"STOP FOLLOWING ME!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
Not one day goes by that I regret picking up those goddamned PANTS!
My name is *communication error* and I'm the field test administrator for the Ghostbusters. I originally only applied for the job as a joke to myself but it turns out they either really liked my resume or was really desperate. Either way it was after about the 'Azetlor Incident' that it cemented in my mind that I was a Ghostbuster. Something about Azzy killing all those kids I guess. Anyway, my job on the team is to field test all their new equipment. From the Dark Matter Generator, to the PDS, to the Meson Collider and other such gizmos and toys. It was basically my job to make sure our proton packs didn't blow us all the way to New Jersey. Because of how expensive all of this new tech was we needed some major funding. That's why I'm also in charge of collecting anything we can study for more data on ghost hunting. Any item that has a history with the paranormal or charged with massive amounts PK energy. Ray calls these items 'cursed artifacts'. Peter calls them 'junk'.
And that's where the goddamn pants come in.
It was during a job at the Sedgewick Hotel. We were there to shut down a node to a Gozerian mandala (VERY long story…). In the hotel, as we were searching for a way to get to the 13th floor, my PKE meter suddenly went off. Tracking the signal I found a pair of pants that were standing upright by themselves and seemed to be filled out as if an invisible person were wearing them. Figuring the pair of pants was one of the artifacts Ray told me about; I grabbed the pants and stuffed them in the proton packs storage case. After we shut down the node and went back to the fire house. I unloaded the storage case on my pack letting out the artifacts. The pants jumped out and seemed to stretch. And for every day after that, the pants would always follow me around the fire house. It started out as freaky but quickly dissolved to just plain annoying.
Until last night.
We had finally defeated Shandor the Architect and saved the world. First time for me by the way. But it definitely took its toll on me. Figuring with all the ghosts were gone after Shandor's destruction, I could get some much needed rest. But then I saw the pants.
Just one good night's sleep. JUST ONE NIGHT!
But then the pants did something it never did before. It jumped on my bed and kneeled over me. If someone was actually wearing the pants it would have looked like a girl was lying on top of me. And that's exactly what it felt like too. I could actually feel a woman's body on my own. The pants where the illustrious woman's legs would be. And then I felt slender but firm (and invisible) hands pinning me down and pursed lips that I couldn't see caressing my own. As if that wasn't freaky enough, the sound of my zipper being undone definitely did the trick.