Her smile was so bright. He loved to visit her – if only to see her smile at him. But each day the smile lost its strength. "What's wrong?" He'd ask, yet she would always reply with "nothing, I am fine."
And now she lays on her death bed, losing a battle with her own body. Mother. Isn't it ironic that the thing you love cannot save you. I'd give everything to save you..
"Dorrien."
He turned to find his father standing there. He smiled, but not from his heart. Why does he do that?
"You should really get some sleep. Have you been here all night?"
"I should be here."
"She's sleeping."
"I should be here."
Rothen sighed heavily. There was no winning against his son's stubborn determination. He could see the exhaustion in his face, the dark smudges from lack of sleep; and most of all he had stopped smiling.
"Dorrien, please. She wouldn't want you to-"
"This is what I want." He snapped back. His eyes flashed with undirected anger. "I can't just... Sleep, when she is here wasting away. There must be something..."
"The Healer's have tried everything. Even if we had known about it sooner-"
"You don't know that. You should have noticed. But you didn't, not until it was too late." Dorrien accused him. Standing he hastily excited the room, ignoring Rothen's pleas.
Tears fall freely from my eyes. I don't care. Why does she have to die? I can't bear to lose her..
Long sleepless night pass like a blur. I barely notice the changes around me. I can't bear to be near my father, so I have avoided him. My mother stays awake less and less now, each day her face grows duller and the sparkle in her eyes diminishes. Her time is near, yet I can't face it. I don't want to lose you, Mother. But deep inside I know that today is the day. The final farewell.
For the first time in a while, she is awake when I enter. As she sees me I can see the conflict in her eyes. Love. Guilt. Pain. Sorrow. My father is there cradling her frail body. Her tiny wasted hands rest softly within his hand. He strokes her hair softly, trying so hard not to cry, and yet he still cries.
"Dorrien." She manages to whisper out. As I reach her bedside I see unshed tears. She knows this is the last time she will see me. I too cry again, I can't believe this is the end.. So I climb in her bed and cuddle her. I don't want to let go. Can't I just stay here? Warm. Loved. Not alone.
"It is time." She says, yet the words pass by me. It can't be true. I look up at her and see the pain in her. She does not want to die, she does not want to leave, but she has to.
"I love both of you very much. Never forget that."
"They have taken her into the forest." My father says softly. He has stopped crying now. How can he just stand there not knowing whether she has died yet. Knowing that precious minutes are being wasted. But I won't. I can't. So I run to her. I know where she wants to die. My father tries to stop me, but he can't. Part of him wants to follow me, and it has won. So together we go to the forest. I'm coming, Mother. I cannot let you die alone. The forest opens up into a clearing, it is the most beautiful place I have seen, but this time I do not stand around looking.
"It's too late." My father sighs. "She is dead." Pain washes over me a second time, and a slump to the floor. My father holds me, embraces me like he always used to. It wasn't his fault. I shouldn't have blamed him. "I'm sorry I blamed you." I manage to say between sobs. He just holds me closer and we cry together. Exhausted, and also relieved. Yes, I am relieved. She is not in pain now. She is free. Looking up, I smile. The world around me looks beautiful again.