A/N I don't own these charaters blah blah blah they're JKR's yadda yadda yadda, you know the rest...
Also I'm beginning to notice a pattern forming with my Sirius-fics...it won't stay this way! RR please - sorry if it's a bit repetitive, btw.
They say you never forget your first kiss. But Sirius only wished he could forget.
He wanted to forget it all.
He wanted to forget the way she had looked in the moonlight, her hair flowing freely past her shoulders, shining like burnished gold.
He wanted to forget her looking up at him with those big eyes, as deep and as green as the sea, that he felt he could fall into and be lost in for days. The way she had fixed them on his own grey eyes and somehow told him everything he needed to know without saying a word.
He wanted to forget the way her hand had felt in his, so smooth and so small encompassed by his big paw-like hand. The way her fingers interlaced with his as though they were two pieces of a puzzle, perfectly matched to one another.
He wanted to forget the sound of her voice, like a song of sweet comfort. The way he had simply listened to her speaking, not the words, just for the sound of her, drinking in the rich tones of her voice. He wanted to forget the things she had whispered in his ear, secrets for him alone, secrets that had made him warm, secrets that had brought a smile to his lips.
He closed his eyes against the memories as they came back, forcing their way, unbidden, back into his mind's eye, making him remember, making him relive it.
He didn't want to remember anymore.
He didn't want to remember the feel of her as he held her close to him, feeling her heart beating as surely as if it were in his own chest, sharing the warmth of her body with him.
He didn't want to remember the way her lips had brushed his, gently, so gently, light as breath. He didn't want to remember the way she had kissed him then, fiercely, passionately. He didn't want to remember the taste of her kisses as they rained down on him like tears from heaven.
He didn't want to remember the feel of her hands on his body, in his hair. The touch of her fingers on his face, soft as air. He didn't want to remember how her hair had felt against his own fingers, silky smooth and full of the scent of pine.
What good would remembering do? Memories like this were best confined to the past where they belonged.
She had been his first kiss. He knew she would be his last. He wanted no one else.
At the sound of footsteps crunching on the gravel behind him, Sirius turned to see his tuxedo'd best friend half-running towards him.
'Sirius, what're you still doing out here!' James' voice was breathless. 'We're about to start, you're the best man! C'mon!' He extended his hand to Sirius to help him up. Sirius took it, hiding the whisky bottle in his pocket as he did so.
Normally he was tee-total. Today, however, was different. Today he felt he needed Dutch courage to get safely through it.
Today he gave away the woman he loved to the man he loved even more.