Disclaimer: I do not own 'Naruto'. This is probably a good thing, I would most likely lose it, like I did my bobby pins, my keys, my pay stub and my white sandals.
Warning: This story is not fluffy. It's cold and full of harsh-ness. Possible character death too. Seriously. It will make you want to kick puppies.
April 13th, 2014: HI! Quick update, I decided that the few little mistakes throughout this story were too numerous for me to ignore anymore and thus, I have 'replaced' that "old" LTWYHM with this one! A few tweaks, not much more. Let's be honest though, I probably created new mistakes in my self-proposed task to fix the old ones, but hopefully not.
Loving The Way You Hurt Me
The air pulled between her teeth, stinging her raw throat. The hood of her muted beige cloak lost its fight to protect her head, allowing her hair to toss and dance; an extraordinary vision of pink flowing over her shoulders. The cold, hard winds slapping her face without mercy as she flew over the landscape.
Chewing through the miles between her destination and where she should be.
She's tired and her eyes show this: the once bright emerald faded and hollow. Her cheeks are flushed now, but once she's able to stop to catch her breath the beautiful color will drain and show just how pale she's become.
Stress will do that, chasing death will do that and that's exactly what she's doing: chasing the black shrouded figure that had bumped her shoulder in the market today.
He was lucky her team mates had been away patrolling the other three sectors. Maybe he knew that, or maybe she was the really lucky one where Kiba hadn't thought to take a closer sniff of her cloak.
He'd have recoiled, yelled and pointed an accusing finger at her.
Then Naruto would find out for sure.
Sadly, that meager contact meant that when she bathes later, she'll have to stand naked in the cold air while she washes her cloak too. Inconsiderate bastard.
Miss-stepping through a patch of ground-covering ferns woke her up, her ankle stinging. She hisses, but keeps her pace. She wants as much time as possible and slowing her hazardous run would compromise that.
As it is she'll only have a couple of hours before she has to head back to the others. If she's lucky they won't notice her extended absence, but they most likely will; such is her luck.
Risking a glance up, Sakura can see glimpses of the night sky peeping between the thick tree-tops. Majestic and beautiful slivers of the shimmering, neon moonlight slipping through to light her path.
Sakura loved running at night, the world bleached of color, only able to see the barest of her surroundings. It was the sense of being alone. Of feeling like her secrets wouldn't choke her, or crush her under their weight.
Then the sun would rise again and she'd feel the enormity of her decisions like a mandatory uniform. It's her guilt… and her ugliness.
The trail ends abruptly and she stops just as quickly. One more step would result in setting off the trip-wire barely glinting at her through the leaves by her feet.
She smirks, and there's an edge to her quirked lips. It's going to be one of those nights. There won't be any hiding this by morning. She most likely will be longer than her allotted two hours as well.
Feeling the air pass into her lungs a little easier after her sprint, she curves her spine, laying her hands on the ground behind her and uses her toes to snap the wire.
Sharp whistles rush at her from all directions, dozens of black, precision weapons flying with deadly intent.
She's able to dodge most of the shuriken, but two whistle by just a hair too close on either side of her hips, cutting slits through her dress and the back of her cloak. They're poisoned: the cuts burn.
Someone's in a foul mood.
She feels his presence nearby and knows he's watching her, watching Sakura's eyes narrow as she thinks things through quickly, attempting to outsmart and out maneuver him. Not an easy feat; he's a genius after all.
She also knows there's no point to running away. She didn't leave her squad in the middle of the night and run all the way here just to turn tail and go back, if he'd even let her go.
Reaching for one of the shuriken sunken into the ground, grasping the weapon tightly, she spins and launches it toward an alcove in the trees. The leaves tremble and she hears the blade embed into the trunk.
She throws five others instantly and leaps into the opening her attack provided.
She doesn't see him, but knows he's close. His breath is practically on her neck. She doesn't stop moving, always flipping and ducking, twisting and leaping. A few more burning cuts appear, but she'd deal with the poison later. It wasn't as lethal to her anymore. She's become nearly immune after so many months.
He finally melts free of the shadows, standing directly in front of her. From his posture she can tell that he's frustrated and angry. She almost changes her mind; he's especially hard on her when he's like this, but she's a masochist at heart.
Injuries heal. Her heart won't.
She moistens her lips with a subtle swipe of her tongue. "Sasuke..." She's never brave enough to meet his eyes when they battle, but she sees his lips lift into a menacing grin.
"Hn"
He flickers and she feels the air at her left shiver, she spins left, knowing that he's aiming for her right. She's correct in her assumption, seeing the blade of his Kodachi miss her side by millimeters.
The risk factor is too much to use all her strength, but the power in her finger tips is enough to drop massive tree branches in his path, to weaken the forest floor until it caved if you so much as breathed on it.
He closes in again and she's agile enough to contort her body around the blades, but his Chidori is another matter.
The destroyed acre of forest lights up with the jutsu, the chirping obnoxiously loud. He uses more electricity than blade, but she's not grounded this time. Her eyes glaze over in pain as the intense, paralyzing zap hits the back of her neck.
She's thankful that she won't die; her medical grade chakra protected her heart from shorting out.
She's also proud of her last effort.
Contorting her hand into a cutting tool, she drove it into Sasuke's thigh, his hot blood gushing through her fingers. The fight is over and she looks into his ebony eyes as her adrenaline fails and she succumbs to her own mind.
Her first thought in waking is that she's in agony.
The slim wounds on her hips, shoulder, cheek, forearms and calf burn incredibly. Her head is pounding, but the worst is between her shoulder blades. It feels like her spine melted. Wiggling her toes, she's immensely happy to feel them move.
She concentrates her chakra to the wound. It's bad. Any normal person would have died instantly; she's just resilient and well protected by her chakra. She has to be.
She takes a moment to clear her mind of all thoughts but that of the task ahead of her: surgery on her own body. She's driving blind, but she's confidant in her own abilities and has ample amount of experience to aid her.
Slowly, the cracks in her vertebrae heal, then the singes along the column. He could have severed the nerves and Sakura knows that he must have pulled back at that last moment.
Finally she heals the open wound. Her flesh is charred and her eyes sting with the sweat and tears as she revives the dead cells. She hates this part. The pain is nearly enough to break her concentration, but she knows it'll hurt until it's healed, excruciatingly so. Why put off the inevitable?
The raw, pink edges of skin meet and meld together, another shot of chakra and her skin looks untouched. The poison is filtered, all the scars from the shuriken are gone, but most of the bruises remain. Sasuke likes them.
She takes a trembling breath and falls apart. The mental and emotional scarring has ripped open again, her body is healed but now her soul needs to.
Her sobs are loud, her chest heaves and in her mind she's cursing Sasuke to the darkest depths of Hell. He's psychotic, she knows he loves seeing her like this. He must.
This isn't the first time he's sat and watched her suffer like this, but he only enjoys the show for a few minutes before leaving. She doesn't see him go, but feels his presence fade.
The crying eventually stops and despite the hiccups and sniffles, she's able to make sense of her surroundings. Firstly noted is that she's naked and laying in a pile of genuine furs and quilts.
Sitting up and looking around, she sees that she's in the very center of a room with carved stone walls. They're in a cave this time. She's been in other places like this, but this one is a little bigger than most, and somewhat furnished.
The room is also warm, nearly overly so. A little ways from the foot of her bed there's a rather large fire burning, fueled by logs the size of her thigh.
To her right, the rounded cavern stretches into a hallway of sorts. No lights though, and it made what she assumed to be the exit, seem ominous. Short, stone pillars flank the opening and sitting on top of them are Sasuke's weapons. His Kodachi, multiple Fuuma Shuriken, a few kunai and rounds of ninja wire all laid out neatly. On the floor beside the pillars sits a small pile of rags, oil and another bottle with a brown liquid Sakura assumes is poison.
Behind her, a long, wooden table with three crudely-made chairs sits against the wall. An empty drinking glass poised by the edge, condensation beads on the sides.
Her clothes are folded neatly on one of the chairs, her weapons sitting on top of the pile.
Aside from the fire's crackling, hisses and popping, the room was quiet so the echo of footsteps seemed loud to her.
Loud for Sasuke, but it was him. He materialized from the darkened hallway, bare chest, pants undone and hanging low on his hips. He was toweling excess water from his hair with a damp towel, his expression calm and far away.
Sakura's heart hurt; he truly is hateful if he could leave to bathe while she laid there and cried.
"Sakura" His voice; deep and sultry, is enough to raise the hair on Sakura's arms. She looks up and meets his gaze. He tosses the towel aside, letting it fall where it may and stalks toward her.
Her head tilts to keep eye contact as he nears, his toes meet the edge of the bed and he stands there, staring.
She wished she could read him like Naruto could. Now would be a good time to know just what was running through his mind.
Sinking into a crouch, he reaches her level and with a grace to be envious of, he lifts his arm and lays his hand on the side of her face, his thumb wiping the tracks of her tears from where they'd trailed.
She feels him pull her toward him and with a sigh, she closes her eyes and melts into his kiss.
This is why she keeps coming back.
He shouldn't kiss like this; warm and soft, gentle. He caresses her face as he tilts her head to the side, drawing her mouth to open a little more. Her tongue meets his and they tangle, wrapped around each other as he drops to his knees and moves in closer.
She can smell his soap; a mix of sandalwood and menthol. It's the one she'd given him to help with the burning when he uses his Katon jutsu. She knows she smells like the forest, of sweat and vanilla. She'd like to bathe first, but he won't let her. He likes when she smells like this; it's natural and he's intoxicated by it.
She's fine with that.
Her arms snake around his neck and she breaks a few strands of his hair in her fists, he smirks against her mouth. With one hand he rips the blankets away and shoves her down, his knee pressing between her thighs so he can settle between them.
He's aroused; his erection pressing intimately against her, she gasps and grinds up against him, feeling the heat jolt her.
He bites her bottom lip, bruising it. Sakura winces, but says nothing. It's his thing; pleasure and pain. One cannot exist without the other for him, so she deals with it.
He's tender with her despite this, pressing hot, opened mouth kisses along her jaw, working his way down to the valley between her breasts.
She's breathing deeply and he watches her chest rise and fall before thumbing one hardened peak. Her eyes close, her chin lifting as pangs and tingles erupt just under her skin. His mouth follows soon after; the hot, moist heat feels wonderful on her skin, the texture of his tongue smooth against her nipple. His hand kneads her other breast, his fingers pulling and pinching until she cries out in pain.
He shivers and rocks against her core. She grunts and pushes back.
He nibbles and licks his way down her ribs, pausing here and there to mark her skin, her hands are on his shoulders, alternating between pushing and pulling, wanting him there, but wanting his mouth on hers, too.
She's pushing now, but he pushes back and her arms give to let him devour her mouth. He's a little rougher, biting her tongue, soothing it with his own. His lips press down hard and he kisses deeper and deeper. She used to wonder if he was trying to choke her.
He doesn't though.
With no warning he dives down her body and spears her throbbing clitoris with his tongue at the same time he drives a finger inside of her. Her back arches, her eyes fly open and she yells his name. The feeling is intense, her entire body aching deliciously. Her legs tremble, but he's relentless. Curling his finger he massages her inner walls, his thumb rubbing just below the bundle of nerves, his tongue circling it.
It's too much; her breath catches and she's crying, but she loves it. Her nails are cutting into his scalp; he adds another finger and rotates his wrist.
Her head snaps back and her freshly healed neck aches, but she's focused on the explosion of her climax as it washes over her.
Her entire body is vibrating, tightening around his hand, but he doesn't stop. She's pushing at him now, wanting him to ease up. It's hurting, but after a few moments she can feel the sensations building again and soon her moans are echoing off the walls.
This time though, just as she's reaching her peak, he leans back and after shedding his pants, he's entering her.
His girth is nothing to scoff at and she winces, it's a very tight fit. She's right there, can taste it, but he holds still, waiting for her to calm before he starts.
He thrusts, long and deep. There are tears in her eyes again, but it's in rapture. Every nerve is in tune with Sasuke, and when he grabs her shoulders and sits up, she understands what he wants.
Still inside her, she's brought to his lap, his hand grabs her throat and, none too gently, he pushes her back until her head hits the furs on the floor.
The position is awkward, but amazing.
The hand on her throat occasionally tightens, and the rush of air afterward feels like a high. He's rough, his thrusts deep and hard and she knows she'll have to heal when they're done, but in moments she's screaming out her release.
His eyes flicker between red and onyx and lock on hers. The effect is strange, but beautiful. She stares, her throat burning beneath his grip. He's still grinding into her, his breaths quickening. She knows he's close and pressing her hands to the ground behind her head, she arches her back.
He's shaking now, sweat dripping off his brow, his hair swinging in his face.
She loves him. It's heart breaking, but true.
She manages another tenderly painful release, so intense she feels the inky black nothingness at the edge of her consciousness.
Sasuke is rather quiet with his own climax and just before he reaches it he releases her neck, not wanting to kill her unintentionally. His seed fills her and he allows a moment of weakness as he falls forward, laying his head over her shoulder. His breath is hot on her skin, his heart thumping loudly in time with hers.
She cherishes these moments, though they never last long.
She's had her bath, healed any telling mark and is fastening the button of her freshly laundered cloak beneath her chin. She wants to give him another kiss before she leaves, but his scent would remain.
She can't risk it.
Instead, she smiles at him; still lying on the bed, not a stitch of clothing on with a hand behind his head, the other on his stomach. The wound on his leg has seeped through the bandages. He's watching her, but she still can't tell what he's thinking.
As always, she asks the same question as every time before.
"Do you ever plan on coming home to us, Sasuke?"
His answer remains the same. "Hn. Maybe...someday"
She's realized that it's a lie. But it's still nice to hear something other than 'No, now die'. Nodding her head, she turns away from him and heads back to the squad she left more than four hours ago.
Naruto is waiting for her at the Konoha gates, his own mission having ended the day before. He's leaning back against the post, arms crossed.
When he sees her, he stands upright and jogs right up to them and circles her, checking for injuries, in which she rolls her eyes and calls him an idiot. He shrugs, says that he worries and cradling her face between his hands, he kisses her.
She smiles against his mouth and kisses him back. Behind her ribs, her heart thumps - its guilt, but Naruto smirks, having heard the skipped beat, assumes it's her love for him, or his kissing skill.
Her squad members walk by them, Kiba claps Naruto on the back in greeting, Lee salutes him.
Sakura catches a double glance from Shikamaru and experiences a thrill of paranoia, believing he's onto her, until the strategist leans into Kiba and whispers something that makes the trainer gwaff and slap his leg. Akamaru shakes his head side to side like he disapproved of the joke.
Naruto also heard the comment, he chuckles and scratches the back of his head, his face brilliantly red. Sakura didn't catch it and tilts her head, giving Naruto the 'tell me!' look. He waves her off, saying it was a perverted comment about making up lost time... or something.
She blushes, nods and contemplates making a comment back about Shikamaru's relationship with Temari, after all, they go months without seeing each other but she feels the pang of guilt again and loses her brief moment of camaraderie.
She knows it's her fault for feeling so far away from her friends.
Walking with Naruto, hand in hand on their way to the Hokage tower so Sakura can pass in her Mission reports, she studies him.
He's blabbing about his own mission, loud and happy with life. His blond hair is a bit longer and always seems to fall in his eyes; he shakes the hair out of his way. His eyes have always been the most amazing shade of blue, occasionally golden, rarely red, but still wonderfully bright and open. They're one of her favorite features of his.
Perfect complexion, and the whiskers; they're so much a part of him that he'd seem wrong without them.
He's taller than her, she only comes up to his chin, and he's solid. Just being near him makes her feel safe. He is warm, body and soul and unbelievably honest.
He's quite the catch and many, many people gave Sakura Hell when she decided to start dating Naruto.
She'd been harassed, asked "Why now, you never wanted him before?"
She'd answer: "And where were you while he was changing, morphing into the man he is today? I was at his side, as his team mate, then his friend!"
As things stand now, she doesn't deserve him and knows it so intrinsically she almost hyperventilates when ever the thought passes through her mind.
She loves Naruto, truly she does. When their relationship had been fresh and uncluttered, back before she'd mucked up her own life, she had envisioned spending the rest of her life with him, completely unable to see herself with anyone else. She had, in fact, been hoping he'd soon ask her to marry him.
Until the mission eighteen months back. She'd run into Sasuke, they'd fought and just when she hit tears and was saying her prayers for Naruto, Sasuke had lowered his blade - already stained with her blood, and had kissed her instead.
She'd gone home and had fallen into a depression so deep it had taken Naruto two weeks to convince Sakura to tell him what happened. Choking on her tears, snot dripping from her nose and Naruto holding her tightly, she'd admitted to kissing Sasuke back.
Naruto had seethed, cursed and had shaken in his anger, but he hadn't let her go. He forgave her, laughed his fake laugh and said "Well, you got your kiss at least!"
She'd laughed through her tears, loving her blonde all that much more.
Three months and multiple routine missions later, Sakura was completely back to normal. She and Naruto were discussing finding a place together when she was summoned for another mission.
She'd kissed him 'bye' - never 'goodbye', and had left.
A couple of countries away, buried deep in the fog and wet lands, Sasuke had found her. Once again she'd fought him. Her anger toward him was driving her to continue despite the blood loss and broken arm.
Lying in the gray muck, her blood swirling and blending into the mud, Sakura had looked up into those cold, black eyes and lost her proverbial mind.
This time, she'd come back to Konoha knowing that Sasuke had skills with his tongue and armed with intentions of doing the right thing, but upon seeing her beloved Naruto waiting for her at the gate, she'd felt the deepest sense of selfishness.
She wanted them both and no one had to know. Sakura became a cheater.
The evening was clear, the streets lit brilliantly by the stars, the half-moon and the light shining from the windows.
Standing outside the restaurant, Sakura gripped Naruto's shirt-front, pulling him closer and opening her mouth to his questing tongue. She could taste the sauce that came with the shrimp, decided it tasted better with Naruto's essence mixed in.
His hands roamed her sides, one rising up between her shoulder blades, the other dropping to rest on her tail-bone. She moaned into his mouth when he tightened his grip.
Twenty four months have passed since the harlot in her surfaced, but six months have passed since she last saw Sasuke.
Six months of thinking, of being alone with Naruto, with remembering who she wants to be and becoming that person. Sakura is healthy again and so completely in love with Naruto, Sasuke rarely makes it into her thoughts anymore.
She no longer wonders if she'll see him while on missions. She believes that if she did see him, she'd be able to say no.
Taking a step back from Naruto, she grips his hand and pulls him in the direction of their home. Her heels make muted thuds on the hard packed dirt road, the ivory satin of her dress accentuating all the right curves.
It looks like she's hauling a reluctant Naruto up the road, but he's really just enjoying the view and laughing with her, stumbling his steps.
He's had a bit more to drink than she did and his demonic chakra hasn't burned it off yet. They do, however, make it back without too many problems, ignoring Naruto's trip over his own feet and falling over a hedge into someone's dog-guarded yard.
Minus one pant-cuff, Naruto and Sakura are ripping through the layers of clothing on their bodies. Her shoes on the front step, one of his just inside the front door, the other on the first stair.
Her dress floated over the railing to land on the fake 'Sakura' tree in the living room, his shirt on the fifth stair, his pants on the seventh.
By the time they reach the bedroom, they're bared to each others view and Sakura has never felt more beautiful.
He trails his hands up her arms, caresses her neck and holds her still to plant tiny kisses on her mouth, her cheeks, her nose, her forehead and her eyes.
She feels the curve of his muscles, the dip of his upper arms, the silken skin pulled taut over his pectorals. The six pack abs. This man was amazingly built.
She's been a medic for eight years and to this day, only one man has ever come close to matching the beauty of Naruto's body, but her opinion may be biased. She's only ever given her body to two men.
Naruto's decided that tonight is about her and he pays special attention to her entire body. He massages her feet, even cracking her toes, then up her calves. He kisses a tiny scar on her right knee, but continues his massage.
After an hour of having her muscles manipulated into putty by his oh, so capable hands, she wraps one arm around his neck and pulls him down to kiss her.
He's gentle, and inventive: blowing air into a kiss to heighten the sensation, adding chakra to his fingertips to warm an area, and then blows over it to raise goose bumps. Sakura uses her medical chakra to stimulate his prostate and he's heaving for air even before he finishes his first thrust, but he's got stamina in spades and has decided that he won't reach his release until she's met hers, at least twice.
The first one was toe tingling and sweet. The second one hurt with its intensity and her arched back reached a new degree. Her third made her legs go numb. Her fourth had her screaming his name, and then, only then, did he allow himself to finish.
Sakura, nearly delirious in the aftermath, decided not to neutralize Naruto's semen with her chakra, leaving it to nature to see if she would carry his child or not.
Lying together, half-hazardously wrapped in the bed linens, she feels Naruto's heart speed up. She can sense his nervousness.
Sitting up, she looks him in the eye, waiting for him to spill what he has on his mind. He sits up too, but gets out of bed, pulls on his blue satin boxers, scratches his chest and walks out the bedroom door.
She sees the bathroom light come on.
She's waiting for him, plucking lint balls off the blanket when he comes back with something obviously tucked in his fist. He laughs nervously, scratching the back of his head. Sakura's heart starts hammering behind her ribs.
"Uh…, hold out your hand for me, please" His voice is low and gravelly, endearing and almost squeaks. He swallows.
Sakura lifts her hand up to have a small, blue velvet box dropped into her palm.
Her heart stutters and she whips her head up to stare at him. The love and sincerity in his gaze confirms her suspicions and with flushed cheeks, she tremulously reaches out to open the box.
Inside, tucked neatly into lighter blue velvet folds, a ring made of pink gold. Five stone sat along the top: a sapphire, an emerald, a diamond, another emerald and another sapphire.
It was breath-taking and too much and wonderful and heart-wrenching and perfect.
Her hand was shaking against her lips as she watched Naruto's tanned, larger and steady hand take the box from her, pull out the ring and take her left hand in his.
"I've loved you longer than I've loved ramen and twice as much. Sakura, some days I feel the weight of this world on my shoulders and it's a responsibility I take on 'cause I want to, 'cause I've fought for it. I've fought for every good thing in my life, but you have to know that of everything, you are the most precious to me.
"You'll always have my heart, but, I want to know if you'll take the man it beats inside of, too? Will you marry me?"
Tears were running freely down her face by the time the ring slid easily on to her finger, glinting beautifully in the light coming from the hall.
Punctuated by hiccups, Sakura answered him with; "I'd be an idiot to say 'no' to that; it's not every day a girl gets to hear that she's more precious to you than ramen"
He chuckled nervously, blushing. "Well?"
She tackled him. "YES! You Idiot!"
In the middle of figuring out which script would be best for the invitations, after all, they had to be beautiful and well crafted; some of these would be sent to higher ups like the Kazekage, and the Fire Daimyo, Sakura was summoned by ANBU to the Hokage tower for another mission.
Rolling her eyes, she packed up the paper mess on the table and reached across it to kiss Naruto 'Bye', and shunshined out of their home with a shower of Sakura blossoms.
B-Rank, solo mission. Simple scroll retrieval. Two days, max. Good enough.
Scroll tucked safely into a lock box in her pack, Sakura was branch hopping, hoping to get home earlier to surprise her fiancé when she felt his presence.
Dropping from the tree and pressing low to the ground, she waited, urging her heart to slow the dramatic pounding.
Less than twelve hours ago she'd slit a Nin's throat and barely blinked an eye, but now her stomach was flipping pancakes and she felt shivers rack up her spine.
She really hoped Sasuke would just leave so she wouldn't have to confront him.
The whistle was her warning that he wouldn't go easily. Rolling, she missed a shuriken to her right and in leaving her hiding spot, another shot by her, swinging around and wrapping her in fine wires that dug into her skin. She was caught.
She refused to play his game. She didn't struggle, didn't cry, nor did she look for him.
The wires continued to tighten, breaking through and little trickles of blood began to seep through her clothing.
Minutes ticked by, each one feeling more dangerous than the last, until finally, Sasuke flickered into her vision. The wires pulled free with a winding snap. She was healed by the time he'd tucked the wire away.
Eight months had passed and he still looked the same, hair a little longer maybe, but he was still stoic, still annoyingly impossible to read. She really missed Naruto.
"Sakura" His voice was hot honey; delicious and potentially painful. It made her heart skip a beat.
Bringing Naruto to her mind, she fought to harden her heart against Sasuke. She didn't need him. Naruto was her lover, her life and the ONLY man she needed. She had an amazing life in Konoha, and for the first time in two years, she understood that Sasuke was an addiction she could not afford to keep.
Drawing in a deep breath, she lifted her eyes to his. He stared back at her with the Sharingan, as she knew he would. She had thought those eyes scary back when they were twelve. Now they were absolutely frightening.
"You've changed, Sakura"
She nodded her agreement, inhaled deeply and pondered how quickly he'd kill her after she told him they were over. She had two plausible escape routes and one damned iffy kill-shot on Sasuke.
Maybe he'd just walk away?
"I have changed …matured. I, listen Sasuke, ...I'm done with this thing between us. You and I are unnatural; I can see that now, but also… I can't do this to him anymore"
He blinked. For a heart-faulting moment his face contorted and he looked other-worldly in his anger.
"Hn. Who could possibly have taken my place? Lee? Kiba?"
Swallowing her trepidation, she held up her left hand; the ring shining brightly in the sunlight.
"Naruto, Sasuke, …Naruto is my fiancé. We're getting married in three months. The 10th"
He was so still, not even breathing. When he finally drew in a breath, it was long, slow and seemed shaky. He disappeared and to Sakura's horror, he reappeared in her face, holding her hand up like he was inspecting the ring, but his eyes were locked on hers.
"I'm sure you will be happy together" A flick of his wrist and Sakura cried out, her own wrist broken. His lips brushed over hers and then he was gone.
A sickening sensation twisted her stomach. Fighting nausea, she renewed her efforts to get home.
The sun was sinking behind the mountains when she broke through the trees and saw the large, red doors of Konohagakure.
Cautiously looking around, her confusion mounted with every step toward the gates. It's normal. The doors are open, inviting. There are two guards sitting at the station, one of them watching her walk toward them slowly; almost afraid.
The din of village life can still be heard, despite the late hour.
She'd had a confrontation that she knew would change her life and coming back to this felt wrong. Shouldn't they be sealing the gates against an attack, shouldn't the villagers be en route to the safe houses in the mountain.
Shouldn't she be panicking that Naruto, and others that she cares for, are battling an angry Uchiha?
Completely distracted, she pauses long enough for the guards to nod at her, granting her access. She's disappointed that they didn't ask to see her ID, or scan her chakra to make sure it's her.
Really, it's only too easy for someone to sneak in here. For it's past, Konoha is way too trusting.
But she say's nothing and vaults onto the roof, heading for home.
In moments she spots the slanted, brown roof of their house and makes her last leap into the yard. She stops still for a moment and listens: it's quiet. She plucks her key from her pack and adds her chakra to the lock before it'll budge. It's a safe-guard they'd installed. Naruto had said she was paranoid. She's thankful now.
The only light on was the kitchen. Calling out for Naruto, she toes off her sandals and frowns when she's met with silence. Dumping her gear on the steps to the upstairs, she walks into the yellow tinted light.
The kitchen is square with lots of counter space and darkly stained cupboards. The walls are sunny yellow, also trimmed in dark wood. There's an island in the center with three bar stools and a table against the wall. The box of wedding invitations pushed to one corner on top.
For an instant, Sakura's motor functions ceased: her body entirely frozen, her eyes impossibly wide. The scene she was seeing didn't make sense to her.
He was here. Sitting in a chair at the table, one leg crossed over the other. He looked so comfortable and settled in, at ease, even.
In his hands were the framed photos of herself and Naruto. Sasuke's burning, red eyes staring hard at the upper-most photo, just by seeing the white frame Sakura knew it was the one from their engagement party.
It had been a formal affair and she'd worn the white satin dress from the night Naruto had proposed. He, however, had worn his Hokage cloak that was tailored, and finished just that morning. Orange, with red and black flames at the bottom, all trimmed in white. He's quite a sight in his uniform.
He's not Hokage yet, but he's only waiting for Tsunade to step down for him to take her place.
She was sitting in Naruto's lap, her head back; she was laughing as he peeked at the camera from where he had been nuzzling her neck. His big arms wrapped around her, holding her possessively and grinning so big.
It was one of their favorites and was kept in the Master bedroom.
"I must admit, Sakura, you two are a nice looking couple. It's lucky he grew into his looks.
"However…, I imagine he's outrageously unskilled in sex. How could he be anything but, having saved himself for you for all those years, I almost pity the moron"
She bristled, but said nothing. She felt it was unwise to let Sasuke know how wrong he was.
"Tell me, Sakura, is he aware of your past...transgressions?"
Oh, how she wanted to say 'yes', to show Sasuke that Naruto loves her and accepts every part of her, but he doesn't know.
Her silence draws Sasuke to finally look up, seeing the answer on her face, he smirks. "Hn, how loathsome, darling Sakura: whore of the disbanded Team Seven"
Sakura wrapped her arms around herself. What can she say? It's true.
Even now she wants him, thinks he's breathtakingly gorgeous. He oozes arrogance and self-worth and danger. The worst of it: knowing that she has had him and could still have him. It's almost too powerful a notion to ignore.
She's headstrong enough to try. "Why, what are you doing here, Sasuke? I've told you, it's over!"
He sets the picture frame on the table and crosses his arms, looking so out of place in a normally love-filled room, but he truly seems comfortable sitting there. She feels cold; it's like he's sucking the life out of her home, out of her. He ignores her question.
"Where is the Moron, by the way? I had assumed he'd be here"
She doesn't know and shakes her head. The urge to scream, to run is clogging her throat and making her legs shake. She's never been this afraid before, but it's not her life she's worried about.
He lifts a brow at her.
Sakura's stomach rolls, her teeth clench and she bolts for the downstairs bathroom. The porcelain is cool to her hands as she braces herself and is sick. It's violent, her jaw aching and her throat burns.
She's shaking by the time she finishes and washing her hands, loading toothpaste on her toothbrush is more difficult than it should be, but the bile in her mouth is awful and she pushes, gagging as she scrubs her tongue.
She's looking in the mirror, studying her sallow reflection when she feels Naruto's chakra flare for the door lock. Horrified, she runs for it, inhaling deeply to scream, but is stopped.
Naruto walks in to his worst nightmare.
It doesn't hurt yet. Her hands are on her belly, pushing chakra to the tiny life growing inside of her, hoping to protect it from the blade protruding from her belly. The incision is starting to sting and burn though. Did he poison this one too?
Sasuke is pressed against her back, his mouth on her neck, tongue tasting her skin and his erection pushing on her backside. His eyes are focused on Naruto's pained expression.
Holding Sakura's throat, he uses his thumb on her jaw to tilt her head. She flinches, gasping, when he twists the blade inside her. Naruto screams her name and it's full of agony and tears. She wants to hold him, to tell him she loves him over and over. It would be all right to die in his arms. It's more than she deserves, but he's a part of her now.
What a beautiful child they'd have.
She's crying now, thinking of the happiness they could have had. Imagining his face when she would have told him about her condition, his expression when he'd hear the heart beat for the first time, when he'd feel the fluttering of her swollen belly. The light and love in his eyes when he'd hold their child for the first time.
She's pulled from her mind-scape when Sasuke rips the Kodachi from her; the effect feels like her insides are following the blade to fall on the floor, but only blood visibly trickles from the wound.
She's weak and unable to stand unassisted. She hits the floor hard enough to dislocate her shoulder, it's disconcerting, but she cares only for keeping the fetus alive, unfortunately she knows she has to live to let the child live, it's too young; only weeks old, to survive outside of the uterus.
She's gasping for air, everything hurts and she's using everything she knows as a medic to keep her heart beating, to stop the bleeding, to sew up the leaking hole in her sore stomach, to change the Ph of the acid burning into her intestines, liver and kidney.
To add another layer of protective chakra around the fetus; the one that had saved it from being sliced was damaged.
Then the internal bleeding would have to be stopped before she could cleanse the filth floating freely in her abdominal cavity, and then attempt to fix the open wound. That's a lot of chakra, and she'd used so much trying to get home.
The screaming and blasts of chakra, the flashes and clings of metal are distracting, she's trying to ignore them, but that's her past and present fighting only a short distance away.
She desperately hopes that her future is there too.
Shortly, it goes quiet. So quiet and she's hyperventilating now. She can't think; there's too much trying to process all at once. She has so many questions, so many concerns, and her healing abilities are starting to wan.
She's still on the floor, waiting for something, anything to change the now, to push the scales into her favor. She needs to live, but she can't tell if she's winning that battle or not.
It all goes away though as her vision fades with her consciousness, her body stops hurting and she's floating, unfeeling.
Then she knows nothing.
It's been year to the day. Nothing is the same, but she doesn't mind.
There's a breeze blowing in from the east. It's warm and smells like the rose bushes she planted along the fence. She's thankful for it; the smell of varnish coming off the newly built back porch is strong.
A sturdy, wooden porch swing hangs from the porch's ceiling, the cushions are thick and too comfortable for outdoor furniture, which is probably why it's quite normal to see Naruto passed out here, but it's Sakura sitting out here at the moment, her legs folded at her side and a warm cup of tea sitting in her hands on her lap.
She's in a pensive mood today, and it shows with her quietness, with her faraway expressions and the dulled light in her eyes. She's remembering, and lays a hand on her belly. There's a slight scar, and on days like today she imagines she can feel a phantom pain of the blade inside her again.
Of all her wounds, this one stayed with her. Occasionally she'll move a certain way and will feel a tug in her muscles, it hurts, but she's alive.
It's more than she expected.
Nine minutes. That's how long she'd been dead. She had been found by some nameless ninja and carried to the hospital where Ino had been frantic and had pumped dangerous amount of chakra into her friend.
Tsunade was summoned, and she'd made a path of destruction reaching her lifeless pupil. Her sensei had nearly given up on her, but just before calling it, a reserve had made itself known. The pocket of living chakra inside Sakura's body had pumped hard enough to physically lift her and restart her vitals.
It had been four days before Sakura could breathe on her own, two more until she would open her eyes, another two days before she could hold down solid food.
By the time she was healed enough to go home, word had spread of the incredible battle between Konoha's now, most notorious Ninja.
The battle between Naruto and Sasuke had moved outside the city's limits. The light show, altered weather patterns and sheer force of chakra blanketed the near-by village and drew the shinobi forces en masse.
Like a school yard brawl, the two ex-friends stood facing each other, surrounded by peers and all were shocked to hear Sasuke's story.
He'd taunted Naruto with stories of his escapades with Sakura, had provided details, in fact. He had smirked, watching the pain in Naruto's eyes as he learned that his beloved Sakura had spread her legs for Sasuke and screamed for more.
That night, Sasuke did more than kill Sakura, he killed Naruto's spirit too.
Tremors of excitement ripped through Sasuke when Naruto clipped him with a Rasengan, breaking two ribs with the impact, after hearing that this had been going on for two years. Naruto and Sakura had been together for nearly four.
He'd laughed out loud, hearing Naruto finally scream in agony after learning that Sasuke suspected having killed two lives with that single, all-too-easy strike.
And then Sasuke had felt his first pang of true fear: after all the blows, all the jutsu marring the former training ground, all the planning, Naruto had pulled something new out of his hat.
New to Sasuke anyway, and he could find no way out of it.
Eyes bleeding, he'd activated Amaterasu. The searing, majestic ebony flames dancing wildly across the massacred landscape, following Sasuke's field of vision until he met Naruto's gaze. He'd cackled then, completely lost in his insanity, thinking that the blonde menace would finally die.
Had he ever been more wrong?
The flames had paused, hovering in place before swirling bigger and much harder to control. Blood dripping freely down his face, Sasuke grunted in pain, pushing harder to propel them. They remained and steadily grew.
Alarmed, he attempted to cancel out the jutsu and simply try again. They stayed.
The hair on the back of his neck stood up.
A great gust of wind, almost of gale force struck Sasuke and he'd had to use a lot of chakra to remain in his place, despite hitting the dirt. An unbelievable chill rushed over his back …and then he'd felt the blisters, the flames eating away at his flesh.
Somehow, Naruto had used his powers of wind chakra, and Kami only knew what others he possessed, to mold the black fire to do his bidding.
Then they faded, evaporated, and only Sasuke's steaming and charred body to attest to them having ever been summoned.
Naruto had stood there, staring, completely incapable of harboring an ounce of pride for having defeated the man before him. It had cost him too much.
Even though he knew Sasuke was still alive, he turned his back on him and walked away, vaguely aware of ANBU rushing in to clean the mess.
The unnatural thunder clouds thrumming with pent-up energy had flashed and boomed well into the night, finally opening up to wash away the evidence.
He never did ask what ever happened to Sasuke. Neither has Sakura.
Sakura had been unsure if she still had a home to go back to, but Naruto arrived on the day she was discharged to pick her up. Not a word was exchanged between them and everyone knew why.
To everyone's surprise, including Sakura's, Naruto still insisted that they marry. There hadn't been a ceremony, only Tsunade to read the vows and Shizune and Kasashi to witness the event and sign the papers.
Sakura nearly let her misery show when Naruto merely kissed her cheek. That night, she'd lain awake in bed, alone. He'd slept in the guest room.
Time passed. The days blending together until a sleep deprived Sakura had finally broken down.
In one night, she had confessed to everything, had explained in gruesome detail her every sin. At the end of her tale she'd removed her wedding band and laid it in Naruto's shaking palm.
The next morning she'd found the same band on the pillow next to her, along with a note that read; 'Got called for a mission, might be gone for a few days. I'll see you when I get back, -Me.'
Things seemed to get better after that.
Long removed from the mission roster, Sakura devoted herself to fixing up the house. Not only had it been damaged in the fighting, too much of it now reminded the newly-weds of Sasuke.
She painted the kitchen a soft green, the den and guest room were both remodeled. Their room was left untouched with the exception of the beloved engagement party photo, it was shoved in a drawer and forgotten.
The yard was a little more difficult, but eventually the Koi pond was finished, the stone path laid. What friends she had left had helped with building the porch and she'd planted all the rose bushes. The lattice arch way and the swing were some of the last additions.
A lusty howl broke Sakura from her reverie. Taking a final sip of her chilled tea, she stood and walking with a limp; her left foot had fallen asleep, she made her way to the little, violet room beside the master bedroom.
Inside the oak crib, Miyu was trying to fit her tiny fist inside her gaping mouth, her little feet kicking against the blanket.
Hushing her with gentle sounds and humming, Sakura lifted her daughter and sitting in the chair by the window, she opened the front of her shirt to let the little one eat. Miyu certainly did that well enough; latching onto the nipple with ease.
Knowing she'd be here for a while, Sakura pulled a foot beneath her and started a slow rocking motion with her other.
Staring down at her baby girl, she couldn't help but notice how much Miyu looks like her father with her sapphire eyes and red hair; Naruto had laughed and said it ran in his family. She's beautiful and perfectly healthy.
A miracle to have survived, but Sakura figures that must be another thing Miyu inherited from her father: the ability to survive and persevere over the hardest of circumstances.
She's humming a soft lullaby when a flare of chakra let her know that Naruto was home. Smiling, she listens to him drop his ninja gear on the floor in front of the closet, throw his coat over the first chair he finds and then he's coming up the stairs.
She's watching the door way when he appears. He's smiling too as he walks toward them and leaning in, he rubs his thumb over Miyu's head and kisses the back of it. Miyu growls, annoyed that she's disturbed while feeding.
He chuckles and looks up at his wife. His smile is still there, just as real for the mother as it is for his daughter, and he leans in again to softly kiss her mouth and then her forehead.
Sakura can't resist. It's been too long since she last uttered the words.
"I love you, Naruto"
He's really looking at her now, his eyes are wide and it takes a minute before he blinks again. He`d warned her to never lie to him again.
"I love you, too" He means it.