There are many words I would use to describe myself. I'm a perfectionist with a sizeable amount of knowledge on a plethora of topics and value organization.

I'm very fashionable, always wearing very elegant and stylish clothing and never leaving the house without at least one piece of jewelry adorning my body.

I'm attractive, a beautiful, blossoming young woman always using beauty products to enhance and compliment my fair skin, strawberry blonde hair and light blue eyes. I also stick to a very strict diet and excersize routine to maintain my slender, lean figure.

I'm talented, my skills ranging from ballet to violin to singing.

I'm intelligent, a straight-A student with excellent test scores and a promising future ahead of me.

Coming from an upper, influential family, all these things are required of me. Which may have to do with all my flaws.

I may seem like the epitome of perfection, but I am far from it. From a young age I was expected to keep up an appearance that wasn't my own. The real me had flaws and that was something that wasn't tolerated by my strict parents. If I slipped up even a little I would be chastised and told I wasn't being good enough. I had to be perfect, flawless, exemplary, never once making a mistake. I felt like a servant to my own family. I was only around to be shown off as my parents' perfect little girl.

It hurt my self-confidence and self-esteem quite a bit. I was constantly nervous and questioning myself, always seeking others' approval. I became obsessive compulsive, always striving to make sure that I, as well as everything around me, was perfect. Just as expected.

If I saw a book out of place on a self, my fingers would twitch until I was able to fix it. If I noticed a hair straying from its place on my head, I would quickly put it where it belonged, convinced that everyone could see this insignificant detail and was judging me on it.

I had to pretend I was someone I wasn't even in the comfort of my own home. It felt like I was constantly on stage performing the role of a refined and sophisticated girl with an air of grace that had been taught to me for years. It became dificult for me to distinguish the real me from the me I projected to everyone else.

I supposed I could 'acting' to my list of talents.

Maybe that's why I was drawn into such an illusive scheme. Yes, scheme is a fitting word for the situation I ultimately brought upon myself. It started out innocently enough, but grew into something much more complicated as I sank deeper and deeper into a pool of deceit and lies. I could have stopped at any moment and come clean, but I didn't. I wanted so badly to be accepted and show a side of myself that no one had ever known that I couldn't stop. I never meant for it to go so far and I certainly never meant to hurt someone I loved so dearly.

It was my chance to actually be myself and show the world who I really was. Ironically, I had by hiding myself even further. By being someone else I found who I really am.

As I said before, the real me had faults. I am imperfect, I have flaws, I make mistakes. I just wanted to feel confident, secure, and complete instead of weak, insecure, and anxious like I normally was. But I had done it the wrong way and made a mess for everyone. Without someone there to tell me what to do or how to act, I made the biggest, but perhaps most needed mistake of my life.

I had no idea that the days ahead of me would be the best and worst days of my life.