BLAAAAAARG! BLAAAAAARG! BLAAAAAARG! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! THE CENTER OF DISEASE CONTROL, THE UNITED STATES ARMY, THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION, AND THE CENTER OF INTELLIGENCE AGENCY HAS DECLARED A NATIONWIDE STAGE 9 CATASTROPHE. UNKNOWN INVASIONS HAVE SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY. IT IS STRONGLY ADVISED TO STAY INDOORS AWAY FROM ANY DOORS OR WINDOWS AND TO TURN OFF ALL LIGHT SOURCES. LOCATE THE BOTTOM-MOST LEVEL IN YOUR HOUSE, APARTMENT, OR OFFICE BUILDING. STAY CONCEALED AND KEEP ESSENTIAL SUPPLIES WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES. IF ANY POLICE OFFICER, ARMY MAN, OR ANY OTHER GOVERNMENT AUTHORITY COMES UP TO YOUR DOOR, ANSWER HIM AND OBEY HIS INSTUCTIONS. OTHERWISE, KEEP YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS LOCKED AND KEEP HOLD OF A WEAPON. IF YOU LACK OF SUPPLIES, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BUILDING. A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL WILL EVENTUALLY COME TO ESCORT YOU FROM YOUR HOME TO THE NEAREST SAFE HAVEN. REMEMBER TO ALWAYS ABIDE BY AN AUTHORITY'S INSTUCTIONS SO THEY MAY PROVIDE YOU THE SAFEST ESCAPE ROUTE POSSIBLE…BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP!
This very same message has been blaring throughout our dang radios and TVs for three months now. Ever since Bill Cipher had come out of his dimension into ours, the world has been a living hell. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if hell was a lot more peaceful than it was here on earth. I bet Satan's already boosting up the prices for his hotel and apartment rooms just to make a living (yeah I know, quite the pun). Don't ask me how the heck I've already been alive for this long. I'm not really too sure myself. I'm assuming that half of the United States population has been wiped out just because of all the riots by newly founded gangs and all the crazy crap that Bill has been throwing at us from his own dimension. If Bill wants to take over our world, why the heck is he trying to wipe us out? The world's eventually going to end up like his own, unless if that is his intention. Would he go on to wait another one trillion years to take over some other random world? Would he go to create his own universal empire? But that really isn't the concern as of right now. I'm currently hiding in the convenience store of a dilapidated gas station in the middle of Nevada, kind of like that haunted one back in Gravity Falls except everything has fallen off the shelves, and there is a ginormous hole in the ceiling. My sister Mabel was looking down at the cereal box at her feet. I could only guess what she was thinking about. Grenda and Candy. Waddles. Our parents. And Mabel will hardly even agree to talk to me about anything. She's still upset with me about how I agreed to be Ford's apprentice, which doesn't make any sense whatsoever since there's really no point in being trained when EVERYONE now knows of what monstrosities surprisingly exist in this world. I pulled out my Glock for about the five hundredth time and observed it. Grunkle Stan handed it to me almost immediately when we decided to ditch Gravity Falls and the state of Oregon altogether. I haven't killed anyone yet. That was the duty of everyone except for Mabel and I. Grunkle Stan came back inside the shabby building, shotgun in hand.
"Ford, I don't like this. We need to move again," Stan said bluntly.
Ford looked up from a collapsed display stand. He had been looking around for anything useful. "The next town is about 20 miles from here. What makes you think we can survive another trek through here?"
Stan's car broke down while driving through California, which had been about 2 months ago. We had been travelling east on foot ever since, avoiding any cities with dangerous gangs patrolling the once peaceful streets. Of course, that wasn't easy, as we had to sometimes go into the city to restock our backpacks with food, water, first aid supplies, toilet paper, and the occasional flashlight. At one point, we were camping at a rest stop on the highway until the threat of running out of food became imminent and then being eventually chased off by a small gang of thugs. We eventually found ourselves here, at a freaking, run-down convenience store.
"I don't know, dudes," Soos butted in. "It's actually not too bad to settle down here."
"The apocalypse doesn't have any room for optimism, Soos," Stan said. "Someone or something is going to eventually find us in this dump and they're not going to play nice."
Of course, we've all heard this from Stan several times already. It was kind of starting to piss everyone off. It was like having your mom guilt trip about how she gave birth to you and she took care of you with the best of her ability. The same old crap, repeated over and over again. Like that dang PSA.
"Well, we're all going to get caught eventually. Might as well stay," Ford said.
"The heck are you being all suicidal for?" Stan questioned.
"Do you seriously think that you're going to live your life until you die of old age?" Ford objected. "The world is ending. Life is no longer allowed to be lived to the fullest. We are to die one way or another. The only way it can't be is naturally."
The two brothers started to debate. Typical. They've been fighting over the most petty of topics. If it was safe to use the bathroom at night. If Mabel and I should be walking around during the day. Even if it was too risky for one of us to pass gas while on one of our treks. I've been sick of it. Of course, there really isn't anything I can do about it so I just tend to sit back and laugh internally at the one with the most erroneous theory. Soos, on the other hand, went over to the two and tried to break them up.
"Look dudes, how about a compromise?" Soos suggested. "We stay here for another week or so and then we'll be on our way."
They looked at each other for a little bit, then they nodded in agreement. Soos definitely knew how to be useful during the apocalypse. Even though he couldn't fix the car, he often had to be the one to negotiate. However, with the world dying, negotiation started to rapidly decrease in logic. It would be a matter of time before Stan and Ford would literally be at each other's throats trying to kill each other.
Then suddenly, Mabel silently stood up and started to walk to the window. Placing her hands on the window sill and her chin in her hands, she stared at the unnatural green sunset against the bright red sky. I could see her face in the reflection of the glass. I recognized it well. Loneliness. She really didn't give a crap about her impending death. All she wanted was attention, but not from the four of us. If Wendy were with us, she could have easily coaxed Mabel out of her depression, but we have no clue about Wendy or her whereabouts. Another one of Mabel's infinite worries that don't deal with her death. The lives of her favorite boy band members seemed more important than herself.
Soos has talked to Mabel before, but it doesn't seem like his easy talking could get Mabel happy again. This was not Mabel. Something was up. Mabel provided joy to us whenever we needed it, and she would without a doubt find a way to do so in one way or another. Whether Bill himself hurt her or the creation of Bill did, I'm sure as heck going to make him pay. I'm going to do my homework and find Bill's weakness. I'm going to defeat him, gouge his eye out, and put it on display for the whole world to see. And the best part is, he won't know what hit him.
My name is Dipper Pines and I am a vigilante on a mission to destroy the one and only Bill Cipher by any means possible.