i Chapter 2 – Death and Deceit /i
Arianna saw him fall back unconscious with a measure of anger and relief. She did not want to answer his piercing glare yet she would have given half her soul to look into those eyes – without the usual barriers – again. They were so deep, so lonely, and so full of emotion that she could have drowned in them.
He gave a weak twitch. Arianna immediately squelched her reaction. It was time to take care of him as a patient and not as an obsession. Which needs to be purged by the way! she reminded herself as she moved forward and knelt by his side.
She pulled away the coverlet to fully look at his wound and was satisfied. She should have known. The phoenix magic was beyond a wizard – or witch's- comprehension. Also, the fact she had been adding additional potions to his daily diet (thanks to her new position she could do it without his knowledge) had helped magnify the effects of the ones he already took himself given his unique spy role.
His body shuddered as she replaced a bandage and, without much conscious thought, she laid down next to him in an attempt to make him feel safe.
It worked. He stopped moving and began the slow breathing pattern of a man deeply asleep. Her eyes moistened as she looked at his prone figure lying so helpless on the bed. She sighed as she slowly slipped out of the bed. She took a small mirror from its pocket inside her robes.
She crept into the sitting room adjacent to the bedroom and looked into the mirror – both apprehensive and exhilarated at her achievement.
"Grandfather?"
A few seconds later, the image of the legendary headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, appeared.
"Arianna" It always pained him when he mentioned the name but - while intended as a curse by her grandmother who correctly surmised that his daughter would ultimately tell Arianna the truth – it has almost become a blessing. A second chance to get things right.
"Grandfather, he is alive and resting. He should survive but will require a great deal of care over the next few days. It was a near thing. As skilled as I am in mending, without Fawkes, we would have lost him." Her tone was almost accusatory
Dumbledore smiled without notice. His ultimate plan was working perfectly. He must not spoil it now by being smug with her.
Arianna was trembling slightly as she asked the logical next question. "Has the battle ended?"
"Yes, it has my dear."
She could have strangled him as she had to ask the obvious question, "Did we win, Grandfather?"
His smile, even through the small mirror, would have lighted a burrow.
"We won. And, Severus played a crucial role. Not that he would ever wish it known." He sobered. "But, Arianna, Severus's role is now known. Harry disclosed it in his last battle with Voldemort. Death eaters are still among us and would like to make Snape the escape for the death of their leader. Therefore, he must remain hidden until we decide otherwise. Do you understand?"
She shivered, both with trepidation and excitement, "I understand. I can help." She added with feeling, "It is the least we can do for him. For the Order, he obeyed your request and ruined his life. I still cannot imagine what it must have felt like to have everyone think he was a cold-blooded murderer while having to act as Headmaster."
Dumbledore smiled. "Ah, you don't understand him. I think he probably almost took pleasure in having people think the worst of him." As she began to protest, he shook his head.
"My granddaughter, not only in your talent, but in your belief of people. It is one of your greatest strengths."
She laughed dryly. "Remind me of that in a few days." She then gave him the most beautiful smile, "But, in the meantime, we will celebrate the greatest victory of our time!"
She started planning in her mind. We'll have the entire Order here. It'll be a great feast and…
"My dear," Dumbledore interrupted. His eyes were full of tears, "I can hear your thoughts – terrible thing about being connected such" he smiled wryly. "Tonks, Remus, Fred…and so many others…are not coming back"
Arianna stared at his image and started sobbing. This whole thing was so terrible. Having had such a lonely childhood, making friends – and belonging – had become dear to her. It seemed that just when she established a connection with people it was taken away.
"Arianna?" she heard Dumbledore whisper.
Arianna pulled herself together and answered his unspoken question. "I am all right. Just need some time to absorb all of this." It was almost a plea.
Dumbledore nodded. "I understand."
A twinkle appeared in his eyes as he left her with these provocative parting words "Take good care of yourself – and our patient. I am counting on you to teach him a life lesson." He did not elaborate, nor did he intend to – now or in the future – but winked at her and left, she knew, to help with Hogwarts post-war operations.
She sighed. Time to get back to tending her patient. She moved closer to draw the bed curtains when a hand snaked upward and imprisoned her arm. Not too much strength, she thought, but she somehow was unwilling to wrench free until she understood the reason for the attack.
"You," The man rasped. "Why?"
Tired and conflicted, all Arianna felt was anger at the challenge.
"Recognize me, do you? As to why, well, it is because Dumbledore – yes, your true master, I know the truth - wished it. Satisfied?"
His eyes met hers for a second before they clouded over again. He murmured in disillusionment "Of course, never my choice…always the scrapes…" He fell back into unconsciousness.
Of all of the things he could have said, that was the one that undid Arianna. Tears streaming from her eyes, she climbed into bed and put her arms gingerly around him. So much death, deceit and devastation recently.
She whispered softly. "You fool. You will never know how long I have been there for you…thought of you…longed for you…" She drew a shuddering breath and added as exhaustion overtook her, "If you had, you would have fled in an instant – and maybe that would have been for the best…"
Shards of morning sun penetrated the room. Arianna's head was lying on top of his chest. Severus Snape. A name most would associate with a greasy hair, bat-like appearance, arrogant and insulting manners, and utter brilliance in wizardly. Almost as good as Dumbledore – and Voldemort.
Her arms tightened instinctively across the warm, wide chest. She felt a groan which woke her up. She quickly got her bearings, slid off of him and began examining the closed wound. She frowned. While the wound was doing fine, she did not like how long he had remained unconscious. She had to try and rouse him.
"Severus?" Had she given him too much of the Calming Potion?
The ebony eyes opened, unfocused. She asked more forcefully "Severus, can you hear me?"
But Snape was oblivious to his present surroundings. His mind was back reliving his last real memory. It had become his reality. He remembered terrible pain and a certain death and here was his angel, calling him to final rest. No more hateful words or glances – only peace at last.
"I'm ready" he whispered and his hand reached out to the face he had loved for decades.
Arianna frowned. Her body tingled at his touch which was most disconcerting given the circumstances.
He continued as if he knew who he was talking to, "I did the best I could for the boy," he added. His body shuddered "Hopefully, it was enough, Lily."
Arianna felt his words cut through her. The stupid man – Lily had never cared for him half as much as she did, yet she was all he could think about. Never mind what had recently transpired between them, it was always Lily. However hurt she was, she knew that his recovery was at stake.
He could not give up now. She had to make him fight for his life. All of the potions in the world would not help him live if he chose otherwise. Hating herself, she knew what she had to do to make him survive.
She squared her shoulders and spoke to him very gently. "Severus, I need you to listen. Now is not your time. You need to live and…" Arianna swallowed at the lie… "Protect Harry a bit longer."
She saw his furious look and thought hard as to what to say next. She needed him to agree to live.
"Severus, you have done so much for me," she said gently as her hands circled his cold, bloodless face. "Just a little while longer and we will be together. Promise me you will live."
His eyes stayed with hers "Together? Finally?"
"Yes. Now, promise me you will do this last request for me. That you will live."
He groaned as he whispered the words she needed. "Always. For you." He then said longingly, questioningly, "Lily?"
Feeling terrible about the awful deception she was playing, she could lie no more. She moved her lips to his and just kissed him. She felt his shudder as his mouth opened and deepened the kiss. She hated herself for doing it but prolonged the kiss, finally fulfilling her own need to feel his lips again – even if given to someone else they were kissing at the moment.
"Lily," he murmured tenderly as his eyes closed and he became unconscious once more.
Arianna, her whole body afire, muttered "I hate you, Lily Potter," as she pulled up the bedcovers and went to bed in the wingchair next to the bed. "I vow you will feel that way about ME one day soon, Professor Snape!" she snarled as she finally succumbed to sleep.