Disclaimer: I don't own anything in Sousei no Onmyouji/Twin Star Exorcists except for Rokuro's A.E.
Chapter 1- Redemption
I woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat, those memories of last year haven't left my mind, and to this day, I cursed myself for being weak. It's been a year since I lost most of those close to me, and most of my original right arm, I gave up on exorcism that night, but after a year, I decided to finally stop running from it. Deep down, I know my friends who had died wouldn't have wanted me to stop being an Exorcist, but I refuse to let the others know that I want to go back to becoming an Exorcist, nor do I want to be acknowledged again yet; I plan to work alone this time.
That's it! I'll be like an Exorcist superhero! I can have a secret identity, I'll be trying to not be an Exorcist as my original persona, and when I want to help, I can leave and help as my vigilante persona! But how should I conceal my identity? Maybe my red hoodie and jeans will do, I might need a voice changer to disguise my voice; but what kind of mask should I use? I turned on the light and looked in my closet and found a black emergency gas mask with a tightening strap in a box, probably not my ideal mask to wear for my vigilante uniform, but it'll have to do. I tried on the mask, it was a bit big for me, but I'll grow into it soon, hopefully.
I removed it and put it back in its box; I would need something to hold this mask, whenever I'm out; and I might need a black hoodie that I only wear as my vigilante self so it wouldn't be part of a dead giveaway.
I should also go back to sword training, and actually buy a voice changer, but the others must not know of it. Where should I hide those though? Oh! Maybe my backpack, I'll hide them there.
Okay, I might need a name, but I'll come up with one later; tomorrow, I'll buy a black hoodie and a voice changer, and ask Jii-sama to train me to sword fight. All I know, is that I shall return as a Lone Wolf Kegare Assassin that will cleanse all of the Sins and Kegare, it was my original goal, but I now return doing this goal with another purpose for doing so, and that's to help those in need, and prevent a tragedy that actually was caused by Kegare from Magano. Wait, that could be it! Kegare no Asashin, that'll be what I'm called. I turned off the light and went back to sleep, I have a big day tomorrow.
Chapter 2-Preparation
I woke up at possibly noon or a bit later than that, I didn't check my clocks, but I stood up and got ready. I changed my clothes, matted down my hair, and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face.
I only have ¥18,000 at the moment, and it's best I save up a bit more for the black hoodie and voice changer.
I'll have a bit more allowance next week, but until then, I must train again; my moves are still amateur and possibly rusty, considering how I haven't trained a whole year. To top it all off, I can only use one charm, unlike Ryogo, who can use two. I should also start to train using a sword, considering how I only used a knife back then.
Well, I might be able to train my body by myself, such as doing exercises, but I'll need to be taught sword training, and I need to spar with someone in order to be better at my hand to hand combat.
I had decided last night that I would ask Jii-sama to train me. I chose to tell him since I can't tell Ryogo; although he might be able to train me, there's the chance that he might expose me, plus he'll be busy with missions. Atsushi and Shinosuke don't even know that I used to be an Exorcist, so they're gonna be no help. If Seigen was here, I probably would ask, but there's a possibility that he might also beat me in the process. You know what? I'm fine, I don't really want Spartan training anytime soon. I sighed, I guess I really do have no other choice but to ask Jii-sama, at least he's great at keeping secrets, considering he's kept ... that secret so long, so far.
I went to the kitchen to eat breakfast, which tasted a bit funny until the aftertaste since I brushed my teeth. I continued to eat, and when I finished, I placed it in the sink and headed to go speak to Jii-sama.
"Jii-sama?" I asked as I got his attention.
"Hm? Yes Rokuro?" he asked as he turned his head to face me.
I explained to him how I wanted to be an Exorcist again, but instead of working with the team, I go on secret missions alone as an alter ego, and would help out the others if they're in a bind, and in order to do so, I want him to train me sword and hand to hand combat.
The old man was silent and looked surprised as well, he's been silent for a while after; I then assumed he was thinking, and waited for an answer.
"Although I am happy that you want to help out, but what exactly made you want to be an Exorcist again, Rokuro?" He asked me.
I knew he was going to ask, but luckily I have a good answer that I mean.
"I do admit, what happened that day still haunts me, but ..." I stopped to calm myself before I continued to speak. "I know they wouldn't have wanted that, or that I had quit and continued to run from that memory rather than facing it."
"Are you certain with the choice you made?" He asked.
"I ..." I started but stopped, for some reason, even though I am choosing to do this, there is a part of me that is filled with doubt; like I am making a choice that I will regret, and the memories of that day were heard in my head, but they were dark, and filled with anger. The last time I heard them, I woke up and was so mad at myself, I punched my right hand and damaged the fingers of that hand. I found out then that I'm actually worried and scared, worried and scared that I might fail again or be frozen in place the moment I see a Kegare and it attacks me or the client.
"It is alright if you need time," Jii-sama said with assurance.
"I will do this, part of me might be saying no, but I will do it; and as an Exorcist, I'll protect people and prevent a tragedy that would be caused by Kegare."
Jii-sama stared at me and was silent again, I decided to go since waiting for an answer was starting to bug me.
"Wait, Rokuro," the old man said and got my attention.
"Yes, Jii-sama?" I asked as I looked at him.
"If you really want to help out as some alter ego but don't want to expose yourself, don't act as yourself when fighting," he said.
Don't act as myself? So do I act differently compared to how I usually am to not give myself away? Or do I have to be very careful with what I say and do when around others? I should probably do both of those, now that I think about it. I looked at him with a serious face and nodded in understanding.
"Also, if you don't want people to recognize your voice, try not to speak or learn to change your voice," he said seriously.
"I'm already saving to buy a voice changer!" I snapped with a sigh.
"Then you better find one that changes your voice completely and would last, it won't be cheap," he said.
"I know," I replied, the one I found that was great costed ¥13,000, but I also have to buy that hoodie.
"Also, have you decided on your costume?" He asked with a goofy expression.
"I chose to wear the gas mask as well as a black hoodie I plan to buy as well," I told him.
"Well, as you already know, you must earn your allowance like always."
I sighed once again and thought to myself, "This is gonna a long year."
I saw him stand up and heard him say, "I will train you tonight while the others are asleep, I might not have as much stamina and strength to spar with you, so you'll have to use the punching bag; before you have to do your chores, I need you to work on your strength and speed, lifting weights and jogging will help, riding your bike has its advantages, and not to mention you have school, continue doing good, and take advantage of your physical education class," he looked at me and asked, "Do you understand?"
I nodded in response and I thought to myself, "But a year might be enough to help Kegare no Asashin become strong enough to help out others, plus, he'll be stronger than I currently am."
Thinking about it, I considered it weird that I referred to my Alter Ego as a different person, well, in a way, he is, but I shouldn't do that unless someone was talking to me about him. After I put that thought aside, I decided that I should take a jog, it was Sunday, so I went to put on my running shorts and a white t-shirt and headed out.
Chapter 3-Split
I was about to leave to go jogging until I turned around to get a cold bottle of water; it would've been bad if I left without one. As I was about to head off, now with bottle in hand; I stopped when Ryogo and the others entered the house.
"Mission complete," Atsushi said triumphantly.
"Really?" I asked.
Ryogo nodded with a kind smile before asking, "Want to join us next time?"
I denied his offer, but how I sounded when I said it was colder than intended. Maybe that's how I'll play it off like this; I decline whenever I'm asked while I act completely uninterested like I did before. I should also try doing something else to make it the perfect double life situation, maybe ... I should be a comedian! Rokuro Enmado, a comedian who brings laughter throughout Japan and a secret Exorcist. Perfect, I'll make up some jokes as I jog. Though my train of thought was stopped abruptly when Ryogo got my attention.
"Rokuro, we're gonna have steak with a side of takoyaki and we're almost out of soy sauce," he started, but I had already assumed what he was going to ask.
"Sure, I'll buy soy sauce," I said.
Ryogo gave me ¥780 in case I accidentally lose the first one on my way home, though I wonder how I could, oh well, I'll just jog there and back, or sprint today and jog the other times.
I left Seika, and when I was a few feet away, I stopped and did some simple stretches in order to not pull a muscle or get cramps before I started to run. As I was running, I moved every time someone was in front of me, not only that, but my pace of breath was quicker, my heart was pounding in my chest, my face, neck, and torso started to feel moist from sweat, and my lungs felt like they were burning from a non-existent flame.
Eventually, I made it to the store, I crouched slightly with my hands above my kneecaps as I was panting and catching my breath. I don't know how fast I was going or how long it took me, but I was out of breath overall.
After a few minutes of just standing there and panting, I stood up completely and drank some of my water. I entered the store with a expression I felt was a calm one, and I checked the shelves to find the brand of soy sauce we usually buy.
The store was small and had shelves filled with a variety of spices, chips, bottles of soda, sauces, sake, water of different brands, and a vendor of specific meats and some ingredients for side dishes. I walked to the shelf that had the sauces, and got the one that we usually use before going to one of the clerks.
He scanned it before placing it in a bag and said, "That will be ¥390."
I gave him the change and left with the bag, this time, instead of sprinting, I jogged back home, I should've paced myself when I got to the store, but I must train myself more to build myself to be faster, stronger, and more agile.
When I returned back home to Seika, I saw that Ryogo was already preparing dinner, so I just walked up to him and gave him the soy sauce and the extra ¥390 he gave me.
"Thank you," he said before taking the soy sauce out of the bag and used it on the takoyaki.
The takoyaki was smelling good so far, I was able to smell the aroma as I was entering, and I now looked forward to dinner.
"Rokuro?" Ryogo asked as he got my attention.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Why are you sweaty?" He asked with a tone of puzzlement.
I lied by saying, "Oh, I saw Kaito on the way there and he asked me to race with him."
"How did it go?" he asked, and I was able to tell that he bought it.
"Well ... I lost," I said with a tone of sadness, then I said with shock and disbelief, "I was sure that I was going to win, but he caught up to me!"
"Well, you should try harder next time," Ryogo said.
"You're not helping!" I almost shouted and used a tone of actual anger.
This really can actually be part of how I am when I'm myself and not Kegare no Asashin; and I already came up with what I want to try to achieve that isn't an Exorcist. I might not be entirely ... good, but it doesn't hurt to try.
I ended up saying with anger and determination, "Someday, I will be a Stand-up Comedian and will bring laughter throughout all of Japan!"
"Really?" Asked Ryogo, "Well, good luck with that, but in my opinion, I still think you should be an Exorcist."
"No! Never again! I gave up on it when that day happened," I said with a raised voice, my voice was filled with anger and inside, I felt actual anger and hurt.
"Rokuro, I know how you f-" he started, but you cut off.
"No you don't!" At that point, my fists were clenched and I felt tears down my face. "You don't know anything about how I feel."
I ran to my room and fought the urge to slam the door, as I sat beside my futon, I started to question myself. Am I really doing the right thing? Is it right for me to want to live a double life as an Exorcist who has determination to wipe out all the Kegare and still act as though I want nothing to do with Exorcism but instead be interested in other things?
I looked at the palm of my right hand before I closed and clenched it; I know I can't atone for the sins I committed that night, but I know they would've wanted it. The memories of that night still haunt me in my dreams, but ever sense yesterday, when I went back to sleep, it felt as though it receded a bit. I swore to carry on for their sake, and I will fight again.
I stood up and wiped my tears with my sleeve, then I left my room and went to the kitchen to eat dinner with the others.