Then
Chapter One: Prologue
Then she'd felt so empty, her heart was just a labyrinth of lonely corridors, all twisted and lost.
She'd known for months really, the headaches, the insomnia, but once you tell yourself a lie so many times, you start to believe it, and the walls of her home were painted with sticky lies, all sugar-coated in excuses. Silly excuses.
But excuses never last long.
And when the truth burnt a hole through her tangle of lies, she wasn't shocked. She wasn't sad. She was empty. Fire seared through her lungs, blood poured from her chest, her mouth, her ears, her nose, her eyes, it was everywhere. But she couldn't see it, and the more she tried to stop the bleeding, the worse it got.
Then she'd felt so alone, she wished she was invisible.
Not even the wrinkled doctor who rubbed her back and gave her coffee could stop the bleeding. Because he couldn't see it either. But it was there. The sand-timer had turned, and was wasting minutes away as seconds. Every moment was numbered.
Going home was torture. She'd called John to drive her but didn't tell him the truth. Instead, pushing her shoulders back and brushing it off as 'just another check-up.' He was so engrossed in talking about his new daughter, he barely even glanced at her. He didn't notice how she closed her eyes when he looked at the road. He didn't notice the bruises of exhaustion scaring her pale face. He just played along. Ignorant.
Alone at home, the bleeding grew so much stronger.
She shivered and sobbed.
She bit her nails.
She pulled her hair.
There was crimson on the carpet.
Crimson on the doors.
The lies smearing the walls melted. Questions rattled her skull like bullets, lines creased her forehead.
And still she lied.
Because when you tell yourself a lie so many times, you start to believe it.
So she sat in her stuffy living room with Toby, watching time slip through her watery grip and breathing in the stuffy smell of home.
Then she'd felt so empty, she bled to feel alive.
And she swore that no one would know.
Not now.
Not ever.
Authors Note:
So this is a rewrite of my story: 'If you had Nine Months,' because I did that thing where you look back at some of your old stuff and want to rip your hair out because it's just so bad! But I still liked the general story line, so this will include bits from the other story, and new bits too. Sorry it's so short and it might not make much sense, but other chapters will be a lot longer, and will make more sense. JI don't know if I'll carry this on, because I'm lazy, but anyways…
Review?
Pleeeeeease J
(I don't own Sherlock or any of the characters. If I did, then season 4 would be out tomorrow.)