A Quiet Day.
Takes place after Episode 2.11, between Christmas and New Year's. Details a day in the life of CHUCK characters. No action, just "normalcy." My first fan fic.
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Saturday was an off-day for Chuck. Day's off were rare of late, considering he had two jobs – on-grid and off-grid -- to perform. No Buy More and no Casey/Sarah gave him a rare opportunity for some "Chuck time."
At first, he didn't know what to do with himself. He skimmed the LA Times, ate a bowl of cereal, and did a crossword puzzle. Once accomplished, he glanced at the clock, which read 9:15 am, indicating that he still had a full day ahead of him. He often wished for some down time, given how crazy his life had become, and now he was at a loss for how to use it.
Ellie and Awesome were on morning rounds, so he was alone in the apartment. He resolved that he'd get out and enjoy the day, which was unseasonably warm for late December: sunny in the low 70s. He packed a cooler with soda and a couple of beers, made a couple of quick sandwiches, and grabbed a book, his iphone, and an old guitar from his closet. He was going to head down to the beach and chill out for the day.
Sarah was up early. Rarely a morning person, she had decided to use her Saturday as productively as possible. She had gone for a morning run, worked the heavy bag a bit in her room, and showered and dressed – all by 9 am. She left her apartment and headed down to a local coffee shop for a light breakfast (fruit) and coffee. Like Chuck, Sarah enjoyed her rare days off. Lately, she had come to see them as a "training ground" of sorts. She had been living in LA for almost a year and a half now. That was the longest – by far – that she had lived in one location since her days in the academy. While she didn't view LA as "home" quite yet, she was comfortable there, and surprisingly comfortable in her assignment. She would not have believed it 18 months ago – she had always craved excitement and adventure in exotic locations, and the dangers of spy life thrilled her to no end. That was no longer true. Maybe it was because she was getting older, approaching 30 more quickly than she had come to realize. Maybe it was because of the new people in her life (well, ONE new person in particular). At any rate, weekends had become a way for Sarah to try her hand at living a "normal" life.
By her own admission, Sarah had never been normal. Her early years were spent running cons with her father, Jack. Her high school years were miserable, as she was treated as an outcast. And her "spy years" (the academy and field work) were well outside the mainstream. So learning to be normal was a challenge. She had little background to go on, outside of what she might see in movies and television. So, she decided to do some field work, and observe how other normal people spent their weekends. She would glance at people in coffee shops, watching how they spent their Saturday mornings. She would spend part of the day shopping, to see how people behaved in what she perceived to be a normal activity. She would linger in parks and public spaces, watching, listening, observing. Her main focus was always young couples, around her age. How did they talk? How did they laugh? How did they react – physically and emotionally – to one another?
She had come to crave a normal life. There was no epiphany; it has just snuck up on her over time. Spending time with Chuck and his family had exposed a hole in her life, one that she knew was there but typically ignored. Over the last decade, she was always able to patch that hole with a new near-death spy experience. An adrenaline rush was her salve. But she knew those days were over. In her more recent spy adventures in LA, she felt no "afterglow." Often, it was all she could do to keep from throwing up – especially if Chuck was harmed, even in the slightest way.
Chuck. Yes, Chuck had changed her life. Sarah smiled and shook her head. When she first met him, right after Bryce sent him the Intersect via email, she pegged him as a nice, geeky guy – but certainly not her type. After spending some time with him, she came to like and respect him. After more time, she came to have deeper feelings. She still wasn't sure what to make of those feelings, as she was a definite novice on the emotional front. She was sure she felt jealousy when other women (Lou and Jill) entered Chuck's life. But what did that mean exactly? She didn't like to think about the "L" word, as she had no experience with it. Yes, she had cared for Bryce, but whatever she was experiencing now blew those prior feelings (lust?) away. She only knew that Chuck wanted "normal"; that's what he told her so clearly that night by the fountain. So, without thinking much about it, she had gone into the field once again – in search of normal behavior. She was hoping to learn – and she would leave the "to what end" issue for another time.
On this day, she often glanced down at the charm bracelet Chuck had given her on Christmas Eve. It was the most special gift that she had ever received. She was stunned by the gift, frozen almost speechless as he explained its origins. She stammered out a protest – about it being a "real" gift that should be given to a "real" girlfriend – and he responded only with a shy "I know." Thankfully Chuck was then called away by the inept hostage-taker (little did we know!), as she had no clue how to react. All she knew was that she felt wonderful and afraid at the same time. The bracelet had given her new resolve; she wasn't sure exactly what her future might hold, but she was going to see it through. And that meant keeping Chuck safe and in her life. Later than night, she killed to protect him. She knew she crossed a professional line in doing so, and the initial shock she felt nearly overpowered her. When she saw him minutes later in the Buy More, she realized that she did the only thing she could have done – and she was comfortable with her decision. Her spy life, should the killing come back to haunt her, be damned.
Chuck had reacted oddly when she first approached him. He was stiff and had a hard time looking at her. She had initially thought it was simply his coping mechanisms kicking in – after all, he had just about been snatched up by Fulcrum and taken away forever. Later that night, and on Christmas morning, he had remained somewhat aloof. He had calmed a bit, but was noticeably cool to her. When she would try to touch him, he would shake slightly and betray a nervous smile. Clearly something was wrong, and she would have to discuss the issue with him. But she let it slide for the time being. He deserved some space. He had been through a lot.
It was now several days later, and Sarah was pretty certain that Chuck had been avoiding her. He hadn't popped into the Orange Orange during his lunch break, and he was short with her when she visited him in the Buy More. She liked to think she knew him well, but she was having a hard time deciphering this new mood. He wasn't angry with her, she was fairly certain of that. But there was something odd about his dodgy eyes and his slightly nervous disposition.
While Sarah didn't typically spend weekends with Chuck, unless they had a pre-arranged cover date, she wanted to see him today. Still, she hesitated calling him, worrying slightly about his recent behavior. "He deserves his day off," she thought. But after finishing her breakfast, and disposing with a guy trying to flirt with her in the coffee shop, she was determined to see Chuck. (Men hit on her a lot during her weekend forays into "normalcy." She was always flattered, especially as hooking up was the LAST thing on her mind. And sometimes she briefly flirted back – this was, after all, a "normal" trait she observed in other women during her field work – but made sure to nip the encounter in the bud and send her would-be suitors on their way. She always smiled to herself, knowing such flirting would drive Chuck up the wall.) First, though, she would call Casey and see if there were any "professional" updates she needed to be aware of.
Casey: "Casey, secure."
Walker: "Walker, secure. Hi, Casey. Just calling to see what's up. Anything I should know about?"
Casey: "No, all quiet here. Bartowski decided to change things up a bit. Instead of his normal weekend geek behavior, he headed down to the beach. I'm sitting in the van about a hundred yards from him right now."
Walker: "The beach?" She was amused. Chuck liked strolling on the beach at night sometimes, but she never took him for a weekend sunbather. "What's he doing there?"
Casey: "Seems to be playing a guitar, if you can believe it. Maybe channeling his inner Bob Freakin' Dylan."
Walker: "Interesting!" She saw an opportunity. "Do you need me to take over? I'm sure you don't want to spend your Saturday sitting in that van watching him."
Casey: "Grunt! And why would YOU be willing to take over? Surely you have better things to do on a Saturday than babysit that moron!"
Walker: "I don't mind." She was hoping to sound as innocent as possible. "I'm already out, and Chuck and I need to discuss some details about an upcoming cover date."
Casey: "Yeah, I'll bet." Silence for a moment. "Fine. But if something happens, you call me immediately!"
Walker: "Thank you, Casey." She knew that he sensed SOMETHING about the dynamic between Chuck and her. He had often teased her during Jill's reemergence into Chuck's life. But he'd been noticeably quiet of late. "I'll be in touch with an update later. Walker out."
Sarah smiled broadly. A day at the beach with Chuck! Now THAT was a fine example of what a normal couple might do on a Saturday! She wasn't sure what she'd say to Chuck, but thought it would be a good unobtrusive way for them to spend some time together. With that, she rushed home, picked up a few appropriate things for the beach, and sped off to relieve Casey.
Chuck was alone in his thoughts. He knocked back a soda, enjoyed a sandwich, and was strumming his guitar. The beach was pretty quiet this morning; many people were away for the holidays, and others were still sleeping late on the lazy Saturday morning. He was pleased with his time alone, and he allowed himself to ignore the angst of recent occurrences in his life. He was then dragged quickly back into reality.
Sarah: "Hi, stranger!"
Chuck reacted like he had been shot. He was daydreaming, his mind thousands of miles away. He looked up to see Sarah in an orange and white sundress. As always, she looked breathtaking. And she seemed quite happy to see him.
Chuck: "Uhhhh, hey Sarah." He was flustered, trying to figure out what to say next. "What's happening? Do you come to the beach often?" He cringed at his last statement.
Sarah: "No, but I talked to Casey, and he said you were down here. So I thought I'd join you. You don't mind, do yout?"
Chuck actually DID want some time alone, but he couldn't imagine hurting her feelings.
Chuck: "No, no, of course not."
Sarah: "Great!" She unfurled a beach towel, and put up an umbrella that she had brought along. "I like to get a little sun, but I burn easily."
They now sat side by side. Neither knew how to start the next conversation. Sarah decided to take the plunge.
Sarah: "I didn't know that you played the guitar!" Chuck looked down at the guitar in his hands. He had stopped playing when Sarah had arrived.
Chuck: "Oh, yeah, well … I play a little. I played quite a bit back at Stanford, but I haven't picked it up much since then. I thought I'd pull it out today and see what I could still do. I'm pretty rusty."
Sarah: "From what I heard walking up, it sounded pretty good." She was clearly smitten with this new piece of Chuck's world. He was so talented and could do so many things well.
Chuck: "Meh." He put the guitar down. "Not really. My best playing days are long past. This was just a way for me to reconnect with my previous life, I guess."
By "previous" she knew he meant "normal." They were silent for a moment.
Sarah: "Chuck, are you ok? You seem a little – I don't know – different lately."
Chuck: "Different? No, I'm fine." He shifted nervously. He really didn't want to talk about THAT stuff with here today. Still, he knew it would have to be dealt with sometime.
Sarah: "Well, if there's ever anything you want to talk to me about – you know I'm here, right?"
Chuck: "Sure, sure."
They sat in silence for a minute or two. Chuck looked at her and smiled shyly; she smiled widely at him in reply.
Chuck: "You know, you don't have to spend your day off with me. I'm fine. I'm sure you have plenty of better things to do with your Saturday."
She wanted to make a clear statement, but also wanted to avoid the hard emotional currency.
Sarah: "Chuck… there's no place I'd rather be."
She smiled, and he smiled back. They both looked down. "Why the hell is talking with him so awkward at times?" she thought. To take some pressure off, she performed a redirect.
Sarah: "Please don't mind me. Play your guitar, read your book, listen to music – we don't have to talk."
Chuck grinned. He wasn't sure he wanted Sarah's company today, but now that she was here, there was also nowhere else HE wanted to be.
Chuck: "Don't be silly! It's not often we have the chance to act like a normal couple. This isn't even a cover date!"
At that, she smiled again, keenly aware of the "normal" reference, and fingered her bracelet. He noticed, and smiled in response. They hadn't talked about that night – the bracelet, the shooting. Lots of emotions. Lots of uncertainty. He wasn't sure what he felt exactly – he was initially horrified by her, but after thinking about it some, he knew that she did it for a reason. Clearly there were events to which he wasn't privy. What made the most sense is that she did it for him – to keep him safe. And she lied because she knew he would be troubled by the killing. That he might blame himself. Or that he might see her differently. One thing he was sure of – he gave her that bracelet and nothing he saw that night made him want to take it back. He knew the goodness in her, even if events might make him suspect otherwise. She was a player in a dangerous game, entrusted to protect him against the most evil of people. She needed to do things that would shock a normal person. And she had to live with herself afterward, with few people to confide in. He often looked at her with sadness – she gave so much and asked for so little in return.
Chuck: "Do you like the bracelet?"
Sarah: "Very much." She chose her words carefully. "It's very, very special to me. I .. I'm not sure I'm worthy of it."
Chuck: "Well, there's no one else I can ever imagine giving it to."
Her heart skipped. She looked down and smiled. She clearly had few defenses against him, and while this bothered her before, she welcomed these odd sensations now.
They sat in a happy silence for a bit. After exchanging a bit of small talk about the weather and some other beach-goers, Chuck steered the conversation back to the bracelet.
Chuck: "You know, I don't have all the answers. I know our … situation … is unorthodox. I know I have professional value, as an asset, and you have professional responsibilities as my handler. I know we have to act as a couple as cover. But I know there's something more there … and I know we can't easily talk about it. I just want you to know how much you mean to me – and that's what the bracelet represents."
Sarah took a deep breath. She wasn't sure what to say in response. But she decided to speak from the heart.
Sarah: "You know I'm not good with relationships – I told you that before. I don't know … how to express myself and my feelings. And, yes, I do take my professional responsibilities very seriously. But, I do want you to know that receiving this bracelet means the world to me. This is now my most cherished possession. And I can't … I can't imagine my life without you in it."
She glanced down again, shuddering with emotion. She quickly regained her composure and continued.
Sarah: "And I meant what I said – I will never let anyone hurt you."
Chuck: "I know." And that statement scared him. Still, he couldn't bring himself to tell her why.
Feeling emotionally exposed, Sarah gave herself a path to escape.
Sarah: "You know, I'll never be normal, right? I could try to be, but I've done things in my life that make that impossible. I don't want to fool you into believing otherwise."
He looked at her with affection and sympathy.
Chuck: "Yeah, I know that you aren't exactly normal. But, you know what, how many normal guys do you know with an Intersect swimming around in their heads?" He chuckled. "And for most of the last year and a half, I've been regretting opening that email from Byrce. Because my world has been turned upside down."
She looked at him intently. What was he trying to say?
Chuck: "But if I had never received the Intersect, I would have never met you."
She smiled and shook her head. Did he really think SHE was worth all the misery – and near-death experiences – he suffered because of the Intersect?
Chuck: "How about this? How about we just see where this thing goes? I think you know how I feel about you. I think I know how you feel about me. I think we both have trouble actually SAYING some of the words right now. And there are obstacles aplenty that we probably don't know how we're going to deal with. But we maybe can agree that we'll face things together?"
Still smiling, Sarah nodded.
Sarah: "That sounds good to me. And I would add that I'd like to increase our number of cover dates, if you don't mind. That's what a normal couple would do at this stage of our relationship!"
This made him smile devilishly.
Chuck: "Really? And what else might a normal couple at our relationship stage be doing?"
Sarah: "Laughing Don't get ahead of yourself! That's one tactical obstacle I'll need to figure out first! We don't want to give Casey a heart attack!"
They then sat back and held hands. The emotional dancing had paid off. They had progressed, and both seemed content for the day. While they were in uncharted territory, they had decided to make the journey together.