The enchanted forest. Midnight. The Evil Queen's carriage barreled down the trail, hauling doom and despair to any peasants unlucky enough to challenge the queen to a race. Regina always cheated in her carriage races; it was a common sight for rival racers to burst into flames, at which point the queen would simply shrug and make an offhanded comment about the dangers of spontaneous combustion. But tonight was different.
The roar of a car's engine tore through the darkness. Regina could see headlights behind her, gaining quickly. "But, there shouldn't be cars in the enchanted forest!" She summoned her guards, and the black-garbed soldiers climbed onto the roof of the carriage to lie in wait for the approaching vehicle.
Regina squinted as she was blinded by the headlights. She threw a fireball at the vehicle, but the car swerved to dodge. From the light of the flame, she could see a shiny Volkswagen badge in the car's grill. The car revved its engine and pulled up to pass.
"On him!" cried Regina. Two of her guards leapt from the carriage but bounced harmlessly off the hood of the car. Another guard started to fire arrows at the car, but the Volkswagen dodged them easily and continued to pass. It was going to pass Regina's carriage.
As the Volkswagen passed, Regina stared daggers at the vehicle's driver. Her jaw dropped. Sitting in the driver's seat was what could only be described as a large, human-like rabbit. Brown velvet ears, a pink nose, a Cheshire grin- it was unmistakably a rabbit. And then Regina recognized the irony- the car was a Volkswagen Rabbit.
The car passed the Evil Queen's carriage, but to Regina's surprise, it seemed to slow significantly. Was the rabbit, or rather, the Hare, slowing to gloat? Or was it something else?
"Milady! Something approaches from the rear!" called Regina's last bodyguard.
Angered by the interruption, Regina cast a spell on the bodyguard and launched him into the sky. As he vanished into a speck in the distance, she wondered how he'd enjoy spending the rest of his life on the moon. Her musing was interrupted by another set of lights coming from the back.
Regina immediately recognized the car's design- a Mitsubishi Turtle. The car was deceptively fast- even though it appeared to be plodding along steadily, she noticed the distance between her carriage and the car shrinking. She watched bemusedly as the car passed. Her eyes bulged when she saw the driver- a humanoid Tortoise! Hairless green skin glistening in the pale moonlight, the Tortoise continued its pace and easily passed the showboating Hare.
"Could it be?" Regina asked herself. Had one of Henry's Ninja Turtles somehow come to life? But if that was the case, what was the Hare? "Driver, take me back to the castle. I have some research to do. EVIL research!" Regina frowned evilly and watched the taillights disappear off into the distance.
MEANWHILE
Dirk Speedblood was lost. One moment, he was driving through Maine, following a rumor that would help him bring back his girlfriend, who in a freak accident was transformed into a magic crystal and shattered into pieces that were used to fuel his 1993 red Honda Civic past the speed of sound. The next, he was driving his Civic on a cobblestone path through a pitch black forest.
A flash of movement along the side of the road caused Dirk Speedblood to slam on his E-brake. He slid to a stop and rolled down his window to let some light out into the forest so he could better see what had moved. To his surprise, the movement came from a young lad no more than twenty years of age.
"Hi, I'm Henry! Can you give me a lift?" asked the lad.
"I don't know…" said Dirk Speedblood. "I was always warned about this kind of thing. What if you're evil? I've seen The Omen. I know how this works!"
Henry turned a bright shade of red. "Actually, my mom is the evil one. And my grandpa. And a few other relatives. It's a long story. But I promise that I'm not evil."
Dirk Speedblood didn't trust Henry, but he knew he'd need all the help he needed to find his way through the forest. Still, he resolved to keep his eye on the lad. Henry pulled open the door and hopped into the passenger seat.
"So where to, Henry?" asked Dirk Speedblood. "I have to admit, I'm a bit lost around these parts. What's the deal with this place, anyways?"
Henry shifted his eyes, thought for a moment, and replied carefully, "Just your everyday curse. This kind of thing happens all the time around here."
"Ha," Dirk Speedblood chuckled. He didn't believe in magic. Nothing would ever make him believe in magic. Despite all the signs around him, all the things that had happened in his life, he promised himself that magic wasn't real.
"Ok," said Henry. "Let's go to my grandpa's place. Even though he's evil, he can act like he's a decent guy from time to time. And if you've got something he wants, he definitely wont hurt you until he's gotten it from you."
Dirk Speedblood wasn't sure if Henry was serious. "Whatever you say, kid."
"Kid!? You're not that much older than me, are you?" asked Henry.
"You'd be surprised how much battle ages you," replied Dirk Speedblood, "and I've seen my fair share."
"Cool!" shouted Henry with a bit too much enthusiasm. "We'll have to fight to the death someday. That'd be fun, wouldn't it?"
Dirk Speedblood grimaced and rubbed the hideous scar on his face, a small upside-down L shaped mass beneath his right eye. "Whatever you say, kid."
The shape of a gargantuan, terrifying yet elegant manor came into focus in front of Dirk Speedblood. He slowed the Civic down, shifting it into neutral to ease the wear on his tires. "What in the name of Honda?"
Before the car even stopped, Henry pushed open the door and rolled out of the moving vehicle. "Grandpa! I'm coming!" Henry darted off and disappeared through the front door of the manor. Dirk Speedblood sat and watched as a bolt of lightning illuminated the vast mansion. What horrible secrets lay within? Gritting his teeth, Dirk Speedblood decided to find out. He put the car into second gear and drove straight through the doors of the manor.
MEANWHILE
Emma threw the book straight at Hook's face. He barely managed to block it with his hook. "Now what did I do to deserve that, love?" asked Hook innocently. He unscrewed his flask and took a swig of rum, a task easier said than done with only one hand.
"Other than pillaging, plundering, and being a generally bad person?" Emma grinned. "Maybe I was just testing your reflexes."
With a quick flick of his hook, Hook tossed the book back at Emma. Startled, she summoned an orange ball of light energy and blasted the book into pieces. Scorched pieces of parchment floated down toward the table.
The door to the library groaned open as Belle entered hurriedly. "Have you found it? A small, brown book with a green cover? That's the one with the spell that will allow us to break this curse."
Emma and Hook both stared at the shreds of paper scattering through the air. They looked at each other, then at Belle, then back at each other.
"Was that…?" asked Emma.
"I think so," said Hook.
Belle tapped her foot impatiently. "So you found it? Good, then let's recite the spell and get everything back to normal." She paused when she saw the guilty expressions on Emma and Hook's faces. "Or not?"
Emma blushed. "Do you have a plan B?"
MEANWHILE
"You can't be serious." Snow White pouted angrily at Charming. "You're really telling me that Henry is evil. Our Henry?"
"I know how it sounds!" Charming shook his head in exasperation. "I had a hard time believing it myself, but it's definitely true!"
The sound of the whistle from a tea kettle broke the room's silence. Charming got up and began to pour tea for Snow and himself. "I saw it with my own eyes. He just walked right up to a villager and tore the poor guy's beating heart from his chest!"
Snow laughed. "You saw Henry do that? I have a hard time believing that."
But Charming was serious. "That's not the end of it. While the poor guy was standing there stunned, Henry took a bite out of the guy's heart, right in front of him. He apparently didn't like the taste of it, so he tossed the heart to the ground."
Snow tried to act undisturbed, but her frenzied response gave away her unease. "Well, maybe he thought it was an apple. I don't know! Growing up around Regina, can you blame him? And anyhow, I don't believe you!"
"I knew you'd say that," said Charming. He pulled open the drawer under the sink and carefully picked up a rolled ball of cloth underneath. "I think he saw me. He ran off into the woods screaming gibberish after that." Charming brought both cups of tea back to Snow White and set the cloth ball on the table between them. He carefully unrolled the cloth.
"No! That's not…" Snow White stammered.
Within the roll of cloth was a human heart with Henry-sized tooth marks in it.