely couldn't give him away and go back to this job, pretending that nothing happened and that I didn't curse the day I decided to take it.
I blankly stared at the street ahead of us, not being able to make a sound, knowing I would break out into tears and maybe never being able to stop them.
"Don't do that." Rossi ordered.
"What?"
"Go all quiet."
"What am I supposed to do?" I laughed humorlessly.
"Yell." He suggested.
"I can't." If he only knew how much it already hurt to form those two simple words.
"You can't blame yourself."
"Wanna bet? I should have never left Henry today."
"You were doing your job."
"I'm a mom."
"And a federal agent."
"I'm a mom first." I raised my voice.
"Who had no possible way of knowing how this day would go."
That didn't matter. It was my job to protect him and I failed. The day I held him in my arms for the very first time I swore to myself I would never let anybody hurt him and there I was, 5 blocks away while he was possibly alone with a sadistic killer in our home, the place where he's supposed to feel safe.
"We made this deal. Will and I. That Henry would never be alone without either of us." I remembered. "I broke that."
"He'll forgive you." Rossi tried to comfort me.
Yeah, if he's still in the condition to do so at the end of the day, I added in my head, pressing my teeth together to keep me from telling him so shut up. He had no idea what it felt like to be in this situation, how many marriages did he fuck up? And he didn't even have a child, let alone give birth to one. He wasn't in the position to tell me what to do. When you lose a child, you don't stop being a mother, nobody can take that away from you again. But you're not a mom anymore. And that is the greatest tragedy there is.
When we arrived, Kate was playing in the yard with Sarah but Henry was nowhere in sight. I tried to call her but she didn't answer.
"She doesn't have her cell. Kate would never take her eyes off Henry like this! They must have him." I unbuckled my seat belt and reached for the car door when Rossi stopped me.
"Wait, wait, wait. We need a distraction. You pretend to pick up the girl and I look for Henry upstairs."
"Nice try." I said, opened the door and got out. He took off his vest and walked next to me.
I hurried through the gate, past Kate and inside the house, hoping Rossi would explain everything to her.
I quietly went through the front door and hid behind the door frame until she was distracted by Rossi, who according to plan, pretended to be the father or someone else who just came to say hello to Kate.
I snuck up on Henry, covered his mouth with my hand and signalized him to sit in his room, for a split second, he looked up at me, with those eyes that I've only seen on one other person before... As he ran off, I could smell his hair, the dinosaur shampoo, and got a big lump in my throat. But I pulled myself together and waited for the woman to come look for him.
She opened the closet, I was glad I hadn't decided to hide him in there, and flinched at the sound of my gun.
"Turn. Around." I ordered calmly.
She did and put her hands up when Henry screamed "Mommy" and distracted me for a split second, which was enough for her to kick the gun out of my hand. I pushed her against the wall, grabbed a case and smashed it over her head but she didn't seem very bothered. She ran to the living room to get her gun out of her bag, I pulled her back, smacked her against another wall and punched her with my bare fist. Suddenly Henry stood in the hallway again, staring at me, not understanding what was going on. I called his name and he ran away again but the woman managed to kick her foot in my face, and after I unloaded her gun, in my stomach.
She went for Henry who was sitting in the closet by now. I pulled her back and kicked her right back in the face. She fell to the ground and Rossi appeared, pointing his gun at her. When I knew he'd take care of her, I walked back to get Henry who was already running towards me. "Come here." I took him in my arms, he threw his arms around me and hugged me like he always did when I came home. I held his head and rocked back and forth like I used to when he was little to calm him down, only this time I was the one who needed calming.
Rossi escorted her out and left us alone.
"Where's daddy?" He asked.
"He'll be home soon." I said and I took it as a good sign that it didn't feel like lying.
"I's thirsty." He removed a strand of hair from his face. Under other circumstances, I would have corrected him.
He got up and reached for his favorite glass on the table.
"Where did you get this?" I asked, taking it out of his hand.
"Izzy." He said innocently.
"Oh well." I poured it into the sink. It looked like normal water and what motive did she have to poison him but I wasn't going to push my luck. "How about some juice?" I set a new glass down in front of him and sat down. He took a sip.
"Honey, can you tell me what you two did while I was gone?"
"She told me story."
"And do you know what the story was about?"
He shook his head. I sighed in relief. If he didn't even remember it half an hour later, he couldn't be traumatized for life, could he?
"And... did you two do anything else?" I asked innocently.
"She was on the phone."
"And you?"
"I drew you a picture." He crawled into my lap and handed me a paper.
"It's beautiful." I stroked his cheek. With him so close, I didn't feel so hopeless anymore. It was easily denied that there was someone missing and while we both tried not to look at the empty chair, my phone rang with Emily's ringtone.
"Emily?"
"JJ."
"Will." I gasped, putting one arm safely around Henry.
"They took my phone."
"Oh God, Will." I sighed again, blinking slowly. "W-where are you?"
"They're taking me to the hospital."
"We'll meet you there."
"See you soon." He hung up.
I breathed heavily, my heart beat fast, my hands were shaking. He was alive. I was alive.
"Do you wanna see daddy?" Henry turned his head to look up at me and nodded. "Let's go." I picked him up and carried him out the door.
Rossi stood in the gate of our front yard. "I was gonna check on you but Hotch just called me, so do you need a ride?"
"Sure." I got in on the passenger side of the car.
"Where's my car seat?" Henry asked.
"This is a special occasion, you don't need it today." I put the seatbelt around the both of us.
Rossi turned on the siren, clearly fascinating Henry.
"She's quite beaten up." Rossi commented.
"You better not mess with mama-bear." I laughed, surprised at how easy it was again.
"You got yourself one hell of a mommy, little man." He said to Henry, who didn't pay any attention to him because he was too mesmerized by the red and blue lights.
"Do you want me to stay with him while they check him through?" Rossi offered.
I shook my head. I wasn't gonna leave him alone again. "Don't worry, honey. The doctor just needs to see if you're ok and then we can go to daddy, ok?"
"Ok." He climbed on the bed and waited for a nurse to come.
When we had the medical report and were told that he's perfectly fine, we thanked her and went to where Will was supposed to be waiting.
I kissed Henry and put him down, knowing Rossi would look after him.
I wanted to punch Will! I wanted to scream at him until my throat burned, for putting me through hell. But I couldn't.
When I saw him sitting on that bed, I knew it. I had already known that I wanted to be with him forever, but after he almost died, I knew that I wanted everyone else to know it, too.
Life is short. That's not a new thing. But what stays long after you left, is your name on a gravestone and I knew exactly what name I wanted on it.
When he saw me, he took the bandage off, threw it away and held an arm out for me. I put my arms around his neck, so thankful that I could take in his scent one more time.
"They say I need another X-ray." He sighed.
A little sob escaped my throat.
He chuckled. "Hey." He tried to look at me. I unwillingly loosened the embrace. "Hey, come on. No tears." He shook his head and wiped them away. "It's okay. Henry's safe, it's all gonna be fine. He took my hands while I tried to swallow back the tears.
"Ask me again"
"What?"
"Ask me" I repeated and he knew. Pulling me close to him, he said the 4 magical words.
"Jennifer Jareau, will you marry me?" He smiled.
"Yeah." It sounded like I was giving in but I agreed with all my heart.
"It's about damn time." He hugged me, wincing at the pain as I accidentally squeezed his shoulder.
I laughed. "There's a chaplain here. Let's just do t now. Let's just get it over with." My aversion to having a big wedding hadn't changed.
"Hell, no. I'm not the one that's supposed to be in the gown."
"Alright, fine. Monday, then." I agreed. "Clear your calendar, 'cause we have a date at the courthouse."
He put his hand on the side of my face and sealed the promise with a kiss.
"I don't even have a ring" Will apologized.
"I already have one" I played with Henry's birth stone.
"I'm gonna get you a real one" He promised.
"Uh-Uh, you're gonna get me another kind of ring." I corrected him.
"Oh, yes, I will."
"Did she touch him?" He suddenly sounded angry.
"What?" I followed his gaze.
"Did. She. Touch. Him?" He said through his teeth, looking at Henry laughing with Rossi, through the glass window.
"No. I just had him checked through. We might have to burn the painting that they made together though." I laughed.
I went to the door to take Henry's hand out of Rossi's. "Thank you." I said honestly.
"Any time." He waved goodbye to Henry. "Get well soon, man." He said to Will. "See you Tuesday, then, I guess." He winked and turned to leave but came back again. "Oh, and Hotch is running around in the ER somewhere because he blew out his ear again. He's gonna drive you home."
I thanked him and carried Henry back to Will's bed.
"Hey, buddy. That was quite an exciting day, huh?"
"Rossi turned the siren." He grinned widely.
"He turned on the siren? Cool." Will high-fived him. "And was Izzy nice to you?"
Henry nodded shyly.
After Will's second examination the doctor finally released us to go home.
We ordered some pizza, sent Henry off to sleep and went to bed shortly after him, exhausted.
I snuggled up next to Will, held on tightly to his arm.
"Are you mad?" He asked calmly.
I nodded into his chest.
"I'm sorry."
"I know you are." I sat up and turned to him, barely seeing anything. "But what were you thinking?"
"JJ." He wanted to object.
"It's like the ending of Titanic, it's painfully unnecessary."
"I've never seen Titanic."
"Well, if she had gotten on that damn lifeboat, he would have had the door to himself and they'd both lived."
"I didn't have a choice."
"Oh yes, you did." I teared up again, this time out of anger.
"Would you have let them escape and hunt us down?"
"I don't care how many people they would have shot. They could dive a bullet into every. Single. Hostage's brain as long as you were safe."
"You don't mean that."
"No. Obviously you don't. What was the point? In loving me, in letting me know that you did, in telling me every day, if you gave it all up out of a bad conscience, for some strangers. That guy was practically pointing a gun at your head and you knew-" I gritted my teeth. "-you knew how slim the chances were of getting out alive."
"You do that every day."
I shook my head heavily. "I would have never gone in there. Not if a million lives would have been lost because of what I did. Not with you standing right beside me."
There was a moment of silence. "Remember when we decided that this-" he searched for my hand in the dark. "-was meant to be?"
"The night we made Henry." I remembered.
"Mhm. You're not getting rid of me that easily."
I laughed and blinked the tears away. "How would I have explained to Henry what kind of a man his father was? How would I have explained your death to him without saying that you went in voluntarily?"
"Your side of the story makes me look really bad." He grimaced, his teeth were glowing even in the almost-dark.
"I'm just glad you're here with me again." I lay back down in his arm.
Henry's silhouette appeared in the dim light of the hallway.
"Hey, sweetie. Can't sleep?"
He shook his head. I moved the blanket aside, he climbed up, over me and got comfortable between Will and me. He was sound asleep a minute later.
"You know I never would have let him alone with her" Will whispered. "But she said she'd kill you and I wasn't going to let that happen! I had to do everything in my power, I at least had to try, to protect you." Will brushed Henry's long blond hair, not lowering his gaze.
"You don't need to defend yourself." I trusted him more than anything to make the right choices for this family, aside from this one little mistake that I was gonna make sure he would regret for the rest of his life. Plus, we had her profile and she wasn't the kind of woman to kill a child, she would have rather enjoyed the pleasure of killing us and Henry becoming an orphan. My little boy without his mommy and daddy, all alone in this cruel world...
"I'm sorry." He apologized but I wasn't sure for what.
"You know what?" I changed my mind. "I'm not! I'm happy. It could have been you." My eyes filled up with tears again, I didn't seem to be able to control it that day. "You could have sat in that driver's seat and be dead by now."
"Shh, I'm not!" He tried to kiss me, which was difficult with a 4 year old in between, so he carefully lifted Henry up and set him back down on the other side of him. I chuckled.
"How's your shoulder?" I worried.
"Great"
"You sure?"
"It's nothing compared to the pain I'd be in if I wasn't here with you." He kissed my forehead and I was so content, so joyful. Everything was so perfect, so much more than perfect, that it almost hurt. But really just almost...
Yes, I realize that some phrases sound like Breaking Dawn, I'm sorry about that I didn't do it on purpose ;)
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