So after watching the season premier, this idea popped into my head. I hadn't realized it had been so long since I last published. I apologize to my readers and assure you that, for those still interested, I will resume "In your hands" shortly and will finish it. I don't know if this should stay as a one shot or if I should elaborate. It could go either way.

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A week ago, it was "mass spectrometer". I couldn't remember the term if my life depended on it. Had it not been for Kent filling in the term when my mind had gone completely blank, I'd probably still be trying to figure it out. That was one week ago. Now here I am, waiting impatiently in the neurologist's office. I hate fidgeting, and now it is on full display. Though I have had plenty of scares in the last few years, with the kidnapping and Jane's close calls being at the forefront of my mind, I have never felt this kind of fear. Part of me feels it is irrational to even entertain the possibility of losing such a major part of me. If there has ever been a constant in my life, it has been knowledge. I've always been able to lean on it, expand it. I thrive on it, and can never get enough. The last week, I have felt that slowly slip away, and it's taken me all the resolve I have to not break down. Not yet.

"Dr. Isles?"

I turn at the sound of my name and see the older woman looking back at me, an odd look on her face. "Yes?"

"Are you alright?" Worry. I hear it in her tone.

"I'm fine doctor, why do you ask?"

"I've been calling your name for over one minute," she replies.

"My apologies," I say immediately. "I was must have been distracted."

"Maura," she begins. I hear her tone again. This isn't good news. "I got the results of your repeat CT."

I see her mouth moving but I can't make out what she's saying. After a few moments, I see her mouth stop moving, her eyes on me.

"I'm sorry doctor," I say as I try to clear my head. "What did you say?"

"The results of your repeat CT scan showed a recurrence of the subdural hematoma. I'm afraid that the bleed is substantially larger than the previous CT."

I feel a shortness of breath and I'm struggling to understand what she is telling me. A recurrence. A brain bleed. A brain bleed larger than the previous one. What is going to happen to me? I should know this. I do know this. Why can't I remember?

"What is your prognosis? What can I expect?" All emotion has escaped me.

"I've spoken to one of our neurosurgeons and the prognosis is good. While this is a large hematoma, it can be repaired via a craniotomy."

Surgery. I needed surgery. The look on her face told me there was no other option. She must have sensed my hesitation.

"I know this is not easy to hear and it is a difficult decision to make. I believe a craniotomy is your best option. Symptoms of a hematoma of this size can have serious consequences. Not only will this affect your thought and memory process, but it also affects your movement, personality, attention span, and judgment amongst other things. You came back because you were having symptoms, yes?"

I nodded. "I am having trouble remembering things. Words. Appointments. Little things."

The doctor nodded. "Maura, this is just the beginning. We caught this early and it can be fixed. No surgery comes without risks, but believe me when I tell you that the benefits of you having this procedure far outweigh the risks.

My mind feels boggled, as if it isn't able to handle so much information. I feel a pounding headache take over my thoughts.

"Is someone here with you?"

I shake my head slightly. "I came alone."

"Is there someone you would like me to call?"

My thoughts instantly go to her. Jane. I need Jane.