A/N: Before I start: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST EPISODE OF GOTHAM SEASON 5! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, GO WATCH IT AND COME BACK AFTERWARDS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

So the first episode of Season 5 just aired…and I'm severely shookith. I just can't get over the fact that Selina is so deep in depression from her injury that she legitimately tries to commit suicide. It just doesn't seem like something she'd just do, especially with how much we know she cares about Bruce, even though she's really hurting right now. I basically wrote this as an explanation of what led up to Selina's failed attempt and her reasoning behind it. I'd usually say 'Hope you enjoy!' right about now, but this isn't the kind of story that should start with that, so…here you go, I guess.

A Bedside Visit

Selina stirred from her nap. Sleep was the only refuge from the throbbing pain, and recently even that had been plagued by nightmares. She laid back and stared at the ceiling for God knows how long.

Three months. She'd been through three months of this. Unable to walk, barely able to move, completely helpless.

It was humiliating.

But the worst part of it all was Bruce's visits.

He looked at her differently than before, like she was someone who now needed his protection.

She hated it. She couldn't even stand to look at him anymore.

Wake up, eat, drink, sleep, repeat. This was her life now.

She just wanted a way out of the cycle.

She just wanted a way out…

"Hey, Selina," a cold, monotone voice said.

Selina froze.

Ice shot through her heart. She felt like crying, like screaming.

Panic. Fear so intense it was impossible to describe. Scarecrow's toxin had nothing on this.

Jeremiah Valeska was smiling coldly down at her. The last time she'd seen his face in person…

She tried to yell for someone, anyone, to help her. But her voice wouldn't work. She was paralyzed in fear.

"Hi," he started, calmly taking a seat next to her bed. "How are you, Selina?"

Her voice suddenly came back. She was able to yell out a single cry of defiance before Jeremiah clapped his hand down onto her mouth.

He shushed her and lulled, "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you. I'd just like to have a conversation."

She looked up at him disbelief. The face that'd been haunting her every waking moment was now smiling down at her, very much real. She swallowed and he removed his hand from her mouth.

He smiled when she didn't yell out again. "Good, good. Now to business: how are you doing?"

Selina just stared at him. What right did he have to ask that? "Go to hell," she told him, regaining a bit of confidence, although only for a moment.

He smiled again. "Sweetheart, I hate to break it to you, but we're already there."

She shook her head. "W-what do you want?" she stuttered out.

He removed his hat and placed it on the nightstand, saying, "Oh, I was just coming to check if you were alright. I heard about the incident with Scarecrow's men…" he shook his head and clucked disapprovingly, "and, believe me, they will be dealt with soon."

"Why…why didn't you just kill me?" Selina asked. She'd been wondering that ever since he'd appeared that night. The night that she'd allowed herself to feel hopeful, for once. The one night that she thought everything might be alright. She'd gotten a bullet in the stomach for those thoughts.

Jeremiah furrowed his brow. "Kill you? Why would I kill you?" he asked, seeming sincerely confused.

"Well…you shot me, so…"

"But I didn't kill you," Jeremiah responded. "Killing you would defeat the point of all of this. Do you take me for a fool, Selina?" he asked, getting real close to her face.

She shook her head silently.

He grinned. "I thought not. But no, Selina, the plan was never to kill you."

"Well…" she started hesitantly, "w-what was the plan then?"

He laughed out loud this time. "You know, Cat, I thought it'd be obvious to you what I intend to do. You've had plenty of time to think about it..."

She swallowed. "You want to kill Bruce."

"No!" he roared. Selina to recoiled in fear. He returned to his normal tone and demeanor just as quickly and continued, "Kill him? No, no, no, no, no, Selina, no, I have no intention of killing Bruce Wayne. No, I don't want him dead, I want him destroyed. And you…" he reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face, causing her to flinch involuntarily, "will be the one who does it. You will destroy Bruce Wayne."

She swallowed back her fear and replied, "Like hell I will. Besides, Bruce doesn't care. All he cares about is finding you. And he will."

"Oh, I'm counting on it," Jeremiah told her. "And that thing about Bruce not caring about you, that's so wrong it isn't even funny. You see, Selina, the difference between me and Bruce Wayne…"

"Other than being a psychopath," Selina interrupted.

He ignored her and continued, "The difference is that I have nothing to lose. And a man with nothing to lose is a dangerous one. So, in order to keep our friend in check, I need you alive. At least, for now."

He patted her on the stomach where she'd been shot, sending waves of pain through her body.

"Oh, and that," he started, gesturing to her wound, "was nothing personal, by the way." He stood up and put his fedora back on. "It was just business. You of all people would understand. Now," he checked his watch, "I ought to be leaving before the doctor comes back." He smiled coldly. "It was nice seeing you again, Selina."

He whisked out of the room, calmly walking out the front door like he owned the place.

Her heart rate picked up as panic took over again. Selina couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. Uncontrollable tears started streaming down her face and she felt a heavy pressure rest on her chest.

She'd had panic attacks more and more frequently as the weeks had passed, but this was the worst of them.

A nurse came into the room with a cart, and Selina flipped onto her side to hide her face.

The nurse walked out for a moment, and Selina glanced at the cart.

She spied a scalpel, just sitting there.

Her body moved before she could think.

This was it…

She threw her sheets to the side and dragged her upper body out of the bed.

Her way out…

Her body collapsed to the hard, cold ground, but she didn't care. She didn't even notice the throbbing pain in her abdomen.

She was so sick and tired of being used…

She dragged herself forwards, eventually getting a hand onto the cart where she felt around for the knife.

Jeremiah was going to use her to break Bruce…

Her hand touched a long, thin, metallic object and she grabbed onto it.

She wouldn't let that happen, she had to protect him, no matter the price…

The cart crashed onto its side from her weight, causing a commotion.

She wouldn't let Jeremiah hurt Bruce anymore than he already had…

She took the knife to her wrist, but stalled.

She told herself that this was for Bruce, that this was for his good alone. It may have only been a half-truth, but that didn't matter.

Just then, a body slammed into her and the knife clattered to the ground. She reached out for it in desperation, begging the person to stop, to let her do it.

Another body joined in and restrained her arms, and a third grabbed onto her torso and held her. She felt a prick in her neck and her arms went limp, almost as paralyzed as her legs. She looked up at the person holding her and her heart shattered.

Bruce Wayne stared down at her, tears filling his eyes. She'd only seen that expression once before: the face of the boy in the alleyway.

He'd grown so much, but the scared little kid was still in there.

"Bruce…" she whispered, "Jeremiah," everything was starting to go blurry. "Protect…" She struggled to put together a coherent sentence, she wanted to explain. "Just…just…just let me die…" she finally uttered before her body gave to the drug and she passed out.

When she woke up, Bruce was gone. It was light outside. There was a single strap around her abdomen, restraining her to the bed. On the nightstand was a piece of paper folded over. Her name was on it.

She took it in shaking hands and opened the letter. Inside was Bruce Wayne's familiar scrawl.

Dear Selina,

Please don't do that again. I know you're in pain and I know that I'm being selfish, but you're all I have left.

If you were gone, I don't know what I'd do.

Call me when you wake up, there may be another way I can help.

I love you.

-Bruce

He didn't understand…she was trying to protect him just like he was trying to protect her.

A nurse came into the room and asked how she was doing. She shook her head, not offering a response.

The nurse smiled kindly, a sharp contrast to Jeremiah's sinister grin. "Well, I must say, you have quite the boyfriend."

"He's not my…" she started, but stopped. She didn't need to explain herself to some wannabe doctor's assistant.

"Not your boyfriend?" she asked. "Really? Because he sat there, awake, all night waiting for you to come to, even though we told him you'd be out for twenty four hours. He only left half an hour ago, and his butler had to drag him."

Selina nodded, a light smile playing at her lips. It'd been so long since she'd done that…

"That sounds like him," she commented dryly, staring down at the paper.

Maybe there was something worth living for…

Jeremiah be damned.

A/N: So that was a bit shorter than most of the 'Night-Of-Episode-Oneshots' I've written, but I'm still pretty shaken up from tonight's episode so… I hope I got the tone of the situation well enough, since this one was supposed really serious. I tried to end it on a somewhat positive note, but I'm not getting my hopes up for the events to come in future episodes. This is Gotham after all, and if the trailers aren't straight up lying to us, Selina might actually die soon (although she'll probably get resurrected by the Witch, whoever that is, but we'll see).

Anyways, I'm super happy that Gotham is back and I can't wait to see what's in store for the final season, good or bad. Also, if you'd be so kind as to Review, it'd be very, very much appreciated. Ciao for now.

And for any fans of Roles Reversed, I should be updating again on Saturday/Sunday.