In a big city
Do you actually have any clue what goes on in your city? Do you know all the names of the powerful and rich? Have you befriended all the well connected? Do you have dirt on everyone with a name?
Because I do. You might see what goes on in your city behind the government and all the uptight officials but do you see who is really in charge of your city? And how they keep close to everything, behind the scenes.
When I give someone my name, either two things happen; they can shiver in firght or they stay completely blank. How funny it is that when I tell people my name is Ian, it's just a name. A name and maybe even a memory of someone who bullied you when you were 5 and broke your bike. How when you and your wife decided to have kids, she came up with the name Ian and you had a flashback to the red bike and then said no to that name. Then again when I tell someone my name is Ian Hyke I can tell the difference on their face, I can tell the trusted from the oblivious, I can tell if they know me, or have never heard of me. Did you know that it doesn't take a lot of times hearing a statement until you start believing it's true? This is probably how my name got spread around. You hear a couple of rumours and start to fear. Why would I introduce myself to you? It means I want something from you.
To tell you honestly I never liked my name. It sounds dull, then again it is a name for a person, and most people are dull. In a big city just imagine how many people there are who go through life step by step. Dreading work, dreading their wives and husbands, dreading having to go to the store to pick up something because you forgot. You'd think that between the living but almost lifeless the living would actually stand out. This is not. It might seem strange but when you think about the philosophy it is actually quite understandable.
People see what they want to see..
In this case, in this city, in this part of this city, but even so almost everywhere, this is the case. The dreaded living but lifeless see the world shallow, they see a wife who always tells you to pick up your socks, they see a husband who doesn't find them attractive anymore, they see a child who lacks respect, they see a boss who is unfair. Busy in all their oh so accurate perceptions they miss the living, they miss the doctors who works some extra cash, they miss the girls with dirty jobs, they miss the high school boys with hidden agendas, they miss the high school girls with hidden identities, they miss the story that people give off when you simply tell them you're much feared name.
If they would just look beyond they would see what I see, they would know what I know and they would feel the way that I feel. Humans are strange creatures. Like my best friend Thomas Anderson.
"If I ever see your face in this town again I will make sure it will be the last time". I screamed. I screamed this to the person I hated most, I screamed to the person who hospitalized my brother, I screamed to Ian Hyke. Ian Hyke was an incredibly, what is the word... I can't even begin to explain what kind of a person he is. Even when we were in high school together he was always strange. And that time he got me arrested for murder wasn't very pleasant either. Alas threats, even though not empty, don't bother him. And I just have to run into him every single day.
My job is a job only I can do. I'm strong, stronger than anyone, even the doctors don't understand. I get my strength from something unknown because even my muscles break down. Jack, my boss, hired my when no one else would. And you know you're in trouble when Jack and Thomas are on their way to you.
Thomas... I always wondered about my name. Why did my parents choose that name? My little brother was always envious. He said Thomas Anderson was catchy, better than Nate Anderson. I always thought differently. Because of my brother I found out about myself. When we were younger my brother said something to piss me off.. I got upset and threw a refrigerator at him. We took that as a sign.
My job pays well, and brings me in trouble every day. Trouble like Ian Hyke, trouble like Shay.
Shay has never told me her last name, but you don't need to know her last name. I like her. She is strange and strong in different ways than me. I like her, but she probably already knew that.
"For the last time, this is my job, not yours. I am doing the job alone. " I told Thomas. I think he likes me. I like him too, he is a good business partner and to be honest without him I wouldn't have gotten as far as I am today. "This is Shay; you don't need to know her last name. She is good for this job, take it from me." Was what he told Jack an hour after we met. And so I did the job, and I got more jobs, and I got more connections. I do the dirty jobs people want done. You might underestimate my work load but that says more about your outlook on the world than it says about me. It's a big city and there is a lot going on that people don't know about. In a big city it's easier to ignore what you see. Yes of course you just saw a guy getting beaten up in that allay. But it's okay that you didn't interfere. It was one of the gangs of the city and it's better not to get mixed up in that. Also for all you know that guy was a bad guy who did bad things, they wouldn't just beat him up over nothing. This is the nature of most people, they find excuses.
I try not to rely on other people if I don't need to. I have a good name for getting my job done and of course have also made quite a few enemies along the road. Thomas likes me, and so does Ian. I dislike Ian, even though he does not look for excuses everywhere, if you look at him and manage not to avert your eyes you'll see what he is like. He lacks compassion. I keep Ian as a friend because chances are, he will one day have what I need.
It's a big city; I didn't come here for the people if I have to be honest. I came here because I am looking for something. I have been looking for this for quite a while and until I find it I cannot live a happy life. I couldn't possibly tell you, or anyone for that matter, what I'm looking for. I keep doing the dirty jobs because I know that what I'm looking for is something I will only find in the dirty parts of this town.
A little over three years back I got hurt. I had just gotten to this town and decided to build up a name for myself. Shay, a pretty and girly name, on a big motorcycle speeding around town. My first job turned out to be a trap. I was working for some guys and the job wasn't going to be pretty. But my mistake was not researching the city. I got hurt really badly and that was the day I met Ian. He, of course, knew what was going on and came to take a look at me. As I was lying on the ground and couldn't get up he talked to me. He introduced himself and wasn't quite satisfied with my reaction I could tell. He told me "if you manage to survive this, I'll think about becoming your friend." And then he left. I am not sure if it was fate or a coincidence but that day was also the day I met Dean and Thomas. Dean took me to his house and treated me. When I came there he was also treating Thomas for a knife wound. Dean was a doctor who was a friend of Thomas. Seeing how Thomas likes to do some rough jobs he often had to be treated by a doctor, but it's a little hard explaining an average of 3 shot wounds a month when you are a 'bartender' so there was a good deal between Dean and Thomas.
The great thing about Dean is that he actually knew who I was and what I was looking for, so he decided to help me.
"Shay you know I support you, but I love you just the way you are, you don't need it. " We had gotten into yet another argument about 'the thing'. "Drop it Dean, I'm serious" was Shays response as she walked out of the door to go on one of her 'jobs'. She knows I'm in love with her but she always brushes me off. I know she appreciates everything I do for her though. And everything can sometimes be quite a lot. The excuses I have to make at the hospital aren't too bad, but the false accusations that the cleaning staff was stealing medical supplies, honestly sometimes I wonder why they haven't fired me yet. But then I remember that I'm such a great doctor they can't afford to lose me. I hope.
Helping shay is not even that big of a deal, she is careful and strong and she knows her own limits. Thomas on the other hand, he sometimes just makes me want to scream, and maybe even throw a few punches. It's like every week he is at my door, a gunshot this week, a dislocated jaw the next week. It has become a fun game between me and Shay. "I bet 5 that it's gonna be a couple of broken ribs the next time". Well when I think about it, fun might not be an accurate description. From the medical en scientific side of things, I love Thomas. And one day I will find out why he is the way he is. They way he is being immensely strong and he heals way too fast. Even if he heals fast he does need treatment for his wounds and when he comes in saying "sorry, I didn't notice I got shot until I came home and took a shower" part of me is furious and part of me is amazed till no ends. Of course if he would go to a hospital they would do tests on him and find out about him. And I do not want to have that because I want to find out first. So for every time I treat Thomas he lets me run tests and pays me a little. I call it a great deal for science. I'm not sure if science would agree.
Besides Thomas and Shay I have some other deals and promising medical awards who I help. You can only imagine that in a big city a lot of things happen, so you can also imagine there are quite a few who would benefit from a deal with a doctor working some hours after the clock. This is the way I met Thomas and Shay, and it's also the way I met Anne Smith.
"Thank you so much for treating me, sir." Is how I thanked Dean. I can only guess he was shocked when he heard my story. I was stabbed pretty badly with a sword and coming up with a good cover story on the spot while bleeding to death turned out to be a little harder than I imagined. So I told him the truth or at least part of the truth and he seemed fascinated. He started going on about award winning scientific discoveries and something about someone named Thomas and someone named Shay, it was hard to keep track.
I had missed school for one week so I could only imagine how worried everyone was. Of course they don't really know me; they only think they know me because the possibility that I am not who I say I am has never crossed their mind. I can't blame them for that. My friends are two great guys and they are my best friends. I can't even imagine how life would be without them even if we haven't been friends for that long. Tom is so outgoing and he flirts with every pretty girl with preferably large breasts he comes across and Johnny is shy and likes to watch by the sidelines. Or at least that is who they seem to be if you would look at them from the perspective of a normal high school girl. And me being not such a normal high school girl I can say with good confidence that I am not the only one hiding my true identity and my true intentions. Doesn't everyone have hidden agenda's though?
Tom is always flirting with me but I know that he doesn't actually like or love me as more than just a friend. And I am completely okay with that. Now Johnny on the other hand, his emotions are a little harder to figure out. How those two became so close remains a mystery to me. Then again they don't know everything about each other and I do. Johnny being shy never really took a lot of initiative in life and watched from the sidelines. Then at one point he realised he was envious of the action and fun en mystery his friends were having. I think that drove him to do what he did and what he created. I can't blame him for that; in a way I think it was a good wake-up call for some of the people in this city. Tom wasn't that hard to figure out and because he is so caring and full of compassion so if I'm honest I was quite shocked when I found out he was the leader of the most vicious gang in this city. When I heard the story about his girlfriend it did clear up some aspects of his personality though. He has gone through a lot, Tom Stonewall.
The strangest thing about this all is that I know the days of our friendship will end eventually. They will find out about each other and there isn't any way to stop it. I wonder how they will react when they find out the person they are rivalling is their best friend.
I wonder how Johnny will react when he finds out about his best friend.
I wonder how he will react when he finds out about me.
"Stop it Tom!" Anne was shouting at me while I was taking pictures of her face. She is cute when she gets upset with me. We were walking through the city on our way from school. Anne and Johnny should just get over their selves and start dating because they are so obviously into each other. It's nice that we can all be friends like this. It makes things hard that I can't tell them everything though. I wish I could tell them but it would not be a smart thing to do.
I don't even know how I got here. It was probably because I was too greedy though. I wanted more, more power, more friends, more fun, more memories. Looking back I don't know how becoming a gang leader seemed like a good idea to solve my problems. It did the exact opposite of what I was trying to achieve. But maybe my first and biggest mistake was listening to Ian Hyke. I should've known better than to trust him. In the end all he does is convince you to do exactly what he wants. I understand why he is feared but I don't understand how someone hasn't taken him down yet. He might be the biggest reason she is now in the hospital and he doesn't even seem to care. He doesn't care he put his own sister in the hospital just to prove a point to her boyfriend.
To put aside my problems with the gang and Ian there is a whole lot of other troubles I have to deal with. Shay has been making the town unsafe and I won't even get into Thomas. The more disturbing news I got a while back is that apparently there is a girl or a women who slices up criminals with a sword. They aren't sure what her motives are yet, even though they seem pretty clear to me, and they haven't figured out her attacking pattern yet either. If this is true I could be in danger, but not only me..
I couldn't possibly tell Johnny what is going on, besides, he isn't in any danger watching from the sidelines anyways. As long as Ian doesn't do anything to Johnny, everything is okay. I'm sure he'll be allright..
"Stop it Tom!" I was shouting at Tom because he was taking pictures of Anne's face. "It's okay, we're all friends here, Johnny McKanzie" Tom said while winking. I hate my name, it doesn't sound like me at all. I seriously thought about changing my name before I moved to the city. Tom was an old friend of mine who moved to the city a while back. We called and chatted from time to time and he invited me out here. So I decided to move here. A pretty rash decision, yes. It is turning out to be a good thing though. Of course Tom doesn't know the entire story about why I moved to the city but it's okay, I shouldn't involve him with stuff like that, it would only put him in danger.
I hated living in a small village. I hated always watching from the sidelines. I wanted danger and fun and thrill. Of course I didn't expect it to turn out like it is. I didn't expect it to become this big and supported. The next step will be for that gang to be wiped out, and I can see a clear path towards my goals. But Ian told me never to underestimate that gang. Ian said the leader might be unknown as a person but everyone knows what he has done. Thomas did cross my mind, but I don't think he is the type to be the leader of the most vicious gang in the city. Then again I probably don't seem the type either. Ian seemed quite surprised when I told him (most of) what was going on. "Johnny McKanzie hardly seems like the name for someone like that. " he said. I can't really blame him though.
Fears like that drove me to it too I think. Hiding behind the security of the internet. Getting thrills but doing it from the save sidelines seemed like a great solution at the time. All I had to do was spread some rumours, create the website and hide behind the anonymity of the internet. It was surprising to see how big my support was in this city. But I guess everyone with a clue of what was going on saw straight through the intentions and decided to join me despite. Everyone without a clue of what was going on probably joined for the kicks of it. Once I realised how big it had gotten I honestly did not know what to do. But the logical conclusion was support. I supported them, convincing them they did the right thing, they were supporting the right person, the right group. I wouldn't call it a gang, but it certainly is one. It's a colourless gang. This attracted people. Being in a gang provides safety and danger at the same time. Hiding behind anonymity creates the affect of safety but leaves out the danger. The whole concept is smart, but when I'm found it, I will only see the danger.
What drives people to do things? I honestly don't understand how one can only watch from the sidelines without interfering. You have people like Ian and Thomas and Shay who like to be part of action and thrill and most of all danger. You have people who are too busy with their own lives to take part in others'. I guess I am a good mix of both. Some people however are harder to figure out. To look past the mask they put on and find out how they really feel and what they really think.
Like Ian Hyke.