A/N: Hello darlings! So I wrote this back in 2003 (five years ago! it doesn't seem that long!), when I was a huge fan of All My Children. This was in the middle of the Michael Cambias murders, who Kendall had been accused of murdering. There was a character named Boyd, who was written off later that year, that had been helping Kendall during the trial. I always thought they'd make a very nice couple, and this story was the result. Please leave a review, constructive criticism makes my day!
Also, the rating is high, just to be safe.
Disclaimer: I do not own All My Children. Song lyrics are from the song "The Safest Place," by Leanne Rimes, which I also do not own.
Daytime, I'm fine
Everything is back to normal
Kendall Hart watched as the door slammed shut. Her mother, Erica Caine, had once again thrown her away like last years fashions in the back of the closet. She struggled to keep her face blank and void of emotion as the older woman peaked back through the window. Letting her mother know that her words had hurt, that she'd gotten to her, was the last thing she needed. Of course she longed for her mother's love- she would do any for it. But Erica refused to listen, chose to ignore and berate her, and rub in her face how Bianca was everything that Kendall wasn't.
It was an everyday thing now. Kendall would show off the glitzy diamond ring that her "husband" Michael Cambias cave her. Erica would tell Kendall how she tormented Bianca by making a spectacle of herself and her marriage to her sister's rapist. Then, Kendall would throw in some jabs about owning Chandler Enterprises, Fusion, and Enchantment. Her mother would drone about Kendall's greed. Soon, Erica would grow tired of her scream-fest and walk out, looking for Ryan Lavery, Kendall's ex-fiancé, to help destroy her forgotten child.
All the while, Kendall's face moved only to display rehearsed emotions. It showed joy when she showed off her wedding band, and anger when her mother accused her of greed. Long years spent in an unhappy home had taught her how to act the part. The true emotions were hidden deep underneath, within the core of her soul. She longed to be able to show Bianca how much she wanted to be there, to be a part of her life, and support her through the tragedy of her rape. She wanted to show her mother how much she loved her.
Last night I thought that I would die
Sitting down on the sofa in her condo, she sipped from a cup of tea that she'd left on the counter when Erica came. It was cold. Putting it down on the coffee table, she allwed memories of past happiness to fall upon her.
She remembered a time when things were looking up. She and Ryan were planning to be married, the dress had been chosen, the location booked. Then he walked in on her and Aiden Devane. He left that night on his motorcycle, not even giving her a chance to explain. She shuddered, feeling once again, the rain the night had poured down her. Oh yes, she'd convinced herself she never loved him, but a little voice inside her chided her constantly.
True love comes only once in a lifetime, and you, Kendall Hart, blew it.
Aiden had cared. He truly loved her. Time and again he told her so. But her intense lust for her mother's acceptance had driven him away as well. She'd told him so many lies- about Cambias, about Vegas, about her feelings towards him.
Then Ryan returned, and her old feelings came with him. She put Aiden on temporary hiatus. She had to prove to herself she was over Ryan. She thought she was, until they made love on the roof of the Fusion building.
Greenlee saw, and told Mia, who saw her opportunity to move in. She threw herself at Aiden, who caught her with open arms. Kendall knew that when he didn't come to see her released from prison, something was truly was wrong. When she walked in on Mia and Aiden in bed, and the Irish man promised her friendship, she felt a little piece of her die again.
Another encounter with Ryan on Christmas brought hope, but the minute Greenlee needed rescuing from Argentinean terrorists, he was out the door. Then Boyd Laraby and Aiden came rushing in to discuss the pastor and witnesses from the faux Vegas wedding.
She always picked the lousy men to love. Or maybe she was just lousy at loving others. Either way, she didn't see life being worth living without love. Lost in her thoughts, she finally fell asleep sprawled across the couch.
I had nightmares
I was so scared
He was back. God knows how it was possible, but he was. There was one thing he was after: the woman who murdered him to spare her sister's agony.
Michael Cambais wasn't dead. Nothing brought down the Cambias line- at least, his part. His father had been week, as had his brother. They'd allowed themselves to love, which proved to be their downfall. He knew what it took to dominate. Steal, pillage, lie, and take what you want. Sure it sounded like a pirates credo, but in a modern business, piracy had it's own applications. As long as it led to money, power and prestige, there was no wrong.
Kendall had come to him willingly the first time. But times had changed. She'd discovered the true man underneath. She was no longer interested in hurting her mother and getting revenge. She wanted love.
He wouldn't let her find it. Oh no, not after she took his companies, and his money, and had her friends toss his body in a dumpster. She would feel more pain than her sister ever did. He would scar her.
Michael entered the house with the spare key she kept inside the porch light. She watched TV, allowing herself a rare escape from real life. He came up behind the poor, unsuspecting girl, and pushed her on the floor.
"What's going on!?" she cried, not knowing who was behind her.
He rounded the couch, and flipped her over onto her back. She screamed, and he slapped her across the face. She shut her eyes tightly, and allowed her fists to punch him, but it was no use. She felt blood coming from where her nails had dug into her palms. Everything hurt, and there was a knock on the door, becoming more frantic as the person realized what was going on.
There was no one to help her. This was what Cambias wanted.
Thank god that you were by my side
To hold me when I cried
I wanna be strong
But I don't wanna be alone tonight
"C'mon Kendall! Open up!" Boyd hollered as he pounded on the door. He was grateful that none of her neighbors came out to find the source of the racket. He wondered if she was even home. Remembering the day they took out Cambias, he found the key to her front door was still in the light. As she'd given him permission to use it, he unlocked the door and entered.
The lights were dimmed, the TV was off. "Kendall!" he shouted. "We need to talk. It's about Cambi—"
"Go away!" a hoarse voice screamed shrilly from behind the sofa. "Please, not again!"
"Kendall?" Boyd hurried over to the sofa, and saw Kendall was using her feet to push herself into the corner of the cushions.
"Leave me alone! Why do you hate us all? You're supposed to be dead!"
Sitting on the opposite edge of the couch, he pulled Kendall to him, gently waking her from her nightmare. She looked up at him, eyes shiny with tears. She began sobbing, realizing she was safe and remembering the horrors that her mind had subjected her to.
Internally, Kendall was trying to hold back her tears. He couldn't see her cry. She was soulless. She felt no emotion. Letting her guard down would hurt her even more.
"Don't fight it Kendall," Boyd whispered softly, as she struggled. "Not everyone is against you. You don't have to hide forever."
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I'm only human
And you have a hero's face
His words broke all barriers within her. "This… this wasn't supposed to happen. Michael is dead. He's not supposed to be back. It should have ended that night, for all of us," she sobbed. "It did. Sure, everyone things about the case, and wonders who killed him. But he's not haunting them, he's not even haunting Bianca. He's after me again. I took his attention from Bianca, and now he wants to hurt me."
Boyd moved closer to her, and she struggled backwards, not entirely trusting her perception. Her dream had been so real. What if this was really Michael, and her desire to see a caring face was blurring the evil into good?
"Kendall, please trust me. You're only human. You can't tackle the whole world by yourself. It'll kill you. Let me help you face the pain," he gently encouraged. Boyd wasn't entirely sure this was the best way to go about helping her, he was a chem geek- he was good with formulas not people.
Slowly, she moved towards him, and wrapped her arms around him. It was the most trusting, most innocent gesture he'd seen. One woman, alone in the world, was opening herself up to him. "My hero," she whispered back.
And right here in your arms is the safest place
He held her close, letting her cry, hoping that she knew Michael would never harm her as long as he was there.
It feels so real
You showed me I could trust you
With emotions I had locked away
The embrace ended as swiftly as it began. Boyd stood, and walked to the kitchen. As the moments passed, Kendall worried that she'd been abandoned yet again. She stood to follow him, only to see him returning from the kitchen with a glass of water. "I thought this might help calm you down," he said, his cheeks slightly red in embarrassment.
She accepted the water silently, knowing that he knew she was grateful for everything. She placed it on the maple-wood coffee table, not caring if a water ring appeared tomorrow morning.
"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" he asked.
Slowly she related the story. "He took the key. The one you used to get in. He came inside, and shoved me on the loor. I didn't know what was happening. Then… oh my God Boyd, I couldn't understand what Bianca went through until that moment. He hurt me so badly, and it was only a dream. How could my mother, my sister face this with courage in real life, when I couldn't handle a dream? I can still… I can still feel him on me. It hurt so horribly…" She trailed off, letting tears flow again. This time she allowed Boyd to hold her without protest.
It was your touch, your word
That healed the deepest part of me
That only you could see
Boyd tightened his grip around her waist, wanting to kill Michael Cambias again, except this time a slower, more painful death that would punish him for causing Kendall so much grief. They knew going into the situation that killing the most hated man in Pine Valley would cause them many hardships. They knew they would lose friends and family, that people would turn their backs on them.
Kendall acted as if she didn't care, like she didn't need anyone. All she wanted was her sister's sick and twisted rapist dead. It didn't take them long to accomplish what the police would consider a nefarious deed, but anyone in town would call a justifiable murder. They had held the gun and pulled the trigger together. Boyd aided her in disposing of the body in the abandoned meat locker, and it was he who helped her buy the building before it was demolished.
She didn't' show fear through the entire process. He knew, of course, that sooner or later it would shine through. But never did he think it would be like this.
He felt his shirt becoming damp with tears, violent sobs shaking her tin frame. He pulled her closer, wanting to take away her pain. Shirts could be dried in a matter of minutes, scars and nightmares could take a lifetime to heal.
As long as I am with you
As long as I can feel you
That's all I need to keep me going
On and on and on and on
"Kendall," he said, pulling her away from the world where Michael had returned. "He's dead. He's not coming back. If there's one thing in this world I can promise you, it is that. He won't be here tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after that. Only me. I'll be here as long as you need me. I promise."
Kendall let his words settle into her brain. She pushed away the nightmare to think about the present.
Boyd had always liked her. She'd thought it was a childhood crush, one last remnant of a time before he was a genius chemist. She'd ignored his feelings, keeping him a friend. Meanwhile she'd given her love and devotion to Ryan, Aiden, and even Michael for a short time. For a short time, she'd been able to feel, able to let herself go. Then it failed.
Boyd never left her side.
Sure, he wasn't a bad boy millionaire who'd ditched his daddy to take over the companies of Pine Valley. He didn't have washboard abs, a motorcycle, a twenty-caret smile and a super-inflated ego. And he certainly wasn't a super secret agent-protector-hunky Irish heartthrob.
He was intelligent, loving, trustworthy Boyd, who would give his life for hers. And, Kendall realized in that brief moment she had before the memories of her nightmare returned, that she would do the same form him.
I wanna be strong
But I don't wanna be alone tonight
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I'm only human
And you have a hero's face
And right here in your arms is the safest place
"I need you Boyd," she whispered softly, uncertain if she wanted him to hear the words, lest he abandon her as well.
"What was that Kendall?" he asked. She had spoken so quietly, and her head was still buried in his chest. The only words he could make out were "I" and "Boyd."
"I… I need you." She lifted her head from his chest. "I need you more than anything I've had before or ever will have. I need you more than Erica's acceptance. I need you here with me."
He opened his mouth to reply, but all coherent thoughts flew from his head. "I won't leave you," he whispered after some time had passed. Kendall allowed him to give her a kiss on the top of the head as she settled back into his arms.
One question remained for her to ask. "hy did you come here in the first place, Boyd?"
"Nothing that can't be handled in the morning," he replied. Let the Michael Cambias case rest for a night. She deserved some peace. They fell asleep on the couch, knowing that thought tomorrow may bring separation, tonight would be theirs for eternity.
Right here in your arms is the safest place
The safest place
The safest place…