Summary: It's been six months since Edward left, and neither of them can take the pain of separation anymore. Edward comes back to beg for her forgiveness, but Bella has plans of her own. Will he get back in time? Will she take him back? And what does Charlie have up his sleeve? He has his own opinions about Edward, and is determined to make Bella see things his way, no matter what the price.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. There, did I really need to say it? I don't own "My Immortal" by Evanescence either. Big Surprise there.
CH. 1-Sealed With a Kiss
Bella's POV
My alarm clock went off waking me up to face another day of Hell. Instead of the annoying buzzing sound, though, the radio played. How had that happened? It must've been when I knocked it off the side table this morning. I hadn't listened to music since Edward left. It still hurt to even think his name. As I listened to the lyrics, I found them to be very fitting. Even the title fit: My Immortal. Only he wasn't mine anymore. I felt tears beginning to roll down my cheeks.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
I can still remember the day when Renée had come to Forks to take me back to Florida. Ha, that didn't go over well. I had adamantly refused to go, and when she asked why, I told her that I wanted to stay with my friends. I was a terrible liar, and I'm sure that she saw right through me, but she backed down all the same. I hadn't talked to them—my friends, that is—in months. The real reason was because I was terrified that the second I left, he would come back for me. Wishful thinking, wasn't it? He wasn't coming back.
I didn't want to live anymore with only faint memories of him. My heart is tormented by memories of what used to be every second of every day. I wanted him, but that wasn't going to happen. He didn't love me anymore.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Oh, how true. The pain that tore through my body every time I thought of him would never fade away; I don't care what he said. No amount of time could ever make me forget him. I would always love him.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
These words were right, but vice versa. Edward had always done that for me. He'd risk his life time and time again to keep me safe. I could almost feel the chilly tenderness of his gentle touch on my face. How I wished that he was here to hold my hand for years to come. I would always be his, whether he wanted me or not.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me
He always did captivate me whenever he stepped into the sun. I would never forget the way his skin sparkled. Why did he have to leave this life behind? Right, he didn't love me anymore. His face haunted my dreams, day and night, but I'm not complaining. Illusions are better than nothing. If only I had the real thing again. I hear his voice in my head. Does that make me insane?
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I would always love him.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
My life—mind, body, and soul—would always belong to Edward.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
I have tried to tell myself that you're gone, Edward, but I can't let you go. How am I supposed to get over you when you're always in my head? I don't want to be alone anymore.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I just can't function, Edward, without you.
The song drifted to a close, and I realized I was sobbing. It fit so perfectly! I wanted more than his presence to linger; I wanted him! This brought me back into reality. Edward was gone, and he wasn't coming back. The wave of pain at this realization hit me harder than when he left, harder than anything I'd felt for the past six months. I had always fooled myself into thinking that he might come back for me, but now I knew that there was no possibility whatsoever—none. He wasn't coming back. I couldn't live without him, and I wouldn't—not anymore.
As I contemplated ways to end my sorry excuse for a life, I decided that I at least wanted Charlie to know how much I loved and appreciated him, so I went downstairs to make dinner, something I hadn't done in, well, let's just say a really long time. At least I knew Charlie could still fend for himself.
I thought about stabbing myself, but decided that it was too messy. So was a gunshot, so that option was out. As I simmered the chicken, I decided that an overdose would be the best way to go. But before I took my life, I wanted to tweak the song I heard on the radio this morning and dedicate it to my immortal love.
Charlie seemed surprised that dinner awaited him on the table when he got home from the station. We ate mostly in a silence that was broken only a few times by Charlie's attempts at small talk. After we both had finished, I cleared the table and washed the dishes. Charlie went in to watch a game. He appeared happy that I seemed to be coming out of my depression. If only he knew. No, actually, it was better that he didn't—a lot better.
Before heading upstairs, I went and kissed Charlie on the cheek and told him that I loved him. This was the most emotion I had shown in ages. His reaction to dinner was nothing compared to what it was now. He looked stunned and answered with an "I love you, too, Bells."
When I was halfway up the stairs, I could feel his eyes on my back, staring at me in awe, no doubt, so I turned around and forced a smile at him. It was for the last time, though he didn't know it. I turned away and walked the rest of the way up into my room. When I sat down at my desk, I pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. I wrote the song as it was supposed to be, but changed the third verse to:
When I cried you'd kiss away all of my tears
When I'd scream you'd fight away all of my fears
Wish you'd held my hand for many more years
And you still have all of me
I replaced the original verse with mine whenever it appeared. I folded the paper and slid it into an envelope sealing it with a kiss.
I went to bed and waited for morning. I'd wait for Charlie to be gone so that I could finally end the pain. I felt better already.
Sun streamed through my window when I woke up from my dreams of Edward. The sun was dawning on a new day, but setting on my life. I smiled knowing it would soon be over.
I got out of bed and downloaded the song off of the Internet and began to sing along as I changed into the blue blouse and jeans that Edward had complimented me on oh so long ago. I glanced in the mirror, though not really caring about the train-wreck that looked back at me. I picked up Edward's note and then walked across the hall into the bathroom leaving "My Immortal" playing loud enough to hear in the other room.
A/N: I hope you liked it. I know the beginning's cliche, but it gets better, I promise. I had to start somewhere. Please review. I know you read that a lot, but this is the first story I've put online, and I'd like to know how it's received.