Shopping, Cooking, and Catastrophes

"Look, you don't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth!"

Amelia F. Jones was making a scene in the mall, wrapped in a thick coat and scarf and her hair messy from pulling it.

She was baring her teeth at the cashier of the antics store. "In a matter of hours my boyfriend of one year's parents are going to arrive and I need to make a damn good, pardon my language, impression! His mother is all classy and loves tea so I NEED that tea set, how could you possibly be out?!

Unfortunately for her the cashier, tired, cold, and ready to head home, could not care less about her problems.

"Because, princess," the short Italian man snarled, "When things are popular they get bought and then they get sold out-it's a fact of life."

"And that's why most stores usually get popular items in stock after they run out," Amelia and the cashier were practically nose to nose.

"Not tonight," the cashier replied, "The man who usually does the stocking up is off on his Christmas vacation and I seriously doubt he'll drop everything to get you your precious little tea set." He indicated to the store full of antique looking breakables. "There's plenty of stuff in this store classy old hags will like, buy something else!"

"That's not going to work," Amelia let out a frustrated groan, "But fine-I'll go die alone, much like you will probably do with that attitude!" She turned on her heel and stomped off, people practically diving to get out of her way, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR," the cashier yelled back.

Amelia sat on the cold cement, her back pressed against the wall of the large building. She knew Arthur was waiting for her to get home but she just couldn't summon the energy to get up and face her failure.

His parents, especially his mother, were never going to accept her.

The winter world around her grew blurry as she started to cry. She hugged her knees against her chest, this was awful, and she insulted some random boy because of it.

"How spoiled can you be," a familiar voice growled and she looked up in surprise to see that Italian cashier glaring down at her, a cigarette hanging loose at the edge of his lips.

"You can't get some stupid tea set so you're crying out in the cold," he asked in disgust, "I don't even get why that thing was so popular."

"I'm not crying because of a stupid tea set," Amelia snapped, furiously wiping at her eyes. "I'm crying because I'm going to lose my boyfriend!"

"… Are you one of those weird chicks who stay with petty guys, because that's what he is if he dumps you because you couldn't get a few pieces of pretty glass cups."

Amelia shook her head, "No, no, he doesn't even care about this present. He's going to break up with me because his parents don't like me! And he's one of those old-fashioned guys who listen to his parents and want to be with someone who they approve of." More tears started to streak her cheeks, "He's going to leave me for a pretty British girl who acts like a lady and wears skirts and does that whole pinky sticking out while drinking tea thing and I'm going to die alone! And all because of the very first time I met his parents!"

"What the fuck did you do to doom you to the life of a cat lady," the cashier asked, now looking interested.

Amelia blushed, "A friend of mine got me tickets to a masked Mexican wrestling match and I…I went and like covered my whole body in some crazy paint…that didn't come off for a week… I met the man I love's parents looking like a crazy clown."

The Italian broke into laughter, making Amelia jump then glare at him. "Hey! Don't laugh, it was embarrassing!"

"Well, not to beat you Princess but I've had more embarrassing encounters," he replied, sliding down to sit with her on the ground. "I wish I was wearing wrestler paint the first time I met my significant other's parents."

"Oh? What happened?"

"Their parents walked in when we weren't wearing any clothes."

Amelia gaped at him and he smirked, "Oh yeah, oh yeah. You want to talk about not being able to look people in the eye. But we all got over it."

"Well, that's good," Amelia admitted, "But were their parents old fashioned?"

"Nope, they were pretty up beat, all about the pop culture."

"My boyfriend's parents are probably less forgiving then," Amelia replied, her shoulders drooping.

"Well, we can definitely say I was a little upset about the whole thing…I was thinking just like you… But the idiot I'm dating promised they'd always love me no matter what. Isn't that the same for you and your boyfriend?"

Amelia smiled, "Yeah, I think he is. I wouldn't be with him if he was that fickle. I just made a big deal over nothing."

"You wouldn't make such a big deal if you didn't love him," the Italian replied.

Amelia nodded, and then pulled the cashier into a hug, "I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you."

The man was tensed but he gave her arm an awkward pat, "I'm always a jerk."

She smiled and pulled out a candy cane from her jacket pocket, handing it to him. "Here, a Christmas treat for your boyfriend."

He took it, ready to say thank you then stared at her in shock, "I never said-"

Amelia grinned, standing up, "Why else would you avoid pronouns. Besides my Arthur said I'd make the most faithful of men unable to resist a glance at these," she pointed to her chest, "Unless, of course, they're not straight.

"Speaking of which, he's probably wondering where I am. I gotta go!" She waved goodbye to the unexpectedly helpful cashier as she scampered off, "Merry Christmas!"

"Happy New Year," he called, waving.

Arthur Kirkland bit his tongue, he was a grown man and he wouldn't cry. He may not be able to cook (a fact he would never say out loud) and because of this Amelia's parents will probably convince her to leave him for some big, strapping mountain man who could cook her breakfast in bed. But he would not cry about it.

He stared at the crispy, black, scones he set on top of the oven, like winning a staring contest at them would magically make them better. While his girlfriend had gone off for some last minute shopping at the mall he busied himself with making a nice home-cooked meal for her parents when they arrived, along with his own.

"That's not going to work out, now is it," he muttered to himself. He was at such a level of stress and depression that he was seriously considering going to pack up his bags, he couldn't face Amelia's ranch raised parents with this!

The sound of the door opening nearly made Arthur jump out of his skin. Thinking their parents had arrived early.

"Hey, baby, I'm home," Amelia called and he sagged with relief.

"Did you get the tea set," he asked. She was raving how it'd make his mother happy, though Arthur wasn't sure how. His mother already had plenty of tea sets.

"Uh…no," she said from the hallway, sounding awkward. "They were sold out."

She entered the kitchen and he paled, "Stay away!"

She blinked in surprise, "Why-"

She stopped and suddenly lifted that little cute nose into the air and sniffed. "Oh," she said. "You've been cooking."

"Yes," he hung his head in defeat as she walked over to inspect his scones, "Well, they're certainly…done."

"Just say it," Arthur moaned, "Your father will accuse me of trying to poison everyone."

"It's only poisonous if you can't eat it," Amelia stated and popped an entire scone into her mouth.

Arthur watched silently as, with a look of utmost suffering she chewed and swallowed.

"Oh, Lovely," he breathed as she gave him a sweet smile. "I don't deserve you."

She suddenly buried her face into his chest, making him start slightly before wrapping his arms around her. She felt so small…she was so beautiful…and she was his, at least, temporarily.

"I'll cook," she stated, pulling away with a warm smile, "We still have time."

"I should be the one cooking," he replied bitterly, "I should be the one taking care of you."

"Then kiss me," she replied with a flirtatious eye bat. "It's winter after all, and my lips are cold. Warm me up."

Arthur gave her a sensuous smile, he licked her lips before his mouth covered hers and she held him tight, tighter than usual. But he wouldn't complain, he buried his fingers in her soft hair, held her close against him. Just in case he'd never get the chance to again.

"You think my parents don't like you," Amelia looked at Arthur in surprise.

They lay on the living room floor, their feet propped on the couch, Amelia rubbing her ankle against his, both a bit more unkempt than they were an hour ago.

"Well," Arthur shrugged; a bit flustered he finally broke down and admitted his fear. "I'm hardly a tall, strong, strapping cowboy like you grew up with."

"I wasn't born in a western movie, Artie," she replied, "I never met a cowboy. Besides my parents love you, after all the boys I knew growing up they're thrilled I'm dating a proper gentleman."

"Are you serious," Arthur looked at her in surprise. "Last time we saw them your father acted like he couldn't stand the sight of me!"

"I'm his baby girl he has to scare you so you'll treat me right." She nuzzled her nose against his own, "Not that you need to be intimidated to be the best boyfriend ever."

He blushed, "O-oh," he looked away, "I see."

"Besides, if anyone needs to worry about parental approval it's me," Amelia replied a few moments later.

Arthur glanced at her, "Pardon? Why would you say that?"

She looked at him like he had a few screws loose, "Remember the first time I met your parents?"

"Yes," he couldn't help a smile, "I remember every moment of that day."

"Don't grin like that, it was awful!" She roughly pushed his shoulder, and sat up. "I needed that tea set to impress them."

Arthur's eyes widened when he noticed her shoulders were shaking and sat up as well, "Why would you need to impress them?"

"Because I know how much their opinion means to you," she replied despairingly, "And I don't want them to convince you to find a more 'proper' girl to be with."

"Lovely." Arthur pulled her into his lap, holding her close, "I'd never break up with you just because my parents disapprove. I love you, and if they truly cared they would respect that."

"Really," she sniffled, burying her face in her chest, "You'll stay with me? You're not just saying that for my gumdrops?"

He rolled her eyes, "You are the most ridiculous girl I've ever met. Yes, of course, I love you." He kissed the top of her head, "You're the only Christmas present I would ever want, and no one, not even my parents, will make me regret falling for you and moving in with you."

She looked up at him, tears were still in her eyes but she was grinning, "I love you too. Like, a whole lot, I was making a scene at the mall because of how scared I was that I'd lose you."

"Oh no," he moaned, "You're not banned from it are you?"

"No," she giggled and snuggled into him, "I was just a little loud."

"That's my girl," he rested his chin in her soft, warm hair, "And by the way, my parents think you're adorable."

He could feel her surprise and went on, "Yeah, you nearly gave them a heart attack, but they're always asking after you. Making sure you're well and that I treat you good. You captured their hearts too you know."

She smiled against his chest, "The only heart I need as my prisoner is yours."

"It's your slave," Arthur replied softly.

Just then the fire alarm went off and they remembered the Christmas turkey in the oven.