Find Me
I stood on the stage. The curtain was down, pouring velvet over the catwalk, dividing me from the pole. I had by back to the curtain. Music pounded in my ears and I lifted my arms over my head, letting my back arch. I felt like a goddess, and to the men on the other side of the curtain, I was.
I smiled to myself. I was dancing to 'Lady Marmalade' tonight. Appropriate.
The curtain lifted behind me, and the muffled sound of voices and music gave way to a thunderous beat and cat-calls. I swayed my hips slowly, running my hands down my sides and onto my thighs. I turned, a sexy smirk on my face. I walked down the catwalk and swung myself around the pole, loving the feeling of a thousand pairs of eyes on me, all of them worshiping every inch of me.
That's when I saw him. The most incredible green eyes I've ever seen, glowing in the darkness of the club. My gaze locked with his, and I knew that tonight, I was dancing for him. Every man in the room wanted to touch me, but I'd never actually wanted any of them to until I saw him.
Let's get one thing straight. I'm not a whore. I'm a stripper, best in Seattle, but no man from any of the clubs I've worked at has ever laid a hand on me if I didn't want him to. Sure, I'd slept with guys before, but never had a slept with one from a club, and no amount of money was going to change that. But I was learning that an extraordinary amount of lust could.
He was sitting with a group of rowdy teens; I would guess a birthday party. We often had boys bring their friends on an eighteenth birthday. It wasn't his. I searched the group for the one who's birthday it was. It was easy to pick him out; he was the center of attention. I blew the blond boy a kiss and turned my attention back to the incredible green eyes.
They were there until I finished my shift. I never took my eyes off of him. It was 2am by the time I got changed into my street clothes.
He was outside, leaning against a silver Volvo when I started to cross the parking lot. I changed my direction, heading towards him instead of down the street towards my apartment, my high heels clicking against the pavement. He looked up, his eyes going wide when he saw me, but he didn't have time to say anything or even react to my presence because I grabbed handful of his shirt, dragging him towards me, and kissed him hard.
I'm not usually so impulsive, but I hadn't slept with anyone in months and I'd never encountered a man I wanted so badly in all my life. I'd probably never see him again after tonight, and I was going to have him before he disappeared forever.
We parted but I barely had time to inhale before he pulled me back for another searing kiss. His hands roamed all over my body, leaving burning trails wherever he touched me.
"My apartment," I breathed, my voice ragged between kisses. He was pressing me up against his car, and what was left of my common sense was telling me that sex in the parking lot was a bad idea. Before I knew what was happening, he spun me away from the car, opened the door and pressed the keys into my hand.
"Take me there," he whispered, his voice husky and sexy. I nearly collapsed when he let me go and let himself into the passenger's seat.
I got into the car, sticking the keys into the ignition. Even that managed to turn me on. I was in one hell of a state, and his hand on my thigh wasn't helping. Something told me that it was probably dangerous to drive like that, but I quashed it. If we walked back, I don't think I'd make it to the apartment complex before I had to drag him into an alley or something, and I really would prefer my bed. I pulled the car out of the parking lot. The silence was electric.
"What should I call you?" he asked finally.
"Anything you want," I answered instantly. He laughed. God, what an incredible sound.
His hand slid higher on my thigh and I forced myself to slow down. It really was getting dangerous to drive like that. "I was asking for your name," he murmured.
"I know," I replied, breathless. "What makes you think I'm going to give you my name?" I was pulling into the apartment complex now. I lived on the bottom floor, and for once, I was glad for it. It was just that much shorter of a distance between us and my bedroom.
He grinned. "If you don't give me your name, then I won't give you mine, and that would be tragic," he told me, stepping out of the car.
I struggled with my seatbeat; my hands were shaking. By the time I got it undone, he had come around to the driver's side and opened the door for me.
"Why would that be tragic?" I asked, letting him help me up.
He offered me the sexiest lob-sided smile I'd ever seen and wound one arm around my waist. "If I don't give you my name, what are you going to scream later?" he asked in my ear.
My knees gave out and I reached out to catch myself on the car, though he held me up easily enough.
"Call me Jezebel," I whispered finally.
He smiled his half-smile again. "That's your stage name," he noted.
I smiled back and shrugged. "Now, what can I call you?" I asked, leading him back towards my apartment. I dug my keys out of my pocket.
"Troy," he answered when we reached my door. "In honour of the city that fell for the love of a beautiful woman."
I could feel myself blushing in the darkness as I stepped into my apartment. "You have a hell of a way with words." It didn't matter much, though. We didn't do much talking after that. I kicked the door shut and kissed him. We almost didn't make it to the bedroom. By the time we reached the bedroom door, I was wearing nothing but a thong and he wasn't wearing anything at all.
He pushed open the door and picked me up, carrying me to the bed with him. "God, you're beautiful," he whispered, pressing his hands down on my chest and kissing my neck.
I moaned. I couldn't even speak anymore. His touch was like heaven and hell; it felt incredible, unlike anything I've ever felt before, but all I wanted was more. He teased me, touching me gently and slowly. At some point, my hazy mind realized that my stereo was still on, with my CD of stripping music.
Is that you doing that to me
With your stare
I feel the temperature start to rise
And I
Really take it from there
I start to press my skin to you
I'm craving it
I'm feeling you
Will you relieve me fast
Feast your eyes on my display
Take control
Fall over me
Cover me in ecstasy
I let out a wordless cry when he finally entered me. He pressed his mouth over mine, silencing me while he began his sweet, slow torture.
Let me ride to heaven
Let me feel the swelling
Oh let me concentrate
I can feel it
When I taste
Like the wind
I breathe
Crawling inside of me baby
Oh oh oh
I locked my legs around him, arching my back, loving the low groans he made every time he pushed deeper. I couldn't see anymore. There was only sound and touch. His voice and his skin were tangled together; the slow beat of the music and his movements were impossible to tell apart.
Now's the time for you to let go of
All your inhibitions
We can do this one more time
With a little
Tease and conversation
Watch the way my body moves
Feel the rhythm melting you
Mmm this is how it should be
Crawl over you
I'll dominate
Your destiny
I'll be your faith
I will be your fantasy
Suddenly everything was crystal clear. I could make out every bronze strand of hair on his head. Then, everything went white and and I was falling. Every muscle in my body went tense. I could feel every part of him as he tumbled with me. I was writhing and gasping, pushing him further and further over his edge.
He bit down on my shoulder, his arms holding me tight against him as he started breathing again, ragged and warm on my skin.
Let me ride to heaven
Let me feel the swelling
Oh let me concentrate
I can feel it
When I taste
Like the wind
I breathe
Crawling inside of me oh baby
Oh oh oh
Once he'd gathered his breath, he lifted his head and kissed me gently. It was possibly the single most loving, tender thing I had ever experienced. Some part of me ached to know that tomorrow, he'd be gone and I'd probably never see him again. I didn't even know his real name.
If I've fallen in love with the soul
If I've fallen in love with myself
I'll take it all in one time
I can feel it
When I taste
Like the wind
I breathe
Crawling inside of me baby
Oh
He was still inside me, still on top of me. "That was amazing..." he breathed.
"I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so," I answered, smiling.
He looked up at me, returning my smile. "Jezebel... that's too long. Can I just call you Belle?"
I laughed. It was remarkably close to my actual name. "Sure. Like I said, call me whatever you want to."
"Again," he whispered.
It took me a moment to understand what he meant. Once his hands found my breasts and he began to move inside me again, I managed to figure it out.
--------------------
The sun was coming up by the time we were finally too exhausted to continue. I didn't want to sleep, so I asked him about his family.
"We're all adopted. I've known my sisters and brothers since I was really young. We were friends, and we were all orphans."
I frowned, thinking I touched on a sensitive subject. "I'm really sorry."
He pulled me towards him and kissed my forehead. "Don't be. I'm happy with them. What about you? Where's your family?"
I sighed. "My parents died in a car accident when I was young, and my sister and brother were separated from me in the foster care system." It was a touchy subject for me. I decided to move on to a safer topic. "How old are you?"
"18. You?" He pushed a stray hair out of my eyes.
"18. I'm starting my senior year in the fall."
"Me too." He sighed. "You're young for a stripper."
"It's good money. I need to pay my rent somehow. And I enjoy it. I like dancing," I answered, smiling up at him. "The club's really classy and I like all the other girls, and the tips are incredible. I really can't complain. Well, other than the fact that I can't keep this apartment if I want to save up enough for school next year."
"What do you want to study?" he asked.
I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "I have no idea. Maybe I'll take a year off. It'll give me a chance to get the money I need and figure out what I want to do with my life." I yawned.
"We should probably get some sleep before the daytime arrives," he noted, sounding amused.
"But then you'll have to leave!" I said, frowning.
He laughed. "No I don't. It's Saturday. I don't have anything to do."
"Won't your parents be mad?"
"Sure," he answered, shrugging. "But I'm dead when I get home anyways. I ditched my brothers at the club and they're going to kill me. It doesn't really matter at this point. Sticking around here for a few extra hours will postpone my death and I get to spend it with you, which is an extra plus."
I smiled and snuggled into him, perfectly content to fall asleep to the sound of his breathing. It had been a long time since I'd felt this comfortable and at home with someone.
-------------------
I often dream of my family. They were taken from me when I was very young.
My neighbourhood was full of young families. A single mother, Josephine Hale, lived next door to me, with her younger sister, Esme, and her twin children, Jasper and Rosalie. My own family consisted of my parents, my younger sister Alice and my older brother Emmett. My neighbours on the other side of my house were the Masens; Mr and Mrs Masen, their son, Edward, and their daughter, Renesme.
Our three families had a ritual: every Friday night, everyone came to my house for pizza and then the parents would go out to do something fun, leaving Esme in charge of us younger kids. We were the best of friends.
One such Friday, a tractor trailer took an offramp too fast and rolled over onto my parents' van while they were on their way home from the movies. Our parents were killed instantly, and thus, we were orphans.
We wanted to stay together, but because we weren't blood relatives, our group was split into four: Alice, Emmett and I were sent to New York, Edward and Renesme went to Florida, Jasper and Rose ended up in Texas, and Esme stayed in Arizona.
The foster family that I lived with was huge. We always had parents coming in, looking to adopt. One family, the Swans from Toronto, came down and decided that they wanted to adopt me. Just me. My terrifically inept case worker decided that it was more important for me to be adopted than to stay with my siblings. That's when I became Bella Swan.
My new parents turned out to be abusive. I was treated like Cinderella, and after I missed school several days in a row to finish my chores, a truant officer showed up and I was brought into the Canadian foster care system. Over time, I ended up across the country in Vancouver. When I was 16, I left the care of my foster parents there and went south to Seattle to make my own way in life.
I live through it all, over and over again, all the upheaval and heartbreak, almost every night. I must secretly be masochistic or my mind wouldn't be so cruel to me.
-------------------
I woke to the sound of ringing. My companion was gone out of bed, so I got up, wrapped a robe around me, wiped the dried tears from my eyes, and went out into the living room to find the source of the noise.
He was squatting on the floor, wearing only his jeans, searching through the pocket of his jacket. "My phone," he said in way of explanation.
I sat down on the couch, happy to watch him move around my apartment wearing no shirt. There was no better sight in the world. I shoved the bad memories back into the back of my head, where they belonged. I wasn't about to let them sour the good mood that was creeping up on me.
He finally found his cell phone (it must have fallen out of his pocket when he kicked his jeans across the floor; it ended up under my couch). "Uh-oh. Mom's mad. I probably should head home soon," he said, looking at the screen. He looked up at me, his face apologetic. "I'm sorry. I wish I could stay longer..." His eyes lit up as he came up with an idea. "When do you work next?"
"Tonight," I answered, not following.
He grinned and leaned over the couch to kiss me. "I'll come see you. And we can meet in front of my car again when you finish, if you'd like," he offered. His impish, crooked smile was making me melt.
"Sounds good," I answered, trying to sound casual. It definitely didn't work.
He kissed me again. "See you tonight." Then he was gone.
---------------------
My mystery lover was at the club that night, just like he promised he would be. I was giddy with excitement over what I was going to do; I had a special surprise in store, just for him. Shortly before my curtain, I headed to the DJ's booth. Jacob looked up, surprised, when I knocked on the door.
"Can you play track 3 for my dance tonight?" I asked meekly, holding out a CD for him. "I know we're not supposed to change songs at the last minute but... please?" I pouted at him.
He chuckled, taking the disc. "You know I can't say no to that face, Bella."
I grinned, giving him a quick hug. "Thanks!" I hurried out of the booth and headed to the stage, ready to give an amazing performance.
----------------------
The music started and I was surprised by my own reaction to it; my whole body went tense, memories of the previous night flooding my mind. I stepped out on the catwalk, my eyes finding his almost immediately.
Is that you doing that to me
With your stare
I feel the temperature start to rise
And I
Really take it from there
I could feel echoes of his hands and mouth on my skin. My body started to move to the music, reacting to the sounds as if he were touching me at that moment.
I couldn't feel any eyes on me but his, and as I danced, my mind was running wild with memory and fantasy. Several times my hands strayed towards my center, making me shudder visibly every time my fingertips brushed against the thin cloth there. I wanted him tonight in a way that made my need last night seem laughable.
When my dance was finished, the song stopped and there was a rare moment when there was no music, and even more rare was that the crowd of men was silent as well. Jake caught the silence, and as soon as another song began to play, the men erupted into cheers and catcalls. I'd never earned so many tips in my life, but when I reached the back of the stage, I didn't bother counting; my mind was too hazy. I walked straight to Jake's booth to retrieve my CD. I needed a break.
Jacob was standing when I reached his booth, holding on to the back of his chair so tightly that his knuckles were white. His whole body was rigid.
"Jake? You okay?" I asked, concerned.
"Holy shit...." he breathed. He looked up at me, and his eyes raked over my body as if seeing me for the first time. "I thought I was immune to a stripper's charms. Damn, I've seen enough performances in my lifetime, but.... God, Bella, I've never seen anything like that."
I grinned. "Oh, well, thanks!" I said cheerfully, grabbing my CD. "See you later, Jake!" I called, leaving him to recover. No wonder I'd done so well, if I could make Jacob lose his cool.
I reached the dressing room to find Lucille, my friend and fellow dancer, waiting to pounce on me. "BELLS! That was AMAZING! This club had never seen anything that sexy before. That man must have been incredible to bring that out in you." She grabbed my hand and dragged me back out of the dressing room. "You have to point him out to me," she said, peering out onto the club floor from behind the edge of the curtain.
I rolled my eyes and peeked back out into the room. He was standing by the bar with his eyes closed and his lips parted. He was breathing heavily; I could see his chest rising and falling from across the room. Obviously, my performance had the desired effect on him. I grinned and turned back to Lucille. "By the bar. Eyes closed. Sexist thing in that room."
Lucille nodded, giggling at my last comment, and peeked back out. She nodded approvingly. "My, my. He is definitely delicious looking. How is he in bed?"
I crossed my arms. "None of your business," I said, though I couldn't keep the blush and the grin off my face.
She nodded knowingly. "That good, huh? Lucky girl."
------------------
That night was better than the last, and again, we stayed up until sunrise, talking. He wanted to be a doctor like his dad. He lived in a big house north of Seattle with his family. I found out that the only reason he escaped his house that evening was because he'd told his brothers about me, and they'd covered for him while he was with me. It meant, of course, that he had to leave in the morning in order to get home before his parents discovered he was missing, but I was happy he could come at all.
He returned again and again, coming to see me in the club each night and staying until sunrise the next morning. On the days that I didn't work, he'd come straight to my apartment.
He found out about my dreams, and from then on, refused to leave until I woke up again so he could make sure I was alright.
His brothers kept covering for him, though how they managed to explain his almost constant disappearances was beyond me. He was starting to stay entire days at my place. I realized that his parents probably knew he was spending his time with a girl.
One Saturday afternoon, my phone rang. He ignored it; it would go to the answering machine if I didn't pick up. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV while I napped with my head in his lap.
I didn't wake up to the sound, so the answering machine played its message and Lucille's voice floated out of the machine.
"Hey, Bella, I'm on my way out to the mall. If you want to come, call me back by 3. Otherwise, I'll see you later."
I woke up to the sound of a quiet, husky voice whispering in my ear. "Bella?"
I rubbed my eyes, rolled over to face him. He looked shocked. "Hmm? How did you figure it out?" I realized that I probably had some personalized notepaper or something around that he'd finally found. I blinked again and looked up at his face. There was definitely something going on. He looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I sat up, watching him with concern. "Is something wrong?"
"Edward," he blurted out. My heart just about stopped in my chest. "My name is Edward."
"Edward Masen..." I whispered, touching his face. How did I not see it before? Then I realized that I'd always expected to find them in Phoenix. "How did you get to Seattle?" I asked, still not quite believing it.
"We've been moving across the country, looking for all of the missing members of our family since Carlisle graduated and Esme was old enough to adopt. The only one we're missing is you..."
The breath was knocked out of me for a moment. "Wait a minute! You mean Alice and Emmett and Jasper and Rose and Nessie... they're all there too?!"
He nodded, smiling his lob-sided smile at me, and everything went black.
"Bella! Oh God, Bella! Wake up!" I could feel Edward's hands on my face. He kissed me quickly. "Please. Please wake up."
My eyes finally started to open, and I mumbled something that was supposed to be "I'm okay" but actually turned out to be a slur of incomprehensible sounds.
The relief on his face was obvious, and he swept me up into another kiss. When we parted, I'd regained most of the control of my limbs and my mouth, so I tried speaking again.
"Does this change things?" I asked quietly. I loved that we'd found each other, but I didn't know whether this meant our relationship would have to be different now that each knew who the other was.
He shook his head. "Not if you don't want it to."
I grinned, still feeling slightly silly and light-headed from my fainting spell. "Good, then take me back to bed, and then we can go see everyone."
He laughed, scooping me up off the couch and taking me back into the bedroom. "Your wish is my command, love."
"Love?" I asked when he dropped me onto the bed.
He stretched out next to me, grinning self-consciously. "Yes, love. I've been in love with you since I was about five years old."
I smiled giddily, rolling over to pin him to the bed. "That's sweet." I kissed him. "I love you too."
----------------
I was sitting on the floor, surprisingly nervous about going to meet my family. That's what they were to me; my family. All of them, not just Alice and Emmett. I was desperately trying to decide between two shirts.
Edward sat down behind me, pulling me up against his chest. "Why are you so worried? You know it won't make a difference whether you're wearing a paper bag or the finest labels." He paused. "Although, if you were to show up wearing a paper bag, Alice would insist on taking you shopping. Actually, she'd probably do that if you were wearing the wrong designer label." He paused again. "She'll probably take you shopping no matter what you wear. There's no way to avoid it."
I smiled, leaning back against him. "I hate shopping."
He hugged me tighter. "I know. You always have."
Edward's phone rang. He stood up to pick it up. "It's Esme," he said, looking at me.
I pulled one of the shirts on over my head, the first one that happened to end up in my hand. I snatched the phone away from him and put it on speaker, dropping it on my bed.
"Hello," Edward said, sitting down on the bed.
"Oh good, Edward! I've been worried. Emmett said you went out this morning to pick up some things, but it's almost dinner time and you're still out! Where are you?"
"I ran into a friend," Edward answered, grinning at me. He'd been at my place since late yesterday afternoon.
"Ah," said Esme knowingly. "Is it the girlfriend that you still think I don't know about?"
I buried my face in my pillow, trying to keep my laughing quiet.
Edward sighed, resigned. "How long have you known?"
"Emmett isn't that creative in coming up with excuses for you to be out all the time. He eventually told me that you were spending your time with your girlfriend. When do we get to meet her?"
"How about tonight? Can I bring her home for dinner?" Edward asked.
"Of course!" Esme exclaimed. There was a great deal of shuffling on the other end of the phone. "Carlisle! Get another steak out of the freezer, would you dear?"
"Good, we'll be there soon. You'll love her," Edward said, grinning at me.
"I'm very excited to finally meet her," Esme answered.
"Do you mind if I talk to Emmett for a minute?"
There was more shuffling on the other end of the phone. "Hello?" Emmett's deep voice rumbled.
"You told Esme I was spending my nights with a girl?" Edward asked.
"And your days. At least I didn't tell her that you're dating a stripper," Emmett retorted.
I couldn't help myself any longer, and a laugh escaped my throat, though it sounded more like a snort because I was trying so hard to hold it in.
"Is she there?!" Emmett demanded.
"Yes. The phone is on speaker," Edward admitted sheepishly. "Go get Jasper. I have something I want to say to the two of you."
There was a pause and then Jasper's voice could be heard. "Hi, Edward. Hi, mystery girlfriend."
"I'm bringing my girlfriend home for dinner tonight," Edward said. "You are in no way allowed to make fun of me for not recognizing her until now, because you didn't recognize her either. Especially you, Emmett."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Emmett demanded.
"See you later," Edward said, hanging up the phone and grinning.
"That was mean," I said, though in reality I found it all very amusing.
Edward shrugged. "I'm never going to hear the end of it for not recognizing you. I thought I might get some preemptive revenge." He got to his feet, took my hand, and kissed me thoroughly. "Time to bring you home."
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For now, this is a one shot. Might continue it later, if I feel like it :)