A/N: Here's Rachel reacting differently to finding out about Finn and the whole losing-his-virginity-to-Santana thing. I hope you like it! Oh, and I do not own Glee or any of the characters!
CRUSHED
She couldn't even look at him anymore. So, after that meeting in Miss Pillsbury's office, Rachel left school. She honestly didn't care that it was still the middle of the day and she had important classes that needed attending. She didn't care that Finn yelled for her to "Come back" after she went running down the hallway toward her locker. She had just grabbed her purse with her car keys and ran to the parking lot.
The only thing she cared about was that Finn, her Finn, had slept with Santana. Santana of all people! But that wasn't the kicker… he didn't tell her about it! And here Rachel thought stupidly that they would share their first time together and that it would be a learning experience for the both of them. They would proclaim their love as they gave their virginities to one another. But now that couldn't happen because Santana had already taken his from him.
True, they weren't together at the time, but Rachel wanted to share that experience with Finn for the first time. She knew it was going to be awkward and that it was really going to hurt, but she knew that they would help each other out… But now they can't. Because he's already slept with someone. And that someone probably has diseases or something.
But that wasn't the only reason that Rachel was upset. If she was being honest with herself, she would know that it was a big hit to the ego that Finn would sleep with someone like Santana. Sure, Santana basically made Rachel's life a living hell, but she was also gorgeous. Extremely gorgeous. And Rachel… well, she wasn't. If Finn slept with Santana, sleeping with Rachel would just be a letdown. And Rachel didn't want to be a letdown.
She was so hurt as she drove through the streets of Lima. To be honest, she didn't really pay attention to the traffic laws as flashes of Finn with Santana crept into her mind.
Finn was holding Santana, moaning her name.
Santana was kissing him hungrily, like he belonged to her.
Afterward, they lay together, overwhelmed by one another.
Thoughts like that made Rachel want to throw up. And they also made her burn with jealousy. It wouldn't be so bad if she knew that Finn wasn't still attracted to Santana, but she didn't know that. Just weeks ago, Santana and Brittany had insulted the way she looked and Finn just stood there and laughed. If he really thought she was beautiful, he would have defended her. And he also just called her "super hot" just mere minutes ago!
And then there was last year where he dumped her to go out with Santana and Brittany. Sure, he said afterwards that he wanted to be with her again, but he had still been attracted to the two of them.
Rachel wasn't naïve. She knew that there were better looking girls out there. She had wanted to be those girls. But when Finn had finally chosen her, she felt like she beat them all. She got the amazing guy who said he loved her.
But learning about Santana and Finn had made her question how much Finn wanted her. Would he ever want her? Would he ever stand up for her? Did he really want to be with her, or was she actually the second choice?
A horn blaring brought Rachel back to the present. She slowed down a little and realized that she didn't know where she was. She looked at the dashboard and realized that she had been driving for two hours. Everyone would be in Glee now. Finn would be sitting there, in close proximity to Santana, the girl who ruined everything.
Well, she couldn't really blame Santana. Finn and Rachel weren't dating, but Santana didn't have to tell her about it. Rachel would almost rather that she was blissfully unaware of Finn's previous sexual encounters. The hardest thing to swallow was that Finn didn't tell her about it. She came clean about Jesse and they both vowed to be honest from that point on.
Finn lied. He wasn't being honest. He was hiding something from her. Something important.
Instead of turning around and trying to find her way back, Rachel just kept driving. When she came to a point where she had to choose a direction to turn, she mentally flipped a coin and just went randomly. She didn't want to go home; well, for one, her fathers weren't there, so no one could comfort her. Secondly, she knew that Finn would show up and try to apologize. Or even yell at her for acting so dramatic. For now, Rachel couldn't put up with that. She just needed time to organize her thoughts and be alone.
She knew that she still loved Finn desperately, so she wouldn't break up with him, but she wasn't sure that she could trust him so easily anymore. And she wasn't sure that her self-confidence could handle such a blow.
Yes, she was Rachel Berry, but that wasn't always such a great thing.
-glee-glee-glee-
Finn drove around after a rather awkward Glee club meeting. He sat there, glaring at Santana the entire time, blaming her for Rachel's storm off.
He was also blaming himself for not telling her a long time ago. She was honest about Jesse during the summer. They had now been dating for months and he still didn't tell her. He knew why she was mad. He promised her that they wouldn't keep any secrets from each other and he continued to keep one. He knew that this would crush Rachel. She had been talking about how special their first time would be when she was finally ready. He was also close to persuading her that waiting until you're 25 to have sex is slightly ridiculous.
But when they finally slept together, it wouldn't be his first time. While he wholeheartedly regretted sleeping with Santana, he couldn't just take his virginity back. Sure, the entire time he wished Santana was Rachel. He was pretty sure he even said Rachel's name once or twice.
Santana didn't even care, which kind of grossed him out. He wasn't joking when he told Santana that it didn't mean anything when it was over. He was expecting her to freak out and be hurt, but she didn't care about that, either. It was then that Finn realized that he made a mistake that he could never fix.
He made another one by not telling Rachel. And he didn't know how long it would take them to be okay again after this. Hell, were they even still together? They hadn't really had this big of a fight before (if you could call a storm off a fight). He was pretty sure that he had never hurt Rachel this badly.
But he wanted to fix it. Because he loved her more than anything.
Sure, he wasn't the best at showing it all the time, but it really was true. If Rachel knew how much he cared about her, and only her, he was sure that she wouldn't have freaked out this bad. But since he wasn't the best with words and he didn't stand up for her all the time, he was pretty sure that she didn't know how he felt.
And he was to blame for being such a shitty boyfriend, too.
Finn drove straight to Rachel's house, fully intending on begging and pleading and doing whatever else he had to do to gain her trust back.
But she wasn't there.
Which was totally weird since she left school hours ago.
But since Finn knew Rachel so well, he didn't freak out. He knew the place she would probably go was the music store that wasn't far from school. The two of them could literally spend hours in there, arguing about the biggest contributors to music. Rachel had always won the arguments because Finn would usually give up after a while. She was way more stubborn and competitive than he was. And they would usually make up right after and head out to his truck for an intense make-out session.
To say Finn was totally surprised that Rachel wasn't at the music store was a huge understatement. His brows knit in confusion as he tried to think of her other favorite places.
He then drove by the tiny public library, but her car was nowhere to be seen. He even drove back to school to see if she went there afterwards to sing in the auditorium, but the school parking lot was eerily empty. He even stopped at the grocery store and went inside to see if she was buying some of her favorite vegan snacks.
After walking around for twenty minutes, he finally determined that she wasn't there. Not wanting to waste a trip to the store, Finn grabbed a Gatorade and some beef jerky before going back out to his truck.
Aside from Finn, the only other people that actually liked Rachel seemed to be Kurt and Mercedes. So, Finn pulled out his phone to see if Rachel was with them.
"Hello?" a high pitched voice said.
"Kurt? It's Finn," Finn said into the phone.
"I am capable of reading caller ID, thanks," Kurt said.
"Right… So I was wondering if you've seen Rachel around," Finn said.
"I haven't seen her all day," Kurt said. "She hasn't returned any of my messages, either. I wanted to see if she wanted to go shopping with Mercedes and I."
"So she's not with Mercedes either?" Finn asked, sounding disappointed.
"No," Kurt said. "Have you checked the music store?" Kurt asked.
"That was my first stop. She's not there, not at home, not at the library, or even the grocery store," Finn huffed.
"That's strange," Kurt said. "Rachel's a fairly predictable person…"
"I know," Finn said.
"She is really upset though after what you did to her-"
"I know I was an idiot, Kurt!" Finn practically yelled into the phone. After a moment, he regretted raising his voice. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I'm just worried about her."
"Apology accepted," Kurt said. "I suggest just going home and waiting until later to head over to her house. She can't stay gone forever."
"I'll just go there and wait. I've got some homework anyway," Finn said.
"Whatever you want to do is fine… Just keep me updated, okay? Tell me when you find her. It's really weird that she's not at any of her usual places," Kurt said, sounding bothered.
"I'll let you know," Finn said. "Thanks for actually caring about her."
"She might be an annoying diva, but she's our annoying diva," Kurt said. "Just don't worry, Finn. I know how much she loves you."
"Thanks. I'll call you later," Finn said.
"Bye, Finn," Kurt said.
Finn stuffed the rest of his beef jerky into his mouth (and choked a little) before chugging some Gatorade and starting his truck and heading back toward Rachel's.
Finn sat in his truck outside of Rachel's house for what felt like a long time. When he finished what he considered to be tons of homework, the sun was starting to set, and Rachel still hadn't come home. He looked at the clock on his dashboard and realizing that it was almost seven. It really wasn't like Rachel to not come home. Her dinnertime was an hour ago and Rachel was a stickler for plans.
Finn decided to check the places she liked to go once more before totally freaking out. But he still couldn't squash the bad feeling he felt in his gut.
-glee-glee-glee-
Rachel was pretty sure that she was getting closer to town. She was starting to recognize some common landmarks. She was still surrounded by trees and wilderness, so she knew that it would still take a while to get back home. But she didn't want to go home. Not quite yet.
As she drove, she felt like she was in a very familiar place. Rachel looked around and realized that she was on the road that led to the lake. Her and Finn's lake. The lake that they spent practically all summer at. The same lake where Glee club had numerous grill outs and actually enjoyed one another's company. The same lake where Rachel and Finn had surprised everyone by winning the chicken tournament before they all had a bonfire at twilight.
Rachel couldn't stop the sobs that overtook her body. She missed that time when her and Finn were in this completely and totally blissful bubble that hadn't been tainted by secrets. Rachel sped up considerably, needing to get out of there as quickly as possible. This was all too much to handle right now.
Rachel continued sobbing and her tears were clouding her vision. She tried to frantically blink them away before her nose started running. She hadn't cried this hard in so long. Rachel remembered the tissues in the center console. She glanced down and reached for the button that would open the compartment where her tissues were held.
She pushed on the button, but the lid didn't pop open. She pushed it a little harder, still sobbing, and getting very annoyed at the little piece of plastic.
Rachel looked down and glared at the thing with tear-filled eyes.
"You stupid, piece of cr-"
Her sentence went left unfinished as Rachel looked up and let out a strangled scream. That was all she could do before her car went barreling into a large oak tree at forty miles an hour.
The impact was deafening as the car wrapped around the tree.
Rachel Berry lay inside, unmoving.
-glee-glee-glee-
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Finn cursed as he turned back onto Rachel's street and saw that her driveway was still empty.
He had spent the last hour driving around Lima, looking for Rachel. He stopped each of her favorite places at least twice, stopping at the music store three times before turning back toward her house. It was eight o'clock, and Rachel Berry was nowhere to be found. Finn had officially started panicking. He pulled out his phone again and called Kurt, praying that Rachel had called him back by now.
"Hello, Finn," Kurt said. "I'm guessing you found-"
"I can't find her anywhere, Kurt!" Finn said desperately into the phone. "I sat here for hours and finished all of my homework for, like, the next two weeks and she still didn't show. So I went driving around again and kept calling her. I can't find her and it says her phone is out of service!"
"Okay, Finn, you just need to calm down," Kurt said soothingly. "We will find her. Maybe she just went a little further out of town."
"She eats dinner at six, Kurt. On the dot. Rachel's never late for anything," Finn said worriedly.
"Maybe she grabbed something to eat somewhere, Finn. We don't need to panic," Kurt said. "And you said that her phone was out of service. Maybe she's just someplace where there's not great reception. There are so many places she could be and she's probably just fine."
"I just… I have this bad feeling, Kurt," Finn said. "I can't explain it. I just know something's wrong."
"Well I hope you're wrong, but let's not freak out if there's a possibility that there's nothing to freak out about," Kurt said. Finn took a deep breath.
"Okay. I'll try not to," Finn said.
"Good. Now, I just dropped Mercedes off at home. I'll come over to Rachel's and we'll drive around looking for her, okay? You can call some other people if you want, but we'll find her, Finn," Kurt said. Kurt's words were really soothing, but Finn's gut was still telling him that something was off.
"Okay. I'll see you in a few," Finn said, hanging up the phone. He then dialed the number of the person that he knew would still have his back.
"Talk to me," the voice said.
"Puck. I need your help," Finn said, sounding desperate.
"This doesn't sound good," Puck said. "What's up?"
"Rachel's missing. I've drove around looking for her everywhere and I can't find her. I sat outside her house for hours, just waiting for her, and she still hasn't showed. Me and Kurt are gonna drive around some more and look for her," Finn explained.
Puck was quiet for a moment. "Are you still at Rachel's?" he asked.
"Yeah," Finn said.
"I'll be there in a few," Puck said.
"Thanks," Finn said with a small smile.
"Don't mention it," Puck said before hanging up the phone.
So, Finn just sat there, waiting for Kurt and Puck to show up. He had been waiting to see Rachel for five hours, so a couple more minutes wouldn't kill him…
-glee-glee-glee-
Puck got there before Kurt. They both stood outside, in front of Finn's truck and Finn told him about all the places he had already checked.
"Damn. Berry did a Houdini," Puck said.
"I know. I'm really hoping she's just sitting somewhere but I honestly don't have a good feeling about this," Finn said.
Puck clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll find her, dude. Lima's not that big," Puck said.
"It's obviously big enough if I've been looking for hours and still can't find her," Finn complained.
They both looked up as they heard another car coming down the street. Finn felt a little deflated when he saw that it was Kurt and not Rachel. Kurt pulled up behind Finn's truck and joined them in front of Finn's truck.
"I called practically everyone in glee on the way here and no one has seen her or talked to her. I even called Mr. Schuester," Kurt said.
Finn let out a deep breath as he ran a hand through his messy hair.
"This is all my fault! Something bad could have happened to her 'cause I totally freaking screwed up!" Finn yelled at himself in frustration.
"Dude, chill. We don't know that anything's wrong yet. Knowing Berry, she's probably somewhere singing about how sad she is or something," Puck said.
"You're probably right," Kurt agreed quickly. "We'll split up and check all the places with karaoke. You know she never turns down a chance for a performance. And I happen to know that all of her favorite songs are the ones that make her cry."
"And some of them are pretty far out of town, so that could be why her phone's not working," Puck offered enthusiastically.
"See, Finn?" Kurt said with a small smile. "She's probably fine."
"I hope you're right," Finn muttered.
Finn had already checked two places where he knew they had karaoke. Rachel's new silver car was nowhere to be seen. He even called Puck, who checked at the roller rink and she wasn't there either. Right after hanging up with Puck, Kurt called to say that he hadn't found her, either.
Finn told Kurt to meet him and Puck at the ice cream place right outside of town to figure out what to do next. It was already after nine and Lima had been dark for a while. As Finn sat in his truck outside of the ice cream place, he called Rachel's house a few times, just hoping that she had finally come home. He was both sad and comforted to hear her voice on the answering machine. He was really hoping to hear in person, not on a recording. But hearing her voice was soothing just the same.
Puck got there first and pulled up next to Finn's car. He got in Finn's passenger seat and they started brainstorming as to where to look first. While waiting for Kurt, Finn's phone rang. He got excited, thinking it might be Rachel. He frowned when he realized it was his mom calling.
He and Kurt totally forgot to tell her what they were up to, so Finn had to explain what was going on. He told her everything.
"Do you want us to come help look for her?" Carole asked her son, sounding extremely worried.
"Me, Puck, and Kurt are on it, mom," Finn said. "We're just trying to figure out where to look next."
"Just keep me updated, sweetie. We all care about Rachel. And if you need us to come help and find her, call. Just don't stay out too late," Carole said, like she always did.
"Mom, I'm not coming home until I know she's safe," Finn said firmly.
Carole was quiet for a second. "I knew you would say that, sweetie. Take as long as you need. I know how much you love her. Just don't leave me here not knowing what's going on," Carole said.
"I won't. I'll call you again soon," Finn said.
"Okay. Love you," Carole said.
"Love you, too," Finn said before hanging up.
Finn looked up just in time to see Kurt pulling in to the parking lot. He climbed out of his car and stood outside, right next to Finn's side of the car.
"Any ideas yet?" Kurt asked.
"I got nothing," Puck said from Finn's passenger seat.
"Me neither," Finn said, sounding defeated.
"Well, I asked Tina and Mike to drive by Rachel's to see if she had shown yet and she's still not there," Kurt said, sounding like he was getting more and more worried. "What we need to do, though, is focus. What are other places that Rachel has been to before that she might be attached to?"
"The mall?" Puck answered after a moment's thought.
Kurt quickly shook his head. "You're confusing me with Rachel. She doesn't go to the mall when she's upset," Kurt explained.
Finn quickly ran through all the places him and Rachel had been together. Breadstix, the movies, the park, the music store, the library (he played Solitaire on the computer the entire time)… These were all places that they had already looked. Then, it hit him.
"The lake!" he said like he just had an epiphany. "We spent practically the whole summer there. Rachel loved it."
"I never thought I would say this, but you're a damn genius," Puck said happily from the passenger's seat.
"Well, there's not much sense going the same place in three cars, so just get in mine. I just filled it up with gas anyway," Kurt said. Finn and Puck both nodded before climbing out of the car. They made sure their cars were locked before getting into Kurt's.
No one spoke the entire way there. Finn didn't know what the others were thinking, but he sat there praying to whoever would listen (he even tried praying to Rachel's God just in case hers was a different one). He prayed so hard that they would find her and that she would be okay.
Finn and the others got all antsy as they started down the road toward the lake. Kurt was driving slow and they kept their eyes peeled since it was so freaking dark outside. They passed where they had parked their cars last time, but no one was there.
"Maybe she's not here," Kurt said worriedly.
"Just keep going," Finn said. He had a feeling that they were close. He couldn't explain it, but he just knew. They turned a bend in the road that had large trees on either side. During the day, this place looked awesome and pretty, but at night it was just scary.
Finn noticed something flash red as they turned the corner.
"What was that?" he asked, squinting. Kurt drove a little faster out of anticipation. Then, all three of their stomachs dropped when they realized what that flash was. Kurt's headlights reflecting off of a car's taillights. The car was silver and looked just like Rachel's… except for there was no way that Rachel's car could have been wrapped around a tree.
Finn heard Puck cuss from the backseat just as Kurt let out a choking sound.
"Oh my God, oh my God," Kurt kept chanting over and over while sounding like he was sobbing. Finn just stared blankly ahead. His brain had completely stopped working. He couldn't even remember how to breathe.
"There's been an accident," Kurt said moments later. The sound of his voice brought Finn back from oblivion. Finn looked over and saw that Kurt had his cell phone out and to his ear. Before Kurt could even park the car, Finn undid his seatbelt and jumped out.
"Rachel!" Finn yelled as he ran toward the piece of metal that used to be a car. "Rachel, baby!" He heard a heavy set of footsteps right behind his and he knew that Puck was right behind him. Finn ran toward what was the driver's side of the car. And then felt like getting sick.
Rachel, his Rachel, was leaning on the steering wheel with a mixture of dried and fresh blood covering her face. Her face and arms were already covered in bruises. Those legs that he loved so much seemed to be pinned underneath the folded up steering column. She was also freakishly pale. That warm olive skin that was so soft and smooth had lost most of its color. She looked dead.
Finn dropped to his knees as the sobs tore through him. He had never been in more pain in his life. He dropped his head into his hands. "Oh God! Rachel! No! Oh my God!" he said these words repeatedly in no particular order. It seemed like he was incapable of doing anything else. He felt like ripping his hair out and screaming at the world, but he couldn't even do that. He continued to sob as he looked back up at his girl.
The guilt was going to suffocate him. He noticed someone standing to the side of him. He looked up and saw that it was Puck. Puck also had tears streaming down his face, but he didn't look like he felt guilty. But that was because he had no reason to feel guilty. Finn was the one that killed Rachel.
After a few tense seconds, Puck stepped forward toward Rachel.
"What are you doing?" Finn asked in a strangled voice. Puck didn't answer. He just took a deep breath and reached inside the car. Finn watched with bleary eyes as Puck reached for her neck and held two fingers there for a few moments.
"She… She's alive!" Puck choked out. Finn's jaw dropped and he shakily stood back up just as Puck backed away from the car. Finn reached a hand inside the driver's side window and cupped Rachel's face softly, like he would break her. Well, he already felt like he did.
"Rach, it's Finn. Baby, can you hear me?" he asked as loudly and clearly as he could, waiting for a response. "Baby, please just open your eyes for me," Finn begged. A few more seconds he waited for something, anything to show that she heard him. Rachel just lay there.
"Are you sure she's alive?" Finn asked with another sob and more tears falling.
"I felt a pulse. It was pretty damn strong," Puck said.
Finn smiled a little. "She's the strongest person I know," he said.
"The ambulance is on the way," Kurt's soprano voice called out to them. Finn turned his head in the direction of Kurt and saw him walking toward them.
"Don't let him see her like this," Finn said to Puck quietly. Puck nodded, and without even wiping the tears out of his eyes, turned to Kurt.
"Just stay back, Kurt," Puck said, stepping toward him.
"Why? She's okay, isn't she?" Kurt asked. Puck didn't say anything, but the look on his face said it all. Kurt got a fierce look of determination and started walking toward Rachel's car. "Let me see her," he said in as tough of a voice as he could muster.
Puck surged forward and grabbed Kurt by the shoulders, not letting him move. "Kurt, no. It's bad. You don't need to see her like this," Puck said.
Kurt tried to pull out of Puck's grasp. "Just let me see her," Kurt said. Tears had starting falling down Kurt's face, too. "Damn it! I want to see her!" Kurt yelled. Kurt then fell into Puck's arms and started sobbing.
Not even feeling weird about it, Puck hugged Kurt as he cried into his shoulder. What felt like hours later, Kurt stood up straight and wiped his eyes.
"I'm gonna call Mr. Schu and the rest of Glee club and tell them what happened," Kurt said, trying to sound in control of himself again.
Puck nodded. "Her pulse was strong, Kurt. And she's freaking Rachel Berry. She'll pull out of this," Puck said, trying to sound comforting. Kurt just nodded as more tears fell before walking back toward his car.
Puck turned and saw that Finn had his cell phone out. He brought it to his ear and waited as it rang.
"Hello?" his mom's voice said.
"Mom, we found her," Finn said in as clear of a voice as he could.
"Where was she?" Carole asked. Finn's composure broke and he sobbed again.
"By the lake," he said in a sob.
"Sweetheart, what happened?" Carole said in a guarded voice.
"Rachel's car hit a tree mom," Finn sobbed. "It's really bad. I thought she was…" he had to break off to breathe. "I thought she was dead!" he cried into the phone.
"Oh, honey," Carole cried.
"And it's all my fault! I lied to her and made her upset and then this happened!" Finn sobbed.
"Baby, it's not your fault!" Carole cried. "Things happen, okay? I'm sure she won't blame you!" Finn didn't answer, he just cried. "Is the ambulance there yet?" she asked.
"We're waiting for it," Finn said in a quiet voice. "Puck said she has a pulse but she won't wake up and we don't even know how long she's been sitting here, mom. I'm scared," Finn said in such a quiet voice.
"Oh, sweetie I know! Just wait there with her. You need to be strong for her, okay? Me and Burt will go to the hospital and we'll see you there, okay?" Carole said, trying to sound like a soothing mother instead of a scared one.
Finn took a deep breath and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. "Yeah, mom," Finn said. "I love you."
"I love you too, sweetie. And please just stay strong for her," Carole said.
"I'll try," Finn said. He listened as Carole hung up. Finn turned and saw that Puck was on his phone, too. And he was crying as well. Finn knew that Kurt was crying in the car.
Finn was in so much pain, but his mom was right. He needed to stay strong for Rachel. But he knew that this entire thing was his fault.
Finn stayed close to Rachel and talked to her while waiting for the ambulance.
"You're so strong, babe. I'm so proud of you."
"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."
"Can you just open your eyes for me? Or just move a little, babe. Please?"
"Just hang on and you'll be fine, okay?"
"You can't leave me, Rach. I don't know what I'd do without you."
He said this last thing as the ambulance was pulling up quickly with its lights and sirens on. "Rach, I love you so much. I'm so sorry."
-glee-glee-glee-
Finn, Kurt, and Puck watched as the ambulance, fire truck, and three cop cars all pulled in by Rachel's car. Finn wanted to help. He needed to do something to make sure she was okay. The entire time, the tears didn't stop.
He felt like kicking the asses of the firemen and the paramedics when they pried her out of the car. It looked like they were hurting her! But Rachel didn't scream out in pain. She didn't move or say anything the entire time. He would have rather had Rachel awake and freaking out all dramatically instead of being so quiet. She was so quiet that it scared all of them.
They laid her limp body on the gurney before putting on a cervical collar and strapping her in. Finn looked to Puck and Kurt.
"Go with her, Finn. We'll meet you there," Puck said while wiping his eyes. Finn wiped away his own tears before jogging over to the paramedics.
"I'm her boyfriend. I'm coming with her," he said forcefully to them as they loaded her into the ambulance.
One of the male paramedics looked at him sympathetically. "Climb in, kid," he said kindly. Finn smiled a little before climbing in and sitting on the bench next to Rachel. He looked at her as they sat there. She really was covered in bruises. Her right leg looked a little funny, almost like it was broken. Her other one was cut up pretty badly from being pinned in the car. She had a cut on her head that seemed to still be bleeding. After the ambulance took off, Finn watched as the paramedic wrapped her head and wiped some of the cuts clean. He hooked her up to machines too and checked her breathing.
Finn noticed that the man looked a little worried as he held the stethoscope to her chest.
"What is it?" Finn asked.
"There's some raspiness that doesn't sound right. She'll need some scans to make sure her lungs are okay," the paramedic said methodically.
Finn swallowed hard. "But she'll be okay, right?"
The paramedic paused for a moment. "I can't make any promises, but she's hung on this long. Anything's possible," he said with a small smile. "We're lucky you found her."
Finn nodded, but didn't smile. He just stared at Rachel's face, knowing that she must have been in so much pain. And not just physically.
The guilt was literally eating away at him. If he had never slept with Santana, none of this would have happened. Him and Rachel would be sitting on her couch right now. She would totally make him watch Funny Girl and he would probably complain but watch it anyway. Just for her.
He just loved her so freaking much that seeing her like this was literally killing him. And he was so worried about her. He vowed to her right now that he wouldn't leave her side until she was better. He couldn't even let himself think that she won't get better. There was no life without Rachel Berry, so she had to get better.
They pulled into the hospital minutes later. Finn watched as they unloaded Rachel. He climbed down and jogged behind them. Some doctors and nurses were already waiting. One of the male nurses held Finn back and told him that he couldn't follow Rachel in for her tests and things. Finn's shoulders dropped in defeat but he nodded.
"When she wakes up, tell her that Finn's here and he loves her," Finn said desperately.
The male nurse smiled a little and nodded before giving Finn directions to the waiting room. The nurse also promised that he would find Finn as soon as he could and tell him what was going on.
Before Finn could go to the waiting room, Kurt and Puck jogged into the hospital.
"What's going on?" Kurt asked worriedly.
"They're taking her back for some tests and stuff. The paramedic said there was some raspiness in her lungs. One of her legs is probably broken or something and I don't know what else," Finn said sadly.
"Do they think she'll pull through?" Puck asked.
"The paramedic said he couldn't promise me anything, but she held on this long so anything could happen," Finn said.
"You two go to the waiting room. I'll wait for your mom and the glee club and everyone to get here," Puck said.
Finn looked at him gratefully. "Thanks, Puck," he said firmly.
"Don't mention it," Puck said with a small smile.
Kurt and Finn went to the waiting room, which was empty. Finn sat closest to the entrance, so that he would be the first to see if any doctors or nurses were coming to tell them what happened.
Kurt sat across from Finn and looked at him sympathetically.
"Are you still blaming yourself?" Kurt asked quietly.
"Kind of hard not to," Finn said gruffly.
"As far as I'm concerned, you saved her," Kurt said.
"She wouldn't be in the hospital in the first place if it wasn't for me being an idiot," Finn said.
"Finn…" Kurt started.
"Don't try and make me feel better," Finn snapped. "I'm a shitty boyfriend and I know that. I slept with someone I didn't care about and didn't tell the girl I love about it. I just sit there when someone insults her and I only listen to her half of the damn time. So don't try and act like I'm some hero. I don't deserve it."
Kurt was quiet for a moment. "No one's perfect, Finn. But I know that you love her. And she knows that, too. That's all that matters," Kurt insisted.
Finn took a deep breath, totally not in the mood for an argument right now. So, he sat there, absorbed in his own thoughts.
Minutes later, his mom walked in the waiting room with Burt right behind her. She looked slightly panicked and yet concerned.
Finn jumped up and hugged his mom firmly. "Have you heard anything yet, sweetie?" Carole asked after she and Burt had hugged the both of them.
"Not yet. It'll probably take a while. They were talking in the ambulance about all the tests she had to have done and it sounded like a lot," Finn said.
"Do you know how long she had been sitting there?" Burt asked.
Finn opened his mouth but couldn't answer.
"She'd been missing since before school was over. Who knows how long it was…" Kurt said.
"That girl's a fighter," Burt said admirably.
Finn smiled a little. "I'd call her stubborn," he suggested.
"Rachel Berry doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do," Kurt said. "If she wants to stick around, you can't get rid of her."
Finn chuckled a little, knowing Kurt was right.
-glee-glee-glee-
An hour later, everyone was there except for Santana. Finn hoped that she didn't blame herself. This was all Finn's fault. But he really didn't want to see her anyway. He couldn't really explain why though.
Kurt and Mercedes both sat there in a daze with tears in their eyes the entire time. Everyone else looked very sad and worried. Carole and Burt tried to keep everyone feeling positive, but it was hard. Mike and Puck went to get everyone some snacks and some crappy hospital coffee just to waste some time. Mr. Schu paced in the waiting room, unable to stay still.
Finn couldn't get the image of Rachel out of his mind. Whether his eyes were open or closed, he still saw her lying in the car. He could clearly remember the moment when he thought she was dead. He felt like he would die, too. Finn also wished that he was the one whose car was crushed and not hers. He deserved it for being such a terrible person. She didn't deserve it.
Hours later, Finn saw the male nurse from before come into the room. "Are you all here for Rachel Berry?" he asked, his eyes going wide at the sight of almost twenty people sitting in the waiting room.
"Yes," they all said in unison. Finn would have thought it was pretty funny if he wasn't quite so worried out of his mind.
"Well, she finished with testing. Her right leg is broken. We had to drain one of her lungs, but that should heal up pretty satisfactorily. What we are really worried about it the head injury. She seems to have fractured her skull and there is a little bit of brain swelling. We need to give it some time and see if it heals on its own," the nurse said.
"When will she wake up?" Carole asked.
"That depends. She has a concussion as well, so she could wake up in a couple of minutes or it could take days or possibly weeks. It's a very serious injury and it will take time until she's better," the nurse said.
"But she will be better eventually, right?" Finn asked uneasily.
"Let's just say I don't think there's a reason to fear the worst. But anything could happen," the nurse said. "Just know that she's putting up a fight. From the dried blood and the bruising, she'd probably been sitting there for at least a couple of hours and she held on, so I wouldn't lose hope."
Finn nodded and the others felt their spirits lift just a little.
Around two in the morning, most of the glee club had already headed home after making Kurt promise that he would send out a mass text if he heard anything. Finn told his mom that he wasn't leaving until Rachel was being discharged. She understood why he wanted to stay, but she made him promise that he would go to school at least but that he could sleep at the hospital every night.
With most of the glee club gone, the waiting room was kind of empty. Mr. Schu, Puck, Kurt, Burt, Carole, and Finn were the only ones left. The male nurse had been in a couple more times to update them on Rachel's condition. He promised Finn that he could go into her room soon and Finn was waiting anxiously.
Finn had given his mother both of Rachel's dads numbers so that she could try and get a hold of them.
"How often are they out of town?" Burt asked curiously.
"Practically all the time," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "Rachel lives by herself more often than not."
"I think that's terrible," Carole said, hanging up the phone again. "That poor girl hasn't had a mother and her fathers are barely there for her. And now she's in the hospital and no one can get a hold of them." Finn could tell that his mother was mad at Rachel's dads. Hell, he was mad, too. Rachel's dads were barely ever home. Granted, sometimes it was pretty cool 'cause they could totally make out and stuff, but Rachel got scared sometimes during storms.
Finn could remember this one time when a tornado touched down in Lima. Rachel called him, totally freaking out. He tried to leave and go to Rachel's, but his mom wouldn't let him leave the basement. After the tornado dissipated, Finn had spent hours with a frightened Rachel that night. And when she got straight As on her report card or got another solo in glee, she tried to call her dads and tell them about it, but she rarely ever talked to them.
Because of this, Carole had started hanging Rachel's report card on their fridge, which Finn thought was pretty awesome. Finn's hung right next to hers 'cause she was a totally awesome tutor and his grades were improving. And Carole also went to all of Finn and Rachel's performances (even Rachel's ballet recitals). Finn was pretty sure that his mom loved Rachel almost as much as he did.
"You know, that's probably why Rachel's such an overachiever," Kurt said. "She might feel like she has to earn their attention and affection."
"Well, it's not working," Finn said stiffly. "I don't think they deserve her." Well, I don't either, he thought to himself.
As the nurse promised, they were told where Rachel's room was about half an hour later. Finn was the quickest walking down the hallway and was the first through the door to her room. He took a deep breath before walking inside.
He walked over to the side of her bed and looked down at her. She looked so broken. There were bruises all over her and her head was wrapped in gauze. She had one of those breathing things up her nose. Finn could tell that she had a cast on her broken leg, which was a big lump under the blankets. They cleaned her up pretty well though. He couldn't see any more blood in her hair and she looked almost peaceful while she laid there.
Finn heard loud sniffles and turned to see both his mom and Kurt with tears falling down their face.
"She just looks so tiny and hurt," his mom said. "Poor thing." Puck and Burt just stood there, looking down at Rachel, who now resembled a fragile little girl. Finn didn't like this new look. His Rachel was strong and intimidating. Sure, she was tiny, but she had enough personality to make up for three people. Seeing her like this made his chest ache.
Finn took the seat next to Rachel's bed. It was a recliner, so he knew he would be pretty comfortable sleeping in it for the next however many days he would have to sit vigil at her bedside. He then slowly and carefully grabbed her hand, not wanting to hurt her anymore than he already had. Her hand was so cold and Finn hoped that his large hand would warm her tiny one.
"You guys can go home and get some sleep," Finn said to everyone. "I swear I will let you all know everything as soon as it happens."
Finn looked up at his mom and saw her nod her head with a small smile. "I'm off work tomorrow. I'll bring you some clothes and your toothbrush and other things you'll need," Carole said.
Finn smiled a little at her. "Thanks, mom." Carole stepped forward and reached down to kiss Finn on the cheek. Finn then watched as she walked to the other side of Rachel's bed and kissed her on the forehead.
"We all love you, sweetheart," he heard his mom whisper. This brought tears to Finn's eyes.
Finn was surprised to see Kurt step forward and kiss Rachel on the cheek. "See you soon, munchkin," he said with a small smile. Finn hadn't known that they were that close of friends, but it was nice.
Burt shook Finn's hand before leading Carole out of the room.
"You take care of her or I'll kick your ass, Hudson," Puck warned.
"I will," Finn vowed.
"Me and Kurt will bring your truck here tomorrow," Puck said.
"Thanks, man," Finn said with a small smile.
"No problem," Puck said. "And I heard Mercedes and Tina talking about buying tons of balloons and stuff for Berry so get ready for all that shit to be piled in here."
Finn smiled a bit wider. "I will," he said.
"See you tomorrow, Finn," Kurt said.
"Yeah. See you tomorrow," Finn said. Kurt and Puck both left the room, closing the door behind them.
Finn turned the television on in the room but kept it on low. "You love this show, Rach," Finn said, pointing at the TV, which was playing American Idol. "Well, you love pointing out when people miss a note or something. Plus I think these are reruns…"
Finn continued holding Rachel's hand while he watched the episode. When he started yawning, he reclined the chair back as far as it would go. He was surprisingly comfortable. And he was glad his arm was long enough to still hold Rachel's hand firmly in his own.
"Rach… I'm right here, baby. I love you and I'm not going anywhere," he said clearly right before he fell asleep.
-glee-glee-glee-
Rachel heard this strange beeping noise that was growing slightly more annoying as time went on. She also had an intense headache that made her want to fall back asleep, but she had the feeling that she'd been sleeping for a very long time.
Maybe that beeping was her alarm going off…
But it couldn't be. The last thing Rachel remembered was driving straight toward a tree! Rachel opened her eyes quickly, feeling the panic set in.
She looked around and realized that she was sitting in a dark room. A hospital room. The beeping was coming from a heart monitor to her right. She could also see a long pole holding an IV. She then noticed the needle in her right hand, pumping nutrients into her body. Rachel tried to shift a little in the bed, and it wasn't until then that she noticed her right leg was wrapped in something heavy. It can only be a cast, she thought to herself. No dancing for a while.
The entire time she was taking in her surroundings, her head was aching painfully. She reached her left hand up and immediately felt some gauze wrapped around her head. While she considered calling the nurse for some pain medicine, she also wished she would have woken up to someone sitting with her. It was scary waking up in a hospital alone, not knowing what happened. Did her fathers know? What about Finn? She knew that he was probably blaming himself for the entire thing.
She already started planning out the speech in her head that would put him at ease.
A sudden flushing noise made her jump. She looked toward the door where the noise came from and waited for it to open. When it did, she smiled when she realized who it was. He had turned the light off while walking out of the bathroom, so it was still close to pitch black in the room, but Rachel knew it was Finn. After all, he was the only freakishly tall person that would be in the hospital with her.
"Finn…" Rachel said quietly.
Finn's head snapped up when he heard Rachel's voice. A smile automatically appeared.
"Rach!" he said happily. He then walked over to the wall and flipped one of the light switches. It only turned on one of the lights, so it didn't blind her. Rachel then was able to see all the balloons and stuffed animals and flowers that were all over the room.
Finn noticed her preoccupation. "It's all mostly from the glee club. And me, of course," he said sheepishly. "My mom and Burt helped out too."
"That's really sweet of all of you," Rachel said with a warm smile.
Finn shrugged. "It's no big deal. The gift shop had tons of awesome stuff," he said.
Rachel smiled even wider. Finn then grew concerned.
"How are you feeling?" he asked sympathetically, taking his usual seat next to her bed.
"Honestly?" she asked. He nodded. "My head is absolutely killing me. The rest of me feels okay, I guess. Just a little sore," she said.
"I'd be sore too," Finn said. "We're really lucky, Rach."
"How bad was it?" she asked.
Finn opened his mouth to speak, but had difficulty finding the words.
"Pretty bad then, I guess," Rachel said.
Finn swallowed hardly. "Your car is totaled. When I saw you, I thought…"
"You thought I was dead?" Rachel finished his sentence for him, knowing what he wanted to say.
Finn frowned and nodded. "Wait, so you found me?" she asked.
"Yeah. I'd been looking for hours. Kurt and Puck helped too," Finn said with a shallow smile. "I went to your place after school and you weren't there. Then, I looked all your favorite places and still couldn't find you. I freaked out and called them. We looked all over Lima. And then I remembered how much you loved the lake and we gave it a shot and found you."
Rachel reached her hand out and touched his. "Thank you for finding me," she said.
"Don't thank me. It's my fault this happened," Finn said, sounding angry with himself.
"I knew you were going to say that," Rachel said quietly.
"It's the truth," Finn said, shrugging.
"No, it's not," Rachel insisted. "I was an idiot. Instead of staying and talking to you, I ran away. And then I drove very dangerously, breaking the law numerous times, might I add. And then I crashed my car trying to get a tissue because I was crying so hard after driving past the lake. This entire situation is my fault."
"Rach, if I was just honest in the first place, this wouldn't have happened," Finn said quietly.
"Your honesty might have made things easier, but it didn't lead to the accident. My own stupidity did," Rachel insisted.
"I really am sorry," Finn said, looking into her eyes. "And I was so scared the entire time. I've been sleeping here, waiting for you to wake up."
"You didn't have to sleep here," Rachel said. She felt bad that he was sleeping at the hospital, but it meant a lot.
"Yes I did. Well, we still can't get a hold of your dads, which really pisses me and everyone else off by the way, and I wanted to. I love you, Rach… more than anything. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. And this chair's more comfy than it looks," Finn said with a smirk.
"I can't tell you how much that means to me," Rachel said with a smile.
"So, are we still… together?" Finn asked.
Rachel seemed to think through her answer for a few moments. It made Finn anxious.
"I had plenty of time to think while driving around. Before the accident of course," she said, grimacing. "While I am very upset that we won't be sharing our first times and I am even more upset that you weren't honest with me, I can't imagine not being with you, Finn. I love you too much." She said the last part quietly before looking back up at Finn.
He was smiling a little. "I know it's gonna take a while before you trust me again, but I will earn it back, Rach. I really do care about you more than anything," Finn said.
Rachel glanced down at her hand still on his. His were so warm and comforting.
"Do you really?" Rachel asked.
"Of course I do," Finn insisted.
Rachel took a deep breath and winced a little, not knowing that doing so would hurt as much as it did. "Oh, they had to drain one of your lungs," Finn said after noticing her discomfort.
Rachel nodded in understanding. "Anyway, while I know that you love me, I can't help but still think that you might be embarrassed that we're together. You really are getting so much better with not letting your reputation rule your life, but I still think your reputation influences some decisions you make…"
"What do you mean?" Finn asked, feeling confused.
"You and I both know that I am nothing close to popular. But I seem to be picked on rather often with little comments here and there. I try and be confident and defend myself, but it's hard sometimes. And it's really hard when you laugh with them…" Rachel said uneasily.
Finn closed his eyes for a moment, silently cursing himself. He shifted his hand so that his fingers were now intertwined with Rachel's. He squeezed her hand.
"I am so sorry about that, Rach," Finn said. "I know I'm not that great of a boyfriend, but I really do love you and I hope that you don't think that's not true. I've screwed up. More times than I can count. But all I can do about it now is say that I'm sorry for all the crap I've done wrong. And I can promise that it won't happen again," Finn said quickly. "After thinking that I lost you, I realize how much you mean to me. I literally felt like I couldn't breathe when I saw you in that car. It hurt so badly. Now I just want to keep you safe. I don't want anything to ever hurt you again. And that includes slushies and insults from idiots. And I won't let it hurt you. I'll stand up for you, Rach. You're so much better than them and I shouldn't just sit by and let them treat you like you aren't."
Rachel had to reach up and wipe her eyes. That was honestly the sweetest thing that she had ever heard him say.
"Are you okay?" Finn asked worriedly, watching her wipe her eyes. "What hurts?"
"Nothing hurts, Finn," Rachel said with a smile. "That was just… perfect. It's exactly what I needed to hear."
"Really? 'Cause I totally just thought I sounded like an idiot," Finn said, shrugging.
"You didn't," Rachel said. "You sounded like an amazing man who I'm lucky to have."
Finn blushed a little but smiled.
"Okay, enough with the emotional stuff," Rachel said, wiping her eyes once more. "How long have I been sleeping?"
Finn looked down at his watch. "A little over three days," he said. "You cracked your skull and had a concussion. The doctor said it could take weeks for you to wake up."
"Looks like we got lucky again," Rachel said with a smile.
"Guess so," Finn said happily. "But you'll probably be here for a few more days. They have to make sure the brain swelling went down and everything."
"Naturally," Rachel said. "It looks like I won't be taking part in Sectionals then."
"Guess not," Finn said. "It's in a couple days and you're stuck with that cast for a few weeks. Maybe they'll let you out early and you can come watch us perform."
Rachel smiled. "Yeah, maybe." She then looked down at her lump of a leg under the blankets.
"You're upset about missing Sectionals, aren't you?" Finn said knowingly. Rachel looked up at him and nodded. "I'm sure Mr. Schu will let you make up for missing it by having tons of solos in Glee."
Rachel shook her head. "It's not just about having solos, Finn. I love performing with the entire group. Remember what I said before? Being a part of something special makes you special. When I'm part of that group, I'm special. We all are. That's what I'll miss. That feeling."
"I should have recorded that. No one would believe you actually said it," Finn said jokingly. Rachel smiled a little.
"I really do love you, Finn," Rachel said firmly.
"I love you, too, Rach," Finn replied, making Rachel smile.
"Now, let's get you some drugs," Finn said, pressing the nurse call button.
Rachel giggled. "Do you have to make me sound like an addict?"
"Hey, we're stuck here for a while. Might as well have some fun," Finn said with a smile. He stood up and carefully kissed Rachel on the forehead.
She couldn't help but smile. Sure, they had some things to work through, but they loved each other. That's all that mattered.
THE END
-glee-glee-glee-
A/N: And that's it! Cheesy ending, I know. But I really hope you liked it :) Reviews would really help me to improve, so please leave some feedback!
Oh, and let me know if you want an epilogue about Rachel returning to school or something! I'd be more than happy to add it. I have some ideas, but I want to know if you guys would like to read it! Let me know :)